Intellectual Isolation, and Stay at Home Mom Boredom Syndrome

Time flies. I empathize with moms I see, because I remember.

As I once posted in a poem, I'm not one of the stay at home mom's who likes to gossip. I don't share my private family details just to fill the time and talk about something, anything, while waiting to pick up my kids at school. I "don't cackle with the hens."

How can I keep to myself and NOT seem like a prude? Or worse, a snob! I am not, really. I just don't idle chit-chat. I like to talk about travel, politics, humor, books, kids activities, abilities, current events, cooking and meal planning... I like talking about subjects that take more than 5 minutes. And no - I do not like to gossip. Period.

Well, being so reclusive in my younger years as a new mom had an unexpected side effect.

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Of course I talk to people, I say hello, talk about perhaps a recent activity, or place we visited or ran into someone at. But I don't stand around talking about the teachers, the kids, or the issues. That's the kind of "gossip" I don't partake in, unless its with my grandmother or my mom - just a little.

I always say hello to my neighbors and smile, but I don't stop to chat, instead I keep walking. Some conversation have turned and when they do it's about so and so and when they did such and such.... I don't want to hear the gossip of this teacher or that. And frankly it isn't any of our (or my) business! 

And so with this non-gossipy, don't wanna chit-chat about nothing approach to life causes an unusual side effect.

Intellectual Isolation and Stay at Home Mom Boredom Syndrome

The stay at home mom syndrome many of us feel. This Isolation from other adults, from the mental stimulation we get when we "work" with others or "on the job." This mental or Intellectual Isolation causes a sadness sometimes, a lack of motivation, and even irritation. 

My kids in the distance. Picnic Lunch. A large open space feeling of Isolation.

But this can be overcome.

I know my staying home with the kids is drawing to a close. When my baby girl starts school I am going back to work, and I am ready for that. I enjoy working, I enjoy being engaged and making a difference. I also like spending time with adults and having a higher level thinking process and conversation. As a result of knowing things will change, I treasure this time, yes even when I feel blah, because I know it isn't forever!!! I will be on a new path within two years or so.

Okay, I'm also an optimist. So when I do have a project, or a craft, task or mission I enjoy the work. I don't complain about the task with my kid/s. When I made the school musical costumes a mom from the previous year STILL complained to me about how hard it was, so time consuming, "I know what your going thru she said."  No, no you don't! I FELT INSPIRED, Motivated, thrilled to be "working" in the theatre (my passion). The kids we're so responsive to my help. They would get one piece of their costume and were transformed in their performance on stage. Knowing that the kids totally appreciated my work, and watching the leads "become their character" as they wore those costumes I Made - was a powerful feeling! I was proud, pleased with my work (yet, of course still critical on how I could've done this or that detail even better if I had more time). No worries because I will have another chance with the next show.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

When I lack adult conversation and spend my whole day with kids, my brain seems to function at a lower level. I find myself loosing words and not able to find that one specific descriptive word and find myself explaining things instead. When writing this blog, I stepped away to make coffee when trying to remember the word "analysis." [I do blog to keep my brain engaged in higher level order thinking an to help me process my day/s so it's not all one big blur.]

Surprisingly, on some days the craftiness seems to bubble over where I am finding inspiration often for crafts. Perhaps this is how my brain stays engaged?  By finding ways to push itself, resulting in creativity?

I watch documentaries and have stuck with my commitment to read my National Geographic magazine every month. I try to read the books on my reading list... But that isn't as easy. I cant get my brain to get into the book. For some reason I can't focus in as well as  I used too.

During the day, while I am cooking lunch or dinner, I find myself binge watching shows on Netflix. Afterwards I will read a few bloggers analysis online about the episode and then I think thru my perspective. I think this "mental exercise" also keeps my brain stimulated.

What crap nonsense is that? Binge watching and later "thinking about" the characters or plot is improving or challenging my brain?? I don't know this for a fact, but I do find myself being more creative with little problems throughout the day after this "think about it" exercise. I have found myself staying calmer with the kids, addressing their needs and answering them with appropriate problem solving techniques. Forget about it when it comes to my crafts, I have become super crafty with quick inspirations and ideas flooding my brain! 

