You learn as you go

You learn as you go.

My older son is now 7 and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him. 

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Routine keep me sane!

See our family routine in this post. And the original MIMIT KIDS TV SCHEDULE Routine post here. And more ponderings on the schedule here.  

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows. 

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine.

After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities.  There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete. 

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids. 

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Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

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Make mistakes. Breathe. Reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids mentally ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to Kids" About your Upcoming Vacation.

In preparing for our family vacation to attend a dear friends wedding in Jamaica, I wanted to prep our kids for what to expect.  Pinterest has oodles of pins on what to pack in your kids carry-on. But what about the emotional and mental preparation?  As an avid traveler for my WHOLE LIFE, both by road and airplane, I knew there was as much mental preparation as physical packing that's required. I wanted some discussion ideas for setting our kids travel expectations. I wanted some games and activities to help our kids prepare for the Long Distance travel. This was a new experience for my kids, and we know that talking about it helps tremendously set their expectations and too keep my sanity.

I couldn't find many resources, so here's our Beyond Backpacks, packing our emotional toolbox for vacation.

2 Adults 3 Kids = 1 checked medium luggage, 1 checked carry on luggage, 3 backpacks, 1 roller carry on, 1 purse

I was reviewing Pinterest for some quick links to mom bloggers and magazine articles on what to prepare  when traveling with kids. Our actual luggage and carry on items lists are below, eventhough this isn't what I was looking for.

We are taking our three kids with us on a fabulous Caribbean island getaway for a lifelong friends wedding. We have taken the kids dozens of times to nearby states, within a 3-4 hour drive to Wisconsin and Indiana. And once I traveled alone with my best friend on a 12-hour train ride to Minnesota with our then four kids: 4 year and 18 month old boys and girls!! However, we had yet to take them anywhere by airplane. I'm a traveler since childhood with extensive experience and stories. I've been to 45 of the 50 United States and 8 countries. My husband and I visited 4 countries and 8 states prior to having kids -- (for prosperity ...details). 

I know how to live out of a carry-on for 15 days as we did in Japan. And countless weekend getaways taught me less is much much more. Packing our clothes was not my concern (however I do include our Island Caribbean packing list below).   I was more interested in the anticipation and "mental" preparation for the kids. Of course I did come across the fab tips and tricks savvy Mom's had that I loved:

- pack gum for the flight for popping ears

- pack an entire bag of lollipops - for there and back trips for toddlers popping ears (and when you just need silence, like the wedding ceremony!)

However I didn't find anything beyond packing the kids backpack carry-on. So here's my version of preparing kids for long travel.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I still packed too much!!


Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Upon entering the airplane, my two year old baby girl was invited into the cockpit. She did NOT have to be encouraged. To my amazement she went straight to the steering wheel and wanted to push All Of The Buttons. Then the captain came and we had to scoot. And smile at the long line waiting for us to get into the cabin (oops).


Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Timing:

By Christmas the kids knew our trip to Jamaica was in January. Yes, we told them a whole 2 months early! We ended up "reviewed the timeline" very often. Remember we are building our kids emotional tool box, setting expectations, so don't be annoyed when your kids ask ten times about an upcoming event. Put a framework around their questions to help keep their excitement calm and your parenting sanity.

My youngest would ask "Mom when is my birthday?" And I'd reply (with large concepts he could understand) "first is our Winter break starts, then Christmas, then New Years, and then  we go back to school for 14 days. After that we are in Jamaica where we will celebrate your birthday." He'd say: "Yes!!"  I know it's a lengthy reply, but it was an extensive amount of time to let pass. He would get antcy if we didn't put a framework around his expectations. By New Years Eve he was checking off the list for me, "Mommy, New Years is over, next is School and then we will go to Jamaica for my birthday celebration!" Isn't that better then a kid crying about when is he having his birthday?

Next - Dealing with the Intangible: Time

1. A Countdown paper chain. Similarly to when we traveled to Japan, upon returning to school we made an easy - and not fancy - countdown chain or Jamaica. As the time draws near kids need help managing there anticipation.  Counting days, everyday helps a lot.

2. Tell Me Why / When?  Just like kids love hearing their favorite story over and over, or their favorite song EVERYTIME your in the car, they also want to hear about the trip your taking. It will be the same questions like: where are we going? When are we going? Why is it hot there? After you answer the questions enough times you can flip the script on them. When the kids ask you a question you can simply ask the question back and say "Tell me why?" Or "Tell me when we are leaving?" Once you have answered the question, you helping kids apply what they heard you say, helping memory skills, and eventually layering ideas which helps with complex thoughts and future problem solving skills. 

