I Don't Wanna do Chores! And I Didn't Have Time to Play Today

I Don't Wanna do Chores! And I Didn't Have Time to Play Today, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I Don't Wanna do Chores! And I Didn't Have Time to Play Today, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

This is our quick reminder of how long the day is and exactly how much time 8 year old Older Son DID play today!!

Read more here: Areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com

I wrote the example entry, and he continued writing how time was spent one Snowy Saturday. Suddenly we realized he had 5 hours of free time!!! After The next chore instruction I heard "yes Mom!"

A toddlers job is to explore... And drive you nuts!!

Repetition & Not getting mad. It's been my (in)sanity using these strategies in the toddler years... And my 10 month old baby girl is putting my to the test! But these strategies - which I've pieced together through the last 7 years - have really help me and husband stay sane.

You should only say something once right? Well think about the adults in your life. I am sure you can name a few who don’t hear things that you say the first time. Or the second. Sometimes we need to say things many times, and try to say it different ways. Well that’s the same with baby.

First, KNOW that Toddlers will get into things. Your cake batter that you left on the counter “just for a second,” your basket of nicely folded cloths on the floor, or the electrical outlet that's got those cool slots - ugh. A toddlers job is to explore the world. That is how kids learn. So realize that you may have to say "no" many, many, many, times before your toddler or kid figures it out – “oh, I am not supposed to do that.” And yes, that it natures way of learning. So just hold on, you kids will learn…..slowly.

Redirect. This is a great strategy. When babies are crawling to walking, you take what ever they pick up away and say “thank you.” Then take baby to a new toy or book, away from the unwanted area and redirect them to doing something new.

Sometimes when I hear Husband in another room falling into old bad habits, like saying no too much, or hear his frustration, I'll say "redirect." And he does, with a toy or a task, and it's another crisis averted (usually).

“Break the Cycle” A comment on Hitting. There is a difference between discipline and “hitting.” Many of us were spanked or hit as kids and we think its OK to hit our kids now. Well. I disagree. In order to make progress we need to change the way things are done sometimes. When you hit a child you do get an immediate response, they stop what ever they were doing “wrong.” But the long term damage, yes damage, is terrible. Kids have low self esteem, are more violent themselves, and don’t learn coping skills. Yes it is tiring to explain all the time, or redirect 10 times or say "no" many, many, many times. But parenting takes time.

So, the next time you are disciplining your child, try to redirect. And keep trying alternative ways to discipline. Remember, just like it takes many, many, many times to change babies behavior. It takes time to change your behavior too! A psychology professor told me once, “If it takes 25 years to create a habit, it will take nearly half as long to change it. “

Testing You. Babies, Kids and Toddlers are testing you. They are always trying to see how far they can push boundaries and the rules to get what they want. Anything from crying a little longer to pulling that lamp cord one more time. You PARENT, need to try to keep calm. Realize that your kids will not do these things when they are 18 years old, compared to 18 months old. And it is babies job to test you. This is how kids learn. And I know it just wears away at your nerves, but here are a few ways to cope.

Be consistent. That means no means no. You can’t say we are leaving right now,…and then let your kid go down the slide 3 more times. I think you just need to be consistent. Starting at birth when you tell baby you are going to do something, so it. And not in 5 minutes. If you say “no,” just stick to it. And yes, its hard to stick to it. They will cry but that’s when you “redirect” and offer a cookie or talk about where you are headed next. This strategy will only be necessary for 1-2 years until they learn “hey, mom said no, that’s it.”

Quick Story #1: Even when he was in the womb, kicking or moving around, I would say “Hi Peanut.” Or “It’s okay peanut, get comfy,” or just “it’s okay, and rub my belly. When he was born he was crying at birth, I said “HI Peanut, it’s okay.” And kept talking, and he stopped crying. 9 months of comforting using the SAME WORDS over and over helped calm him down. After we came home, when he would cry, I would always go to him and say “it’s okay,” in a soft voice. Even before I picked him up. Then as baby got bigger and could sleep several hours at a time, I used the same tactic If it wasn’t time for a feeding but time to still sleep at night, I had him in a bassinet next to our bed, I would just say” it’s okay baby, mommy’s here.” And most of the time he was comforted by just hearing my voice. But that’s because I did this “it’s okay” all the time.

Quick Story #2: As a toddler we said thank you everytime he would pick something up that was a no-no. Thank you for my slippers. Thank you for the dog leash. Thank you for the bread that fell on the floor. Thank you for the chunk of dog hair. Thank you for my cup I left on the coffee table. Now I have a little helper at home. Older Son loves to hear thank you for clean up time, and thank you for draining the bath water. Thank you for baby signing lu-lu (sleep time). He still picks up cups form the coffee table and reaches up to drop them in the sink. Being consistent had an effect I didn’t expect! It was really cool too!

Quick Story #3: More great advice, get outside everyday with baby. Event if its just for a few minutes. This evolved into daily trips to the park or around the block for a walk. When we did go to the park and down the slide or in the swing, I always said “1, 2, 3, go” by 18 months, my son was saying 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. He also said 2, 3, go right before he would walk down stairs, run in the yard, or go down a slide alone. Children learn through repetition…so repeat, repeat, repeat and they will learn what you say. Obviously the opposite is true. We had friends who said “Oh S***” all the time. Then there daughter said it in her 2 year old way….

Just one more slide at the park.

The days are long, the years are short. 

Our House Rules: Concrete Rules that Teach Meaningful Values

We have house rules, as most homes do. I mean REAL RULES. I love the Pinterest posts about "Smile, Love, Respect Others, etc." These are fun and decorative ideas. But for our home I wanted concrete rules that teach meaningful values. And as we moms know, rules help provide structure and routine to a kids day - which helps them thrive. They learn what the expectations for their behavior are which helps prevent a whole range of tantrums, problems and meltdowns! Children learn their boundaries and hopefully translate them into lifelong values in the process of following the rules.

