We can learn a lot from Downton Abbey about instilling values and deeper understanding in our children. While the show is set in early 1900's England, following a sometimes stuffy and aristocratic family, who has a life of leisure, where footmen and maids do everything from cook and clean, to dressing their Lord and Lady employers. There is a tremendous amount of perspective to be gained in the amount of time spent doing, ...well... nothing!
Time spent walking, writing letters, dressing, preparing for dinner (that is getting dressed for dinner) allows for a lot of time to think. One thing time does, with extreme amounts of leisure time, it gives you the ability to reflect and consider, ponder, and gain perspective on how you want to shape your life. What are your opinions, values and how will you live those beliefs. Sometimes I think we are slipping as a society, on certain appreciation of things because we simply do not have enough time to THINK about the value of life.
It's so refreshing to see Lord Grantham and his family and servants appreciation of soldiers during the war. During dinner the Grantham family talks about and exchanges views on the happenings of the day, any news, their lives and opinions. Wouldn't it be great if we could have these types of dinner time talks with our families everyday? At our house dinner is at the table nearly
every night. And even though my kids are young, and the happenings of their day is homework, tests, friend troubles and kid sized problems - we talk! And during these talks we exchange our opinions on things - "no, you can't punch your friend in the head!" - and we talk about solutions. "Yes, tell the teacher you can't see well, and that your getting glasses." It's not the 1900's stuffy formal dinner, but we get that "leisure time" at dinner to reflect on our selves, our actions, and concerns. And yes, sometimes my husband and I talk politics and the kids hear things about government, war, and the non-kid happenings of the day.
During World War I civilians in Downton Abbey felt patriotic, that there country was fighting for something they, as a whole society, could believe in. Prior to World War I, young men were very anxious to sign up for the war. (Of course that enthusiasm's also because these bright eyed boys didn't understand or ever see the horrors of war.)
Perhaps it was naïveté. Perhaps we know better today how horrible war is. With the Internet we have the instant ability to see the brutalities and the Severity of war. Even prior to the internet social media boom, and reporters who were embedded in the war with units of troops, in the 1970's people had TV and newspapers . I know it makes me cringe at the thought of a young man going to that environment. Even tho in Downton they didn't see or understand the brutality of war, there was still support in 1917. But what I have come to admire is there sheer support of the soldiers. Regardless of position in society, wealth, stature, and even with little understanding of the "front lines" there was support for those who were called to duty-- and shame for those who didn't run to serve.
How they thought of the boys on the front, how they talked about war, how they supported them (even begrudgingly at times, duty superseded opinion and convenience), how they understood the troops were sacrificing their lives, their families, and their lives to go be on the front. I wish we had that type of support for soldiers today. If there's one thing we could hold onto from the early 20th century it would be that appreciation.
Believe me when I say I am the first one who is antiwar, but I have to be able to support those who sacrificed their lives to go overseas and do other country calls them to do. I am not patriotic from that perspective. I think War should be avoided at all costs. We are such an advanced society yet we use such antiquated approaches as soldiers and murder. And if we are at war it should be understood why. Ironically all my opinions listed above on why not to go to war lack the support for our soldiers. And there's the demise of our nation. Of us. Of me. We get so caught up in opinion we forget about those who are LITERALLY caught up in the battle.
But I'm just laymen, not a decision-maker in Washington. So all I can do to support the troops is Not just in my blog, but also into deeds.
How can we support our troops? How can we show - and support as they did in 1917 - that even if we are against the war - that the troops should get our thank you?
No spoiler alerts here. At the end of Downton Abbey season one, the country is involved in World War I. At the time of course it's just considered a war. The beginning of season two, which shows that all the young men are being enlisted or already fighting in the war. The footman from downtown are all gone. And there's the sheer shock of ladies taking over men's work, women learning how to drive and do farm work. A Lady from the manor becoming a nurse. The maids serving dinner (the horror). But for these aristocrats it was doing "there sacrifice" to support the war. And the answer to how we today can support our troops, in comments, actions and deeds just like the people of Downton Abbey.
Everyone pulled together to help. Farms lost all their man power/ hands, someone else would goes to drive the tractor for that farmer. Troops who are healing from the war, need a place to convalesce and the manor home is opened up to take them so they can continue to get used to their conditions. And even a soldier suffering from "shell shock" gets the support of a shoulder and kind words from a coworker saying that she understands and giving him a story of how she can relate to his state Of mind. Encouraging him not to work yet, encouraging him to heal his mind from the war. How does this relate to us today, what can we do?
My son school had a drive for some soldiers in Afghanistan for you feel a shoebox with playing cards candy snacks things along those lines pair shoe laces for the soldiers. That was my first time participating in something overseas. Otherwise I really didn't know how else to support the troops. And before reflecting on my feeling of soldiers and war - I had opportunities to participate in such drives but I never did!
Then we had a soldier, in our family, come home from Iraq. He too is possibly suffering from PTSD. All I could do is talk to him when he opens up. And NOT ask about shooting over there, and sensationalizing the gruesomeness over there like others asked him. Instead be kind and tell him we are glad to have him home and be a member of the family again. And when he finally wanted to talk, we did, about non-war issues.
And finally when my children were a little bit older we had another cousin who is overseas in Afghanistan. This time his wife had told me that he really enjoyed Polish Kabanos sausage. It reminded him of his childhood. You can find for yourself some stories of what it's like to be in a hot desert for 30 days with only your MREs and nothing else but sand around you. You long for something from home. So sending him some Polish Kabanos was something that he could only think or dream about. Such joy for a young man away from the comforts of home... And it was so easy for me to send it to Him. (Pre shrink wrapped at the store...and a few bucks to ship it.)
Do something, anything, you can to support our soldiers weather you believe in the war(s) or not! Often magazines list ideas of how you can participate thru organizations, often local churches hold drives, even at your local schools.
But, if nothing else, extend your hand to a veteran and say thanks. Shaking hands is so simple, so unexpected, and so appreciated!
Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. and Learn to Laugh.Out.Loud!
