When you talk to your kids, what can you talk about? A list of Questions to Keep and Use

Talk to your kids, that's all we hear. My classic go to line instead of how was school is "did an alien visit your class today?" I always get a giggle and it leads to "no, but what did happen was...." I still ask this questions 10 years into parenting - -

I found these questions not long ago. It was actually from a dating article on how to get to know your partner better. I love these questions on getting to know someone better. Even when it comes to my kids. Talk about getting their perspective. And getting to know them on a deeper level. Or event my own partner. My husband and I discussed a few of these one night. And it was nice, pure fun.

"Did an alien visit your class today?" 

Get ready to open a new new perspective on your kids. The answer I heard were pretty awesome. The first time I sat with older son he asked me one Question and I asked him one. However when I took younger son out for "mommy and me" breakfast he loved these questions - and we went thru the whole list!! 

• What do you like to dream about?
• What is your best memory this school year?
• Who is your hero? Why?
• How would you describe your family?
• If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
• What are you most proud of yourself for?
• Who is the kindest person you know? Why?
• What do you like most about your best friend?
• What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?
• If you were an animal what one would you be and why?
• When is the last time someone hurt your feelings? How did you react?
• Do you know someone who is going though a hard time? How can you help them?
• What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
• If you could keep only one thing, out of everything you have, what would it be?
• Who do you think is really successful? Why?
• What's the best thing about your teacher this year?
• When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
• What three words best describe you?
• What's something that makes you angry?
• What's the best compliment you ever received?

Charlie Brown on Exhibit at the Peggy Notebart
Nature Museum, Nature Based Excerpts. Sometimes my conversation
with the kids goes the same route...

Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud. and Ask Lotsa Questions!

Baby Girls Birth and Older Sons Questions over the Phone

Older son was at my Babcia's house when I called him to announce the birth of our baby girl. We knew when she was coming. That morning mom and dad went to the hospital early and his Tia took him to school. After class aunt picked him up and walked him over to grandmas. 

He usually doesn't like talking on the phone. He is 7 years old. The enthusiasm I experienced from talking to him was so wonderful.

Here were his questions that mom had the pleasure of answering:
From the boy who doesn't like talking over the phone:...

How is the baby?

Can u take a picture of her and bring it home for me to see?

Can we print a picture for my 1st grade teacher cause she wants to see her for sure (with emphasis)!

What did she eat? "Mom's milk" I said, and he asked: "well when can she eat a banana?"

When can I meet her?

Mom - you know that song, (mumble/hum and sings) "My baby is one day old,' [Five Days Old from Laurie Berkner cd] 'mom you can sing it to her... No sing her mama's don't let ur babies grow upto be cowboys..."

Mom: "I think you should sing her all of those" - son said OK

Ok bye mom - the whole phone call was crazy happy!!

Welcome to our lives Baby Girl! 

Make mistake, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Terminal Illness... Questions for the Doctor

When a family or friend has a serious or terminal illness it can be a scary time. I like to research lots of opinions, learn what questions to ask, and gain perspectives. So then I can write down My Own questions for the doctor.

Many doctors won't disclose more then basic information unless you ASK specific questions.

When our beloved aunt was being treated with high doses of Morphine we realized her pain level must be tremendous!! The doctors kept using the term "Advanced Cancer," yet kept telling her/us keep fighting and keep hope alive.

When her husband (who had a limited education) asked questions, he asked about what he understood - time. All he could understand regarding cancer was ..."how long does she have to live?" the doctors would say "I'm not God, we don't know that answer." We only felt this was difficult, frustrated and worried.

We called a meeting with the doctor and he met with the family after his rounds at the hospital.

Know that if you ask detailed questions the doctor will offer you more information. Be open minded and considerate of the doctor. Be prepared to hear the unexpected. And know considering risks and benefits of treatments may be a relief or may make you feel more stressed.

Here's what we asked:

How well did the last treatment work?
Did the cancer respond to treatment?

What is the current treatment plan? What are the goals?
What are the realistic benefits and risks?
-relieve symptoms, shrink the cancer, control the spread? or live longer?

Is the bowel obstruction reversible?
Are there surgery or stent options? Or gastrostomy tube?

With the naso tube is some type of venting a next step?
What are the Risks and benefits?

What do you mean by advanced cancer?

Is it treatable? Is it curable?

Is remission possible?

Is she terminal?

Is it time to consider hospice care?

What are the benefits or intervention and further treatment at this time?

These questions help you gain additional information to help you make informed decisions for you and yours.

What to ask at Parent Teacher Conference

Ever wonder what to talk about at Parent Teacher Conferences. Especially discussion that is beyond the standard "how is s/he doing in class?" After doing some homework of my own, here are two questions that will easily get you a better answer then the standard  "s/he's doing well."