Put things where they belong, hang up your own coat, wash your hands before dinner, etc. There are times I think its necessary to repeat yourself and the rules often, like when we return home from school and I announce "shoes and coats where they belong!" But other rules should become part of the grain of the home, and what better way then to post those rules for every one to see.

When my oldest son asks, but why do I have to wash my hands I explain that we collect germs all day long. But after a few reminders he can remind himself when I catch him reading the rules :-)

Here's our families house rules modified from an excellent book (slightly outdated) called "Simplify Your Life with Kids: 100 Ways to Make Family Life Easier and More Fun" by Elaine St. James. While some parts of the book are outdated referencing listening to a cassette recorder and the like, the concept of teaching children manners around answering the phone and limiting exposure to "tube time" technology.

I also have a post about our sock bags, to help keep our kids socks organized by owner, and not having sock sorting take over my life!

One final note: you'll notice that in the house rules I did NOT include our iPad / TV limits and plan, like no cartoons in the morning, and Friday movie night. Because these are more schedule related items in our home. Whenever we sit around the breakfast / dinner table and discuss "the plan" for the day, that where these items fall into play. And honestly, our routine is so engrained in the kids, that at THIS point in our family, they know that cartoons are for Saturday mornings.

our Family House Rules

Food and Kitchen

1.           When you use a dish, rinse it and put it in the dishwasher.

2.         When you take something out of the refrigerator, the cupboard, a drawer, or the toolbox, put it back where it belongs when you’re finished with it.

3.         When you create garbage or trash, dispose of it in the appropriate manner.

4.         Wipe off the counters after you have used them. Wipe up any spills or splashes you make.

5.         You can only eat in the kitchen, outside, or the living room on plastic and with a parents’ permission, Every other room is off limits!

6.         Wash your hands before dinner, no phones at the table, and help set up/clear up the table.

Being Polite

7.         Ask permission before you borrow something that doesn’t belong to you, or someone else is using. Return it in the same condition that you found it, if you break it fess up.

8.         Bathroom time is private time. Whatever you have to say can wait until the person comes out.

9.         Don’t yell across rooms, when you need to talk to someone go to where the person is and talk.

10.      Close – don’t slam – outside doors behind you as you come in/out of the house. This includes the pantry door, closet doors and cupboards.

11.       Turn off the lights, T.V., radio, or computer when you are not using them.

12.      Take off your shoes, coat, backpack, baseball cap/hat, scarves, and gloves as soon as you come into the house. Put them where they belong right away. Wear slippers too! Help others!

13.      Tiptoe around anyone who is sleeping. Never wake others up.

14.      DO NOT BOTHER ANYONE DOING HOMEWORK!

15.      Unless the house is on fire or someone is hurt, do not interrupt anyone on the phone.

16.      When adults are talking, wait your turn, do not interrupt someone who is talking. Stand next to that person, or say “excuse me” when they are finished with their sentence.

Be Courteous

17.      ALWAYS you your manners: say please, thank you, your welcome, na zdrowie, salute, etc.

18.      If you see someone needs help, offer your assistance. This way we can all leave the house on time, stay tidy, and support one another. The other person will appreciate it.

19.      If you need help with anything, ask for help! If someone asks you for help, help them!

20.    House rules apply to friends & guests that visit.

21.      Help younger family members with these rules; show them the right way so they can learn too!

 

Rev 10/14/11

 

 

"The days are long, the years are short"

I don't agree with "The Nanny" Jo Frost

Timeouts suck. Even when you explain to the kid what they did wrong - they still don't know! And sitting in a corner - bored out of their mind - doesn't teach them anything.

Yes we need to be consistent with our kids. Yes we need to be strict on the rules but LOVING on the implementation.

When my kids are naughty I follow
these rules.

Make eye contact.

Tell your child/ren in a calm firm voice what behavior/ thing they did that you didn't like. (THIS act of telling them they did something wrong IS this punishment. The kid feels shame that they disappointed you. They don't need a timeout to think about it because they wont stop thinking).


Ask them to try and do it differently next time. Maybe they tell you how they can change their behavior.

Send them on their way.

Often times my boys come back later that day or the next to talk again about the behavior and how we can be "our very best" Next time it happens.

No timeouts required.

My middle boy on a walk tonight pushed his sister down, after being asked not too do that exact behavior only moments prior. He stood there and cried. He knew he'd done something wrong. I simply asked what could we do better next time? "Not push my sister." Done. And it was over. There may or may not be a push in our future, but I do like not having to punish and allowing my kids the ability to self correct.

Alone Time: My Momism. When my kids need a break from eachother

There are days when maybe the weathers changing from sunny I rainy, or it's been a long day at school, or maybe one order of the kids is just in a cranky mood. Ill hear "mom I want alone time."

My oldest actually invented this strategy when our second son was about 2 years old. We wen from "mom he's bothering me," to "mom make him leave I want to be alone!!"

Sometimes Mom wants Alone Time Too...

I respected his wishes and the youngest would have to leave. Not always, but if a storm was brewing I would allow "alone time." And if the little one would scream I'd explain that his older brother wants his special "alone time" and YOU get alone time too. I'd try to have my happy voice and also say its his mommy time. So this plan worked well.

It's three years later and we've evolved to "alone time." Often after school the oldest will ask for it. And on the weekends, ironically it's the younger son who wants it. He aches for his brother all week, and then it's an overdose on the weekend.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

Yes, even mom asks for her alone time, in the bathroom, when I'm reading and when I think the kids need to be separated!!

It's a strategy that brought peace to our home.

Rules for Laundry, Folding Clothing and Responsibilities

My boys needed a little visual reminder on their responsabilities. Clothes was ending up on the floor or (my pet peeve) clean clothes in the laundry. Laundry meaning: Cause mom will just wash it an put it away for me.

So I quickly drafted and taped to their closet door the Clothing Rules and Kid Responsabilitles. My boys are 7 and 4 and YES they can handle this! Its follow the rules or mommy gets frustrated and yells. Which clearly they voted for the rules.