I didn't blog about making our school musicals costumes, but in 12 days I was amazed at the quality of costumes I made --- with no former experience! Unless you count my kids halloween costumes thru the years! 100 kids dressed, and fit to their characters, and more then just colorful t-shirts. Yaay! I can only assume that trying to remain intellectually stimulated helped the fire of creativity!

Originally Posted in 2012.

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Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Crushed Inspirations in the form of a House Guest

On December 18, 2015 a gift basket greeted our house guest! Our 13-year old cousin from Guatemala received: a teddy bear, Spiderman slippers, a national geographic kids (his reading level since his primary language is Spanish), a pair of longjohns to prepare for the Chicago cold and a journal I made him with his name on it and an American Eagle background. 

In my fantasy brain he was going to write a few sentences everyday on the variety of activities we will do... Like I had done when we visited Guatemala in 2000 and 2002 and 2003. And he would of course have said "Thank You" for the considerations for his comfort and feeling at home.

Nada - zilch - zip - zero - zippo! My shock and horror to the experiences that would follow. Okay, he wasn't a little terrorist, but this teenager put my to work on my parenting skills that I thought were pretty darn good. I approached this situation with humor, creativity and occasionally, in the later weeks I showed my emotion and tears so my sweet cousin could see I was genuine, human, and not always a rock.

As for this post, I am reminded that I enjoy blogging. I enjoy keeping this e-journal for myself documenting and reflecting on the issues that face me as a mom. Blogging has helped me process through issues and child hood matters, which in turn, I hope is helping make me a better mother. But my writing inspiration came to a screeching halt in the form of a teenager! Our 2-month house guest.

Who knew mild disrespect, cave like hibernation and incessant COMPLAINING could lead me to stop doing what I love. Teenagers have powers beyond there own understanding. The ability to whittle us down to core emotions, and without all their effort wear down our intellectual ability.

Its T minus 3 days to his departure and I'm feeling like me again. It took me this long to "break" some of our dear 14-year old cousins bad habits and bring him over to our side of reality. As with most kids, I think hes a hood boy, however his own alienation into PS4 games and you tube videos All.Day.Long. Created a monster! A child who uses minimal vocabulary, who is BORED without high level intense stimulation that video games provide. Going for a walk, or theatre and dinner at Medieval Times wasn't enough to squish his boredom. Even worse, movement over 20 minutes cause muscle pains in his legs and arms.

Over the course if the last few weeks  I learned A LOT about teenagers, my feelings about parenting in difficult circumstances, and handling a house guest who needs to be "retrained" to respect adults. This experience of tending to our cousin during his 2 month visit here has prepared me for my own teenagers who will be here sooner then later... And I hope I can muster the strength to make the changes I SEE we MUST do NOW, to prevent frustration - for them and us parents - in the future. 

What I am planning the the stories and things that happened will make their way to this blog... For now I am happy to have found my writing voice again and to get my house back. Older son keeps saying he's so happy to get his Bed back!

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud 

After watching PBS Baby Girl wanted to Bake a Cake, When Inspiration Strikes

You can't run away from kids when inspiration strikes! And it strikes often. So as a parent we need I decide are we going to squash their curiosity because "No, not now honey, mommy a busy..." Or take the other path and make their desires happen.

We chose the latter. However not instantly. And it really doesn't matter when you do the activity kids want, just make sure you do it. That same afternoon is better then the next day, simply because the inspiration may pass and become DisInterest ... But try, that's what's important to keep kids learning.

(Bonus: our New York Style cheesecake recipe is listed here at the end of the page.) Mommy was writing insect labels in the kitchen, so when I finished "my job" I was gonna help bake a cake. Mommy clarified that even tho it was Daniel Tigers birthday, it's not baby girls birthday. She wanted a chocolate cake, however mommy didn't have chocolate cake ingredients. But we could make a flan or a Cheesecake. "Ooo mommy I love cheesecake!" Luckily mommy does too.

After watching PBS Baby Girl wanted to Bake a Cake, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr

We pulled out our ingredients, and since I recently got I rid of our microwave (since the last button -One Minute - finally died) we have loads of counter space! Baby mixed in the graham crackers and butter. She poured the ingredients mommy measured into the food processor. She also pushed all the buttons, which was her favorite part.... Until she got to lick the spoon.

After watching PBS Baby Girl wanted to Bake a Cake, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr

When inspiration strikes, enjoy the moment and hopefully get a special treat out of it. 

