Two Questions to ask your child/ren's teachers at Parent-Teacher Conferences:
1. What will my son/daughter learn by the end of the school year?
2. What should we be working on at home?
Details about these questions are below.
Couple of tips for a successful Parent Teacher Conference.
1. Listen! This is the hardest one. As parents we are often overflowing with pride (or hiding under the desk) after what we hear from the teacher about our children. This is the Teachers time to TELL YOU about what happens with your child in THEIR classroom. I understand you might hear things you do not like. But try not to instantly "defend" your kid - or make excuses. First really try to see things from the teachers perspective. (Dont stop reading until you see Step 3.)
2. Acknowledge that you heard what the teacher said. This doesn't mean you agree. It just means you understand their concern/point.
- (If necessary) Tell the teacher you will discuss this topic with your child at home, then you can ask if you can set up a separate Conference at a later date if you still need to talk about your/their concerns later.
If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.
3. Try to be open and understanding. Stand out from the rest of the parents and don't be defensive about your child. Sometimes (surprisingly) our children act differently in the classroom. Regardless of why, my normally polite and outgoing child was relatively quiet (and rude) in class. Which can positive and negative, but how will I know if I don't listen to the teacher and try to understand.
4. Say Thank You to the Teacher. This teacher spends a lot of time with your child, and is hopefully addressing your kids needs. Depending on school before care and after care, teachers spend anywhere from a typical 7 hour school day with our babies to a whopping 10 hours... Say thanks - it can't hurt.
5. The teacher is nervous too (maybe). Even the most veteran teacher gets butterflies at parent teacher conferences. Every year its a new group of parents, a new batch of kids. So remember, you and the teacher might feel the same way. And you are there for the same reason, your little one.
These questions are suitable to ask not only the Lead teacher but also the specials teachers, including art, music, etc. Schools don't always habe a sign-up time with these additional yet equally important group, therefore seek them out. (Emails a great way to set up times in advance.)
Where should my child be in his school work at the end of the year?
Some answers you are looking for will include the major goals for the class by the end of the year. In Kindergarten, perhaps they should be able to write their first and last name legibly or have memorized 150 sight words. In 3rd grade teachers may look for essay writing skills or memorized the Multiplication table 0 thru 12. Many "goals" and things that our kids are learning are based on State standards (which is addressed briefly below). Obviously as schools integrate the 2010 Common Core legislation, those standards take precedence.
Be prepared to get a wide array of answers too. Some teachers may pull out the "guidelines" for the class showing you exactly what the kids learn week to week. My sons Spanish teacher showed me her lesson chart showing colors and numbers will be learned in the next two weeks and learning about animals in the upcoming month. She also reviewed the objective of the class (for our school it was) "exposure to a second language and not fluency."
Other teachers may simply answer with "here's what we a working on now (counting money or journaling) and by the end of the year "he should be able to write his first and last name legibly."
State Standards and Classroom Objectives
Most states have "state standards" which are the minimum in learning goals and objectives children need to have gained in their grade for that school year. These goals are organized by daily lessons, weeks, quarters, and through the end of the school year. Your individual school, public, private, charter or otherwise will have additional standards to meet in their schools mission and vision. For example, a vocational school will have labor related tasks and concepts the students need to learn, where a catholic school has additional religious concepts the students learn.
What should we be working on at home? Or what can I do after school to help reinforce what's being taught at school?
This question serves a two fold purpose. First: it shows the teacher that you are interested and responsible in aiding in your Childs education. Homework (and after school study time) is critical to build healthy study habits and to reinforce / review what was learned at school during the day. (Homework however, in the Primary years, is not for learning new ideas. See this blog post where re-teaching math at home WAS WORKING, when it shouldn't have.) Secondly, this question helps to make sure the parent and teacher are "on the same page" regarding what work should be done at home.
It takes a village.... And It Looks Like Pieces of a Pie
Look, we all know that it takes a village to raise a child. I always explain my children's learning for me equates to how you view slices of a pie to equal a whole. A whole pie has many slices: one for what is learned in school, one for what we learn on the playground, one for home learning (which includes manners, self care, and reinforcing school learning at home). Other pie slices are other family members time and what kids learn (with grandparents, aunts, uncles), time with friends/outside/park, vacations and leisure time (yes, kids are always learning), and the "accidental learning" or teachable moments. Of course there's more then this simplicity to teaching and learning, and them add that we are also raising a child. Talking to their teachers is another piece of your child's learning pie - everyone plays a part in the schooling of our children - including you.
Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud
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