Want to live like the Downton Abbey Crowleys? Make More Time Appear so you can Do Nothing.

Do you ever watch Downton Abbey and think, I would love to live like the Granthems. Have a servant wait on you for every Little need, time for tea, take a leisurely walk, or go to a luncheon, Change your clothes for dinner, take time to write a note, call on family for extended visits and these activities ARE the extent of your day!?!

Obviously the Granthams don't have a "full-time job" or work like we do today, or have to pick up their sons from school and take them to soccer class. Then do homework and make dinner. Because of course so much is done for them. And the servants would do these "mom jobs." And the money, obviously there was oodles and oodles of money!!

But what if I told you that some aspects of this Aristocratic life is possible, even in the 21st-century. The Downton Abbey life is slow, slow, slow, not go, go, go like ours. Our days have so much packed into them it's amazing we get anything done at all. And then I stop and think: why don't I make a life for myself similar to the Granthams? Granted I can't just make money appear, but I can make time appear.

For sometime now I've been looking around my home thinking I haven't touched that (insert item here: picture frame, decorative box, fancy plate, 27 sweaters of which I usually wear only 6) in a year or I haven't done anything with my fancy dishes in two years because my life now is all about the children for me. It turns out De-cluttering our lives is definitely one step toward the Downton Abbey way of life. But the second is prioritizing what we do with our time.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

It's funny how often a friend will comment I can't believe you have time to do all "that stuff" with your kids (blog readers know we are ALWAYS going to museum, making a project, taking a walk nearly every night after dinner, etc.) With homework and soccer and (insert errands and tasks here) it's nearly impossible to "do it all." So we don't. But in our home all "that stuff with the kids" happens because it's THE Priority!

Recently I came across a couple books at our library, one by Lisa Lynn called Life's too short to fold fitted sheets. And a few more about de-cluttering and getting organized from moms who have done it already. (I have no financial association with these books.)  After reviewing these books, and reflecting on my own life... and more importantly the LIFE I WANT to have... I realized a few key imperatives.


Here's a few steps to how we try to live an Abbey lifestyle.

Number 1: Simplify. Take a look around the house. You notice how in the Abbey there's paintings on the walls, lots of books on the shelves, beautiful simple furniture and that's pretty much it. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Otherwise there's so much to constantly straighten up and clean!! An those projects we've been "meaning to do." (See my giving up on lent post which helped me de-clutter over 40 days.)

-- I have taken the dishes that I don't entertain with and put them in storage, just temporarily. I'm not getting rid of the things that I love. I'm just moving them out of the way (until we entertain again).

-- On the other hand I AM minimizing. Because putting everything in storage doesn't solve the problem either. I limit myself to one or two bins for kitchen supplies and the rest can go into my garage sale (where the proceeds go to my vacation fund)... well, the rest ended up being donated because I don't have time for a garage sale. And the funds raised would've been $100-150. And no, that amount IS NOT worth 2-4 days of my time.

Step Number 2: Simplify with the Children. (And I can only stress the importance of doing this WITH your children.) We filtered through their toys over a period of three days. Again, the more toys there is, then the more there is to clean and straighten. And yes I did it WITH the kids, and not sneaking the toys away while they were sleeping or at school.

How we Worked with the Kids to De-Clutter their Toys.

Day 1:  We made a list of the toys that we love. You may think this step is unnecessary, but later when it comes time to start getting rid of the toys, it's great to be able to reference the list that your children wrote, to remind them of what was important to them. Because its normal as you start filtering's toys, children start to feel a certain level of anxiety and want to save this or that toy.

Day 2: start sorting. So during the process of sorting, I left them put all those "I love that toy and can't get rid of it," into a pile. After we're done filtering I let them keep three or four toys from that "I love it but it wasn't on the list" pile. This way we still get rid of the majority of toys that we don't use, but they get to lower their level of anxiety by keeping those few that they forgot that they love.

Day 3: find a home and keep it there. When we started our Montessori-esque play, we are using trays more with our toys, which helps generate less mess. (Put the toys away on the tray before you get the next toys.)

-- You see once your children go through this process, it's harder for them to go back to just collecting more and more toys. You can use this experience as a reinforcement of why we only will buy what we truly truly need (otherwise we have too much to clean up after).

Step 3: Change your mindset, Keeping it this way, Simple. (And don't keep adding to the clutter you just got rid of.)

-- On our way to the zoo my son said to me mom I saw this toy that I really want you to buy me for my birthday and he began to describe it. I interrupted him and I said "honey I don't buy you toys for your birthday. Mommy and daddy like to buy you "an experience," we go to a special museum, or the zoo, or an activity that you've been meaning to do. Maybe even a hotel overnight. We aren't buying more toys. Other people can buy you toys, but not mom and dad. Mom and dad will buy you an experience."

-- So now we've de-littered and gotten Rid of the "stuff" that keeps us busy straightening and cleaning up, and what eats up our time moving the mess and cleaning the mess. Now that you've gotten rid of it all what are you going to do with that time.

This goes for you too mom! No more kitchen gadgets, 3 more sweaters in different colors, etc.

Step 4. Making the time.

About those books, obviously there was no TV in the Downton Abbey days. And living without TV might not be a reality today. But limiting TV CAN be a reality. See my post about having a schedule which include limiting TV time. When you start to limit TV / tube time, you need to make sure you have a plan for what to do with that time. For us it's often a project, a walk outside, going into the yard. Anything and everything out and about keeping ourselves busy. For us that means no TV on weekdays - no cartoons in the am, and no TV unless we watch something during dinner (not often).

Step 5: what to do with the time.

I caution you when it comes to scheduling (or over-scheduling) activities. Each of my kids goes to school. Then they have maybe one activity that they get during the week like soccer practice and again the game on Saturday. Which us plenty!! (See my post on why education reform doesnt matter. your kids are learning plenty.) That still leaves four weekdays for plenty of that Downton Abbey slow, slow easy-going time. Time to make dinner during homework time or before kids get home from school, clean up after dinner, make a project / time for the kids, talking a walk, hitting the library for an hour, and more for fun time in the tub. Lots more time.

Since chores still need to happen, get help. 

