Showing posts with label wing spouse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wing spouse. Show all posts

Monday, August 3, 2015

Poem: Husbands Love; "You have given me wings"

Husband's Love

Today you told me you loved me so much,
That you don't even know,
You couldn't place why that was,
But a few ideas you wanted to show:
What a good job I've done with the boys, or maybe tending to you?
As for the house cleaning, not so much,
But we agree it's kept tidy too.

We laugh, often and sometimes hard,
It can even lead to tears,
And if we're feeling somewhat jarred,
other times we share our deepest fears.
But today, you realized what it is, 
that feeling that brings you Close to me,
It's not the kids, house or jokes,
it's just letting you be free! 


The story behind the poem:

I had supported my husband through college as his "editor" on his various papers. This continued into his first and second jobs in administration. Then I supported him when he joined a principal training program and was gone 5 times over the course of a year to visit other school districts nationwide. 

He said one night I had "given him his wings" to be free to pursue his career. And I was happy to help.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Thursday, September 11, 2014

When School Homework is Frustrating... why do it at all?

What is homework for? Is it just there to torture us parents? And our kids. Homework - as my Principal husband reiterated with me every year - is about building study habits. As a secondary element, it's supposed to reinforce what was learned in class that day. I totally understand the idea of building a study habit, because the kids that go to really great high schools don't whine and complain about homework. They also have already built the habit of school books and working at home in elementary school, so when homework is reading in preparation for the next days lesson, kids have the habit of actually doing the reading. (Not like me in high school, winging it from in class notes and not doing the reading.) So I've asked myself is elementary school homework all preparation for High School and college?
I don't always agree with my highly trained hubby. He is brilliant in his work. And he advocates for the children All.The.Time! However, as I am living the parent side of the experience. And I am opinionated, we will often discuss things at home. Poor guy!

We discussed which school to send older son too when contemplating Kindergarten. Private catholic school, CPS, or a gift school? Even homeschooling?  Ultimately, regardless of our pick of which school to attend, our conclusion was:

1. We can't replace the 7 hours of the day at school and rehash the day's learning at home in the evening. Therefore, we need to pick a school with solid teaching during those 7 hours.

2. Schools cannot possibly teach EVERYTHING. Some topics are broad strokes, covering the "big picture." Some concepts will get a "drill down" for a deeper understanding on concepts. But No Matter What the learning during the day - broad or in depth - we will have to supplement at home. Period. 

3. A lot of time at school is "eaten up" by routines to just get to what we need to learn. Taking 25-30 kids to the bathroom takes 15-20 minutes (by the time they line up and settle back down in class). So should the actual 5 ish hours of learning be done at home? Homeschooling isn't the answer for us either. I cannot replace a veteran teachers knowledge, nor a new teachers enthusiasm. I'm clever, but I'm not a mathematician who's arguably taught these lessons many, many times, developing an expertise.  And for us we recognize the social needs being addressed too. You'll see next how kindergarteners learn to listen, follow instructions, and ultimately grow on in grades to be good citizens. School is necessary.... But I can supplement at home.

So no matter what school we chose, I have a job at home. . . And I can attest this is true for Private and Public school!

When School Homework Gets it Wrong by areyousureaboutthatblog
When School Homework Gets it Wrong, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

As Charlotte Mason fans will attest, conducting a "study" of subjects is truly in-depth learning. Sometimes I feel our education system just scratches the surface of ideas. So my job has become to build on school topics, making my kids understanding of things richer and deeper. Supplementing with art projects, redoing a science experiment, borrowing library books, and going to museums to SEE and touch the dinosaurs, taxidermy animals in their habit, getting actual size perspective, etc.

That's where Homework plays a critical role for me as a parent. I can see daily, what they study, and the work they bring home, which helps me build my bridge to supplementing. I also needed to learn through the years, in addition to WHAT their learning at school (where I think most of us parents stop school thinking at) to really grasping HOW the kids are learning!!! And regardless if you do more work at home, WHAT and HOW kids learn is imperative to their success. And it's a great conversation for helping your kids at Parent Teacher conferences!!! See my 2 questions to ask at Parent Teacher conferences for more school learning tips.

HOW kids learn & What they learn by Grade - An Outline

Taking the information I've learned from my Principal husband, and my own obsessive reading of education publications, articles reviewing education studies, and witnessing education in action with my own kids, I've observed various school objectives. In the primary grades K-2, kids are "learning to learn," and I've blogged about that concept before. In Kindergarten kids are learning to pay attention to the teacher, following instructions. Classroom expectations (timeliness, tardiness, quiet time versus a louder interaction) and behaviour is learned as is handling differences with students. Then there's starting the basics of learning to write (recognizing letters, matching upper and lower case, understanding words are made up of letters, then letter formation, and so on), holding crayons, coloring with "lots if color and lots of detail," and coloring in the whole circle all the way to the line. Letters, and writing are the steps to "Learning to Read." Phonics and letter sounds start here, identifying pictures and the words that relate to them, and sight words starts here and continue through 3rd grade.

These coloring to the line builds to a concept of writing in 1st and 2nd grade, to write letters on dotted line starter sheets, that all touch the ground, and the uppercase "L" touches the SKY, and the lowercase "n" touches the fence. These years there also "learning to learn" math. That your not just reciting numbers, but Math is always counting something. Counting on fingers, number lines, marbles, blocks, and other support tools. Later in the year kids group blocks to SHOW 2 blocks + 2 blocks = 4 blocks.

