[Not] Using the Bathroom

I need to use the potty, so the boys are given specific tasks to clean the toy room (younger son put the cars away, older son clean up the animals). Baby girls reviewing a book on the kitchen floor, it's seemingly a good moment to go. . . Ha!

The doors a jar, in the time it actually took me to use the bathroom Baby Girl started to empty her diaper bag and toddles over to me bringing one at a time: (push door all.the.way.open) my"eh-eh" as she hands me my lip balm, I take it and say thank you. She's thrilled and toddles off. {Older Son visits in the doorway to tell on Younger Son, I call Younger One over to tell him his job, again}. Meanwhile baby girl walks in front of him and brings my Tylenol bottle, again thrilled, leaves and returns with my wallet, always good
during pee time. {Younger Son comes in because Older One hit him on the KNEE, call Older One over for Best Behavior reminder}. Baby Girl pushes her way in and brings my keys, and makes two more trips brining HER wipes (actually useful), and my lipstick - opened with her finger covered in Mauve.

Finally I can wipe. And take pictures :-) The picture with her newly lipsticked finger just doesn't due the color justice.

Happy parenting!

Making a Healthy Food Change S-L-O-W-L-Y but Permanently

Examples Of Best, Great, and Good,

So now that you have paid attention to what’s around you, here's my simple category system that helped me manage my changes. I want you to know there is NOT ONE CHOICE on healthy living. We all live different lifestyles, some are fast paced, some are pay check to pay check, most are too stressful, so making a difference in your life and your families life is a process and there are always Good, Great and the best Choice. Understand that picking anyone of these choices IS A BETTER choice then doing nothing.


Example 1 - Fruit

Light Syrup/Heavy Syrup means that the fruit is canned in Corn Syrup. Usually High Fructose Corn Syrup (Read XXX on HFCS). Canned fruits in their Natural juices are best. Since there is no added preservatives. So what was in your closet? Clearly if it’s Natural Juices that’s great. And even if you have light or heavy syrups that’s OKAY too. Yeah – really. The next time you are preparing to serve the syrup canned fruit, simply rinse the fruits and dispose of the syrup before serving or baking. Yeah that’s it – rinsing the fruit and getting rid of the syrup in it IS the difference. You have just made a healthier eating choice!

 
More details on the fruit choices we make everyday... You know you should eat 5 fruits a day. (I am going to assume you do eat fruits, if not, this is an important place to start!). Eating a good variety of fruits doesn’t mean you have to buy all organic fresh fruits. But you have several good and better options:

Best
But fresh fruits (and vegetables). Make sure to wash them with running tap water and scrub the skin with a sponge. If you want to buy organic start simple. What do you eat at home? Try to buy those items fresh, and if possible try to buy 1 or 2 fresh fruits organically grown (see side bar on the top 12 preservatives used list) and switch to organic. Organic Fruits and Veggies are naturally grown, preservative and pesticide free. A BETTER choice then preservative sprayed fruits and veggies.

Great
Do you buy canned fruits? You have 2 options here.
Can you buy frozen fruits? Frozen fruits are cleaned and frozen at the peak of freshness. We don’t know yet if any9like they loose when heated) nutrients are lost because of freezing , but they are more beneficial then canned fruits. I recognize that sometimes the frozen version of fruit is out of season and too expensive so look at option b.

Good
Or If you prefer canned fruits buy fruits that are preserved in their natural juices. This way you not adding “preservatives” or added sugar to your diet. If natural juices are hard to come buy then but fruits canned in light syrup and rinse the fruits before serving. YES – get rid of the canning syrup – its not good for you.


How I learned about these options. Many places. i read reliable websites, and watch local TV that has educational tid bits. The organic advice comes from a afternoon news broadcast on WGN-TV Channel 9 in Chicago about the 12 most pesticide-laden foods. The Natural Juice versus corn syrup from the Book Mommy Made. To learn more here are some resources:

ü Mommy and me book
ü WGN TV Article & Book: induce "panic if it ain't organic," according to Renee Loux, author of "The Balanced Plate" (Rodale, $22.95). WGN TV Article web site: http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/features_julieshealthclub/2007/09/best-foods-to-b.html
ü Sited Environmental group - The Environmental Working Group – great resource!

