What can parents do to help kids with Standardized Test Anxiety ? And now with the PARCC test too.

Standardized testing is a part of our educational system. And ISATs are the current hot topic. But there is a real issue here for me. My son, who usually isn't high anxiety is feeling EXTREMELY anxious about the ISAT. And anxiety is NOT the norm in our home. What can parents do to help kids deal with ISAT anxiety and testing? 

Some parents choose to opt-out their kids from taking the test, Sun Times Article and Progress Illinois. Most parents remain the all frustrating neutral and "do nothing," but I won't stand by and ruin my sons emotional well-being.

Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

My parenting role is summed up in my blog introduction: "...and now I need to teach them some basic survival skills, so my children can be successful adults. These blogs are about my observations in our day to day lives, and how I use them as teachable moments." Are ISATs a teachable moment. NOT really, but they are an opportunity to help with some ANXIETY AND STRESS related coping skills.

I should say my "wife of a Principal perspective" is blended. Obviously I want to support my child and get the best education for them. And I want to support my husband and "tow the line" for the school. Can you say Dilemma? His perspective, while highly trained, and understanding of the "system" and often right, doesn't mean I agree. and so this blog post on my perspective and our home balancing act.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

Here's some facts about ISAT from the CAN TV special presented by Friends of Goethe Elementary called "Is it time to ICE the ISAT."

This is not an endorsement / nor an opposition. Instead I like reading and seeing the issues from all sides. And this is one that is well versed: 

Fact: ISAT data is not used actively in teacher meeting. It's all quantitative. You shouldn't have to count and divide and get percentages to measure projects.

Fact: alternatives AUTHENTIC assessments work: project based, portfolio based, group projects, countless measures exist. These assessments aren't data based but they are real and credible.

Fact: prepping for the test squeezes time out of our school day. Remember the extra hour we fought for to add to our shook day... It's being wasted on ISAT prep.

Fact: teachers are in classrooms 7 hours+ a day with our kids. They know instinctively who "gets it" and who doesn't. We do need to rely on teachers, they are NOT the bad guys.

Fact: ISAT testing doesn't support modern teaching like differentiated instruction. A fill in scanted bubble test DOESN'T support differentiated instruction.  If a student John Doe isn't a good writer, or struggles in reading, ISAT DOES NOT measure his grade level knowledge. Period. 

WHY should parents care? If the above bullet point FACTS and information about the ISAT testing issue IS NOT enough, consider the impact on your child/ren(s) learning and what they LOSE during test prep. 

I think often as parents we "don't know" what we "don't know" (taken from the SWOT analysis) aspects of education system. And that's OKAY, your job isn't to be the expert. But you do need to know the minimum on what's expected: 

1. talk to you Child and 

2. Teachers. You can make a tremendous positive impact to help your child/ren.

This May or May not be you as a Parent: 

My favorite position in all this chatter is most of us, the parent who feels neutral. The no-action parent. The majority of parents aren't "opting out" of the test. The majority are simply going with the flow following the path as dictated by schools. I ask you, the neutral parent to consider your child' classroom. As a parent, I simply like to see what is and isn't happening as they learn. If my child is getting great classroom methods then I will be less stressed about testing.

What is your child/ren LOSING in their education (and sanity) when instead if school work they are working on ISAT test prep?  

• Children aren't working in small groups
• Children aren't working on projects
• Children aren't learning new material
• Children ARE being exposed to anxious teachers
• Children ARE being exposed to teachers pushing them to do well on a bubble test.
• Children should have teachers pushing them to do well on {INSERT ACTIVITY} instead of the mundane and outdated ISST test.
• Children ARE feeling the anxiety if a test that simply ranks them. And this is the man reason I am taking action... With my kids.
• Again remember that extra hour in the school day we all advocated for/against, ya it's being used for ISAT prep.
• The ISAT issue is a beautiful problem, it addresses the problem of bubble test assessments, non-differentiated, non-stimulating, no data benefit assessments.  