Clothing Rules:

- Put your PJ's on the bed when you change

1. Change after school

2. Uniform goes on your chair back

3. Play clothes

put in the laundry if they are dirty with spots or were worn outside ofthe house.

put them back in the drawers, folded, if we only used them indoors

4. Sox go in the dirty socks bag

**If you don;t know where clothes should go ask for help!*

Kid Responsabilities:

1. Make your bed

2. Say "Good Morning"

3. CLear the table after you eat

4. Put food on the counter

5. Help eachother, and play nice! Ask for alone time if you need it and Have Fun! (the boys can seperate if they need a break from eachother, they know they have to respect that seperate time for at least 30 minutes).

6.  Take care of your responsabilities

7. Respect your self and your parents.

8. ** See clothes chart

Our Homework Contract

At the beginning of the school year my son was still learning the daily homework routine. He'd get frustrated always feeling that I was "adding to his homework assignments" when in fact it was already part of an unlearned routine. So I told him we will make a deal - "a contract."

Mommy what's that? I loved being able to explain that it's an agreement people make, they usually write it down and then sign their names, as a sort of promise to follow the rules listed on the paper.

So I came up with a few suggestions and so did he..Mine were the work only can be turned in if he wrote the "most beautiful letters" on the page. And we would have to correct wrong answers on tests, "so we can learn the correct answer." He wanted to have a piece of candy after every worksheet was completed.

Then we reviewed our ideas and circled the ones we both agreed on. Here's our final: Homework Contract

1. Review our assignment book and complete worksheets to packets from school. (Sometimes we divide the number of pages from a weekly packet into manageable portions and do a little each day before Fridays due date.)

2. Review our spelling words and play spelling city. (Kids learn quickly and easily by playing games, and this is screen time worth having!)

3. Math - practice daily with a school sheet or moms sheet. (I printed our a stack of math worksheets from various websites as practice. My son can use any strategies to complete the work like counting on his fingers or his number line.)

4. Study for tests (usually we have a study guide from school).

5. Copy work (I learned that the 2nd grade students don't do a lot of writing during the day, so I added a Homeschool idea of writing copy work daily. I printed out poems, quotes, kids song lyrics, etc via this web site so my son can "copy" the letters and learn proper letter formation. It helps with spelling too. I am happy to report after 7 months we've seen great improvement in his penmanship. I just won't accept that boys don't write nicely, beautiful penmanship takes time and practice!)

You need to ask for help whenever you need it. Mom will help you and show you how to do the work, give examples, but Mom will NOT do the work for you.

X________________sons signed his name

X________________ Mom signed

My young son drives me nuts, or is it just me?

I need to simply change my expectations because I expect too much of my kids. Ya, it is my own fault that I can yell at times, and get so frustrated, over what exactly? Noise, a mess, playing rough?

My older son talks clearly, with a great vocabulary, but you know what... he doesn't comprehend concepts yet (money, time, competition and teasing). And he emotionally doesnt understand alot - like that blank stare when I yell. My kids freeze in fear - they were just having fun... why is mom yelling?

I read an interesting article about gifted kids - those who can complete complex math problems in high school, or master playing beethoven by age 8. The brain develops the "skills" but does not develop the emotional brdiges for long term success. Can you imagine the pressure on an 8 year old to perform infront of a large crowd because he is the best? Even if he loves playing, the one thing he isn't doing is being a kid. And as kids play, and face "kids play" challenges, they develop - slowly - the emotions they need to deal with things as an adult. Their "emotional tool box" which will follow them thru life.

So I reflected on this article for my own good...

Stay calm cause really no ones dying - I literally take a deep breath when I feel I am getting angry.

Ironically I did a good job teaching my 3 year old to say "I am getting angry" so we can know to respect his space. I am relearning 30+ years of bad habits - - so I need to take deep breaths!

My own mom used to say: "what's your problem?" I realize that she too didn't know how to put into nicer words: "Honey, I love you,... I know your having a hard time understanding how you feel,... let's talk about it." I realized I don't want to bring up my kids, repeating the cycle, and them bearing the same trauma as me.

Do Not Hit

We have a don't hit policy at home, that incudes grabbing ears, hair, etc. I think the need to get physical arises because my emotions where not allowed, and I was shut down whenever I wanted to speak.... so through the years that built up as anger - 0 to 10 instant anger. My mom would yell and rant through the house and if I spoke up she'd tell me to shut up and listen. I would sit in my room FUMING MAD, mumbling the worst things under my breath.  I never understood where my own anger came from until very recently.And then the final straw - I watched an episode of the super nanny, which usually makes me feel so much better as a mom, where Joan sat a dad down at kid level and yelled at him. The dad could see what a big bully he looked like to his kids. I couldnt swallow the lump in my throat for days.

My husbands mother would pull his ears! How horrible. So when hubby started doing that to our little 3 year old first son, and after I asked constantly for him to stop - guess what? I decided one day when I was within his reach, right after he pulled my son's ear, I pulled my husbands ear - HARD! Needless to say - luckily - it never happened again. Unfortunatly with habits like this, yelling and ear pulling, I think we need to take our own medicine so we know how it feels. Now my husband also takes a deep breath!

I literally take a deep breath when I feel this angry. Then I ask myself, "Is this situation so bad that I will be mad about it in 5 years?" Usually the answer is no.

The good news is... my anger is in check. I stay significantly more calm. My oldest son asks me openly "mom, why do you look frustrated?" And I am honest about what is bothering me... but I am cautious NOT to blame him. I do say things like:

"You didn't put your shoes away, and your brother is screaming, and the baby is hungry... it's alot for mom to deal with right now, but in 10 minutes i'll be okay"


As long as we continue to grow, improve, and be better parents for ourselves and for who our kids are right now this plan can work. Its so simple. And for me, for us, we are okay.

