Friday, June 29, 2012

My story in Poetry: Breastfeeding is hard

So, here's what our society doesn't talk about....sometimes breastfeeding is hard.

Everywhere I read about "just always put baby on the breast," no schedule is needed. And usually baby eats every two hours or so, for roughly 20 minutes each side. 

Ha! 


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In the early 8 weeks my babies would eat CONSTANTLY. My routine was eat for 5, 10, 15 minutes, nap for 10 -30 minutes, eat, nap, eat, nap. So I affected my confidence wondering if somethings wrong. I accepted and loved staying home, I don't need to leave to house, or go to target - I'm here just to care for the baby.

As a mother of three, I wanted to nurse all my babies. With each one there was a small problem here or there.... And I wasn't able to EB (expressly breast) feed.

My poem goes into how this was a challenge, but I made it out of those dark few weeks, realizing that just have the baby at the breast is a wonderful feeling in itself. Yes, there are concerns. But let's talk basics. You Are Feeding Your Baby, Offering a Snack, It's Lovely.

My story in Poetry: Breastfeeding is hard


But for now, here's my poetic take on why:

Breastfeeding is hard

Just put the baby on the breast
And make sure you get plenty of rest
Eat an extra 500 calories a day
And drink lotsa water as much as you may.

Rest ? What's that
I'm exhausted all. the. time.
Eating requires cooking
An for that I'd have to hear you whine

Feed the baby on demand,
A schedule is not at hand.
She'll eat at least 20 minutes on each side,
Just go with the feeding tide.

What's this 20 minute thing?
Baby eats only when she's not sleeping,
at the breast, in my arms, but not at night,
I've been up so long I greet the day light.

Watch the baby to show their satisfied,
6-8 diapers a day u what you'll find.
Rest when baby rests, and watch that she IS getting enough.
As your nursing relationship develops.

My baby cries, ....alot.
It's not colic, and it's her, or my frustration. this is tough.
We found the latch sweet spot,
But it doesn't matter when nursings not.

Lean babys head back, nipple to nose,
Get plenty of breast tissue and on she goes.
Chin first, then her mouth,
Nursing shouldn't hurt even if at first it's a little rough.

My DD latches fine at first,
But then suddenly there's a burst.
Off she slides, and pulls down her chin
And suddenly her lower lip flips in..

See a Lactation consultant and get some help,
Don't worry you ARE making plenty of milk.
Take a supplment like fenugreek or domperidone
You'll smell like maple syrup, an through this you are not alone.

I'm taking 15 pills a day,
Pumping like crazy and my milk stays away.
Baby's latching, on a very red nipple and breast.
And my 3 month old is putting me to the test.

Don't give up, your almost there.
Your making milk, and baby's loving your care.
All babies cry? Look at her diapers and weight gain,
Just thinking you don't have milk is making me insane.

What sux is I'm not enjoying my time with you.
I'm stressed and pumping and supplementing but no more milks
coming thru.
But I just don't know how to give up, I keep going on, but for what?
and it's torture not enjoying this time, but I won't quit, I just can not.

Don't listen to those who ask, "is she getting enough?"
"She's so small, this must be rough."
"I can't believe your doing 'that' when you have those other two."
"Give a little formula so she'll sleep for you."

I'm worried, your crying and It's week number 8,
Your not satisfied and you're not gaining weight.
A few ounces is really it, you didn't gain a lot.
But I keep going because wet diapers you have got.

I'm still here nursing, offering both sides,
I've arrived here satisfied knowing I've tried.
You get the antibodies when you drink my gold,
And night nurse, skin to skin it's best I've been told.
And in the daytime hours we use an SNS,
your not hungry and more content at my breast.
This is a happy baby, she feels satisfied,
And doesn't have the hunger inside.

Out getting groceries I can offer you a snack,
Or at my breast you'll take a nap.
A happy baby is what I want,
This is a good place from what I first got.

Yes I'm bummed out this isn't what I planned,
But some nursing's better then none, it's liquid gold In Hand.
It's not my fault you were tongue tied and a pallet that's high,
A recessed chin, argh! I have no more tears to cry!

Breastfeeding is hard, it's a constant attachment.
But your not a failure if you can't tackle it.
Successful moms even say it's hard, having an infant constantly keeping you behind bars.

I don't know where 20 minutes came from,
There's only a pattern in this hum drum.
So give your baby what you can,
let them suckle and feed very often.

Most women who make it past the 6 week mark,
Will make it outta the dark.
And Feel a joy like no other.
For that of an infant and her nursing mother.