Prenatal Iron Supplement helped me change my Life & Health

When I was pregnant with my first son I decided to stay home and be what we lovingly refer to as “family manager.” My method of learning is to read everything I can get my hands on and see where the opinions range from Left or Right, and then I decide where I stand. So I started reading about pregnancy tips, and symptoms of carrying a baby. I started to learn about the bodies natural way of dealing with illness and more importantly the natural remedies to helping some of my common troubles.

Of course I talked with my doctor about my concerns, but even in that instance there was a variety of opinions. My prenatal care and delivery doctors was a practice of five women OBGYN. The process was that you had an assigned primary doctor but then you also saw the other four women in the practice on a rotation, since we don’t know our delivery dates, anyone could be on call.

My first sons doctor said I was anemic and prescribed a prenatal iron supplement – which also caused constipation. So with that prescription I also received over the counter prenatal vitamins with a stool softener. A common issue in pregnancy apparently. Well as many moms know there are natural ways to relieve constipation for a baby. Prune juice, mixed with water is gentle enough or babies still developing intestines and is a great support for adults to. By my sons 2nd birthday I was learning even more about nutrition and things like the importance of Omega 3 fatty acids, and fiber in the diet or the lack there of as was in my case…

I was now pregnant with my 2nd son and had a different primary doctor in the same womens OBGYN practice. My anemia was significantly less of a problem (by now I had a new diet eating fairly healthy with lots of green leafy vegetables – a great source of natural iron). But here is the kicker. My doctor said "I could take a supplement for the iron but the way that iron was absorbed in pill form it wouldn’t make a significant difference for me. And it has not been proven to be an absolute necessity in pregnancy."

But do you notice what’s lacking in the information from both doctors? No discussion of nutrition or healthy eating. Granted the 2nd time around my doctor was more conservative in her "prescription" approach, but still didn’t mention overall the need for iron in my diet or during my pregnancy by encouraging specifics on healthy eating. But neither doctor (even though they were both great!) said eat more green leafy vegetables and broccoli! Wouldn’t that be the easiest solution. Yes it would.

I am not going to tackle if that’s the doctors main role in my pregnancy. An OBGYN is there to care for mom and the unborn baby within reason. Mostly looking for something wrong. If I wanted nutrition advice I should see a nutritionist right?

Well I did something about it. I continued reading and learning. I paid attention to specials on “alternative programs” on public television, snipits on evening news broadcasts about new studies, and even followed some celebrity authors on these subjects. No, I am not a celebrity junkie, but I do understand the power of the media. Celebrities use there fame to get onto talk shows to inform the public about serious issues facing us today.

How to change?

Mostly importantly I understand how hard it is to change our lifestyle. It is so much easier to pop in a frozen dinner or use a pre-made meal in a box for dinner. Who wants to cook when they get home from a high stress job, a long commute and still have homework and bath time all before 9 p.m. I realize not everyone has the benefit of staying home but for our healths sake we have to find the time to make small changes.

OK my fellow family manager moms your day is hard, I know, and you manage A LOT, I know. For all of us it is really a matter of priority in our lives. Do we want to live long or should we be made a part of this big chemical experiment?

How to change? Slowly, yes slowly. Nothing changes overnight.

1. My first goal was to start thinking about the issues and what I was putting n my mouth. Yeah, that’s right, if you just start thinking about the issues discussed here you will start to change because you will inherently know what’s right for your family. There is no one formula for everyone, but a small change, any change, is positive. (For example eating white hard cheese are healthier then orange cheese, there you just made a change.)

2. I simply acknowledged that some of these things talked about regarding health and packaged processed food did affect my life. "Maybe" is a common family illness so are some of those pre-made boxed products in your pantry.

3. And finally I started actively “paying attention.” Look I know your busy in the hustle and bustle of life, but take a moment to pay attention to what’s around you right now. That means if you hear about a study on the news and it sparks your interest, just pay attention. Think about the story and how it impacts your life. Maybe its an online article or newspaper article.

I have listed 3 examples below of what you can “pay attention” to in your life RIGHT NOW. Read the examples below, pick one, do it and then keep reading, and try the next perhaps.