Poetry: a mother yelling

When I was young, my mother would sometimes just yell. We know bad parenting habits are multi-generational. I don't blame her for yelling. Don't get me wrong I consider my childhood a happy one tho. I understand where these things come from. But as an adult I know the constant yelling made me a quick to anger adult. And I Am Breaking The Cycle.... The Yelling Stops With Me!


Yelling at a price

When I was 15 I'd lay in bed
And send my mom curses, in my head
Sometimes I'd wish her dead
Or some other horrible thing

She'd YELL at me for this or that
Why did you drop your HAT?
You're a such a spoiled brat!
Or some other horrible thing

Now I have three kids of my own
And sometimes I get into that yelling zone
And one day will they'll abandon me, Alone
Or some other horrible thing

Snipets of what I say to keep up with our manners (and our sanity) Mom-isms

Mom of two boys and baby girl...OMG. I've reverted too quick comments, and getting POSITIVE words in where I can to make sure were following our manners...often. I try to say what I want the resulting behaviour to be. And keeping up with positive words instead of "no, stop it, don't do that," I try: "do this..., say it like this..., please try...," and (my favorite) "you have to earn it."

Use your words.

Yes they'll sometimes scream or argue, but I encourage them to control their emotion and then label how they feel..."how did it make you feel when your brother screamed...do you like how it feels when you are mean?...please ask for candy, do not grab." And say what they desire, from the spiderman action figure to ice cream..."please use your words...no screaming because I can't hear you...Please ask...please share." and tell them often what they did right "you were very good today,...well behaved, ...nice gentleman or this IS how a gentleman acts."

However I do NOT allow back talk, sassyness or inappropriate sarcasm. They'll hear: "please DO NOT talk to me that way... That was rude, say "I won't say that again Mom."

Showing Love

"Good job...Let's talk about that later (after the meltdown, it helps prevent a meltdown, and sometimes you can discuss when they are more calm)...Keep your hands on your own body...Show me how (to do that)...Kiss your brain...your smart cause You work hard...your sick because you have a Bug in your tummy...Give me a hug... No one kissed me today..." And when my nearly one year old babies started moving around and grabbing everything in sight, I would take the object away gently and say "thank you, thank you!" "No" was saved for dangerous situations like trying to stand in the high-chair.

I say "I Love You" all the time. "Good Morning. I Love You." "When picking up the kids from school, "I missed you today," and I"ll whisper in their ear, "I Love You." "You ate your whole lunch, the sandwich, the ant sticks (celery with peanut butter and raisins) and drank your water! Yaay!!" Big hug, followed by "I Love You."

Manners

"You forgot to say the magic word...that's not how a gentleman acts...go fart in the bathroom...ask to be excused (from the table)...say I'm sorry when you wrong someone...tell someone to "stop it" when they hurt you...use your napkin...I've told you enough to stop (insert X behaviour), now you need to earn your (insert next favorite activity on the schedule, from ice cream to bedtime book) and LET THEM EARN IT!! ...say "Good Game"...I can't see you I can't hear you...I'm in the bathroom, it's private time (when that doesnt' work, "whatever you have to say can wait!") please don't talk to me in that way....ask nicely...say please/ thank you." also I expect my kids to use titles when speaking to/about adults. Don't say Him, "you say Dad, not him."or "Who is she? Mrs. So an so?."

Participate

Tickle fights, snuggle and watch a 20 minute cartoon together, eat dinner together, ..."get me a diaper please, ...I want to play a board game, who's joining me? ...please come say hi to the baby, she missed you today... I love how you are playing nice together...show me 5 (5 minute warning)... Let your brother win, sometimes...sing: clean up time, clean up time, everybody clean up time (mom or dad help too)...keep your hands on your own body...please flush the toilet." "Let's go wash our hands." And when my older son decided to stop after the bathroom hand washing I'd say "it's like eating/playing with pee and poop on our hands ... Do you want that?" He'd ruuuuuun to wash up.

Eat Right

Veggies, fruits, breads, cheese, yogurts.... its about making better choices, understanding portions and when to splurge on a treat! "No cookies today....the tooth fairy wouldn't like that treat...what time is it now? yes, breakfast time. and when do we get candy? Yes, candy is after lunch...in the summer/ have as many Popsicles as you want, after lunch...who's having a snack...I'm having some tea, would you like some?...it's time for a mini scoop (of ice cream)."

Understand Hard Work

To us adults putting toys away is "EZ" - but to a kid it can be complicated and overwhelming. Just like if they fall and scrape their knee, yes they will be OKAY. But first we should acknowledge that they are hurt, and falling down may have been scary. Along these same lines, Say "yes that (whatever they did) was hard (for them!)... That was hard, gimmie five! ... look how many tries that took.... we have to do homework because we are learning to learn... Practice because we do it wrong 100x's and right on the 101st... it looks easy for mom, but it was hard for me once too" (kids don't want to feel they can't accomplish something, and don't want to feel under valued if it's too easy).

"If its not on the list, we don't buy it." this avoids the cries for toys and candy... But occasionally candy and ice cream DO make the list because, after all, they're only kids for a short time! As for spending their own money I offer my advice and opinion to them. But as long as the toy doesn't affect out "rules:" it's safe and doesn't affect their health, they can spend their own money. Look, if they make a mistake, and a bad purchase, that's the best way to learn - for themselves. Kids haven't learned yet that cheap toys break quickly, etc.

Go Outside

Run, jump, fall down, play, ask to play tag with new kids, go say "Hi, my name is," get dirty then come in and learn how to get clean...."outside song: line up, line up, line up, its time to go outside...pee on the other side of the tree...please check for cars...ring the doorbell ONE time, don't yell...say please....check your hands for microbugs...did you use soap?..ask if they wanna play tag...clean up time equals going outside."


These are all ways they learn to be men (and a lady) later in life. I hope they remember these phrases with love and intention.

Where the Wild Things Are? They are at My House!

