Baby Registry ... Do I need all this stuff?? Part I

Baby Supplies Made Easy - it's not what you think.

There's something about having a baby that no one has told you yet! I've come to realize that once the baby has arrived, what baby actually needs is this: YOU!

Baby needs you, more then anything else. Babies want to be held, and to smell you, to feel your warmth and hear your heartbeat. That human contact it priority number one! (Let's remember this wen feeling overwhelmed walking into those baby super store for registry application). 

After baby's born: it's ALL about adjusting to a New Relationship.

I think that having a baby is about building new habits. It's like a "new dating relationship." You have to get to know this new person. Get used to them. You're already hopefully thinking about the new person often, and wondering how they feel about you. 

Frankly a new baby relationship is sooooo much easier then dating! You don't have to worry about looking cute, all.the.time. Make-up? Ha, baby doesn't care about how you look. Are you feeling down, a little sad? And NOT in the mood to do anything? Baby is definitely cool with that too. You don't have to try to impress baby, cute outfits, new lipstick and smelling good will not make this relationship successful. 

What makes a new baby relationship successful? Re-read paragraph 2 and 3, and add "just the way you are" to the answer.

Lastly, I'd say now that you know "YOU, just the way you are" is all that baby needs, let's talk about how you can adjust to this "new baby relationship." 

Babies do have needs. Of course. Besides needing you, first, then try need to survive. Here's the part you expected that you need to do:

- Let baby sleep, regularly.

- Feed baby
- Dress baby
- Change baby's diaper

In order to meet babies needs you have to rethink your habits and your daily routine. Are you used to waking up, grabbing coffee, and getting dressed? Well you now to build a new morning routine. You'll probably have to wake up a little earlier to feed that new person. Change their diaper before you feed them, because baby will probably fall asleep after / during eating. Then, and only after baby's needs are met, can you do what you need to do. So I guess this is the part if the relationship that totally rocks your world. You don't have to look cute, but you do have to put this other persons needs first. 

Just try to Make the Best of It. This can be a confusing time. But its simply because you have a whole new person in your life.

I have a second post on next steps, including: cloth diapers, homemade baby food and a baby routine. I also wrote a post on baby resource books that are actually informative for a NEW perspective... not the what to expect one.

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud 

How to Survive all the baby advice?

Is every women on earth required by law to give unsolicited advice? I think so…I think women live and breath to tell you to this or that, but don’t forget ot this, and please don’t that! UGH! So why write this book? Well, frankly – its practical advice that I have gathered from reading other books, by the droves. Most moms don’t have time to read. Or sleep. So here is a quick read, east guide to the who, why how and where you can find it if you need to read further.

Good luck, you will do great!

Now I'm not telling you to READ!! But that's what I did. I remember when I was 2 months pregnant, I still hadn’t told anyone at work or in my family, I went to a area book store with my husband to find a nice pregnancy guide. Then I came across the “mom section” with scores of books on parenting, newborns, breastfeeding, baby sign language (WHAT?!), more on pregnancy journaling, baby journaling, scrap books, and I had my first emotional breakdown. OH MY GOD! How hard can this possibly be? All these books on babies and parenting, (and here I am writing one more?)

Well, I gathered up a stack of 10 books, and sat on the floor in a corner and started reading. For those who are pregnant (B.C. – before children), I recommend this type of moment, where you are alone, and it’s quiet, and you can sit and read all day. . . for those mom’s who already have there babies in hand (A.D. – after domination, child takes over your life) I know you are giggling. Well stop you are scaring the new moms.

So amongst my stacks of books (they grew) I learned a lot! Really great practical advice, and some books, you know the one that’s really popular one with the month-to-month “what if” guides, scared my to death with all the “this could be wrong if” scenarios. DON’T READ THOSE BOOKS! You have enough of other real time mom stuff to handle!

After my trip to the store, I brought home 3 books. In the what to read section, I have given you my “short” shopping list that I recommend for all mom’s and dad’s (and all the great support people, family, friends, in our lives).

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

New Baby or Have a Toddler - Recommended Books that will be your Resources

As we know it takes a village to raise a child. And regardless of the free advice from family and friends, it is nice to get realistic, sane, and reusable advice too from "more" reliable resources. Reusable because at 2:00 in the morning, trust me, you won't always remember what your mom or the doctor told you. . . at 2 a.m. you probably won't remember much at all.

These pregnancy / baby book recommendations were my lifeline for everything from bathing and changing the baby, to fevers and rashes....all of which can be scary situations to a new mom or dad and even an experienced mom. These books are easily kept by your bedside as reference material for that 2:00 a.m. wake up call from baby.

Happy reading! Love every moment of pregnancy - and take pictures....

The Seven Book Recommendations Include Title and Authors, with links to Amazon.com (where you can see the cover page of the book, notes from other readers, etc.). Six books are great for new or expecting parents, even one book just for dad.These are still my reference books with my boys today (ages 5 and 2)!! Happy reading...

Baby Love A Tradition of Calm Parenting
- by Maud Bryt

Before you get all caught up in what to buy for baby, what to expect from your pregnancy and the other anxious feelings we get from being pregnant....this book is a realistic, fun, and WONDERFUL way to think about having your baby. Truly at the core of being a mom in the first year.

Quick read, short book. This is a great guide to getting ready for baby (practical stuff). Everything from pre-baby preparations thru the first few weeks with baby, written by a women who's mother and grandma and great grandma were midwives in Holland. Women who helped new moms in the first few weeks after birth. I LOVE this book for being a practical mom and how to care for a newborn. Love the quick chapters on creating soothing routines and having what you REALLY need for baby. Tips from clothes and baths, to naps and feeding, and handling visitors and outings (it'll give you ideas on what to return to the store after the baby shower). It may be a special order online and not available in bookstores, but worth it!!