3. Preparing Kids & Anticipating the Trip - as the vacation became weeks away we would start to ask the kids questions:

- what will Jamaica look like?

- what will we do there?

- what will we eat?

- do you think the people are nice? What do they look like? 

- what will our room look like (sleeping arrangements: my older son doesn't like bunking with his brother, so we had to break the news that they were sharif a sleeper. As an aside, to help with this bunking together, we recently agreed to let older son have his own room, so if younger son is regularly sleeping in a room with his sister - bunking on trips will be less of an issue.)

Obviously our few questions lead to more questions from the kids, and great family discussions. An obviously that's the point, conversation. It's healthy to discuss what's coming up next: (and not just for those future problem solving skills) children's coping skills for all the big changes, kids can anticipate patience, and being bored on a 3-hour flight. 

These conversations were great times to talk about: appropriate behaviors, and when not to talk, like through customs. Kids don't yet grasp finite details like the difference between foods you need to declare and say gum, or hard candy. I didn't want my son correcting me when I say no food (I could already see him politely chiming in - because normally I allow it - "don't forget the candy and bread mom." I'd reply, "no honey we already are it on the plane," and said customs official directs us to the table for a search.... More time wasted). So to completely avoid this we told our older and younger sons "there will be times that only mom or dad talks to the adults at the airport!!" This simplifies matters quickly.

5. Packing Matters

Some surprises are nice too - so don't tell them everything you are packing. Or maybe pack an extra new toy (ours was a Lego chima pack for $4).

-- The kids each had a snack bag, but didn't know about other snacks I packed.

-- Some things we left out. Like talking about a possible in flight movie (in case it was something the kids wouldn't like). 

-- I did pack a surprise small Lego chima pack to assemble for the flight cause when they got super bored I had a surprise planned.

This PACKING LISTS fits IN:

- 2 medium size luggage (I actually took one medium and one carry on checked, however it's good to leave "room to grow" so your not carrying souvenirs in a plastic bag that you have to carry).

Total carry-ons 4: Dad, Mom & Baby shared, Older son and Younger son.

Plus moms purse.

Our kids carry on packing list:

I've always packed my luggage as if "I'll never see it again or it'll be delayed getting to me." So we always pack a bathing suit and a change of clothes in our carry-on. In this case my husband took he kids changes of clothes because he personally had NO carry on needs.

Each kid picks their carry on back pack. I overrode younger son and AFTER his back pack was packed, and heavy, I insisted he take the roller pack (backpack on wheels). I had my own stuff to schlep and I wasn't gonna take his cause mom it's too heavy. When younger so protested I made him wear it around the house all morning... At the end of the first hour he agreed - "it's too heavy mom!!"

6. Each child was asked to pack one (their choice):

- snack bag (we picked up non-sticky food packs at target. Yes, I bought mini snack-size packs instead of making my own... Sanity!)

- small soft stuffed animal / toy

- small pillow (they can lean on this in the plane / back support / snuggles, etc.

- small favorite book

- a small journal (we encouraged drawings pictures or writing about the trip everyday. Especially when the kids were antsy waiting for lunch on "island time" we'd take a toy Or journal with us for stuff to do)

- small (not tiny, always leave room for more stuff or consolidating later) sandwich zip lock baggie for crayons, a pencil, and sharpener if needed

- gallon Baggie 1/4 full if small hard toys (my Lil' ones like playing with army guys, animal figurines and matchbox cars)

Then child specific:

- younger son get a sandwich bag 1/4 full of his beloved Legos. Which HE picked the pieces.

- younger son favorite dot to dot coloring book

- younger son Pokemon cards

- brain quest age: 4-5 

- older son took a second book (Diary of a Whimpy Kid for him to re-read, again)

- older son dinner game questions and his animal cards - we play "bigger stronger" all the time since age 3, and evolved to better predator by age 5

- baby girl gets those over 600 sticker books. We put a sticker on her hand and she sticks it - mostly crooked - to the page... Hours of fun! Her and Younger son

- change if clothes

- diaper needs in baggies - so I don't carry things loosely in my hand on the plane - I'll need to grab her or a seat in turbulence and I don't want my diaper, wipes, and butt paste to I flying

- extra lollipops

- scooby doo memory game, we just look trough the cards in the bag and match them

I also took for me a book, my jewelry, make up bag and my one outfit and bathing suit. I also fit a change of sandals. My carry on is slightly larger then a backpack so I took 3 more pieces of my nice clothes. 