Testing issues instead help us opens the conversation about what we SHOULD be doing in the classroom. Read here about Finlands no-assessment high-achieving-students educational system.

and additional scholarly articles on Finland's ed system.

This isn't the individual schools fault, the principals, or the parents on either side. It's an issue in education - how do we measure performance... and so the debate continues.

My (not usually) Anxious Son

So back to how this all started. In NOVEMBER my 3rd grade older son came home telling me "mom, I March we are taking the ISAT test. It's a very important test!" I didn't say much, or ask yet, "what does that mean son" and let it go. Nearly every month his teacher (who in my opinion is not at fault here) would give this same schpeal to the class. Over winter break something triggered him and for 3 days, instead of enjoying time away from school he was already feeling anxious about the test.

My Third Grader started worrying:

"What happens if I don't do well?"

"Will I get a bad grade?"

"Will I stay in the 3rd grade?"

I calmly reassured him, "Nothing will happen." And really nothing would happen. My replies:
"I'm sure you will do well."
"Why are you thinking you'll do badly."
"You get good grades and work hard on your tests and projects. Why would you do worse on the ISAT?"

He said "because it's [the ISAT] more important!" 

What? Now I'm frustrated! The ISAT IS NOT more important then your day-to-day work!! I explained this to him and in an uber calm tone of voice.

Granted this is anecdotal, but my Facebook and Twitter Feed is blowing up with friends and acquaintances from my professional life, consulting career, clients (and yes high school friends) from all races, income levels, and genders, who's kids are having anxiety about this test. This anxiety unites us. This frustration in our kids unites us NEUTRAL parents. 

The pressure Administrators and Teachers feel is bleeding all over our kids. Not in every school but in our last school it did. As adults in the school system they should KEEP QUIET about the "All important" test. Children DO NOT understand the "importance of it." It is Not a measure of children's performance. It is NOT a measure of the children. It is a measure of the Teachers and Administrators success in teaching what has been expected. Thus my frustration. My kid shouldn't be the one to fret or feel pressure. If he IS learning it will be so reflected.

What can Parents DO about the ISATs?

My older sons anxiety about ISAT is completely school driven! So I need to counter balance that anxiety with calm. I am not an overly calm person, so I work INTENTIONALLY to help ease his concerns.

My talking points with my son are below. But in this category - parents can do even more.

STEP ONE: Just one clickSimply sign the petition to end the ISATS - please click here to electronically sign the Scrap the ISAT in Illinois petition at Change.org and the petition is one the RIGH HAND SIDE of the screen. It IS EASY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!

STEP TWO:
I tell my ISAT Anxious son:

• I expect you to do your best on the ISAT.
• I expect you to make mistakes on the ISAT just like we make mistakes in life everyday. (See my philosophy, which educational studies support drive, mistakes ARE how kids learn too).
• Just like with all tests you must get a good night sleep and eat a big breakfast.
• UNLIKE with all tests - this one you can't study for. For this test just do your best.
• The ISAT IS NOT the most important thing in our life. We DO NOT prepare only for the ISAT. You sill have spelling homework, math home links, grammar and reading logs and book reports to complete. Not to mention your responsibilities at home and play time. We will First, work on our homework. Second, study for non-ISAT tests and spelling words. Then, if we have time we will review your ISAT practice sheets. (Since the intention of the ISAT is a measurement of what kids should "know," and my son is overall performing at an A / B grade level, we will focus on our work. That should suffice and I am following the intention of the test. As an aside, we believe in play based learning at home, here is a post on that way of learning in action withy kids and to more information on the subject.)
• If you are struggling with certain concepts, simply "more hard work" isn't enough. We will look at new ways to teach you the concepts you need to learn (work with teacher as needed, but during ISAT). Effort + New Strategies + working Hard.

My job here is to stay level headed about this ISAT test, and help balance my sons life. I don't believe in opting out. Partially because the education system doesn't support it - kids are expected to play quietly in self-directed activities while the rest of the class preps for ISAT.