Kids helping empty the dishwasher, so we can go outside - together!

Oh and by the way, here's my separate blog post about mom not being a slave and quality time for mom and kids. Why it's super important to involve your children in cleaning up after dinner and cleaning up their own toys. You shouldn't be the maid to their mess. They need to participate in the chores because that is the world WE live in. (Unlike this blog post about are we upstairs or downstairs 100 years later.) We don't have nannies and governesses surrounding us all the time to do it for us. This way you will ALL have equal amounts of time to share being leisurely, and not MOM'S cleaning up while the kids are playing. Instead we clean up together and have more EQUAL free time together. Simplify and you too can be more leisurely, just like on Downton Abbey.


Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud.

My Son Lost his Toy and I AM NOT Buying Him a New One

Since my eldest was a toddler I taught NOT to take toys in when we went shopping, to a museum, library or any activity. Because the instant kids go into their destination they drop their toy "like its hot" and head to the first thing that catches their eye. Buh-bye toy.

It's not my job to pick up and carry that thing around. I've gotta diaper bag and two other kids I'm schlepping around and that's plenty enough for me.

So, for the most part we rarely, ever, loose a toy. My son nor I can remember it happening, until a recent visit to the library. We went to dinner after school and he took in his new red apple shaped plush "fruit ninja." He cashed in his big 1,000 ticket jackpot win at a birthday party gamę Palace for the Priceless "In the moment pop culture" plush. Generally I don't allow plush toys out of the house because they easily pick up germs. But I made an exception on this special "no occasion" day.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

He remembers bringing his toy back to the car, as do I. Then we went to the library. I didn't remember him brining it in, per our "toy rules." He went in, took off his coat, and ran to find his book "diary of a wimpy kid." But that night after we returned home he remembered his fruit ninja. We figured it was in the car and we'd get it in the morning. Well when we went to the car it wasn't there. "Did you check behind behind your chair ?" Yes! "Under your feet?" Two affirmatives but no toy.

I called the library. I told him not to be hopeful, I didn't think it was there. Nope, it wasn't there. And my son cried, hard, like I've never seen him cry (not counting being hurt). "I know your disappointed" I said. "It was MY FAVORITE!" (Of course I'd never heard another toy described that way - ha!.) I didn't try to minimize his feelings tho.

This was a great tragedy, like Romeo and Juliet, like The Trojan War - well in a kids perspective anyway.

And my next instinct was, "Honey you have some birthday money left to buy a new one," and then I in my head I heard the sound of screeching breaks, wait a minute. I stopped myself. This was a great mommy moment. Is that the right message? There will be many disappointments in life, and sometimes things are not replaceable (even tho the fruit ninja is). So (gulp) I let him cry. I was driving the car and I while I was slightly amused at the intensity of his feelings over this Thing, I still melt because my baby was hurting inside. So I just said "I wish I could give you a big hug right now." He said "I wish you could too."

I didn't blame him for the loss of his toy either. His feelings of sadness were lesson enough of loosing track of his toy. I didn't say, like I instinctively felt to say "see what happens when you take your toys out of the house." But for us luckily that doesn't happen, this was a first in 7 years.

My older sons occasional hiding fort, when he needs alone time.

The crying stopped. I also did my mom job, I called the restaurant and the library. Nothing. And so we drove in silence, ... But then I remembered (this is my son were talking about here). During clean up time he steps right over a toy and says he's done! Blind as a man!! Hey "did you check under your feet?" "Yes, I did" as he's looking, again... And up comes the ninja. He didn't cheer, or get excited. He hugged his ninja. And it was over.

He knew he lost track of it. He felt the consequential loss. That was lesson enough, as brief as that 15 minutes we were in the car.


Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Rules for Laundry, Folding Clothing and Responsibilities

My boys needed a little visual reminder on their responsabilities. Clothes was ending up on the floor or (my pet peeve) clean clothes in the laundry. Laundry meaning: Cause mom will just wash it an put it away for me.

So I quickly drafted and taped to their closet door the Clothing Rules and Kid Responsabilitles. My boys are 7 and 4 and YES they can handle this! Its follow the rules or mommy gets frustrated and yells. Which clearly they voted for the rules.

Clothing Rules:

- Put your PJ's on the bed when you change

1. Change after school

2. Uniform goes on your chair back

3. Play clothes

put in the laundry if they are dirty with spots or were worn outside ofthe house.

put them back in the drawers, folded, if we only used them indoors

4. Sox go in the dirty socks bag

**If you don;t know where clothes should go ask for help!*

Kid Responsabilities:

1. Make your bed

2. Say "Good Morning"

3. CLear the table after you eat

4. Put food on the counter

5. Help eachother, and play nice! Ask for alone time if you need it and Have Fun! (the boys can seperate if they need a break from eachother, they know they have to respect that seperate time for at least 30 minutes).

6.  Take care of your responsabilities

7. Respect your self and your parents.

8. ** See clothes chart

Lenten Season: Giving Up ON Giving Up

Growing up it was a little exciting and rewarding to be able to "give up" candy for 40 days and feel a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes I might sneak a bite of a snickers and then feel guilty for days.... ah catholic guilt! As an adult a few years ago I gave up soda for lent and happily I never went back to drinking soda daily. It takes at least 30 days to build a habit, or unlearn one in this case, so Lent's 40 days works great! Now it really is an occasional treat. Unfortunately soda just doesn't taste as good to me as it used to either.

My son came home from school an announcement that "the whole second grade was giving up talking at lunchtime for lent." Gee, I can only imagine who's idea that was? Any teacher friends want to fess up?

So mom, what are you giving up for lent? Hmph, for the first time in many years I hadn't given it much thought. I'd seen my Facebook friends post Meatless Monday, Tubeless (No TV) Tuesday, Water Wednesday, Fish Friday, etc. you get the idea. And yes, on Water Wednesday that doesn't include the water in mom and dads coffee. Let me know how that works out for you?


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


So at about a week into lent my son returned asking again "Mom what are you giving up for lent?" I said without thinking "I'm giving up on giving up!" And it hit me - sheer brilliance! I am not giving anything up, instead I will do... I will do what I have been needing to do for months, years even. I am going to do every little project, activity, and proactive effort I have been meaning to do during lent. I commit at least one hour a day to this task.