7. For 3 Kids: our Island Caribbean luggage packing list:

Kids helped pick their outfits- try need to learn how to mix and match clothes and patterns. These packing times are ideal to learn these valuable skills!!

We planned to live on the beach. And we decided to get "dressed fancy" for dinner each day (the kids LOVED this idea). We packed accordingly.

- 3 bathing suits each (1-packed in carry on)

- we lived in our bathing suits so only 4 pair if underwear. We can always wash them in the sink if needed.

- 3 pairs if shorts (nice, no holes or rips) (1-packed in carry on)

- 3 best tshirts + 2 extra (we use them as pj's, beach cover ups I'm strong sun, and a quick change before lunch from one Tshirt to the next). (1-packed in carry on and one used for layering on our airplane outfits).

- 1 pair of crocs (worn to airport with socks)

- beach non slip shoes (we are a barefoot no socks family in the heat!)

- Accessories - 1 belt each and suspenders (boys can share for variety)

- 1 "fancy" wedding shirt (we choose a linen button down for younger son and a yellow collared polo for older son. 

Baby girl had 1 pair of shorts and 2 dresses replace the other 2 pairs instead. 

For kids I also packed liquid Motrin and pepto Bismal for a just in case emergency (I don't like relying / waiting on hotels and others when I neeWe had a d stuff / first aid for my kids - so I did over prepare here). We also had a few band aids, my personal tweezers, a small neosporin tube for cuts, small hydrocortisone tube for itches or big bites and An ear thermometer.

Each child wore long pants for departure, then layered in a Tshirt, lightweight long sleeve (great for possible sunburn cover up too) and a polo shirt for boys on the very top. Baby girl had a floral shirt instead of a polo. Then each child had a hoodie sweatshirt. Before landing I changed each child into shorts and simply removed there layers (during flight for comfort) and ultimately down to their tshirts for landing. There was room in each of their carry-ons for their clothes or in dad's carry-on.

I am blogging this for many reasons. I of course will return to this post for my electronic checklist. WE HAD A SUCCESSFUL TRIP... so I am going to use this advice for myself again.

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect. And don't forget to Laugh.Out.Loud.

Mommy "What's the Plan?" :My Momism

This has been a daily routine question in our house for years! Mommy What's the Plan for Today? I honestly can't remember how it started, but I know now I can't live without our daily "plan review." It was probably a "redirect strategy" when my Older Son was little. He would cry over something minor, and instead of going on and on over the matter, we redirect > "hmph, what should we do today honey?" or "let's go see what the plan is for today while we drink some juice, ok?"

areyousureaboutthatblog Whats the Plan for Today Mom? It' s a simple statement that
prevent meltdowns and keeps us aligned.

When my eldest was 2 or so, I'd review our day at breakfast. "After breakfast we will go to the park, play a little, and then go buy milk." Enough information for him to handle, and get excited about his favorite parts.

Ironically I've found that my kids don't nag in other ways I've heard of - like the night before a big activity or trip - some kids can't sleep or ask there parents over and over, "so we are going to {insert name} place tomorrow right?" My boys don't do this type of nagging, and I think it's because through this process they've learned to control and temper their excitement.

Now my eldest is 8, and young son is 4, on weekends we sit at breakfast and review the day - the whole day. And if something comes up in the afternoon, I say "we have to review the plan, there's a small change." And thankfully meltdowns are a thing of the past (well, mostly, for plan change reasons we can manage!). 

There are days where my older son tells me "but you said we'd go to the store first." When I actually said "responsibilities first, then the store." Selective hearing? Maybe... It could be a new type of excitement and wanting what he wants Right Now! So I've started stating the plan and having HIM repeat it. That way we are on the same page. 

Even my husbands in on the routine. Since he works so much, sometimes Saturday morning is our first chance to touch base on what weekend adventures are in store for us. My kids giggle when dad says first "what's the plan mom?" I still don't know why the kids like so much when dad says that!? 

It takes a few minutes to walk through our days plan, but everyone knows what to expect and what's happening next - and that makes for happy kids and happy mom! 

Make mistakes. Breath, reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud.

Our Family Routine for the School Year, Age 7, 3, and 6 months

Every mom says: I can't believe my baby is already in (my case) second grade! He's seven, where did the time go? Not long ago it was me and him at home, still napping three times a day. We were a family of three, now we are five...

It's a ROUTINE,...not a schedule that keeps us sane!