"Parents should be informed that there will be no alternate instruction 
given during the assessment and that children who are not being assessed 
will be required to engage in a silent, self-guided activity while their 
peers are being tested."

• In addition, in our local neighborhood school we have nearly  ZERO parents opting out. This isn't an issue for my son I have to contend with and be teased by kids because he doesn't participate. Which we will probably not opt out. My son would get the social ramifications, not me.

I take this ISAT anxiety issue - because this is about my son and not the test - and treat is like any other problem we face. I help him cope with it. We talk about it. No he can't simply "blow it off" because in life we can't always run away from the problem. But we can face the problem and talk about options we have to deal with it.

ISATs are taking place next week. Since winter break my sons anxiety level has fallen... Leaps and bounds. He's still anxious, but on a scale of 1 (low) - 10 (high) he said he's about a 2 or 3. That's great with me! Again it's an important test for the school, therefore not HIS priority. He should try to do well, but it's not career ending is he fails. 

Original post February 25, 2014

Make Mistakes. Breath, reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud

The Problem with Being the Youngest in the Class

I recently watched a dateline episode on "Red Shirting." Parents who intentionally hold their kids back a year in school so they have an advantage in sports an academics.

Which spurred yet another repeat of the conversation at home: should we hold our son - the youngest in the class - back a school year. In theory his grades, and overall school progress would improve, but would he benefit from it?

My oldest son is an August baby. Fabulous and easy fun in the sun birthday party joy, compared to my other two winter babies. We have a few friends in the yard and in the baby swim pool = a done and done party. School selection and deciding whether or not to hold him back since he'd be "THE youngest" in the class = ??? Errr Hugh ummmm??

I wasn't familiar with the term "Red Shirting" or even considering holding my son back due to his age. Nor did I know that IS an option.

The same scenario continued in First and Second Grade. And this year, mid-year in second grade we considered (well discussed) holding him back, possibly repeating the class. The teacher brought to us some of her concerns of his slow progress in reading and math. That is a parent teacher post that - if this subject resonates with you - please read here... Because in some cases, it could be a teacher dynamic that's part of the problem!

Here are some things to consider before holding your child back a school year: (BTW, an Update to our story is here...)

Let's Consider:

-- Let kids grow and learn at their own pace.

-- When I told my mom my concern Older Son wasn't writing well. She shared with me that in Poland children did not start writing until second grade around age 7 or 8. However they knew how to tie their shoes and they knew all the preschool songs in those early years. Sometimes our priorities change, and that's what were living through in our generation. The education system is changing and priorities are reading and writing, in preschool even!!

-- Some of the kids and my sons class are a whole two or three years older than he is. Now in the second grade there are some boys that are just towering over him. He is age 7 and some of those kids will be turning age 10 before the end of the school year. To me I don't want him being the biggest boy in class because in fourth and fifth grade because then his friends will tease him the opposite direction "why are you here" & "why are you in the next grade?"

-- It's a fact of life, schools have to measure, they have to evaluate, and one way to do that is by comparing the students even though they're not supposed to and they just supposed to look at the students and individual capacity. But when you have nine-year-old in a majority seven and eight-year-old class they throw off the curve. Clearly they're gonna do things better and quicker in class. So that's another big factor to re-considering when the teacher says "he's not keeping up with the class," well how was he doing in HIS own abilities. I Always tell my kids "do your very best."

These aren't excuses, these are facts of life. And they're all things that we need to consider when evaluating how well her children are doing in school. So I'm always going to remember these factors when I sit down and talk with the teacher.

Let's Remember Every Year with the Next New-To-Me Teachers:

-- He does have to do the work, he does have to do well. It might take him a little longer to get a concept, and we might have to do a little bit of extra work at home, in order to really learn what's being done in school. In our case we've observed is at a learning curve of about a half year, by the mid-school year he's back on pace with the class. Because of his age.