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New York Style Cheesecake

Original recipe makes 1 9-inch springform pan 
15 graham crackers, crushed
2 tablespoons butter, melted

4 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
1 1/2 cups white sugar
3/4 cup milk
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
Check All Add to Shopping List

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9 inch springform pan.

In a medium bowl, mix graham cracker crumbs with melted butter. Press onto bottom of springform pan.
In a large bowl, mix cream cheese with sugar until smooth. Blend in milk, and then mix in the eggs one at a time, mixing just enough to incorporate. Mix in sour cream, vanilla and flour until smooth. Pour filling into prepared crust. Wrap springform pan in foil. Make a water bath for cheesecake.

Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour. Turn the oven off, and let cake cool in oven with the door open  for 1. Then cool in fridge in springform pan for additional 3 hours; this prevents cracking. Chill in refrigerator until serving.

((In our pics you can see a can of sweetened condensed milk (which is basically milk and sugar) leftover from our Spanish style Mango smoothie. We added half a can and guesstimated milk and sugar. I assumed it was roughly worth 1/4 cup milk and 1/4 cup sugar, reducing the ingredients accordingly. After running the food processor we tasted the batter for sweetness and texture. We could always add more milk or sugar if needed, which it didn't.))
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Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

My Daughter was Inspired by a Beading Game...so we made One at Home

We found an easy toddler inspiration at my young sons preschool. While waiting to pick up younger son, we helped ourselves to the game shelf in his classroom (which his teacher said was okay for us). The teacher had great ideas, including this one. Simple pipe cleaner, and a bag of beads. We replicated this activity at home.

The simplicity of it is genius, and I am amazed that months later this beading fun is STILL exciting at our home. I created a bin, similar to the teachers, and baby girl has access. She lets me know when she warns to play (and while I'm reasonably not afraid shell eat the beads, I make sure I'm with her when we do this activity), and we start. My older and younger son even love this game and they play often. And the boys have added, on their own, patterning ideas, counting, and other ways to change up the beading. 

You can see the teacher had number labes on the pieces of pipe cleaner as a counting game.

So fun, so easy. Made with supplies and Tupperware we had on hand at home.

Just paying attention to what my little toddler wanted, and her interests, inspired all of us, including her two older brothers. Kids CAN teach us about what they like to play, learn about, an where their ability levels are.

Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

When Inspiration Strikes during a Trivia Game.... Learning can be so fun!

Such a simple learning experience, and mom just had to connect the dots. 

We were playing a trivia card game and the question came up about the Taj Mahal. My Older son had learned about the Taj Mahal at school. I told him that his grand mother had visited there and he should ask to see the photos when he visits her. Then...

I remembered we had famous landmark cards near the kitchen table. And of course there was a photo if the Taj Mahal.

Why is this sort of connecting the dots important? The brain forms new synapsis when ever we make connections. Even loose connections. I'll certainly post again on this when we start holding our "in depth studies" at home to continue our learning process ... But for today, we shared everything my older son knew about the Beautiful Taj Mahal, including HIS summer suggestion for us to go there. And we also know that the best way to retain what he learned is by "teaching others." it was a great moment for me to live this experience, and see my sons pride while sharing.

Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud

Creativity in Kids: Inspiration is Everywhere, If Parents Let Them Lead

My young son was inspired today... on his own. My mom job was to help him get the necessary parts. The cup he's holding in a musical instrument. His "guitar drum." He's been telling me all week his classmate Sean is having a "musicians theme birthday party" and "I just have to pick what instrument I want to have mom."

Creativity in Kids: Inspiration is Everywhere, If Parents Let Them Lead, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I didn't receive any invitation to said party. However it's a frequent topic at home lately. So today we were watching Curious George on PBS and it's was an episode where a colleague of the man in the yellow hat made an instrument. Then the commercial break showed kids making their own instruments from bowls, pots, cups, and the almighty multi purpose rubberband!

Here's my sons guitar drum. Wearing his ninja headband, because at nap time we read Magic Treehouse Night with the Ninjas.

To learn more visit my blog at areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com

Paper Chain Links Project to Help "Count Down" our Return

My husband and I are going on a Once on a Lifetime trip Overseas. I am having major anxiety at the idea of being away from my kids for two weeks. Especially considering I haven't been away from them longer then 1 to 2 nights!! So to help them cope with missing us we are making a "Count the Days" paper link chain. I don't know yet what will help me cope with missing them?