2013-05-07 166

My story in Poetry: Breastfeeding is hard

Here I am nursing my baby girl for nap time and my young son plays in the background.

My story in Poetry: Breastfeeding is hard

As a mother of three, I wanted to nurse all my babies. With each one there was a small problem here or there.... And I wasn't able to EB (expressly breast) feed.

With my oldest I was turning his head toward the breast (not aligning ear, shoulder, hip). So he couldn't swallow right...Imagine drinking through a pinched straw. The LC wasn't at the hospital over my weekend delivery and I saw her two weeks later, where I expressed drops... of... milk...

With my second son I was simply freaked out that he was constantly at the breast. I was so concerned he wasn't satisfied...even tho he did sleep after nursing. He wasn't gaining weight "quickly enough," so at two months I started supplementing with a SNS. I also pumped after nursing and took fenugreek (15 pills a day). I also took domperidone for two months, which helped my nighttime supply for sure. We expressly night nursed, which was a satisfying nursing relationship.

Now with baby girl, and a ridiculous amount of reading I was determined to EBF!!! She nursed great in the first few hours. Only lost 7% body weight. This was it, success! But as we left the hospital the LC said she was seriously Tongue Tied. Once home she was gaining 1-1.5 ounces a week. The WHO standard for EB fed babies is 3.5-7 ounces a week. At one week she was clipped. But her lower lip kept turning in, I'd flip it out, she'd flip it in. She has a recessed chin impacting the latch. Then my nipple was lipstick shaped, she also has a high palette and wasn't taking in enough breast or having the nipple hit the roof of the mouth...

Aaaaasrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!

Can you see that I knew what was wrong and I couldn't do much about it. She wouldn't sleep after nursing, and cried the most from all three babies. She was hungry. So we also supplement with the SNS and night nurse. Of course, I also pumped after nursing and took fenugreek (15 pills a day). When I skipped a feeding or night pumped I consistently had two ounces. She suckles to nap and lotsa snacks. She gets the most breast milk, and we have a happy nursing relationship.


Not allowed for reproduction without permission
by Areyousureaboutthatblog author

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poetry: a mother yelling

When I was young, my mother would sometimes just yell. We know bad parenting habits are multi-generational. I don't blame her for yelling. Don't get me wrong I consider my childhood a happy one tho. I understand where these things come from. But as an adult I know the constant yelling made me a quick to anger adult. And I Am Breaking The Cycle.... The Yelling Stops With Me!


Yelling at a price

When I was 15 I'd lay in bed
And send my mom curses, in my head
Sometimes I'd wish her dead
Or some other horrible thing

She'd YELL at me for this or that
Why did you drop your HAT?
You're a such a spoiled brat!
Or some other horrible thing

Now I have three kids of my own
And sometimes I get into that yelling zone
And one day will they'll abandon me, Alone
Or some other horrible thing

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Terminal Illness... Questions for the Doctor

When a family or friend has a serious or terminal illness it can be a scary time. I like to research lots of opinions, learn what questions to ask, and gain perspectives. So then I can write down My Own questions for the doctor.

Many doctors won't disclose more then basic information unless you ASK specific questions.

When our beloved aunt was being treated with high doses of Morphine we realized her pain level must be tremendous!! The doctors kept using the term "Advanced Cancer," yet kept telling her/us keep fighting and keep hope alive.

When her husband (who had a limited education) asked questions, he asked about what he understood - time. All he could understand regarding cancer was ..."how long does she have to live?" the doctors would say "I'm not God, we don't know that answer." We only felt this was difficult, frustrated and worried.

We called a meeting with the doctor and he met with the family after his rounds at the hospital.

Know that if you ask detailed questions the doctor will offer you more information. Be open minded and considerate of the doctor. Be prepared to hear the unexpected. And know considering risks and benefits of treatments may be a relief or may make you feel more stressed.

Here's what we asked:

How well did the last treatment work?
Did the cancer respond to treatment?

What is the current treatment plan? What are the goals?
What are the realistic benefits and risks?
-relieve symptoms, shrink the cancer, control the spread? or live longer?

Is the bowel obstruction reversible?
Are there surgery or stent options? Or gastrostomy tube?

With the naso tube is some type of venting a next step?
What are the Risks and benefits?

What do you mean by advanced cancer?

Is it treatable? Is it curable?

Is remission possible?

Is she terminal?

Is it time to consider hospice care?

What are the benefits or intervention and further treatment at this time?

These questions help you gain additional information to help you make informed decisions for you and yours.