I do want to add - that in our "Western" culture we tend to overbuy, and underuse. The Baby Love book does a truly good job explaining the practical things you need to register for/buy for baby. Even great travel advice.  

Table of Contents/Chapters: (126 pages)

Introduction, Nursery, Clothing, Food, Sleep, Crying, Bath, Diaper, Play (with sub-headings like sight, smell, taste, sound and baby-proofing advice) , Outings, Family, Illness, Visitors (sub-heading like Rules for Visitors and Keeping up with Thank You Notes and Pictures).

  

Dr. Spocks Baby and Child Care

- by Benjamin Spock and Robert Needleman, MDs - 8th Edition or Later
This thick book is my bible !!! Still with my oldest being 5!! It is quick reference 1-2 pages on what to do with a fever at 1:00 am, call the doctor or not. Everything on caring for baby in the first few weeks thru toddler years and adolescents. I still use this as a reference for diaper rash and fevers to the color of babies poop (yes a captivating topic for new or experienced parents, and grand parents alike)!! A must have! And it address topics from Pregnancy, Birth, Baby thru adolescents topics for Age 5 and up thru the teeenage years....a must have and at 1:00am it's real peace of mind!

There is wonderful advice as well about buying items that "grow with baby." And if you are considering getting one of those great "Travel System" strollers where baby sits in the carrier and is "clicked" into the car seat or into the stroller without leaving the carrier - yeah, READ SPOCK! I never thought of it as other then a convenient system, until I read Spock who wrote: "It's a great way to never have to touch your baby...." Definitely food for thought.

Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

- by Mayo Clinic
This is for you and Daddy. It's all about what's happening to mom, and baby, during pregnancy. The book is laid out into section a few pages each for symptoms and changes in the first few, and then by month. What to expect and how you will feel from the variety of changes in your emotions, body changes and physical symptoms. It also has a list at the end of each months section of symptoms you may have, for example spotting or cramps, when to wait 24-hours to call your doctor, when to call immediatly and what can wait until the next visit! Great guide to keep your sanity during pregnancy. It also has chapters on delivery options, mom and babies after care and the continuing changes in your emotions, and some brief topics on baby care.

This book is far less "scary" then some of the other popular books about the months during pregnancy.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

- by Tracy Hogg

AND

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

- by Tracy Hogg

This book series is wonderful! Another quick reference guide style book - a quick read on a multitude of topics for help and how to care for your new born baby. But the unique approach in this series of books is helping us moms understand "what type of mom" we are - so we can better cope with our baby. Daily structures and routines are not only the way to keep baby happy but help keep mom sane too. There's also the introduction to "what type of baby" you may have....I was a non-believer until I took the quick quiz. Understanding your babies tempermant will help you select the right type of care for baby.  

Amazon book review: "...whether you're a "planner" or a "winger," and what level of daily structure you are likely to find helpful. In the same chapter, she identifies five general temperaments of infants, how to get an accurate feel for yours, and what methods of care are likely to be the most effective for his temperament 

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers - by Tracy Hogg

As baby gets bigger (age 18 months and up). This is a quick read and reference guide to preventnig tantrums, eating and fussiness, potty training, outings, understanding who is your baby/toddler, parenting is about routines and of course keeping dad involved. I still reference this book for my sons (now age 5 "Angel" and a re-read for the "Spirited" 2-year old)! I love this for transitioning to when baby starts to walk and the next phase of parenting...

What I wish tho is that I read this book in the first year - BEFORE 18 months. Early on with my first son, I would get TOTALLY stressed if he was off his "routines" (I hadnt read the Baby Whisperer part I yet!). I didn't learn until after I read the "Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" when he was age 2 that it's OK if once in a while we are off routine (like taking a late nap, or missing a feeding). The book offers wonderful advice and peace of mind for us "schedule" or "routine" driven moms'. I would have Saved myself some stress (ok, a lot of stress ;-)  

Baby Signs
-  Linda acredolo and Susan Goldwyn PHDs
If you are "on the fence" about Baby-Signing (or have never heard of the subject) then this is a book worth thumbing thru! I am a huge believer in Baby Signs. It's awesome when baby is 10 or 12 months (usually only saying mama and dada) and they can SHOW you they are thirsty, hungry or want a new diaper - talk about preventing tantrums. SOme babies can sign even sooner, and some learn to sign even later. But if this blog was about keeping your sanity as a mom....then I would ONLY reference this book!!!

I have hung out at play groups and personally witnessed a difference with my kids because they can communicate with me BEFORE they could talk. I still reference this book - often actually. Like today we are going to the acquarium and needed a refresher on the sign for fish, frog and snake... :-) Also, from an educational view point the authors site studies that show babies who "sign" have a higher IQ in their later early education years. The study in the book details how the brain is making the basic building block connections for words.

Think about it - how hard it is to say CAR after only being able, as a baby, to drool, coo, and maybe say "Ah!" To have your non-verbal baby / toddler be able to show you "thirsty" instead of screaming for their cup! Comeon mom's, need I say more?

But for me it's the sanity of communicating with baby BEFORE baby can talk.



For the Dad:

The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second Edition 
- by Armin A. Brott

When I would lay in bed and read my once a month chapter from the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, my husband would read his version of the book - A Guys understanding of pregnancy!! "Fabulous, Awesome, and Really Helpful" says the dad to be...


Happy reading, and enjoy this special time!