Blog My Young Son is Wild, and I am At My Wits End... Some boys just can't sit still. Some boys have trouble learning in school. Some boys are constantly misbehaving.  My sons are more like Max, from "Where the Wild Things Are." He has alot of energy and loves to play, and sometimes my boys  are wild.

Does that sound like your son? Now in some cases these misbehaviors is reason for legitimate concern. But before extreme circumstances are implemented, I challenge every mom and caregiver to implement one simple strategy to see if you can help curb the childs negative behaviour and encourage the positive behaviors: use outside time!

1. Boys need to release their energy.

Studies have shown that boys actually are able to focus when they have spent their energy first. I know from extensive personal experience that boys also behave better when they have spent their energy too.  I hate to say it, but we are mammals and just like you need to run your dog every day we need to let our kids run too. Dogs who are in training or already trained won't tear up the house if they have been walked/run because they have exhausted their energy. They're simply too tired to cause any damage in the house. The same theory applies to boys. Really this concept applies to girls as well, but especially boys. My boys get plenty of outside time everyday, usually 1-2 hours throughout the day, even in the winter. It is because we give them ample time to "get their energy out" that we rarely have problems of misbehavior or "wild reactions" in the house.

2. Cut tube time!!

Think about your day, is your son Getting a lot of tube time, more then 1 hour of TV, videos or computer? Is he spending an equal amount of time outside or at least an hour outside everyday? If not then consider when IS he getting his energy out? Boys bodies build up their internal energy throughout the day and need to empty their "energy tank." it is only when the tank is empty that a boy can focus on the task at hand. That means school, the doctors office visit or a civilized trip to grandmas house. See our family schedule which includes limited tube time and plenty of outdoor time resulting in a mostly peaceful household. We even do this before school to help have a productive day of learning.

Take for example our trip to the doctors office for joint appointments (or just tagging along) with 2 boys under age 5. A potential nightmare in some cases. Especially when getting shots. So as often as I can we try to either go to the park before the visit, or arrive at least 20 minutes before our appointment. We park and take a brisk walk around the block while playing our neighborhood games like "Who can run the fastest to that tree?"... Or "Ill race you to the red brick house"..."Who can be the frost to pick up 4 sticks?" I make it a point to include running in the games we play. This way the boys are pooped out tired when they get into the doctors office. They'll generally sit in the chair reading one of our take along books or playing with their toy animals while the other boy is being examined. There's still an occasional reminder of "proper behavior" but for the most part it is a pleasant visit.

Do Not Hit back, Our BIG BOY VOICE Bully Strategy, for the early Primary Years

When my oldest son was a kindergartener some of the older kids were teasing him, almost bullying. They wouldn't let him "be darth maul when playing star wars" or similar scenarios. They would tease him, or tell him his drawings or activities weren't nice. And it was something mean everyday.

Right away my husband said when situations would arise, or if a boy pushed my son, "hit them." I'd rather we be a not hitting household, unless our kids are hit first. And yes my husband was kidding (until they hit High School right?) So when the picking on our son turned to pushing, physically pushing at recess, we knew we needed to empower our 5 year old son.

Our "don't hit 'big boy voice' bully strategy."

Yes, we spoke with the teacher, but teachers cannot be everywhere all the time. And room moms are mostly on the recess lot. In life my son will need to know how to stand up for himself. So after we tried the teacher route, this strategy evolved.

Handling Kids who push, hit, and bully in the early years...

1. Husband said tell them to stop..."Don't do that to me" Clearly, telling the kids what to do is important. But my son wasn't understanding his cute kindergarten voice didn't cut it.

2. I thought of the "use your big boy voice" when telling anything to the kids that tease.  This made a big difference. Our son physically would change his posture and felt empowered in not only with his words but his voice as well. But one kid, the oldest, wasn't stopping, and we struggled with a way to allow our son to handle it. Yes, he can tell an adult, but as he ages he will need to know what to do himself!

We practiced what a "big boy voice" is... many times, with mom and dad and grandma. Practice helps when it is time to actually DO.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


3. My mom said (Baba Babcia Ula) to help get the kids attention, our son should "touch the kids arm."  Brilliant. This allowed for a sense of intimidation without hitting. Yes, it took courage from our son to get that close to the kid too.

Touch has a very powerful effect. Imagine as an adult when someone touches your arm. You notice the touch. You pay closer attention to the person touching you as a side effect or the touch.  They are also "in your personal 4 foot space" and you will notice them for being so close too.

Eventually a situation came up, and my son said he "knew what he had to do." It worked - one day at recess, when the boy was mean, our son just walked up, put his hand on his forearm, and in a firm, not yelling voice said "Don't do that to me!" and walked away. Instantly, they stopped being mean to him. Granted he didn't always get to play the character he wanted, but the "meanness" from the other boys stopped.

It never happened again!

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud!

ONE YEAR LATER
Post Script: One year later, in the first week of First Grade, on his own my son remembered this strategy. Some kid shoved him while playing tag. He used this strategy and firmly held the boys arm and yelled "DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!" and the boy stared in amazement. A classmate said: "I was gonna tell, but you made him cry." After the pusher stopped crying, my son went to the pusher and said - we can still play, so they continued playing, all 3 of the boys.

My Son Plays Rough, How to Distinguish Violent Versus Rough Play

My husband is a pretty mellow guy. He never play fought or wrestled with our first son. He would play board games and read books to him, or walk him in the neighborhood. So as my baby became a toddler I noticed he was getting a little feisty with dad, and starting to hit or tug at him. My husband discouraged such behaviors, and so did I. I didn't want my son being "violent."

Around three years old I started to notice that my son would "reenact" with his stuffed animals books we had read, or something we had experienced that day. He was role playing with his toys what "mom said" and what "he said" in our conversations. Even expressing feelings and inner thoughts during the play that he had not expressed to me. He would tell his pet lion "no you can't have any candy until after lunch." My son would then say: "oh lion, don't be sad." And I realized this is how children learn, by replaying scenarios in their head, over and over, making connections between this situation and that. Mock play helps them filter their emotions and learn how to cope with those feelings.