Ideas for Children Gifts... Sorted by Age

Over the years my kids have received some fab gifts, and some not so great ones too... Here's my list that I keep in my phone so it's always at my fingertips when shopping for gifts.

I always try to buy better quality toys made from wood versus plastic. And if it is plastic, we check that it's not cheaply made...

When giving a Shower Gift or a Wedding Gift I keep it simple and give something unique. HOw many tea sets are given now a days? Or baby time capsules for mom? Really unique goes a long way. And give it often - so you dont have to rack your brain for a new gift every time an occasion comes up.

As for the books: Giving Books is critical. Kids need to be surrounded by books inorder to become avid readers. Believe me, give enough books and the kids will start to look forward to them. In the early years, giving rhyming books, or early poetry. Its important to help build the basic skills for phonics and word rhymes - a basic foundation skill to learn how to read.

--Handmade gifts are great!!
I have made thos easy to cut and tie fleece blankets and pillows; painted christmas ornaments; cloth covered composition note books with themes the kids would like (and then used felt pieces to highlight some of the designs & write their names), even the youngest kids like these notebooks; "baking kits" printing out easy kid recipies and gifting the ingredients; art projects: same idea, print out the intructions and gift the stuff; give a bird house to paint, bird seed and paint.

* Buy an experience!!!
- tickets to the zoo, or a family pass
- tickets to the museum,
- tickets to the theatre, especially children's plays!!
- tickets for an activity or play land
- a bowling alley certificate
- make a handmade coupon for an outing to your local ice cream shop
- a date with grandma coupon


These experience gifts are unique and always appreciated! I cannot say enough how far an experience gift goes, truly a wonderful idea.

Where to shop? 

Shop at discount stores: Big lots, TJ Maxx, Marshall's and Ross dress for less always have below retail prices, and they get lots of overstock. Start early, October is a good time for gifts because there is still ample stock.

Shop at Michaels or hobby lobby for craft kits (many available under $10). They carey wood pieces for painting, like the painted bird house idea.


A little blurb on Baby & toddler shoes:  Theres some great kids shoes on the market. Don't but those hard sole shoes for kids. I let my kids be barefoot often when the weathers agreeable. Otherwise, flexibility is great for the kids ability to learn to walk without having to manage bulky shoes. 'Ive discovered Robeez and Flexes shoes. Gifting this to a new mom who hasn't discovered these shoes yet is a neat surprise for her and baby.

Another blurb on BABY SHOWER GIFTS::
I ALWAYS give a book, Touch and feel books, single picture animal books with one word on the page. See my handmade "Starter Library" gift blog post for an amazing unique baby shower gift. Moms get PLENTY of cute baby outfits, but babies want to hear moms voice, give the gift of books.

I ALWAYS give diapers, any size except newborn. Diapers, diapers, diapers!!! Any size.

-- Age 12 months and older outfits are a must (trust me moms get enough newborn cloths). After 9 months the moms shouldn't have to go shopping.

-- Baby ear thermometer

-- Baby rattle and small black and white or hanging safety toys for the stroller.

-- Leap frog caterpillar - a nice musical toy for all ages.

-- Early Rolling ball/ baby crawls to follow it.

-- Leap Frog -  Rex Dog sings with ABC and preschool songs. My 5-year old younger son just rediscovered his and uses the "2-minutes of nighttime music" to fall asleep at night.

-- Solid wood blocks, not painted! High quality wood blocks will see years of fun!


Unique ideas for special Christening or Baptism Gift ideas:
-- buy baby's gown
-- crochet or knit baby's booties and headpiece
-- pay for the luncheon
-- buy babies luncheon outfit
-- make baby's gown from the mothers wedding dress
-- have the same flowers from the wedding on the luncheon tables.

For the Godfather:
--Picture frame engraved "My Godfather and Baby's Name"
--a clock or watch on a chain engraved "Godfather for a lifetime"
-- a silver bookmark, engraved "My Godfathers words will guide me"

For the Godmother:
-- a water globe with an angel inside or a special word, or room for a picture. Engraved with "A Godmothers Love."
-- a mirror compact for her purse, engraved with "Godmothers Guidance" or "My Godmothers reflection"
-- a lipstick case with a mirror inside "A Godmothers kiss and Baby's Name"
-- a silver bookmark, engraved "My Godmothers words will guide me"

Long lasting Wedding gift::
My go to gift is a Crystal vase or Tea set. Young Ladies often dont know theyll need a go to vase for flowers received in their lifetime. And a nice tea set is great when guests pop in for coffee or tea, and to feel a little fancy! (Put that in their note too.)