I still believe strongly in keeping a "routine" to help keep our sanity at home... Otherwise I find that nothing gets done - nada! You will notice that there are some tasks here that my kids do alone - because over the summer and thru the years I taught them to take care of on their own:

--get dressed, underwear, shirts, pants. The clothes for the day is laid out the night before (together with mom for my youngest son, but the older one can do it on his own now) in their rooms so we know what to wear.

--use the bathroom, brush and rinse their teeth, Comb their hair with a wet comb (to take down those little sticking up-out hairs).

-- put on socks and shoes, get on their sweater if needed.

-- in the car they can open their door and put on their seatbelts/ car straps and mom asks: "seatbelt check?" and they reply "check" -- I of course lock in the baby and check the 3 year old belts before we leave. My 7 year old can clearly tell me if he needs a minute more.

I am trying to keep us on a nice schedule with back to school. We started this one week prior to school starting so we could adjust our "summer" internal body clock.

A little reflection from my "Toddler Schedule Post" - You learn as you go

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didn't watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine. After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.


We get up at 7:00 am. (we may need to move this up 15 minutes)

The baby gets to sleep in. The boys get dressed, mom too. The three year old sometimes stays in his PJs depending on if we are going grocery shopping (Tuesdays) right after drop off. Use the bathroom, brush teeth, check short hair is not sticking out, up, sideways and head downstairs.

Breakfast at 7:15

We eat breakfast. Usually we start with a cup (ceramic! see why here) with 50/50 juice & water or milk. We eat either: toast with jam and sliced fruit. Or cereal and kefir yogurt to drink. Sometimes eggs with some veggie in them and topped with cheese. You get the idea, its quick but freshly made. Meanwhile I make and pack the lunch, sometimes a quesadilla taken in slices in the thermos so the stay warm. The stainless steel interior thermos is warmed by putting boiling water inside or running hot tap water in it, then wiped off.

I have a stack of homemade lunch notes that I pick from for the lunch bag. Im gonna send these until my kid is sick of me! Lunch note goes in.

By 7:30-ish am we get ready to leave for school.

Boys get there shoes on and my second grader grabs his lunch bag & backpack (from the hook) and double checks he has his forms/ homework/ etc for the day.

Mom heads back upstairs to wake The baby. I get her in a new diaper, leave on the PJs and we are ready to leave.

Out the door by 7:40 am.

Drive My older son to school and come back.

8:30 am

Get the rest of breakfast or juice for my little boy and nurse/feed the baby and get my coffee and juice (fresh juiced veggies and fruits). Watch a little cartoons with the 3 year old and baby girl nurses to a nap.

10:00 am

Baby girl nurses to nap. Read a book or do an activity with 3 year old.

Baby wakes up at 11:00 or so.

Go for a Walk, or hit the park with babies bottle and lunch. Baby girl is getting some solids with us.

12: noon

Put both kids down for a nap in mommies bed. I nurse the baby and read books to the other. I have a long thin pillow that goes next to the boy so he doesn't roll over on baby. If I'm exhausted I'll nap with them.

1:30-2:00 pm or so.

Wake up time. Sometimes they'll wake up on their own or I wake them up bu uncovering them. The hangs in temperature is a more natural way to wake up & I feel I have less cranky kids that way. Everyone has a quick snack and we head out to Pik up my older son from school.

2:30 pm Pick up from school.

We are home by 3:15-3:30 so I prepare the Snack for them, change to play clothes, play a little and then homework time.

Meanwhile moms in the kitchen making dinner preparations. My younger son has his preschool activity books to do his "homework" too. Ill feed the baby at the table with the boys. Can you say multitasking. When baby gets a little older i know ill do lunch/dinner preparations during the noon nap time.

5:00 pm

Hit the yard, park or any outside time!! When baby girl was really young id have to Usually sit and Nurse her or have to hold her the rest of the night. Luckily its a good time for the boys to run and play. I still nurse her or give her some solids while the boys play.

Dinner time 6:00-6:30.

We might squeeze in a cartoon before dinner, wash hands and eat at the table.

7:30 pm

if it's bath night/or wash face hands teeth and off to bed. The boys often join us in bed for some books and we let them fall asleep in our bed. Baby also nurses to sleep. Luckily while the playlist runs mommy - who's attached to baby - gets to be on pinterest, facebooks, etc... A little my tube time.

Ill move the boys back to their beds and head back downstairs.

Moms bedtime & the next feeding:
By 10:00 pm

Baby will sometimes take 2 ounces in a bottle other times she'll just nurse.

Baby still wake up and nurse one or two times then she will wake up at 4:am and take another two ounces in the bottle. Almost sleeping thru to the morning.

And then we start the day all over again.