-- We don't want our son to lose his true curiosity and "love of learning." If we move him back a year and retain him and keep him to be maybe more within the middle of (age) the pack, instead of the youngest in the class, we don't want him to lose his hunger for learning. We don't want him basically to be bored in class. And we saw those "older kids" in class thru the later years have major issues in class frequently disrupting, not sitting in their seats, they are bored out of their minds with the content. That's another big reason for us.

What we've lived through:

In first grade teasing by some of the older kids was quite a big issue. He didn't know how to handle those situations. Read our big boy post here. And I'm finding as I observed the children playing that bigger kids do tend to pick on younger kids, just because they can. So that's a quite a bit of work and resolution and mentoring our son to let them know that sometimes kids are just mean.

-- Also on younger kids in class emotional development is lagged. Along the lines of teasing comes some emotional development factors that play a role in the class. Being the youngest means sometimes you can't handle things as well as the other kids, you get tired faster during the day. My son was still napping after half-day kindergarten at age 5. It's just something that's a part of who he is. My second son doesn't nap during the day as often as my older one did and he doesn't ask for it the way the older one did. Each child's different and unique and that needs to be taken into consideration, including their emotional development. (My oldest sons in second grade now and at pick up I still witness some total tantrums and meltdowns by his classmates. So the emotional component with boys can't be ignored. I can't stress enough how labeling emotions (helping him process his feelings) helps to get us through being the youngest in the class. Read more here.)

Update: End of the School Year

So where are we now? It's the end of the Year, we have completed second grade, and my son is doing ridiculously well. Everything except penmanship. Penmanship has significantly improved. But by no means is he a calligrapher. Our standard is that the "teacher has to be able to read the work." It has to be clear and legible enough that she can see if it's a number nine or a four? We're working on the new standards-based report card so he is getting all two's, mostly three's. And on his science and social studies test he's getting that "going beyond" question and four's on the test. This compared to the beginning of the year which was mostly one's and some two's when he came to comprehension. (I was also super stressed about his grades at the beginning of the year.)

One more quick item, my son is pretty intelligent. He's a problem solver. When issues arise in class you could see his little wheels turning in his brain on how to fix the problem. He has tremendous knowledge of animals their habitats and their species. Uses scientific words correctly as well. So you can tell a little bit of the type of household we run by this information.

That's another big factor in our decision WHY I'm not "holding them back" a grade. He gets "it (insert subject here)." He gets the concepts in class & he gets the schoolwork to be completed. Our school uses the basal system, so there studies are all based on worksheets and after a few months are BORINNNNNG !!! Yeah I hate to say it, some factors of school are boring, including some issues we had with the teacher. See the post here about his teacher. But he still needs to do well in school!!

So remember as a parent don't be quick to jump to conclusions. Sit down talk it out with your spouse, partner or trusted family members and friends. Get perspectives from other people before you make a decision. Because schools serve the majority. They want students to go with the flow and not be needing any special attention or added needs. Schools will want to push you into what's best for them and what's easiest for the teachers, Not necessarily what's best for the child. I hate to say that but it's just true. And it's not a criticism of schools, how would a school operate if they didn't have standards for kids to follow, nothing would get done. So just remember advocate for yourself. And your child.

An Update to this story is here.

"The days are long, the years are short"

 Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect, revise. And Laugh.Out.Loud.

What to ask at Parent Teacher Conference

Ever wonder what to talk about at Parent Teacher Conferences. Especially discussion that is beyond the standard "how is s/he doing in class?" After doing some homework of my own, here are two questions that will easily get you a better answer then the standard  "s/he's doing well."


Two Questions to ask your child/ren's teachers at Parent-Teacher Conferences:

1. What will my son/daughter learn by the end of the school year?

2. What should we be working on at home?
Details about these questions are below.


Couple of tips for a successful Parent Teacher Conference.

1. Listen! This is the hardest one. As parents we are often overflowing with pride (or hiding under the desk) after what we hear from the teacher about our children. This is the Teachers time to TELL YOU about what happens with your child in THEIR classroom. I understand you might hear things you do not like. But try not to instantly "defend" your kid - or make excuses. First really try to see things from the teachers perspective. (Dont stop reading until you see Step 3.)