I love giving unique gifts, and Mothers Day is no different. 

My mother, grandmother, stepmom and aunt all receive a corsage on Mothers Day. So they can feel special wearing it all day, even in casual clothes and sitting around the house.

For mothers day:
--Quote in the card: "Moms, proof that not all super heros wear capes."
--"your insistence on 2 hours homework every night = Name of College. Thanks mom"

Gifts by Age for Birthdays, Holidays, Christmas, and any occasion.

In general I try to stick to quality gifts. My criteria is it is made of wood, or and educational toy or the child is really wanting / collecting that item. I'm not a fan of cheap "throw away" toys!

Age 1::
Books, Books, Books
Give an experience, like a trip to the zoo
Leap Frog Rex talking dog
Leap frog caterpillar singing
Rolling ball
Touch n feel books,
Peek a boo book
Kisses book
Little people Noahs ark
Talking like the rain book - children hearing the rhyming of poems is very good for reading skills development
Nursery rhymes encyclopedia
Eric Carle animal rhyme books
Goodnight moon/Gorilla
Square circle hole set
Hammering pegs wood set
1st wood train
1st wood stacking toys / cups

AGE 2::
Books, Books, Books
Give an experience, like a trip to the zoo
Bubbles!!
Talking phone
Fridge magnets: letters or animals
Leap Frog Word Whammer - Refrigerator Magnet Letters, but better!
Pop up tent
Thick crayons and Coloring books
Wooden Puzzles 4-9 pieces
Wooden musical instruments - zoo instruments
Big wooden blocks
Fire engine talking lights sounds (one of the few plastic toys we love thru age 8)
Wooden Train set
Etch a sketch
Richard Scarrys my first word book
My first Spanish word book
Ceiling hanging night light
Cups with lids, preferably BPA free
Small chair
Balls
Pool
Fun plates - reusable, with animal faces. Preferably not movies.
Mother goose numbers on the loose book
Corduroy, the book and stuffed animal
Wall posters animals
Rocking horse/stick horse
Wooden trucks
Wooden letter blocks
Bathtub letters
A "real" small durable binocular


AGE 3 (plus same as age 2) ::
National geographic magazine. Age 2-3
Give an experience, like a trip to the zoo
(And see experience gifts at the top of this post)
Pop up tent
Lego sets
Pretend play clothes (homemade hero capes and masks are fun).
Finger puppets
Dress up
Bubbles
Ring toss - yard
Wooden Birdhouse kit, buy a birdhouses, acrylic paint, sealer, brush and bag of bird food
Large ball
A "real" small durable binocular
A "real" flashlight, with instructions hand made to "remember to turn me off so I work the next time you want to play." Chair, small for kids
Hard Animal figures
Beading/stringing/lacing set
Pretend play mask, doctor kit or Tool kit
Ninja headband / bandanas or pirate hat (both are for girls options too)
Playdoh set - with cookie cutter shapes, but not the too plastic "creative taken out of it" for you kit. Kids should create on their own, not in premise molds.
Ingredients in a jar for homemade salt dough, "just add water" is on the note.
Wooden Puzzle 10-25 pieces
Wooden Building blocks
Wooden Music instruments
Paint set
Finger puppets
Wall posters of gentle animals
Bed time story book series
Piggy bank with sound
Leap frog (double duty as a reader and magnetic letter) Word whammer fridge alphabet pieces
Paint bird house, paint and seeds
Bug kit - book and jar with holes premade in the lid for kids to collect bugs outdoors.
Kitchen play food kit
Character lunch bag
Seed packet and small kids shovel and gloves for planting. Add a pot for apartment dwellers.

AGE 4 (plus same as age 3) ::
(And see experience gifts at the top of this post)
Books! Theme books on what the child is interested in (Daniel Tiger, Elmo, Construction trucks, etc.) 
Lego set
Animal figurines to pretend play
Cooking aprons
Pretend play
Seed packet and small kids shovel and gloves for planting. Add a pot for apartment dwellers.Finger puppets
Dress up clothes and masks
Early Microscope kit
Birdhouse, acrylic paint, sealer, brush and bird food
Echo microphone or other musical instruments
Dr Seuss series
Crafts kit
Lacing/beading supplies
nail polish
Word whammer magnetic letters/word builder (for the fridge)
Character lunch bag
Play doh