We kept this project super simple, so we don't drag out the longing and missing that will be going on. We kept it positive and used the crafting time to talk about our feelings and the fun things they will be doing at grandmas house.

What you need:

-scrap paper, we used colorful construction paper
-kids scissors, one per child
-markers and crayons
-a ruler
-a pencil
- a glue stick

Mom used the ruler to draw out straight lines on the long side of the paper - roughly 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch wide pieces. Each child would get a piece and start cutting along the line. My 7 year old son showed me his "creative wave cuts" he learned in art class. The 4 year old cut the same wave lines, however unintentional.

areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com cutting our paper strips

areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com cutting our paper strips

Then my oldest and I wrote "messages" to each other and the things as dictated by my younger son. They each colored "art" onto 1-2 strips as well.

areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com writing our messages

Last we glued the paper strips into loops with the words facing out. Then I explained to the boys that Each day we are away from them they will rip off one loop and read the message.
 
*Little MATH BONUS *:
- We needed to count on the calendar how many links, or many days, mom and dad will be away.
- Then we started cutting the strips, and half way thru cutting, we "guesstimated how many more we would need."
- I explained that after they rip off one link, they can "count how many days are left until mom and dad return from their trip."
- Another math bonus is the kids started measuring the length of the chain compared to their height.

Areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com starting to measure our Paper Chain

- Then we estimated how many links it would take to get to their respective heights. It was a wonderful sidebar of learning.

What my kids don't know is I included a fun activity message in two of the strips to encourage they (and grandma) have some extra fun. One strip has a "nature scavenger hunt" (inspired from Pinterest) activity paper clipped in and the other tells them to use there glow sticks that night.

Some of our messages/reminders to each other and include:

"I wonder if mom bought my Japanese Fan and Sumo Wrestler toy yet?"
"Baby girl, don't pull your brothers hair!"
"Mom, we love you!"
"Go on a Nature Scavenger Hunt! Mom included your checklist."
"We probably miss our Babcia and Ciocia at home, let's call them and see how they are doing."
"Mom and Dad Love you and Miss You Bunches! We can't wait to see you soon!"
"Go to the beach today. And if you did already/did that yesterday, then go eat ice cream instead."

Areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com Surprisingly a wonderful coincidence,
the Paper Chain is as tall as my young son.

I am certain we will all enjoy our time away from each other. And I will certainly enjoy returning home to my darling kids. In the meantime, I think this Paper Chain will keep them remembering a fun project with mom!

 

"The Days are Long, the Years are Short."

Toilet Paper and Telescopes

It's our first day of summer vacation!! I woke up to happy kids watching cartoons and enjoying their self poured cups of apple juice. I needed to change baby girls diaper and I already had her in the changing table but I didn't replace my toilet paper roll. I don't use baby wipes, instead it's a squeeze bottle rinse (read more here) on a few squares of Toilet Paper.

So I asked my older son to fetch me a roll. "Mom when your done, make sure you save me the roll so I can make a telescope." Flashback to two days ago, I was packing a huge mirror gift for my cousins 40th birthday party and used up the remaining roll of wrapping paper. And I didn't toss the inner cardboard roll. I put that in the kitchen near our craft station - knowing we'd need it sooner or later. Little did I know how soon.

I told him where he can find the ideal size telescope roll, and he and his brother felt inspired to create.


areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com

I love when these boys make something from their imagination. This telescope will be around for a few days. They usually make a craft, play with it that day, use it the next day, maybe end up outside playing with it, and after 1-2 weeks it'll be found, completely used up :-) To Mom's complete satisfaction too.


"The Days are long, the Years are Short"

Kids Create on the own Inspired Time

One of the BEST pieces of advice I received for my toddlers "creative growth" was to have craft materials be accessible. When kids feel inspired they want to instantly produce what's in their minds eye. My older sons preschool teacher gave us parents a welcome packet with a wonderful article about kids creativity.

So we now have a craft station. This shelf is in out kitchen with he kids art materials fully accessible. When they feel inspired to create the don't have to ask for their paper and crayons. Today, my younger son felt inspired.

Here he is creating and his final art work.

This same preschool teacher had the kids journal every two weeks or so. The kids would either get an alphabet letter they write and then draw things that start with that letter sound or listen to a story they can draw about and retell in their journal. Usually it's their favorite scene or a continuation of the story.