And sometimes role play turns rough. And now that my son is older, there is sometimes "death" or "sword fighting" in his imaginary play. After a trip to the museum where Pirates were on display we had an extensive discussion about how pirates would sail on the sea in big ships, and they would attack other ships to steal their goods and treasures. Throughout that week all I heard about was pirates, attacking other ships and finding treasure.

But there is something significant missing in his "mock play" - there is no blood, no spilled brains, no gruesome acts, there isn't an over indulgence in death or dying. That's because the "rough play" is imaginary and is not based in reality. He doesn't watch violent video games, bloody or gory scenes in movies, so his concept of rough play is actually pretty mild.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


As parents we need to distinguish "Fantasy Violence" and "Real Life Violence."  Fantasy violence is when my son says "I'm gonna kill you alligator" and then pounces on the alligator. He usually DOESN'T describe the blood and the gruesome scenes. However if a boy is watching "Real Life Violence" on TV or in video games, where he sees shooting, spilling blood, murder, then he will internalize that violent behavior and then act it out. So instead of jumping on the alligator to kill it, instead he would enact shooting and describe the spilled blood.

For example: as we read a classic tale of "Ali Baba and the forty thieves," in this version, Ali Babas brother is killed by the 40 thieves, and my son has no concept of what "being killed" is. So I explain it in mommy terms, "the brother went to a dangerous place, the thieves cave. And the brother tried stealing from the thieves which made them very angry. Thieves are bad people because they steal from other people and commit crimes. And when they saw the brother the thieves were mean to him too, and killed him because the brother tried stealing from them." But my son also knew that at the end of the book the thieves were punished for their behavior, and he includes "banishment" as he reenacts this lesson in during mock play.

Clearly in this story there is "violence" - murder of Ali Baba's brother, thieves who steal, and at the end of the book the thieves try to attack Ali Baba. But when my son re-enacted this book, he "talked" about the violence, but he didn't talk about blood, cutting off heads, or other gruesome acts that might be seen on a TV version of this story.

Steps for success:
- Don't let young boys watch violence on tv and video games.

- Limit tube time to less then an hour per day. And if you need non-TV time ideas, read my blog about what should my kids be doing if their not watching TV??- Distinguish between reenactments of "fantasy violence" and "real violence." Fantasy violence is "Ali baba and the forty thieves," "king arthurs knights of the round table," "cops and robbers" or pirates. Real life scenarios include too many descriptions of blood and gore, cutting off of body parts or excess pain and suffering.

You know your child and you can identify what he has learned when he is reenacting. You can observe you childs "play" and use that time to explain what his play signifies, explain acceptable violence, and most importantly how to help him understand it and label his emotions.

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud 

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

So if I limit T.V. time, What should my kids be doing?? A big part is you learn as you go. And as you pick up tips and tricks taking a moment to think about HOW to Include these ideas into your own home. 

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

UPDATE: 2012 - 4 years later 

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine - where the kids DO WATCH SOME T.V.!  

After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.

NEW UPDATE :: YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT BLOG

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

THE ORIGINAL POST ::

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

I remember the first day I brought my newborn son home. Sheer exhaustion of course, happiness that I couldn’t put into words, only into tears. My husband took family leave from work to spend 3-weeks at home with our new son and helping mom assimilate to this “new world.” And then I remember the first day my husband went back to work, at 6:00 a.m. I looked at my son on the changing table and thought, “What am I going to do with you now?”

It’s been a few years since that day. And today I can say that “routines” make our world go around. Of course my son gets some TV or video game time. But it is limited to less then one-hour per day., if that much. I know, freakish right? Especially when I watched 3-4 hours a day growing up. But I realized early on, there is so much to do, and not watching TV lets us accomplish so much more in our lives.

You can jump ahead to the schedule I included in this blog, but I wanted to share a brief story first. The cornerstone of our family schedule is outside time. So to avoid potential issues in my home – outside time has become critical.

Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can google it for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. As you may know we are facing an epidemic in our country with childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, etc., etc., etc. In our home, there are many days we don’t even watch TV because – as you will  see from the schedule below – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they don’t become bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic byproduct, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!

A Quick Story about outside time

My grandmother who lives around the corner, would stop by often, just on check on us, leave some food, and head home. It was under her advice that I had done the BEST thing I could ever do for my kids. She would tell me everyday “Take that baby outside, everyday for at least 20 minutes.” My Babcia, that’s grandmother, is from Poland – and when she was raising her kids life was much simpler because frankly everything took so much longer to do! But he kids were always healthy, and I am happy to say mine are too. She would say “those cheeks need to be rosy, and breath the fresh air.” Fresh air? I live in an urban area so fresh means not the air that you sit in, at home, all the time.

The No T.V.  Schedule: 6:30 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. 

Below I have listed what I have arrived at for our current schedule. And the key word is arrived. My son is 5-years old now, so over the course of the last 5 years there have been some decisions I made along the way that helped become the foundation of our family schedule. And I thought it may be helpful to share with parents how we accomplish a “No T.V. schedule.” In another post I will note some short stories on how this schedule came to be – and those “decisions” we all make along the way of childhood.  

Note: This is a flexible schedule depending on the day, what we need to accomplish, etc. But this schedule is a guide – and we are usually within 15-20minutes of the times listed here. Unless its summer time, then we are outside all the more.

6:45 a.m. Get up for school.

By the time my day begins, my husband has usually left for work already. If my son is not awake I walk into his room singing our “Good Morning Song.” This is a gentle way to start the day pleasant and not abruptly. Bathroom responsibilities: including brushing our teeth. He gets himself dressed for school (the clothes were laid out the night before on his bed-side chair).

Mom dresses the baby (his 4 years younger brother) and herself and we head down for breakfast.

7:00 a.m. Breakfast table (Notice, we are NOT putting cartoons on).