By 3rd grade the basic Addition Math Facts should be nearly memorized 1 through 10. 1+0, 1+1, 1+2, 1+3,...2+0, 2+1, 2+2, 2+3,...all the way through 10+0, 10+1, 10+2, 10+3,...to 10+10. And there strategies for learning starting with "rules" like anything +0 is always the other number itself, for example 1+0=1, and 1,435+0 =1,435. I always wrote down the numbers in addition to reinforce verbally talking about it. Kids need to SEE and HEAR what the rules are. Then we learn doubles, an memorize them: 0+0=0, 1+1=2, 2+2=4, 3+3=6, etc. Once my son memorized the first group to get them right 7 or 8 out of 10 times asked, we moved on to the next set of 3 or 4 doubles mixing in the first group. This took about 3 months of work.

By 3rd grade kids are "Reading to Learn." But we cannot arrive at reading books to learn concepts with out the first two learning levels: learning How To learn, learning How To read. If you knew these concepts before today - your are an awesome parent. If you didn't, now you do, we parents are learning to learn to! Along with our kids - were learning HOW and WHAT they learn to help them along the way.

Homework, What's It For?

However, study's show that homework habits truly don't start until just before the middle school years. And to adopt progressive education and accept what studies have found this year the CPS Elementary School Alexander Hamilton has done away with homework for Kindergarten through 3rd grade, with plans to expand through 5th grade next year. I applaud this Principal for taking action. And we will see how this test case works out... time will tell the benefit of this behaviour. [In our home we would still read 15 minutes every day. Craft and play outside. No homework WOULD NOT be replaced by T.V. and iPads!]

Where does that leave me? If homework holds little value for my now 4th grader older son, yet carries weight on his grade, what to do?

-- First, we use it as "our time". He can add in details of his sharing his day, which the homework triggers memories from earlier in school day.

-- It IS habit building. So I add it to "it's YOUR Responsibility list" of his things to do at home. He has to do it, or his grade will suffer. And in life, I tell the kids, sometimes you don't have a choice of WHAT you can do, but you CAN choose your attitude, and if you do it well.

-- I also use it to build his self worth and pride. If the worksheets "wrong" he has the choice of erasing and doing it again, or getting the "F" - yes really, he makes that choice. I can't force my kid to love school, but we can teach them to be passionate about their QUALITY of work.

-- I can see if he learned that days topic at school and if he "gets" the subject being learned. If yes, we reinforce it a little. If he's struggling, like in multiplication in 3rd grade, we supplemented with math board games, online games like IExcel websites, dice games, etc. Then I'd "enrich his learning" by showing real life math examples - always - when he's just learning / struggling / or mastered a subject. I have $1.00, how many $0.39 cent apples can I buy to bake our apple pie this weekend? I need 4 pears for poached pear dessert, and there $1.00 each. How much are they (multiplication)? I have $5.00, when I pay for the pears, Not including tax, what is my change (subtraction)? (Math becomes Sociology / Economics conversation follows with "Mom, what's tax?" ... Supplementing continues in conversation and throughout our experiences together.)

Sometimes schools aren't 100% spot on, and in life what is 100% accurate? I'm Type A, and extremely detailed admittedly at about 93%. We work with what we have, and do our best to turn learnings, homework and the pain of it all, into lessons and life skills.

Much more on my switch to enrichment and Charlotte Mason like supplementing through Nature Study, Art Study and more in depth learning to follow over the next few months.

Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Friday, June 6, 2014

When School and Home ideas dont match, What is a mom supposed to do? Our Parent Job and Homework

My 8-year old son brought home a 3rd grade Math Worksheet. Questions about "prediction: will happen / won't happen / maybe, but I'm not sure." We check homework before returning sheets to school.

I run my house with some rules. We have etiquette rules posted, and then we have some everyday rules. For example, school age children don't watch TV during the school week. (Ever! And our kids are ok with that.) In our house TV is only allowed on weekends. 

As for the homework sheet on Likely and unlikely events,... my son selected "Sure to happen" on "¿Will you watch TV on Saturday?" I agreed.

On "¿Will you travel to the moon?" he originally answered "surely not to happen." We've talked about it before, so I reminded him of the "Mars One 2024 project" to inhabit Mars (we've discussed this often).

When School and Home ideas don't match, What's a mom to do? by areyousureaboutthatblog


Older Son: "but Mom, there's no oxygen on Mars."

Mom: "yes, and the space explorers will create there own atmosphere. But the plan is NOT for them to return to earth either."

He pondered that thought. "Ever?"

Mom: "Never, AND as for human-space travel, we will have an excursion air-travel service to the earth's outer limits called "Zero Gravity" for $150,000 per person by 2015 (Virgin Atlantic Airlines)."

He reconsidered his answer to "maybe, but not sure." Both those answers, disappointingly, were marked wrong by the Substitute...!

My shock and horror!  (Which I kept to myself.) If you read this blog you know we are naturalists at heart and scientist in mind. We discuss facts, make deductions and apply our learnings everyday. making links to other ideas, etc., etc., etc., so I was disappointed at the narrow sightedness here.



When he came home concerned about his low grade... I needed to give home some answer why home and school answers sometimes don't match. And in this case are very different. Sometimes we have more information at home, or our deductive reasoning applied so early in the kids young lives. The substitute teacher doesn't know about our rules. But he's young, and it's too soon to jump into the education debate for him.

So I went the easy route:

Mom: "Sometimes we will have different information at home. As long as you made a logical choice, getting something wrong is ok."

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud
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