For example:

Do you buy canned fruit – go to where you store them and read on the front label how many cans are with “light syrup, "heavy syrup” or “in natural juice.” When you cant buy fresh fruit, buy canned fruit in its own natural juice. It's cuts down on the excess sugars in the syrup version.

Did you recently spray your home with a disinfectant and you now have that “clean” smell? That's the smell of chemicals in your home. We Americans have been conditioned to think this smells are clean, meaning germ free and keeping us healthy. Not so!

What kind of laundry detergent do you use, what does it say on the Packaging? “Eco-Friendly,” key words like “Free” or “Clear,” or it just says it’ll clean your clothes?

This is my favorite tip::

Go to your medicine cabinet, take a look at your prescriptions, vitamins, lotions potions and get a mental picture – or jot down a few items on a pad of paper. Are you constantly taking mess to calm your stomach, anti acids, allergy relief, etc. maybe the problems what your eating CAUSING you these stomach issues.


Doing nothing and just continuing to do things like we have always done is no longer an option. Whatever it is to male you start to make a change, you'll be glass you did. Start somewhere now. It's not just about me or you anymore, we have babies to care for.

"The days are long, the years are short."

A toddlers job is to explore... And drive you nuts!!

Repetition & Not getting mad. It's been my (in)sanity using these strategies in the toddler years... And my 10 month old baby girl is putting my to the test! But these strategies - which I've pieced together through the last 7 years - have really help me and husband stay sane.

You should only say something once right? Well think about the adults in your life. I am sure you can name a few who don’t hear things that you say the first time. Or the second. Sometimes we need to say things many times, and try to say it different ways. Well that’s the same with baby.

First, KNOW that Toddlers will get into things. Your cake batter that you left on the counter “just for a second,” your basket of nicely folded cloths on the floor, or the electrical outlet that's got those cool slots - ugh. A toddlers job is to explore the world. That is how kids learn. So realize that you may have to say "no" many, many, many, times before your toddler or kid figures it out – “oh, I am not supposed to do that.” And yes, that it natures way of learning. So just hold on, you kids will learn…..slowly.

Redirect. This is a great strategy. When babies are crawling to walking, you take what ever they pick up away and say “thank you.” Then take baby to a new toy or book, away from the unwanted area and redirect them to doing something new.

Sometimes when I hear Husband in another room falling into old bad habits, like saying no too much, or hear his frustration, I'll say "redirect." And he does, with a toy or a task, and it's another crisis averted (usually).

“Break the Cycle” A comment on Hitting. There is a difference between discipline and “hitting.” Many of us were spanked or hit as kids and we think its OK to hit our kids now. Well. I disagree. In order to make progress we need to change the way things are done sometimes. When you hit a child you do get an immediate response, they stop what ever they were doing “wrong.” But the long term damage, yes damage, is terrible. Kids have low self esteem, are more violent themselves, and don’t learn coping skills. Yes it is tiring to explain all the time, or redirect 10 times or say "no" many, many, many times. But parenting takes time.

So, the next time you are disciplining your child, try to redirect. And keep trying alternative ways to discipline. Remember, just like it takes many, many, many times to change babies behavior. It takes time to change your behavior too! A psychology professor told me once, “If it takes 25 years to create a habit, it will take nearly half as long to change it. “

Testing You. Babies, Kids and Toddlers are testing you. They are always trying to see how far they can push boundaries and the rules to get what they want. Anything from crying a little longer to pulling that lamp cord one more time. You PARENT, need to try to keep calm. Realize that your kids will not do these things when they are 18 years old, compared to 18 months old. And it is babies job to test you. This is how kids learn. And I know it just wears away at your nerves, but here are a few ways to cope.

Be consistent. That means no means no. You can’t say we are leaving right now,…and then let your kid go down the slide 3 more times. I think you just need to be consistent. Starting at birth when you tell baby you are going to do something, so it. And not in 5 minutes. If you say “no,” just stick to it. And yes, its hard to stick to it. They will cry but that’s when you “redirect” and offer a cookie or talk about where you are headed next. This strategy will only be necessary for 1-2 years until they learn “hey, mom said no, that’s it.”