And then I started my list. Because of course I have a list to check things off as they are accomplished. My only "rule" was to complete these things over the course of lent, committing at least one hour per day. I couldn't abandon my children and like a tornado get everything sifted and shifted in a day or two. After all this was months and years in the making and I hadn't gotten it done so far. And I had to involve family members where possible (#4 & 5 are AWESOME for kids). I've included my list and some of the steps involved. And we know how time flies, things don't get done because the day to day of life takes over. So this plan just might work to get those things done!

#1 - Clean off the dining room table and KEEP STUFF OFF OF IT. Granted I was only storing things on half of the table, but it's so unsightly during dinner. Most things were transitional - go to basement, go to storage, go away. But they didn't "Go" anywhere, they sat, and sat. So once I put things in their rightful place I gave myself a basket. It's an 8 x 12 inch basket for any transitional stuff. If the basket gets full I MUST pay attention and put those items away.

 #2 - Have at least 3 projects a week with the kids. After homework and commitments we need our time to learn the non-school way. My four year old is really into color mixology, thank you Pinterest for all the great ideas. Including Gak, Slime, Sensory bags, Sensory bottles, I-Spy Bags (AWESOME), Growing Beans in a Clear Jar so we can "watch" what happens (AWESOME x2!), make a paper mache mask and paint it, and much more!

#3 - Speaking of Pinterest. MAKE THOSE Sensory Pins! Check and Check! Again based on the current interests I used some small animals and made an African habitat in rice. Baby girls has a sound set up making noise, I mean music with her bowls and spoons, and our sensory bags.

#4 Have the kids start picking up after themselves. So it is totally true that boys "don't see" things laying around as they trip over, hop over and scoot around them. So I am making a conscious effort
that when we leave a room, like the kitchen, the older boys takes all the toys from the "high" areas and the younger from the "low/floor" and items get put Where They BELONG! This worked so well that I have added putting your own plates and cups away into the sink. When they leave their plates out - well that same plate greets them in the morning, who the hard dinner crud on it. Lesson quickly learned. My effort in this is constant - hopefully only thru lent, where I follow them around like Mother Goose, making sure toys end up in the right places. THIS IS WORKING GREAT! For me too - I have learned to actually follow the kids and make sure they learn the procedure right the first time. I "invest" my time and they learn correctly - again the brilliance of Montessori-esque.

#5 Finally start that Montessori-esque Playroom. I have been reading lots and lots about Montessori, and I totally love it. Its so European and makes loads of sense. But some elements I think are too extreme for me. Others are of course wonderful reminders that children can be independent at a young age. And for my own mom sanity its a great method to teach good habits, chores and independence and creativity at the same time. So to task I asked my boys to bring me toys they no longer want, that are broken, etc. HA! Each boy brings me things the other plays with. . . Let's start over. I sat the boys down with a glass of juice and "we" decided on what goes, ... again.

- If it's broken, gone.
- If it's not played with. buh bye.
- If it's not yours, put it where it belongs.
- Bring me stuffed animals we don't like, don't want, that smell, or are leaking stuffing.
- If you think you might want it but your are not sure, bring it in the "maybe box" ("also the keep it in the basement a week if they don't ask it goes box")

After I get their selections I separately went thru the toys they NEVER play with. We cleaned out nearly 3 large boxes of stuff. Our toy room is more of an inspiration room now.

What stayed in the Toy Room
all neatly organized into individual boxes and baskets by item:
- Musical Instruments
- Wooden Building Blocks
- Wooden Lincoln Logs
- Ball bin
- tinker toys bin (one in toy room and one in their bedroom, since they always end up downstairs)
- Wood trucks and cars
- Plastic toy cars all in one basket
- All board games
- construction play set
- dress up clothes (on hangers)
- Chest with our "hard plastic" animal figures
- Basket with stuffed animals (slimmed down to our most, most, most favorites in 3 rounds of filtering)
- Book shelf (thinned out so we can actually access our books and thumb thru a selection)
- Wood Toy Trains Sets

The walls still have our Art Gallery Line where I pin their art work up. And a map of the animals around the world, a low play chalkboard, and craft / supply storage shelves.

Upstairs Boys Bedroom has:

- Lego's with tiny not-baby-friendly pieces
- Squinkes set which my 4 year old loves
- book shelf (thinned out so we can actually access our books and thumb thru a selection)
- Astronaut set and imaginext shuttle
- Dinosaur play set
- Reading/snuggle chair
- Bionicles
- stuffed animals bin in baby girls room
- Lego Table and 2 chairs.

Also Montessori Esqu beginnings are:

- ENFORCING the put your slippers on policy. "Enforcing" for me means when shoes come off after arriving at home, I gently remind the boys to put slippers on. It's a "Type A" thing, sorry Montessori readers!
- # 4 picking up after themselves and putting their own plates and cups in the sink.
- keeping your homework basket neat. And cleaning up homework supplies after yourself.
- to be introduced: a small wood try and a tray basket. So if they want individual play they can have it.

These are all wonderful steps to mom feeling Waaaayyyyy less stressed. And my boys knowing what to do and not having to ask who what where constantly.

#6 Write Scientist Names Around the trim of the toy room. Followed by a project on each so we can learn about their contribution to science.  Still on the to do side of the list. When we were at the Museum of Science and Industry, during a demonstration in the main rotunda I notices around the ceiling moulding were various scientist last names. LOVED THIS IDEA. It'll get it's own post when that's accomplished.

#7 Filter the old mail, papers, and filing documents in the office. I went thru and trashed so much paperwork in 1 hour, only 1 hour! Such an accomplishment. Now I need one more hour to file it all... nearly there. When we renovated our office into a sitting room I rid us of the horrid filing cabinet and hanging folders into accordion folders i had left over from some other projects. So the filing process was started but for some reason I had a BIG basket of left over paperwork.

#8 Clear off kitchen Counters and KEEP THEM THAT WAY. Am I yelling? I don't mean to yell, it's just I cannot keep my counters uncluttered. Everything has a place. That's been my rule for year. But for some reason I don't follow it? Until now, and it's working great. I am simply Following my own rules!

#9 Impromptu clean up the spice cabinet and tea boxes. I'm not British, but you would think I was with all the tea I drink. Loose tea, bagged tea, boxed tea bags, and canisters of exotic teas yet unopened. So I filtered out half empty tea boxes into a canister, bags from left and right. I consolidated spices and tossed what is not used - and will never be used - OUT. Again, it took only an hour, and it felt so good!

#10 Sit with my son during homework. We have 3 kids, and this one can be challenging sometimes. I had to rearrange my day to accomplish this task. Homework usually takes 30 minutes. But we sidebar, and or chat, alot, so it can get to an hour sometimes. I want to sit at the table with my son. It accomplishes 2 things. I get less "frustrated" having to walk away from what I am doing (usually cooking dinner) to address his needs, and he feels he has my full attention - as it should be. So the Sensory Bin plays a big role here. For my 4 year old son and 1year old daughter. Both have a sensory bin. The 4 year old plays for an hour with no problem. The baby however plays for 10 minutes (which is still great) and then invades my cabinets. Still giving me and the big boy quality homework time.

#11 Sort boys art center. I opened items in boxes and put them in east to access baskets (Montessori esque). I opened the lacing and string box, put all the stamp and ink in a clear bin, and consolidated all our craft books (mask making included) into one shelf. The boys said they like it better, but most importantly are using the area more which shows me they really do like it! I also ended up sorting their coloring books bin right by the kitchen table and got rid of old magazines and half colored books I knew they wouldn't use.

#12 Put into storage what goes into storage! So obvious, right? Yeah I have a Christmas bin I am still filling with leftover stragglers. But that, and my husbands teaching books that are collecting dust, and the boxes from under my sons bed (with toys he can grow into), into the Attic they go.

#13 Rearrange Boys Room. My older son brought this up a few weeks ago. And we know how time flies, things don't get done because the day to day of life takes over.  We were in their room, filtering the books and toys and my son said his bed would look good by the window. And so we talked thru where 2 dressers, a table, 2 beds, a chair and 2 drawers sets and a book shelf would go. We started moving things out and out. I'm a pretty logical kind of girl so I directed mostly here. That took one hour. We moved the beds around and the chair. Dressers were basically in place so time for a Lunch break! It was great! We sat at the kitchen table, talked about the room move, what we liked, what we didn't. The boys didn't really want to finish the job. But I talked up our sense of accomplishment, ... that we were almost done, ... only a few more books and toys to move around,... okay, I caved and promised some ice cream. Congrats to us all on a job well done.


I feel a HUGE sense of accomplishment getting these tasks underway. We are not even halfway thru Lent and I am more then Halfway thru my list.  I hope to keep our home running this way for several more years! As for my new Lenten tradition. I may just have to keep that too. #14 - add before and after pictures to the blog :-)

Parents can Learn from Downton Abbey: Teaching our Kids Manners & Ettiquette (Season1, Episode 2 & 3)

I think it's become something of a loss, teaching manners to our children. Children learn by example, so does that mean we as Parents have lost our manners? Or maybe we just forget to use them.

I adore all the "proper" behavior in Downton Abbey. How refreshing to continually hear thank you, yes sir, My Lady or Miss so n so. I watch the properness of it all and I want my children to a least understand all of the etiquette so they can use manners during life's moments as needed. Perhaps dinner with the boss, meeting a girl, or when they need to make an impression!

Downton Abbey Table Ettiquette Measuring Spacing between Silverware

When you read "Snipets of What I say" it's a constant reminder that WE the parents need to lead by example, showing our kids the proper behaviors. Using a napkin at the table can't be mastered unless you always use a napkin at the table when the kids are eating. Entertaining a houseguest, and learning to share our toys, can't happen unless we show ours kids how to play with us, or with each other. And most importantly is how we answer our own child when they talk to us. So frequently I'll hear a mom answer her sons call with: "WHAT?!" I've answered my kids abruptly as well, but I always get that nice reminder when they answer ME that way! Time to self correct!!

Downton Abbey Service Receiving Line

Manners are all around us, the store clerk, the bank teller, you can witness good behaviors everywhere and that's another way to teach our own kids. I tell my son "did you see how nice that lady was, and she was so polite." My sons gotten to the point where HE can point out the NOT so nice behavior too.


The reward of all these Please and Thank You's? It comes when you least expect it. We were out at a very nice restaurant for my Babcias 80th birthday and my kids were all very well behaved. All that time and energy over the years telling them what's "good boy behavior" and "please act like a gentleman" paid off. I sat back, enjoying my glass of wine, watching my 7 year old have a nice conversation with his cousin and my 4 year old coloring with his Baba. So nice to be able to enjoy my own conversation not having to worry about my kids behaviors. They knew how to act, and felt confident at the table.

Parents can Learn from Downton Abbey: How to Teach our Children Life Values and DEEP Understanding of What's Right .. (Season 2, Episode 1 and 2)

We can learn a lot from Downton Abbey about instilling values and deeper understanding in our children. While the show is set in early 1900's England, following a sometimes stuffy and aristocratic family, who has a life of leisure, where footmen and maids do everything from cook and clean, to dressing their Lord and Lady employers. There is a tremendous amount of perspective to be gained in the amount of time spent doing, ...well... nothing!

Time spent walking, writing letters, dressing, preparing for dinner (that is getting dressed for dinner) allows for a lot of time to think. One thing time does, with extreme amounts of leisure time, it gives you the ability to reflect and consider, ponder, and gain perspective on how you want to shape your life. What are your opinions, values and how will you live those beliefs. Sometimes I think we are slipping as a society, on certain appreciation of things because we simply do not have enough time to THINK about the value of life.

It's so refreshing to see Lord Grantham and his family and servants appreciation of soldiers during the war. During dinner the Grantham family talks about and exchanges views on the happenings of the day, any news, their lives and opinions. Wouldn't it be great if we could have these types of dinner time talks with our families everyday? At our house dinner is at the table nearly every night. And even though my kids are young, and the happenings of their day is homework, tests, friend troubles and kid sized problems - we talk! And during these talks we exchange our opinions on things - "no, you can't punch your friend in the head!" - and we talk about solutions. "Yes, tell the teacher you can't see well, and that your getting glasses." It's not the 1900's stuffy formal dinner, but we get that "leisure time" at dinner to reflect on our selves, our actions, and concerns. And yes, sometimes my husband and I talk politics and the kids hear things about government, war, and the non-kid happenings of the day.

During World War I civilians in Downton Abbey felt patriotic, that there country was fighting for something they, as a whole society, could believe in. Prior to World War I, young men were very anxious to sign up for the war. (Of course that enthusiasm's also because these bright eyed boys didn't understand or ever see the horrors of war.)

Perhaps it was naïveté. Perhaps we know better today how horrible war is. With the Internet we have the instant ability to see the brutalities and the Severity of war. Even prior to the internet social media boom, and reporters who were embedded in the war with units of troops, in the 1970's people had TV and newspapers . I know it makes me cringe at the thought of a young man going to that environment. Even tho in Downton they didn't see or understand the brutality of war, there was still support in 1917. But what I have come to admire is there sheer support of the soldiers. Regardless of position in society, wealth, stature, and even with little understanding of the "front lines" there was support for those who were called to duty-- and shame for those who didn't run to serve.

How they thought of the boys on the front, how they talked about war, how they supported them (even begrudgingly at times, duty superseded opinion and convenience), how they understood the troops were sacrificing their lives, their families, and their lives to go be on the front. I wish we had that type of support for soldiers today. If there's one thing we could hold onto from the early 20th century it would be that appreciation.

Believe me when I say I am the first one who is antiwar, but I have to be able to support those who sacrificed their lives to go overseas and do other country calls them to do. I am not patriotic from that perspective. I think War should be avoided at all costs. We are such an advanced society yet we use such antiquated approaches as soldiers and murder. And if we are at war it should be understood why. Ironically all my opinions listed above on why not to go to war lack the support for our soldiers. And there's the demise of our nation. Of us. Of me. We get so caught up in opinion we forget about those who are LITERALLY caught up in the battle.

But I'm just laymen, not a decision-maker in Washington. So all I can do to support the troops is Not just in my blog, but also into deeds.

How can we support our troops? How can we show - and support as they did in 1917 - that even if we are against the war - that the troops should get our thank you?

No spoiler alerts here. At the end of Downton Abbey season one, the country is involved in World War I. At the time of course it's just considered a war. The beginning of season two, which shows that all the young men are being enlisted or already fighting in the war. The footman from downtown are all gone. And there's the sheer shock of ladies taking over men's work, women learning how to drive and do farm work. A Lady from the manor becoming a nurse. The maids serving dinner (the horror). But for these aristocrats it was doing "there sacrifice" to support the war. And the answer to how we today can support our troops, in comments, actions and deeds just like the people of Downton Abbey.

Everyone pulled together to help. Farms lost all their man power/ hands, someone else would goes to drive the tractor for that farmer. Troops who are healing from the war, need a place to convalesce and the manor home is opened up to take them so they can continue to get used to their conditions. And even a soldier suffering from "shell shock" gets the support of a shoulder and kind words from a coworker saying that she understands and giving him a story of how she can relate to his state Of mind. Encouraging him not to work yet, encouraging him to heal his mind from the war. How does this relate to us today, what can we do?

My son school had a drive for some soldiers in Afghanistan for you feel a shoebox with playing cards candy snacks things along those lines pair shoe laces for the soldiers. That was my first time participating in something overseas. Otherwise I really didn't know how else to support the troops. And before reflecting on my feeling of soldiers and war - I had opportunities to participate in such drives but I never did!

Then we had a soldier, in our family, come home from Iraq. He too is possibly suffering from PTSD. All I could do is talk to him when he opens up. And NOT ask about shooting over there, and sensationalizing the gruesomeness over there like others asked him. Instead be kind and tell him we are glad to have him home and be a member of the family again. And when he finally wanted to talk, we did, about non-war issues.

And finally when my children were a little bit older we had another cousin who is overseas in Afghanistan. This time his wife had told me that he really enjoyed Polish Kabanos sausage. It reminded him of his childhood. You can find for yourself some stories of what it's like to be in a hot desert for 30 days with only your MREs and nothing else but sand around you. You long for something from home. So sending him some Polish Kabanos was something that he could only think or dream about. Such joy for a young man away from the comforts of home... And it was so easy for me to send it to Him. (Pre shrink wrapped at the store...and a few bucks to ship it.)

Do something, anything, you can to support our soldiers weather you believe in the war(s) or not! Often magazines list ideas of how you can participate thru organizations, often local churches hold drives, even at your local schools.

But, if nothing else, extend your hand to a veteran and say thanks. Shaking hands is so simple, so unexpected, and so appreciated!


Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. and Learn to Laugh.Out.Loud!

Our Homework Contract

At the beginning of the school year my son was still learning the daily homework routine. He'd get frustrated always feeling that I was "adding to his homework assignments" when in fact it was already part of an unlearned routine. So I told him we will make a deal - "a contract."

Mommy what's that? I loved being able to explain that it's an agreement people make, they usually write it down and then sign their names, as a sort of promise to follow the rules listed on the paper.

So I came up with a few suggestions and so did he..Mine were the work only can be turned in if he wrote the "most beautiful letters" on the page. And we would have to correct wrong answers on tests, "so we can learn the correct answer." He wanted to have a piece of candy after every worksheet was completed.

Then we reviewed our ideas and circled the ones we both agreed on. Here's our final: Homework Contract

1. Review our assignment book and complete worksheets to packets from school. (Sometimes we divide the number of pages from a weekly packet into manageable portions and do a little each day before Fridays due date.)

2. Review our spelling words and play spelling city. (Kids learn quickly and easily by playing games, and this is screen time worth having!)

3. Math - practice daily with a school sheet or moms sheet. (I printed our a stack of math worksheets from various websites as practice. My son can use any strategies to complete the work like counting on his fingers or his number line.)

4. Study for tests (usually we have a study guide from school).

5. Copy work (I learned that the 2nd grade students don't do a lot of writing during the day, so I added a Homeschool idea of writing copy work daily. I printed out poems, quotes, kids song lyrics, etc via this web site so my son can "copy" the letters and learn proper letter formation. It helps with spelling too. I am happy to report after 7 months we've seen great improvement in his penmanship. I just won't accept that boys don't write nicely, beautiful penmanship takes time and practice!)

You need to ask for help whenever you need it. Mom will help you and show you how to do the work, give examples, but Mom will NOT do the work for you.

X________________sons signed his name

X________________ Mom signed

Our Family Routine for the School Year, Age 7, 3, and 6 months

Every mom says: I can't believe my baby is already in (my case) second grade! He's seven, where did the time go? Not long ago it was me and him at home, still napping three times a day. We were a family of three, now we are five...

It's a ROUTINE,...not a schedule that keeps us sane!

I still believe strongly in keeping a "routine" to help keep our sanity at home... Otherwise I find that nothing gets done - nada! You will notice that there are some tasks here that my kids do alone - because over the summer and thru the years I taught them to take care of on their own:

--get dressed, underwear, shirts, pants. The clothes for the day is laid out the night before (together with mom for my youngest son, but the older one can do it on his own now) in their rooms so we know what to wear.

--use the bathroom, brush and rinse their teeth, Comb their hair with a wet comb (to take down those little sticking up-out hairs).

-- put on socks and shoes, get on their sweater if needed.

-- in the car they can open their door and put on their seatbelts/ car straps and mom asks: "seatbelt check?" and they reply "check" -- I of course lock in the baby and check the 3 year old belts before we leave. My 7 year old can clearly tell me if he needs a minute more.

I am trying to keep us on a nice schedule with back to school. We started this one week prior to school starting so we could adjust our "summer" internal body clock.

A little reflection from my "Toddler Schedule Post" - You learn as you go

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didn't watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine. After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.


We get up at 7:00 am. (we may need to move this up 15 minutes)

The baby gets to sleep in. The boys get dressed, mom too. The three year old sometimes stays in his PJs depending on if we are going grocery shopping (Tuesdays) right after drop off. Use the bathroom, brush teeth, check short hair is not sticking out, up, sideways and head downstairs.

Breakfast at 7:15

We eat breakfast. Usually we start with a cup (ceramic! see why here) with 50/50 juice & water or milk. We eat either: toast with jam and sliced fruit. Or cereal and kefir yogurt to drink. Sometimes eggs with some veggie in them and topped with cheese. You get the idea, its quick but freshly made. Meanwhile I make and pack the lunch, sometimes a quesadilla taken in slices in the thermos so the stay warm. The stainless steel interior thermos is warmed by putting boiling water inside or running hot tap water in it, then wiped off.

I have a stack of homemade lunch notes that I pick from for the lunch bag. Im gonna send these until my kid is sick of me! Lunch note goes in.

By 7:30-ish am we get ready to leave for school.

Boys get there shoes on and my second grader grabs his lunch bag & backpack (from the hook) and double checks he has his forms/ homework/ etc for the day.

Mom heads back upstairs to wake The baby. I get her in a new diaper, leave on the PJs and we are ready to leave.

Out the door by 7:40 am.

Drive My older son to school and come back.

8:30 am

Get the rest of breakfast or juice for my little boy and nurse/feed the baby and get my coffee and juice (fresh juiced veggies and fruits). Watch a little cartoons with the 3 year old and baby girl nurses to a nap.

10:00 am

Baby girl nurses to nap. Read a book or do an activity with 3 year old.

Baby wakes up at 11:00 or so.

Go for a Walk, or hit the park with babies bottle and lunch. Baby girl is getting some solids with us.

12: noon

Put both kids down for a nap in mommies bed. I nurse the baby and read books to the other. I have a long thin pillow that goes next to the boy so he doesn't roll over on baby. If I'm exhausted I'll nap with them.

1:30-2:00 pm or so.

Wake up time. Sometimes they'll wake up on their own or I wake them up bu uncovering them. The hangs in temperature is a more natural way to wake up & I feel I have less cranky kids that way. Everyone has a quick snack and we head out to Pik up my older son from school.

2:30 pm Pick up from school.

We are home by 3:15-3:30 so I prepare the Snack for them, change to play clothes, play a little and then homework time.

Meanwhile moms in the kitchen making dinner preparations. My younger son has his preschool activity books to do his "homework" too. Ill feed the baby at the table with the boys. Can you say multitasking. When baby gets a little older i know ill do lunch/dinner preparations during the noon nap time.

5:00 pm

Hit the yard, park or any outside time!! When baby girl was really young id have to Usually sit and Nurse her or have to hold her the rest of the night. Luckily its a good time for the boys to run and play. I still nurse her or give her some solids while the boys play.

Dinner time 6:00-6:30.

We might squeeze in a cartoon before dinner, wash hands and eat at the table.

7:30 pm

if it's bath night/or wash face hands teeth and off to bed. The boys often join us in bed for some books and we let them fall asleep in our bed. Baby also nurses to sleep. Luckily while the playlist runs mommy - who's attached to baby - gets to be on pinterest, facebooks, etc... A little my tube time.

Ill move the boys back to their beds and head back downstairs.

Moms bedtime & the next feeding:
By 10:00 pm

Baby will sometimes take 2 ounces in a bottle other times she'll just nurse.

Baby still wake up and nurse one or two times then she will wake up at 4:am and take another two ounces in the bottle. Almost sleeping thru to the morning.

And then we start the day all over again.

Snipets of what I say to keep up with our manners (and our sanity) Mom-isms

Mom of two boys and baby girl...OMG. I've reverted too quick comments, and getting POSITIVE words in where I can to make sure were following our manners...often. I try to say what I want the resulting behaviour to be. And keeping up with positive words instead of "no, stop it, don't do that," I try: "do this..., say it like this..., please try...," and (my favorite) "you have to earn it."

Use your words.

Yes they'll sometimes scream or argue, but I encourage them to control their emotion and then label how they feel..."how did it make you feel when your brother screamed...do you like how it feels when you are mean?...please ask for candy, do not grab." And say what they desire, from the spiderman action figure to ice cream..."please use your words...no screaming because I can't hear you...Please ask...please share." and tell them often what they did right "you were very good today,...well behaved, ...nice gentleman or this IS how a gentleman acts."

However I do NOT allow back talk, sassyness or inappropriate sarcasm. They'll hear: "please DO NOT talk to me that way... That was rude, say "I won't say that again Mom."

Showing Love

"Good job...Let's talk about that later (after the meltdown, it helps prevent a meltdown, and sometimes you can discuss when they are more calm)...Keep your hands on your own body...Show me how (to do that)...Kiss your brain...your smart cause You work hard...your sick because you have a Bug in your tummy...Give me a hug... No one kissed me today..." And when my nearly one year old babies started moving around and grabbing everything in sight, I would take the object away gently and say "thank you, thank you!" "No" was saved for dangerous situations like trying to stand in the high-chair.

I say "I Love You" all the time. "Good Morning. I Love You." "When picking up the kids from school, "I missed you today," and I"ll whisper in their ear, "I Love You." "You ate your whole lunch, the sandwich, the ant sticks (celery with peanut butter and raisins) and drank your water! Yaay!!" Big hug, followed by "I Love You."

Manners

"You forgot to say the magic word...that's not how a gentleman acts...go fart in the bathroom...ask to be excused (from the table)...say I'm sorry when you wrong someone...tell someone to "stop it" when they hurt you...use your napkin...I've told you enough to stop (insert X behaviour), now you need to earn your (insert next favorite activity on the schedule, from ice cream to bedtime book) and LET THEM EARN IT!! ...say "Good Game"...I can't see you I can't hear you...I'm in the bathroom, it's private time (when that doesnt' work, "whatever you have to say can wait!") please don't talk to me in that way....ask nicely...say please/ thank you." also I expect my kids to use titles when speaking to/about adults. Don't say Him, "you say Dad, not him."or "Who is she? Mrs. So an so?."

Participate

Tickle fights, snuggle and watch a 20 minute cartoon together, eat dinner together, ..."get me a diaper please, ...I want to play a board game, who's joining me? ...please come say hi to the baby, she missed you today... I love how you are playing nice together...show me 5 (5 minute warning)... Let your brother win, sometimes...sing: clean up time, clean up time, everybody clean up time (mom or dad help too)...keep your hands on your own body...please flush the toilet." "Let's go wash our hands." And when my older son decided to stop after the bathroom hand washing I'd say "it's like eating/playing with pee and poop on our hands ... Do you want that?" He'd ruuuuuun to wash up.

Eat Right

Veggies, fruits, breads, cheese, yogurts.... its about making better choices, understanding portions and when to splurge on a treat! "No cookies today....the tooth fairy wouldn't like that treat...what time is it now? yes, breakfast time. and when do we get candy? Yes, candy is after lunch...in the summer/ have as many Popsicles as you want, after lunch...who's having a snack...I'm having some tea, would you like some?...it's time for a mini scoop (of ice cream)."

Understand Hard Work

To us adults putting toys away is "EZ" - but to a kid it can be complicated and overwhelming. Just like if they fall and scrape their knee, yes they will be OKAY. But first we should acknowledge that they are hurt, and falling down may have been scary. Along these same lines, Say "yes that (whatever they did) was hard (for them!)... That was hard, gimmie five! ... look how many tries that took.... we have to do homework because we are learning to learn... Practice because we do it wrong 100x's and right on the 101st... it looks easy for mom, but it was hard for me once too" (kids don't want to feel they can't accomplish something, and don't want to feel under valued if it's too easy).

"If its not on the list, we don't buy it." this avoids the cries for toys and candy... But occasionally candy and ice cream DO make the list because, after all, they're only kids for a short time! As for spending their own money I offer my advice and opinion to them. But as long as the toy doesn't affect out "rules:" it's safe and doesn't affect their health, they can spend their own money. Look, if they make a mistake, and a bad purchase, that's the best way to learn - for themselves. Kids haven't learned yet that cheap toys break quickly, etc.

Go Outside

Run, jump, fall down, play, ask to play tag with new kids, go say "Hi, my name is," get dirty then come in and learn how to get clean...."outside song: line up, line up, line up, its time to go outside...pee on the other side of the tree...please check for cars...ring the doorbell ONE time, don't yell...say please....check your hands for microbugs...did you use soap?..ask if they wanna play tag...clean up time equals going outside."


These are all ways they learn to be men (and a lady) later in life. I hope they remember these phrases with love and intention.

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

So if I limit T.V. time, What should my kids be doing?? A big part is you learn as you go. And as you pick up tips and tricks taking a moment to think about HOW to Include these ideas into your own home. 

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

UPDATE: 2012 - 4 years later 

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine - where the kids DO WATCH SOME T.V.!  

After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.

NEW UPDATE :: YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT BLOG

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

THE ORIGINAL POST ::

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

I remember the first day I brought my newborn son home. Sheer exhaustion of course, happiness that I couldn’t put into words, only into tears. My husband took family leave from work to spend 3-weeks at home with our new son and helping mom assimilate to this “new world.” And then I remember the first day my husband went back to work, at 6:00 a.m. I looked at my son on the changing table and thought, “What am I going to do with you now?”

It’s been a few years since that day. And today I can say that “routines” make our world go around. Of course my son gets some TV or video game time. But it is limited to less then one-hour per day., if that much. I know, freakish right? Especially when I watched 3-4 hours a day growing up. But I realized early on, there is so much to do, and not watching TV lets us accomplish so much more in our lives.

You can jump ahead to the schedule I included in this blog, but I wanted to share a brief story first. The cornerstone of our family schedule is outside time. So to avoid potential issues in my home – outside time has become critical.

Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can google it for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. As you may know we are facing an epidemic in our country with childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, etc., etc., etc. In our home, there are many days we don’t even watch TV because – as you will  see from the schedule below – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they don’t become bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic byproduct, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!