He grabs his Kindergarten Site Words list and gives it 1-2 reviews. Afterwards he grabs a book (readily available in a basket by the table) and “reads” looking over the book.  

Mom gives baby some cut fruits and a sip of milk and prepares breakfast.

7:15 ish a.m. We eat breakfast at the table (Not in front of the T.V.).

We discuss what the day will bring, What’s is happening at school today and the plan for after-school. My son sometimes asks: “Mom, what’s the plan for today.”  

7:30 ish a.m. Leave Early for School, (Yes, It says leave early…)

As a mother of 2 boys I understand in depth that boys “need to get their energy out” (as my mom always said). So my boys run in the yard or we take a quick walk to the end of the block before getting in the car. Or we will park a block away from school and walk over instead of driving to the front door.

Summer time – In the summer, or on school breaks, this would be the time we get ready to head out for our fieldtrips. I live in an urban area and we are often taking advantage of free activities/low cost activities.

Monday thru Thursday we are out of the house – almost like a day-camp. I ALWAYS pack along drinks for the kids and healthy snacks to get us thru ½ a day.

Why pack so much food? By the time we get in the car and to our destination, stay and play and drive home, nearly ½ a day passes, so to stay healthy, I pack our own snacks to prevent that drive-thru stop.  

2x/week: We are at the beach or pool

1x/week: We are at the museum, the zoo, or going to an area park for several hours.

1x/week: We are at a free/low cost activity in the area, or at a Park District or nearby College kids class that I signed the boys up for.

1x/week: Free day Friday (or Monday): We run 1-2 errands with mom, and spend  few hours at the park.  

8:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. Mom and Baby time

When we return home there is still No T.V. My 2-year old follows a similar schedule that his brother had a few years ago. First thing, I get my coffee (m-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e), and we read a book. Right away so I engage the little one in some “mommy-n-me time.”

In the winter, I sign my little one and I up for some indoor classes at the local college or park district. My older son had the benefit of playing with other kids his age, it got us out of the house, and I had some adult interaction too.

Still No T.V.? Then the baby gets a toy or two and I do one or two quick chores. He often helps with his mini broom, or holding the vacuum cord. He also takes clothes out of the laundry basket. I start lunch and have him in the refrigerator door with my grabbing what’s needed. Then he sits in the high-chair with another book and a snack (usually cut-up fruit) as I prepare lunch. Sometimes I will run a quick errand, or do grocery shopping with baby as big brother is in school.

11:30 a.m. Pick Up Time and Outside Play.

Outside Play is CRITICAL for Boys. Especially for boys because they are not able to focus as well as girls when their bodies are pent up with energy. With my sippy cups and cantelope slices in hand we stop at the neighborhood park or play in the yard for “at least 20 minutes” like grandma said – but usually it’s 40 minutes. Read on to 4:00 to see why… Conveniently there is No T.V. time here.

Winter time: You may be wondering if outside time applies in the winter? It sure does. On days when it is 30 degrees we are bundled up in hats, scarves and gloves. When there is a freeze advisory I am extra cautious so the kids delicate skin doesn’t get frost bite or freeze burn, but we still try to stick our noses outside the door few a few minutes. Whats is nice about winter is it takes an extra 10 minutes to get our coats on and another 10 minutes to get our coats (and boots) off. Add in the 10-20 minutes outside and nearly an hour has still passed….again skip to 4:00 if you think I am crazy!

Of Course if it is just tooooooo cold, then we do some "energy out" activitiy indoors. Inside we play freeze dance, dance our booties off, run from one point to anothoer to see who is fastest, etc. The kids still need to run and exert themselves a little.

12:30 p.m. Head Home for Lunch and “Resting Time.”

Everyone puts their own coats and shoes away where they belong. The older one goes and changes into his play clothes, and lays out his school clothes back on his bedside chair. Lunch is eaten at the table (not in front of the T.V.). Usually as we eat I ask how school was for my older son and discuss his day and/or mom reads a book. My mom says “eating is boring, it is a necessity and not necessarily  fun for kids.” So even with food cut into fun shapes and lots of colors on the plate - I keep them engaged by reading a quick book and talking about the day.

1:00 p.m. Nap time! AH Rest for mom (I’m not super-mom , I get tired!). But we call it resting time (read ahead to the short stories below to see why…).

The Baby goes into his crib and I play a CD. Baby will sleep for at least 2 hours. My 5-year old has to lay down in his bed and “rest.” Resting time is at least 30 minutes. I put on a CD and if he falls asleep – I let him sleep for up to an hour, so I don’t disturb bedtime at night.

{Unless the kids are sick, then they can sleep until they wake up naturally. The body heals itself during sleep and that is more important.} I might catch the afternoon news or a quick show. But with my recent iPad present I am usually busy blogging or catching up on my web to do list, things to look up, etc. Definitely some “me-time.”

1:30 - 2:00 p.m. Resting Time Ends, Homework and Play time begins

My sons gets up (or I wake him) and we head to the kitchen table (again, No T.V.) and he gets a cup of juice and water (50/50 mix). We review what happened in school and go over any school work and homework, unless we reviewed these things at lunch.

Usually we take about 10 minutes to do our homework (he’s in Kindergarten). Then we take 10 minutes to review a second language. We are a tri-lingual household so my son is tutored in Polish and Spanish. One language per day in a rotation.  

Mom gets her c-o-f-f-e-e if needed.

2:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Outside Time and Freeplay

I am an avid gardener so this part is easy for me. If you are not into gardening then play games and see what your son has for ideas. The idea is to be outside. Sit in your yard or in front of your home while your son plays. Take the newspaper, your i-Pod, or a book while he runs, jumps and plays for 20-30 minutes. You can look at this as time for you too!! See my Winter Note: it applies here too.

I DO NOT let my son play outside alone, I still feel he is too young and we live in an urban area. By this time of day we are lucky enough to have some neighborhood kids also outside playing at this time, so my son has some playmates. But I am always near him when outdoors.