Quick Story #1: Even when he was in the womb, kicking or moving around, I would say “Hi Peanut.” Or “It’s okay peanut, get comfy,” or just “it’s okay, and rub my belly. When he was born he was crying at birth, I said “HI Peanut, it’s okay.” And kept talking, and he stopped crying. 9 months of comforting using the SAME WORDS over and over helped calm him down. After we came home, when he would cry, I would always go to him and say “it’s okay,” in a soft voice. Even before I picked him up. Then as baby got bigger and could sleep several hours at a time, I used the same tactic If it wasn’t time for a feeding but time to still sleep at night, I had him in a bassinet next to our bed, I would just say” it’s okay baby, mommy’s here.” And most of the time he was comforted by just hearing my voice. But that’s because I did this “it’s okay” all the time.

Quick Story #2: As a toddler we said thank you everytime he would pick something up that was a no-no. Thank you for my slippers. Thank you for the dog leash. Thank you for the bread that fell on the floor. Thank you for the chunk of dog hair. Thank you for my cup I left on the coffee table. Now I have a little helper at home. Older Son loves to hear thank you for clean up time, and thank you for draining the bath water. Thank you for baby signing lu-lu (sleep time). He still picks up cups form the coffee table and reaches up to drop them in the sink. Being consistent had an effect I didn’t expect! It was really cool too!

Quick Story #3: More great advice, get outside everyday with baby. Event if its just for a few minutes. This evolved into daily trips to the park or around the block for a walk. When we did go to the park and down the slide or in the swing, I always said “1, 2, 3, go” by 18 months, my son was saying 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. He also said 2, 3, go right before he would walk down stairs, run in the yard, or go down a slide alone. Children learn through repetition…so repeat, repeat, repeat and they will learn what you say. Obviously the opposite is true. We had friends who said “Oh S***” all the time. Then there daughter said it in her 2 year old way….

Just one more slide at the park.

The days are long, the years are short. 

Baby Registry ... Do I need all this stuff?? Part I

Baby Supplies Made Easy - it's not what you think.

There's something about having a baby that no one has told you yet! I've come to realize that once the baby has arrived, what baby actually needs is this: YOU!

Baby needs you, more then anything else. Babies want to be held, and to smell you, to feel your warmth and hear your heartbeat. That human contact it priority number one! (Let's remember this wen feeling overwhelmed walking into those baby super store for registry application). 

After baby's born: it's ALL about adjusting to a New Relationship.

I think that having a baby is about building new habits. It's like a "new dating relationship." You have to get to know this new person. Get used to them. You're already hopefully thinking about the new person often, and wondering how they feel about you. 

Frankly a new baby relationship is sooooo much easier then dating! You don't have to worry about looking cute, all.the.time. Make-up? Ha, baby doesn't care about how you look. Are you feeling down, a little sad? And NOT in the mood to do anything? Baby is definitely cool with that too. You don't have to try to impress baby, cute outfits, new lipstick and smelling good will not make this relationship successful. 

What makes a new baby relationship successful? Re-read paragraph 2 and 3, and add "just the way you are" to the answer.

Lastly, I'd say now that you know "YOU, just the way you are" is all that baby needs, let's talk about how you can adjust to this "new baby relationship." 

Babies do have needs. Of course. Besides needing you, first, then try need to survive. Here's the part you expected that you need to do:

- Let baby sleep, regularly.

- Feed baby
- Dress baby
- Change baby's diaper

In order to meet babies needs you have to rethink your habits and your daily routine. Are you used to waking up, grabbing coffee, and getting dressed? Well you now to build a new morning routine. You'll probably have to wake up a little earlier to feed that new person. Change their diaper before you feed them, because baby will probably fall asleep after / during eating. Then, and only after baby's needs are met, can you do what you need to do. So I guess this is the part if the relationship that totally rocks your world. You don't have to look cute, but you do have to put this other persons needs first. 

Just try to Make the Best of It. This can be a confusing time. But its simply because you have a whole new person in your life.

I have a second post on next steps, including: cloth diapers, homemade baby food and a baby routine. I also wrote a post on baby resource books that are actually informative for a NEW perspective... not the what to expect one.

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud