My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.
When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.
Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.
Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.
If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.
UPDATE: 2012 - 4 years later
If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine - where the kids DO WATCH SOME T.V.!
After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.
Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.
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THE ORIGINAL POST ::
Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule
I remember the first day I brought my newborn son home. Sheer exhaustion of course, happiness that I couldn’t put into words, only into tears. My husband took family leave from work to spend 3-weeks at home with our new son and helping mom assimilate to this “new world.” And then I remember the first day my husband went back to work, at 6:00 a.m. I looked at my son on the changing table and thought, “What am I going to do with you now?”
It’s been a few years since that day. And today I can say that “routines” make our world go around. Of course my son gets some TV or video game time. But it is limited to less then one-hour per day., if that much. I know, freakish right? Especially when I watched 3-4 hours a day growing up. But I realized early on, there is so much to do, and not watching TV lets us accomplish so much more in our lives.
You can jump ahead to the schedule I included in this blog, but I wanted to share a brief story first. The cornerstone of our family schedule is outside time. So to avoid potential issues in my home – outside time has become critical.
Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can google it for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. As you may know we are facing an epidemic in our country with childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, etc., etc., etc. In our home, there are many days we don’t even watch TV because – as you will see from the schedule below – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they don’t become bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic byproduct, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!
A Quick Story about outside time
My grandmother who lives around the corner, would stop by often, just on check on us, leave some food, and head home. It was under her advice that I had done the BEST thing I could ever do for my kids. She would tell me everyday “Take that baby outside, everyday for at least 20 minutes.” My Babcia, that’s grandmother, is from Poland – and when she was raising her kids life was much simpler because frankly everything took so much longer to do! But he kids were always healthy, and I am happy to say mine are too. She would say “those cheeks need to be rosy, and breath the fresh air.” Fresh air? I live in an urban area so fresh means not the air that you sit in, at home, all the time.
The No T.V. Schedule: 6:30 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.
Below I have listed what I have arrived at for our current schedule. And the key word is arrived. My son is 5-years old now, so over the course of the last 5 years there have been some decisions I made along the way that helped become the foundation of our family schedule. And I thought it may be helpful to share with parents how we accomplish a “No T.V. schedule.” In another post I will note some short stories on how this schedule came to be – and those “decisions” we all make along the way of childhood.
Note: This is a flexible schedule depending on the day, what we need to accomplish, etc. But this schedule is a guide – and we are usually within 15-20minutes of the times listed here. Unless its summer time, then we are outside all the more.
6:45 a.m. Get up for school.
By the time my day begins, my husband has usually left for work already. If my son is not awake I walk into his room singing our “Good Morning Song.” This is a gentle way to start the day pleasant and not abruptly. Bathroom responsibilities: including brushing our teeth. He gets himself dressed for school (the clothes were laid out the night before on his bed-side chair).
Mom dresses the baby (his 4 years younger brother) and herself and we head down for breakfast.
7:00 a.m. Breakfast table (Notice, we are NOT putting cartoons on).
He grabs his Kindergarten Site Words list and gives it 1-2 reviews. Afterwards he grabs a book (readily available in a basket by the table) and “reads” looking over the book.
Mom gives baby some cut fruits and a sip of milk and prepares breakfast.
7:15 ish a.m. We eat breakfast at the table (Not in front of the T.V.).
We discuss what the day will bring, What’s is happening at school today and the plan for after-school. My son sometimes asks: “Mom, what’s the plan for today.”
7:30 ish a.m. Leave Early for School, (Yes, It says leave early…)
As a mother of 2 boys I understand in depth that boys “need to get their energy out” (as my mom always said). So my boys run in the yard or we take a quick walk to the end of the block before getting in the car. Or we will park a block away from school and walk over instead of driving to the front door.
Summer time – In the summer, or on school breaks, this would be the time we get ready to head out for our fieldtrips. I live in an urban area and we are often taking advantage of free activities/low cost activities.
Monday thru Thursday we are out of the house – almost like a day-camp. I ALWAYS pack along drinks for the kids and healthy snacks to get us thru ½ a day.
Why pack so much food? By the time we get in the car and to our destination, stay and play and drive home, nearly ½ a day passes, so to stay healthy, I pack our own snacks to prevent that drive-thru stop.
2x/week: We are at the beach or pool
1x/week: We are at the museum, the zoo, or going to an area park for several hours.
1x/week: We are at a free/low cost activity in the area, or at a Park District or nearby College kids class that I signed the boys up for.
1x/week: Free day Friday (or Monday): We run 1-2 errands with mom, and spend few hours at the park.
8:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. Mom and Baby time
When we return home there is still No T.V. My 2-year old follows a similar schedule that his brother had a few years ago. First thing, I get my coffee (m-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e), and we read a book. Right away so I engage the little one in some “mommy-n-me time.”
In the winter, I sign my little one and I up for some indoor classes at the local college or park district. My older son had the benefit of playing with other kids his age, it got us out of the house, and I had some adult interaction too.
Still No T.V.? Then the baby gets a toy or two and I do one or two quick chores. He often helps with his mini broom, or holding the vacuum cord. He also takes clothes out of the laundry basket. I start lunch and have him in the refrigerator door with my grabbing what’s needed. Then he sits in the high-chair with another book and a snack (usually cut-up fruit) as I prepare lunch. Sometimes I will run a quick errand, or do grocery shopping with baby as big brother is in school.
11:30 a.m. Pick Up Time and Outside Play.
Outside Play is CRITICAL for Boys. Especially for boys because they are not able to focus as well as girls when their bodies are pent up with energy. With my sippy cups and cantelope slices in hand we stop at the neighborhood park or play in the yard for “at least 20 minutes” like grandma said – but usually it’s 40 minutes. Read on to 4:00 to see why… Conveniently there is No T.V. time here.
Winter time: You may be wondering if outside time applies in the winter? It sure does. On days when it is 30 degrees we are bundled up in hats, scarves and gloves. When there is a freeze advisory I am extra cautious so the kids delicate skin doesn’t get frost bite or freeze burn, but we still try to stick our noses outside the door few a few minutes. Whats is nice about winter is it takes an extra 10 minutes to get our coats on and another 10 minutes to get our coats (and boots) off. Add in the 10-20 minutes outside and nearly an hour has still passed….again skip to 4:00 if you think I am crazy!
Of Course if it is just tooooooo cold, then we do some "energy out" activitiy indoors. Inside we play freeze dance, dance our booties off, run from one point to anothoer to see who is fastest, etc. The kids still need to run and exert themselves a little.
Of Course if it is just tooooooo cold, then we do some "energy out" activitiy indoors. Inside we play freeze dance, dance our booties off, run from one point to anothoer to see who is fastest, etc. The kids still need to run and exert themselves a little.
12:30 p.m. Head Home for Lunch and “Resting Time.”
Everyone puts their own coats and shoes away where they belong. The older one goes and changes into his play clothes, and lays out his school clothes back on his bedside chair. Lunch is eaten at the table (not in front of the T.V.). Usually as we eat I ask how school was for my older son and discuss his day and/or mom reads a book. My mom says “eating is boring, it is a necessity and not necessarily fun for kids.” So even with food cut into fun shapes and lots of colors on the plate - I keep them engaged by reading a quick book and talking about the day.
1:00 p.m. Nap time! AH Rest for mom (I’m not super-mom , I get tired!). But we call it resting time (read ahead to the short stories below to see why…).
The Baby goes into his crib and I play a CD. Baby will sleep for at least 2 hours. My 5-year old has to lay down in his bed and “rest.” Resting time is at least 30 minutes. I put on a CD and if he falls asleep – I let him sleep for up to an hour, so I don’t disturb bedtime at night.
{Unless the kids are sick, then they can sleep until they wake up naturally. The body heals itself during sleep and that is more important.} I might catch the afternoon news or a quick show. But with my recent iPad present I am usually busy blogging or catching up on my web to do list, things to look up, etc. Definitely some “me-time.”
1:30 - 2:00 p.m. Resting Time Ends, Homework and Play time begins
My sons gets up (or I wake him) and we head to the kitchen table (again, No T.V.) and he gets a cup of juice and water (50/50 mix). We review what happened in school and go over any school work and homework, unless we reviewed these things at lunch.
Usually we take about 10 minutes to do our homework (he’s in Kindergarten). Then we take 10 minutes to review a second language. We are a tri-lingual household so my son is tutored in Polish and Spanish. One language per day in a rotation.
Mom gets her c-o-f-f-e-e if needed.
2:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Outside Time and Freeplay
I am an avid gardener so this part is easy for me. If you are not into gardening then play games and see what your son has for ideas. The idea is to be outside. Sit in your yard or in front of your home while your son plays. Take the newspaper, your i-Pod, or a book while he runs, jumps and plays for 20-30 minutes. You can look at this as time for you too!! See my Winter Note: it applies here too.
I DO NOT let my son play outside alone, I still feel he is too young and we live in an urban area. By this time of day we are lucky enough to have some neighborhood kids also outside playing at this time, so my son has some playmates. But I am always near him when outdoors.
3:00 – 5:00 p.m. Outside Time and Dinner Preparations
3:00 p.m. Usually our outside time continues in nice weather, above 30 degrees. If its too cold we will do a project indoors, clay activity, painting, or a board game.
3:00 – 3:30 p.m. If the baby wakes up (I keep his baby monitor handy) then we go and get him, our sippy cups and a light snack, and baby joins us outside for at least…20 minutes. *Notice this become at least 1-hour of outside time for my older son. If needed, I can take this time to run a quick errand with the kids before our evening begins. But since errands are SO MUCH EASIER with one-child, I try to run errands when the older one is at school.
4:00 p.m. Head Home for Dinner preparations and Snack-Time
By now my boys have run, jumped, and played, so they have gotten all “of their energy out.” Also, we have finished school work – so the afternoon is free time for the kids. We usually get a quick snack in the kitchen, if needed, and then they get to play inside the house.
This is also what I call potential “crisis time” in some households. Part of this blog is to PREVENT CRISIS Before it strikes. It’s when the nearly end-of-the-day but not-quite-bedtime that some boys get “stir crazy.” Or incredibly bored. However this is NOT an issue in our home. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the boys play too rough or tease each other, and I need to step in. But most of the time the boys play (on the same floor a I am) nice and quite in the play room together. Yes, together! In our home nagging mom and running in the house is not allowed. So to make these rules stick I have to put in my share of the work UP FRONT, by letting the kids run around outside, so they stay nice and calm indoors.
Mom is preparing dinner and listening to the playroom activity. Still No T.V. though. But my i-Pod is playing. Sometimes the boys come into the kitchen and ask for their “Kids” play list – so we can dance together. So even though I am cooking and fairly on task, we still get a little boogie-woogie in.
5:00 p.m. Tube Time Has Arrived – Yes, a little T.V., Computer, or Video Time is Here….
Are you excited? T.V. time is here. Well sort of. Because My older son didn’t actually watch cartoons or a movie until the age of 2, he actually prefers books or educational games. And this is also a behavior my younger son is learning.
TV/TUBE TIME:
Anywhere between 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. the boys know they can watch T.V. or play video games. So the older one also has Apps on my i-Pad and he is thrilled to play. Sometimes the younger one watches a cartoon, but he usually sticks with us in the kitchen, thumbing thru a book, or playing with one if his toys. But he is also peeking over big brothers shoulder when he plays the i-Pad, so looks like I'll download some baby Apps too.
Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can search for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. There are many days we don’t even watch T.V. because – as you can see from the schedule – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they aren’t bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic result, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!
6:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Dinner Time
The boys have to clean up their toy room and put things where they belong. Just like they hang up their coats after school, I do not want to clean up after my future teenagers, so now is the time to learn tidy-skills.
We wash our hands and the boys, both help set the table for dinner. Plates, cups utensils (less knives) and cloth napkins. Sometimes dad is home in time for dinner, and other times he is not. But we have an understanding at home that having happy kids is important, so that means we stick to a schedule.
At dinner we talk about our day(s), the best part of the day, and the next days plans. Sometimes we play a board game during dinner. We squeeze education and fun in at anytime that we can. Notice I said squeeze, not force. Learning and talking with your kids becomes a natural part of the day.
7:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Bedtime Routine Begins
Ah, it’s finally here, that time of day we all love: BEDTIME! The boys help clear the table, and mom puts the dinner leftovers away (with dad).
Usually we take a bath in the evening. But sometimes the boys play in their room upstairs and I can tiddy up as needed. If we do take baths, mom or dad stay in the bathroom with the kids keeping them company, supervising behavior and playing with the kids toys too. Bathtime can be fun when supervised and kept safe.
7:30 p.m. Bath time / Playtime ends.
We take the kids out of the tub one at a time. Sometimes we divide and concur one – boy per parent. But mom can handle both using this system. Either boys comes out first. There PJ’s are already in the bathroom with us. I dry them off and put PJ’s on. The 1st boys brushes his teeth and comes his hair as I dry and dress the next baby. Then when the older one is done he heads off to pick out his bedtime book and goes into bed. Once Mom is done dressing the baby we prepare for story time.
Again depending on the day, or if baby is extra tired. I will either read to baby in his crib a short book, then put his Soothing Bed Time CD, or I will put him in his brothers bed for a joint book. Other times, big brother does a “sleepover” in his baby brothers room (in the spare bed or in the sleeping bag on the floor, NOT IN THE CRIB WITH BABY) and I read to them both in there.
I read 1-2 books – it is predetermined BEFORE I start reading. We give hugs and kisses for the night (if needed the baby is transferred out of big brothers bed). Both boys get a nighttime CD and a night light to fall asleep.
The kids usually sleep well thru the night, until 6:30 a.m. for the day to begin again.
8:00 p.m. and On – Its all Mommy Time!
I hope you have found this schedule insightful and I can only rave about the calm and fairly crisis free home we have – all because of a routine based day.
Additional Reading: I always like recommend where you can read more on the topics presented in these blog articles.
Topics: Outside Time, Having a Schedule, Babies Health, Raising a Boy, and sooo much more.
Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book, 8th edition. I am an avid reader of child development books, and my mom always said I was a “Spock Baby.” Dr. Spock was an innovative Doctor for his time with wonderful and practical ideas about caring for babies. Now in it’s 8th edition, Dr. Spock is still a valuable resource for new and not-so-new moms.
Topics: Understanding What TYPE of child you have, Schedules and Routines for Kids, Raising a Boy, Bedtimes Routines, and sooo much more.
Topics: Boys Learning Styles, Needs for Play time, Raising a Boy, How Other Countries Educate Boys.
Raising Cain: Boys in Focus, Michael Thompson Ph D. A Documentary. This website provides some q-n-a on raising boys and the experts feedback.
Originally Published on November 28, 2010
Originally Published on November 28, 2010