AGE 5 (plus same as age 4) :: 
(And see experience gifts at the top of this post)
Books! Theme books on what the child is interested in (Ninjas, airplanes, a Disney movie, Construction trucks, etc.) 
Real Flashlight, binoculars or and explorer set for a real hardware / sports store.
Sight word books
Materials for simple arts and crafts
House play props such as dishes and a table for parties
School play props such as dry-erase board and worksheets
Simple construction toys and science kits
Skate board with helmet
Early science kits for making safe explosions, fizz and bursts
Simple board and card games, puzzles
A cardboard box cut into a shape of a boat, car or house and a set of markers to color.
A bug kit (have a holes in the top and a net).
Legos
Puzzles with 20-50 pieces

AGE 6 and Age 7::
(And see experience gifts at the top of this post)
Books! Theme books on what the child is interested in (a recent movie, their favorite book/collection, Construction trucks, etc.) 
A calendar in their favorite theme ( like cars, horses, trains and airplanes, even about buildings, or traveling around the world).
A book on making paper airplanes
Kids get more responsible at this age. Helping parents with a responsibility chart might be fun. So would a chia pet (remind kids to water as directed).
Books, chapter books are big at this age.
National geographic magazine
Highlights magazine
Zoo - magazine
Materials for simple arts and crafts
House play props such as dishes and a table for parties
School play props such as dry-erase board and worksheets
Simple construction toys and science kits
Skate board with helmet
Early science kits for making safe explosions, fizz and bursts
Simple board and card games, puzzles
Age-appropriate video games
Dolls and doll accessories
Stuffed animals and puppets
Beginning sports equipment such as balls, golf clubs, t-ball sets, and basketball goals/backboards
musical instruments
Bicycle
Play tents
Swing set or outdoor gym set


AGE 8-9:: (see age 7 as well)
(And see experience gifts at the top of this post)
Books! Theme books on what the child is interested in.
Tickets to a musical/play
Kids theatre / tickets to a play or kids concert
Cooking supplies for cupcakes, cookies
Kids cookbook with supplies
Crafts/models from Michael's
Hoodies
Cool Tshirts 
Face for tree (concrete faces)
Bow and arrow set - when taught proper stance and safety first its a great gift
Soccer nets / sports gear / jerseys

AGE 10-14::
Fleece blanket n pillow
T shirt with a favorite character.
Make a t-shirt with their favorite saying
Fleece theme scarf
Most Dangerous Book for Boys/Girls
Lego building sets (yes still)
Their favorite magazine subscription
Mix cd
Demonata book series
Harry potter book series
Goosebumps book series
Animal encyclopedias
How things work series
Arts n crafts kit
Drawing set
Paint Set
Face for tree (concrete design)
Bow and arrow set
Soccer nets / sports gear / jerseys

Gifts ages 14 and up::

A word about Young Adults and Teenagers: Encouraging passion for SOMETHING is very important at this age (at any age). Following our passions makes for a happier life. Hopefully forming life long love of doing things. Along these lines, kids do have their passions. This teenage years are no different, its just sometimes harder to get the information outta the kid! 

The other thing I have noticed is we often treat teenagers as adults. They are still kids! They still like candy, lollipops, t-shirts, hoodies, and toys! Yes toys! Don't take these last childhood moments and years away from them.

Consider what the child is interested in? Do they love music? Maybe a cool music store gift certificate or itunes gift card?

Do they collect something? Coins, an action figure, model trains / toys? If you don't know which pieces they own already, give a note acknowledging their love of collecting. Include a coupon for a trip with you to go and buy what THEY want to add to the collection. 

I've personally gone online at amazon checking out popular gifts. Remote control helicopters and flying dinosaurs ROCK!

Perhaps a years magazine subscription to what they love - yes even gaming. There really is a magazine for everything available nowadays. Google "magazine" and the key words of interest.

Personal Gifts I have given to older kids:

- A handmade sign, felt covered, says: SKI as room decor for my brother who was a ski fanatic!

- painted a wall mural for a Chicago Bears Fan

- A Mommy-Date Coupon: spent a day with my older son one-on-one mommy date after the youngest baby girl was born. It was 3 hours at a burger lunch and a candy shop. Then we went to the park... Yeah, that easy

- I collect coins all year long for my brothers' coin collection. I just look thru pennies for anything pre-1940 and post 2010 pennies (cause he wanted those). I then felt covered a binder in $ symbols. Inside the binder were coin holder pages. 
Low cost High Value gift!

- I've made felt pillow covers with the material in the theme of the teenager. Sports teams, snowflakes, Favorite colors, etc.

- I found loads of Pokemon cards at the thrift store for my son.

Happy shopping

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud! 
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