Two Questions to ask your child/ren's teachers at Parent-Teacher Conferences:

1. What will my son/daughter learn by the end of the school year?

2. What should we be working on at home?
Details about these questions are below.


Couple of tips for a successful Parent Teacher Conference.

1. Listen! This is the hardest one. As parents we are often overflowing with pride (or hiding under the desk) after what we hear from the teacher about our children. This is the Teachers time to TELL YOU about what happens with your child in THEIR classroom. I understand you might hear things you do not like. But try not to instantly "defend" your kid - or make excuses. First really try to see things from the teachers perspective. (Dont stop reading until you see Step 3.)

2. Acknowledge that you heard what the teacher said. This doesn't mean you agree. It just means you understand their concern/point.
- (If necessary) Tell the teacher you will discuss this topic with your child at home, then you can ask if you can set up a separate Conference at a later date if you still need to talk about your/their concerns later.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


3. Try to be open and understanding. Stand out from the rest of the parents and don't be defensive about your child. Sometimes (surprisingly) our children act differently in the classroom. Regardless of why, my normally polite and outgoing child was relatively quiet (and rude) in class. Which can positive and negative, but how will I know if I don't listen to the teacher and try to understand.

4. Say Thank You to the Teacher. This teacher spends a lot of time with your child, and is hopefully addressing your kids needs. Depending on school before care and after care, teachers spend anywhere from a typical 7 hour school day with our babies to a whopping 10 hours... Say thanks - it can't hurt.

5. The teacher is nervous too (maybe). Even the most veteran teacher gets butterflies at parent teacher conferences. Every year its a new group of parents, a new batch of kids. So remember, you and the teacher might feel the same way. And you are there for the same reason, your little one.

These questions are suitable to ask not only the Lead teacher but also the specials teachers, including art, music, etc. Schools don't always habe a sign-up time with these additional yet equally important group, therefore seek them out. (Emails a great way to set up times in advance.)

Where should my child be in his school work at the end of the year?

Some answers you are looking for will include the major goals for the class by the end of the year. In Kindergarten, perhaps they should be able to write their first and last name legibly or have memorized 150 sight words. In 3rd grade teachers may look for essay writing skills or memorized the Multiplication table 0 thru 12. Many "goals" and things that our kids are learning are based on State standards (which is addressed briefly below). Obviously as schools integrate the 2010 Common Core legislation, those standards take precedence.

Be prepared to get a wide array of answers too. Some teachers may pull out the "guidelines" for the class showing you exactly what the kids learn week to week. My sons Spanish teacher showed me her lesson chart showing colors and numbers will be learned in the next two weeks and learning about animals in the upcoming month. She also reviewed the objective of the class (for our school it was) "exposure to a second language and not fluency."

Other teachers may simply answer with "here's what we a working on now (counting money or journaling) and by the end of the year "he should be able to write his first and last name legibly."


State Standards and Classroom Objectives

Most states have "state standards" which are the minimum in learning goals and objectives children need to have gained in their grade for that school year. These goals are organized by daily lessons, weeks, quarters, and through the end of the school year.  Your individual school, public, private, charter or otherwise will have additional standards to meet in their schools mission and vision. For example, a vocational school will have labor related tasks and concepts the students need to learn, where a catholic school has additional religious concepts the students learn.


What should we be working on at home? Or what can I do after school to help reinforce what's being taught at school?

This question serves a two fold purpose. First: it shows the teacher that you are interested and responsible in aiding in your Childs education. Homework (and after school study time) is critical to build healthy study habits and to reinforce / review what was learned at school during the day. (Homework however, in the Primary years, is not for learning new ideas. See this blog post where re-teaching math at home WAS WORKING, when it shouldn't have.) Secondly, this question helps to make sure the parent and teacher are "on the same page" regarding what work should be done at home.


It takes a village.... And It Looks Like Pieces of a Pie

Look, we all know that it takes a village to raise a child. I always explain my children's learning for me equates to how you view slices of a pie to equal a whole. A whole pie has many slices: one for what is learned in school, one for what we learn on the playground, one for home learning (which includes manners, self care, and reinforcing school learning at home). Other pie slices are other family members time and what kids learn (with grandparents, aunts, uncles), time with friends/outside/park, vacations and leisure time (yes, kids are always learning), and the "accidental learning" or teachable moments. Of course there's more then this simplicity to teaching and learning, and them add that we are also raising a child. Talking to their teachers is another piece of your child's learning pie - everyone plays a part in the schooling of our children - including you.

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and  Laugh.Out.Loud