After the drawings completed, kids bring up their art to the teacher who writes a word for the objects the kids point out ". with the story project the kids dictate a story (if applicable) in addition to the object labeling.

Tips:

You art station can be as simple as a basket with paper and crayons that always kid accessible. This is how I Started.

Look around the House, I am certain you have items (pens, pencils, scrap paper) readily available.

Sit with your child the first time they draw. Don't interrupt them in their thoughts. But when their done ask questions like: "this is beautiful, can you tell me what's happening here?" And "what is this scene about?"

Date and sign the art. We have a folder I can sort thru later when we decide what goes into our keepsake folder.

Good luck, an happy crafting!

"The days are long, the years are short."

Activities with Kids: Poetry

The Story Behind the Poem:

We often do some very impromtu activities with our kids. and sometimes their creativity, with a sprinkling of ideas from mom, can inspire a great activity.

My 7 year old son came home from school saying that after homework was done he wanted to write a poem. "What kind of poem?" I asked. "I don't know yet" he said.

We went about tending to our responsibilities - he has to change his clothes, unpack his backpack and lunch bag, feed the dog and eat a snack. Then 30 or so minutes of play and straight to start homework. But today was so incredibly, unseasonably warm and beautiful, we stopped at the park for our play time.

For homework he had to study for his science test. At the end of the study packet was a little activity for the family. There was a list of words about natural resources including: natural resources, minerals, recycling, erosion, sand, weathering, boulder and pollution. The activity said we should include these words in our everyday language. We are a nature, outdoorsy, kind of family so we use this vocabulary often. I asked him perhaps to consider that for his poem we should use the words in the list, and mom will write a poem too?

We decided we would see how many words we could use up in one poem. He had a little trouble with rhyming, but then told me his teacher said a poem doesn't have to rhyme. At age 7, he's going through a very competitive phase. So he said yeah "let's see who writes the best poem." I said "it's not about the best poem, it's about seeing how we use the same words in our poetry but each poem will be very different."

Here are our poems: 

with the titles added after we finished writing and reading them aloud to each other.


Natural Resources by Older Son, age 7

When I look up into space I see a boulder at the beach I see sand it tickles my feet.

I see a recycling factory on the way to Indiana.

To not pollution the earth I do not throw stuff on the ground.



Moms Poem: 

Nature Was Talking to Me

As I stood on the mountaintop,
I looked upon a special spot,
where the air, sand and sea,
felt like they were talking to me.

These natural resources are ours,
just like when you see the stars. Weathering is nature's way,
of taking some poisons away.
Erosion doesn't have to be,
the way you take her away from me.

Pollution is a danger,
Recycling is no stranger.
Use a boulder to build your home,
but replace trees when you roam.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Easy Kids "Project Time" from Magazine Clippings

This is absolutely one of our favorite go to projects. I've been doing this since my oldest son was 2 or so. It's evolved into a full on fun fest at our house whenever we feel artsie.

As a new mom I used to get all these baby magazines and direct mail. So I started keeping them and occasionally clipping out the pictures. Leftover ribbon and string from various packaging also made the must keep list. I had a plastic shoes size storage container available where we keep our cut outs.

In the same bin goes:

- a pair of kids scissors
- a glue stick
- an Elmer's white glue bottle
- a pen and marker
- stickers (especially "leftovers")
- clippings from magazines
- ribbon and string remnants from food and gift packaging, etc.

To start:

We get a piece of scrap paper and my youngest son by the 3rd time doing this activity between age 2 or 3 liked to completely cover the page with glue. The older son was more selective glueing each picture. Mom helps unscrew the glue bottle. He still puts the glue stick glue on the wrong side of the clippings, on the side he wants to show. Ha! He gets frustrated when it doesn't stick sometimes. With the youngest son we stick with Elmer's.

Open the box and Rock n Roll time.. Sometimes I encourage a theme, all babies, finding a color, animals, dogs, or shapes... You get the idea. I let them pick the pictures and glue them on, cut them up, upside down, covering other pictures already glued, explore... explore!! We love project time.

For keepsake I write the artists name and date. When it's time to filter thru the art wall I put the best pieces, mine and my kids favorites, in their smash book.

The googlie eyes are the newest sensation with my 3 year old. My favorite too - so funny!!

Have fun with your artist in the making!