2. Acknowledge that you heard what the teacher said. This doesn't mean you agree. It just means you understand their concern/point.
- (If necessary) Tell the teacher you will discuss this topic with your child at home, then you can ask if you can set up a separate Conference at a later date if you still need to talk about your/their concerns later.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


3. Try to be open and understanding. Stand out from the rest of the parents and don't be defensive about your child. Sometimes (surprisingly) our children act differently in the classroom. Regardless of why, my normally polite and outgoing child was relatively quiet (and rude) in class. Which can positive and negative, but how will I know if I don't listen to the teacher and try to understand.

4. Say Thank You to the Teacher. This teacher spends a lot of time with your child, and is hopefully addressing your kids needs. Depending on school before care and after care, teachers spend anywhere from a typical 7 hour school day with our babies to a whopping 10 hours... Say thanks - it can't hurt.

5. The teacher is nervous too (maybe). Even the most veteran teacher gets butterflies at parent teacher conferences. Every year its a new group of parents, a new batch of kids. So remember, you and the teacher might feel the same way. And you are there for the same reason, your little one.

These questions are suitable to ask not only the Lead teacher but also the specials teachers, including art, music, etc. Schools don't always habe a sign-up time with these additional yet equally important group, therefore seek them out. (Emails a great way to set up times in advance.)

Where should my child be in his school work at the end of the year?

Some answers you are looking for will include the major goals for the class by the end of the year. In Kindergarten, perhaps they should be able to write their first and last name legibly or have memorized 150 sight words. In 3rd grade teachers may look for essay writing skills or memorized the Multiplication table 0 thru 12. Many "goals" and things that our kids are learning are based on State standards (which is addressed briefly below). Obviously as schools integrate the 2010 Common Core legislation, those standards take precedence.

Be prepared to get a wide array of answers too. Some teachers may pull out the "guidelines" for the class showing you exactly what the kids learn week to week. My sons Spanish teacher showed me her lesson chart showing colors and numbers will be learned in the next two weeks and learning about animals in the upcoming month. She also reviewed the objective of the class (for our school it was) "exposure to a second language and not fluency."

Other teachers may simply answer with "here's what we a working on now (counting money or journaling) and by the end of the year "he should be able to write his first and last name legibly."


State Standards and Classroom Objectives

Most states have "state standards" which are the minimum in learning goals and objectives children need to have gained in their grade for that school year. These goals are organized by daily lessons, weeks, quarters, and through the end of the school year.  Your individual school, public, private, charter or otherwise will have additional standards to meet in their schools mission and vision. For example, a vocational school will have labor related tasks and concepts the students need to learn, where a catholic school has additional religious concepts the students learn.


What should we be working on at home? Or what can I do after school to help reinforce what's being taught at school?

This question serves a two fold purpose. First: it shows the teacher that you are interested and responsible in aiding in your Childs education. Homework (and after school study time) is critical to build healthy study habits and to reinforce / review what was learned at school during the day. (Homework however, in the Primary years, is not for learning new ideas. See this blog post where re-teaching math at home WAS WORKING, when it shouldn't have.) Secondly, this question helps to make sure the parent and teacher are "on the same page" regarding what work should be done at home.


It takes a village.... And It Looks Like Pieces of a Pie

Look, we all know that it takes a village to raise a child. I always explain my children's learning for me equates to how you view slices of a pie to equal a whole. A whole pie has many slices: one for what is learned in school, one for what we learn on the playground, one for home learning (which includes manners, self care, and reinforcing school learning at home). Other pie slices are other family members time and what kids learn (with grandparents, aunts, uncles), time with friends/outside/park, vacations and leisure time (yes, kids are always learning), and the "accidental learning" or teachable moments. Of course there's more then this simplicity to teaching and learning, and them add that we are also raising a child. Talking to their teachers is another piece of your child's learning pie - everyone plays a part in the schooling of our children - including you.

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and  Laugh.Out.Loud