3:00 – 5:00 p.m. Outside Time and Dinner Preparations

3:00 p.m. Usually our outside time continues in nice weather, above 30 degrees. If its too cold we will do a project indoors, clay activity, painting, or a board game.

3:00 – 3:30 p.m. If the baby wakes up (I keep his baby monitor handy) then we go and get him, our sippy cups and a light snack, and baby joins us outside for at least…20 minutes. *Notice this become at least 1-hour of outside time for my older son.  If needed, I can take this time to run a quick errand with the kids before our evening begins. But since errands are SO MUCH EASIER with one-child, I try to run errands when the older one is at school.

4:00 p.m. Head Home for Dinner preparations and Snack-Time

By now my boys have run, jumped, and played, so they have gotten all “of their energy out.” Also, we have  finished school work – so the afternoon is free time for the kids. We usually get a quick snack in the kitchen, if needed, and then they get to play inside the house.

This is also what I call potential “crisis time” in some households. Part of this blog is to PREVENT CRISIS Before it strikes. It’s when the nearly end-of-the-day but not-quite-bedtime that some boys get “stir crazy.” Or incredibly bored. However this is NOT an issue in our home. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the boys play too rough or tease each other, and I need to step in. But most of the time the boys play (on the same floor a I am) nice and quite in the play room together. Yes, together! In our home nagging mom and running in the house is not allowed. So to make these rules stick I have to put in my share of the work UP FRONT, by letting the kids run around outside, so they stay nice and calm indoors.

Mom is preparing dinner and listening to the playroom activity. Still No T.V. though. But my i-Pod is playing. Sometimes the boys come into the kitchen and ask for their “Kids” play list – so we can dance together. So even though I am cooking and fairly on task, we still get a little boogie-woogie in.  

5:00 p.m. Tube Time Has Arrived – Yes, a little T.V., Computer, or Video Time is Here….

Are you excited? T.V. time is here. Well sort of. Because My older son didn’t actually watch cartoons or a movie until the age of 2, he actually prefers books or educational games. And this is also a behavior my younger son is learning.

TV/TUBE TIME:

Anywhere between 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m.  the boys know they can watch T.V. or play video games. So the older one also has Apps on my i-Pad and he is thrilled to play. Sometimes the younger one watches a cartoon, but he usually sticks with us in the kitchen, thumbing thru a book, or playing with one if his toys. But he is also peeking over big brothers shoulder when he plays the i-Pad, so looks like I'll download some baby Apps too.

Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can search for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. There are many days we don’t even watch T.V. because – as you can see from the schedule – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they aren’t bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic result, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!

6:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Dinner Time

The boys have to clean up their toy room and put things where they belong. Just like they hang up their coats after school, I do not want to clean up after my future teenagers, so now is the time to learn tidy-skills.

We wash our hands and the boys, both help set the table for dinner. Plates, cups utensils (less knives) and cloth napkins. Sometimes dad is home in time for dinner, and other times he is not. But we have an understanding at home that having happy kids is important, so that means we stick to a schedule.

At dinner we talk about our day(s), the best part of the day, and the next days plans. Sometimes we play a board game during dinner. We squeeze education and fun in at anytime that we can. Notice I said squeeze, not force. Learning and talking with your kids becomes a natural part of the day.  

7:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Bedtime Routine Begins

Ah, it’s finally here, that time of day we all love: BEDTIME! The boys help clear the table, and mom puts the dinner leftovers away (with dad).

Usually we take a bath in the evening. But sometimes the boys play in their room upstairs and I can tiddy up as needed. If we do take baths, mom or dad stay in the bathroom with the kids keeping them company, supervising behavior and playing with the kids toys too. Bathtime can be fun when supervised and kept safe.

7:30 p.m. Bath time / Playtime ends.

We take the kids out of the tub one at a time. Sometimes we divide and concur one – boy per parent. But mom can handle both using this system. Either boys comes out first. There PJ’s are already in the bathroom with us. I dry them off and put PJ’s on. The 1^st boys brushes his teeth and comes his hair as I dry and dress the next baby. Then when the older one is done he heads off to pick out his bedtime book and goes into bed. Once Mom is done dressing the baby we prepare for story time.

Again depending on the day, or if baby is extra tired. I will either read to baby in his crib a short book, then put his Soothing Bed Time CD, or I will put him in his brothers bed for a joint book. Other times, big brother does a “sleepover” in his baby brothers room (in the spare bed or in the sleeping bag on the floor, NOT IN THE CRIB WITH BABY) and I read to them both in there.

I read 1-2 books – it is predetermined BEFORE I start reading. We give hugs and kisses for the night (if needed the baby is transferred out of big brothers bed). Both boys get a nighttime CD and a night light to fall asleep.

The kids usually sleep well thru the night, until 6:30 a.m. for the day to begin again.

8:00 p.m. and On – Its all Mommy Time!  

I hope you have found this schedule insightful and I can only rave about the calm and fairly crisis free home we have – all because of a routine based day.

Additional Reading: I always like recommend where you can read more on the topics presented in these blog articles.

Topics: Outside Time, Having a Schedule, Babies Health, Raising a Boy, and sooo much more.  

Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book, 8th edition. I am an avid reader of child development books, and my mom always said I was a “Spock Baby.” Dr. Spock was an innovative Doctor for his time with wonderful and practical ideas about caring for babies. Now in it’s 8^th edition, Dr. Spock is still a valuable resource for new and not-so-new moms.  

Topics: Understanding What TYPE of child you have, Schedules and Routines for Kids, Raising a Boy, Bedtimes Routines, and sooo much more.

Secrets of The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, by Tracy Hogg.

Topics: Boys Learning Styles, Needs for Play time, Raising a Boy, How Other Countries Educate Boys.

Raising Cain: Boys in Focus, Michael Thompson Ph D. A Documentary. This website provides some q-n-a on raising boys and the experts feedback.


Originally Published on November 28, 2010