Talking through School Projects. Getting it done Before We Start Working

When my kids come home with the project from school, we talk about it and talk about it and talk about it. Often long before it's due. We talk about the aspects of the project, making sure that they fully understand what to do. How much time each task will take. And then we start to brainstorm on ideas. We start to talk about what they would like to write about then what mom or dad would like to write about and sometimes they'll even ask their brothers and sisters what they think.

"We talk about it, and talk about it, and talk about it.." over and over again.

Talking through School Projects. Getting it done Before We Start Working

A lot of this parenting thing, turns out, it conversation. And luckily we have a lot of time in the car to talk and talk and talk. We found the creative thinking and problem-solving is becoming an issue more and more with kids in the schools. We find that children have a hard time coming up with WHAT to write about when they have a free-form essay. Not our kids though. And I really think that this process is a big part of the reason why they do so well. We encourage them to come up with three totally different ideas for a paper and it takes 48 to 72 hours to do that, we're fine with it. We except the craziest ideas, the funniest ideas, and the stupidest ideas.

"To create a love of learning you have to create a love of the process."

Obviously as parents we will steer them away from using the stupid topics for a school paper. (Is there a stupid topic? See the update below.) But if they want to write a separate essay for mom and dad they can do it on the silly subjects, and yes they do sometimes. And we get a good little giggle To create a love of learning you have to create a love of the process. And just like we adults will come across a problem and talk about it with our friends for days on end, children to need to process their work in their little brains for a few days or hours ahead of time if they have that time before project is due.

Recently my younger son's first grade teacher sent out an email asking about his first computer based projects. He will be presenting to the class on different types of rock. I let her know that our process is talking about the project for at least a day or so, and he too felt very very happy to let her know that he thought about his project for a day. And then he came home and gave me three or four totally separate ideas of what he wants to include in his project. All because we talked about it. This from a six-year-old.

Favorite Post: When the teacher said we wouldn't be in outer space in my sons lifetime

We are using everyone of his ideas, from what type of paper to use, we are to show real pieces of rock that we have at home (see our rock collection post), and we will print out some online. He wants to print the words in all different colors (having worked in marketing I know that that will not look the best, but it's HIS project). But this is about his learning process.

Allow time in the learning process. Allow kids to make mistakes, type super slow, and cut outside the lines. This is how they learn.

Update: Is there a stupid topic for a school project? 

Of course I THINK there is. But I have learned thru the years to let the boys pick their own topics. They have to make mistakes so the can learn for themselves what works and what does not. I can explain over and over but if they experience it for themselves, that is a lesson that will remain with them in the long run.

I have learned to ask teacher for rubrics. To review with the boys WHT the teachers grade on, giving them specifics for their project. And in this process if the subject they selected doesn't fit the rubric, we may need  a new one. But usually the boys create and think thru ways to get it done. And there is so much to be said for them going thru this self discovery and creativity process.




Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Do Not Hit back, Our BIG BOY VOICE Bully Strategy, for the early Primary Years

When my oldest son was a kindergartener some of the older kids were teasing him, almost bullying. They wouldn't let him "be darth maul when playing star wars" or similar scenarios. They would tease him, or tell him his drawings or activities weren't nice. And it was something mean everyday.

Right away my husband said when situations would arise, or if a boy pushed my son, "hit them." I'd rather we be a not hitting household, unless our kids are hit first. And yes my husband was kidding (until they hit High School right?) So when the picking on our son turned to pushing, physically pushing at recess, we knew we needed to empower our 5 year old son.

Our "don't hit 'big boy voice' bully strategy."

Yes, we spoke with the teacher, but teachers cannot be everywhere all the time. And room moms are mostly on the recess lot. In life my son will need to know how to stand up for himself. So after we tried the teacher route, this strategy evolved.

Handling Kids who push, hit, and bully in the early years...

1. Husband said tell them to stop..."Don't do that to me" Clearly, telling the kids what to do is important. But my son wasn't understanding his cute kindergarten voice didn't cut it.

2. I thought of the "use your big boy voice" when telling anything to the kids that tease.  This made a big difference. Our son physically would change his posture and felt empowered in not only with his words but his voice as well. But one kid, the oldest, wasn't stopping, and we struggled with a way to allow our son to handle it. Yes, he can tell an adult, but as he ages he will need to know what to do himself!

We practiced what a "big boy voice" is... many times, with mom and dad and grandma. Practice helps when it is time to actually DO.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


3. My mom said (Baba Babcia Ula) to help get the kids attention, our son should "touch the kids arm."  Brilliant. This allowed for a sense of intimidation without hitting. Yes, it took courage from our son to get that close to the kid too.

Touch has a very powerful effect. Imagine as an adult when someone touches your arm. You notice the touch. You pay closer attention to the person touching you as a side effect or the touch.  They are also "in your personal 4 foot space" and you will notice them for being so close too.

Eventually a situation came up, and my son said he "knew what he had to do." It worked - one day at recess, when the boy was mean, our son just walked up, put his hand on his forearm, and in a firm, not yelling voice said "Don't do that to me!" and walked away. Instantly, they stopped being mean to him. Granted he didn't always get to play the character he wanted, but the "meanness" from the other boys stopped.

It never happened again!

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud!

ONE YEAR LATER
Post Script: One year later, in the first week of First Grade, on his own my son remembered this strategy. Some kid shoved him while playing tag. He used this strategy and firmly held the boys arm and yelled "DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!" and the boy stared in amazement. A classmate said: "I was gonna tell, but you made him cry." After the pusher stopped crying, my son went to the pusher and said - we can still play, so they continued playing, all 3 of the boys.