A Quick Story about outside time

My grandmother who lives around the corner, would stop by often, just on check on us, leave some food, and head home. It was under her advice that I had done the BEST thing I could ever do for my kids. She would tell me everyday “Take that baby outside, everyday for at least 20 minutes.” My Babcia, that’s grandmother, is from Poland – and when she was raising her kids life was much simpler because frankly everything took so much longer to do! But he kids were always healthy, and I am happy to say mine are too. She would say “those cheeks need to be rosy, and breath the fresh air.” Fresh air? I live in an urban area so fresh means not the air that you sit in, at home, all the time.

The No T.V.  Schedule: 6:30 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. 

Below I have listed what I have arrived at for our current schedule. And the key word is arrived. My son is 5-years old now, so over the course of the last 5 years there have been some decisions I made along the way that helped become the foundation of our family schedule. And I thought it may be helpful to share with parents how we accomplish a “No T.V. schedule.” In another post I will note some short stories on how this schedule came to be – and those “decisions” we all make along the way of childhood.  

Note: This is a flexible schedule depending on the day, what we need to accomplish, etc. But this schedule is a guide – and we are usually within 15-20minutes of the times listed here. Unless its summer time, then we are outside all the more.

6:45 a.m. Get up for school.

By the time my day begins, my husband has usually left for work already. If my son is not awake I walk into his room singing our “Good Morning Song.” This is a gentle way to start the day pleasant and not abruptly. Bathroom responsibilities: including brushing our teeth. He gets himself dressed for school (the clothes were laid out the night before on his bed-side chair).

Mom dresses the baby (his 4 years younger brother) and herself and we head down for breakfast.

7:00 a.m. Breakfast table (Notice, we are NOT putting cartoons on).

He grabs his Kindergarten Site Words list and gives it 1-2 reviews. Afterwards he grabs a book (readily available in a basket by the table) and “reads” looking over the book.  

Mom gives baby some cut fruits and a sip of milk and prepares breakfast.

7:15 ish a.m. We eat breakfast at the table (Not in front of the T.V.).

We discuss what the day will bring, What’s is happening at school today and the plan for after-school. My son sometimes asks: “Mom, what’s the plan for today.”  

7:30 ish a.m. Leave Early for School, (Yes, It says leave early…)

As a mother of 2 boys I understand in depth that boys “need to get their energy out” (as my mom always said). So my boys run in the yard or we take a quick walk to the end of the block before getting in the car. Or we will park a block away from school and walk over instead of driving to the front door.

Summer time – In the summer, or on school breaks, this would be the time we get ready to head out for our fieldtrips. I live in an urban area and we are often taking advantage of free activities/low cost activities.

Monday thru Thursday we are out of the house – almost like a day-camp. I ALWAYS pack along drinks for the kids and healthy snacks to get us thru ½ a day.

Why pack so much food? By the time we get in the car and to our destination, stay and play and drive home, nearly ½ a day passes, so to stay healthy, I pack our own snacks to prevent that drive-thru stop.  

2x/week: We are at the beach or pool

1x/week: We are at the museum, the zoo, or going to an area park for several hours.

1x/week: We are at a free/low cost activity in the area, or at a Park District or nearby College kids class that I signed the boys up for.

1x/week: Free day Friday (or Monday): We run 1-2 errands with mom, and spend  few hours at the park.  

8:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. Mom and Baby time

When we return home there is still No T.V. My 2-year old follows a similar schedule that his brother had a few years ago. First thing, I get my coffee (m-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e), and we read a book. Right away so I engage the little one in some “mommy-n-me time.”

In the winter, I sign my little one and I up for some indoor classes at the local college or park district. My older son had the benefit of playing with other kids his age, it got us out of the house, and I had some adult interaction too.

Still No T.V.? Then the baby gets a toy or two and I do one or two quick chores. He often helps with his mini broom, or holding the vacuum cord. He also takes clothes out of the laundry basket. I start lunch and have him in the refrigerator door with my grabbing what’s needed. Then he sits in the high-chair with another book and a snack (usually cut-up fruit) as I prepare lunch. Sometimes I will run a quick errand, or do grocery shopping with baby as big brother is in school.

11:30 a.m. Pick Up Time and Outside Play.

Outside Play is CRITICAL for Boys. Especially for boys because they are not able to focus as well as girls when their bodies are pent up with energy. With my sippy cups and cantelope slices in hand we stop at the neighborhood park or play in the yard for “at least 20 minutes” like grandma said – but usually it’s 40 minutes. Read on to 4:00 to see why… Conveniently there is No T.V. time here.

Winter time: You may be wondering if outside time applies in the winter? It sure does. On days when it is 30 degrees we are bundled up in hats, scarves and gloves. When there is a freeze advisory I am extra cautious so the kids delicate skin doesn’t get frost bite or freeze burn, but we still try to stick our noses outside the door few a few minutes. Whats is nice about winter is it takes an extra 10 minutes to get our coats on and another 10 minutes to get our coats (and boots) off. Add in the 10-20 minutes outside and nearly an hour has still passed….again skip to 4:00 if you think I am crazy!

Of Course if it is just tooooooo cold, then we do some "energy out" activitiy indoors. Inside we play freeze dance, dance our booties off, run from one point to anothoer to see who is fastest, etc. The kids still need to run and exert themselves a little.

12:30 p.m. Head Home for Lunch and “Resting Time.”

Everyone puts their own coats and shoes away where they belong. The older one goes and changes into his play clothes, and lays out his school clothes back on his bedside chair. Lunch is eaten at the table (not in front of the T.V.). Usually as we eat I ask how school was for my older son and discuss his day and/or mom reads a book. My mom says “eating is boring, it is a necessity and not necessarily  fun for kids.” So even with food cut into fun shapes and lots of colors on the plate - I keep them engaged by reading a quick book and talking about the day.

1:00 p.m. Nap time! AH Rest for mom (I’m not super-mom , I get tired!). But we call it resting time (read ahead to the short stories below to see why…).

The Baby goes into his crib and I play a CD. Baby will sleep for at least 2 hours. My 5-year old has to lay down in his bed and “rest.” Resting time is at least 30 minutes. I put on a CD and if he falls asleep – I let him sleep for up to an hour, so I don’t disturb bedtime at night.

{Unless the kids are sick, then they can sleep until they wake up naturally. The body heals itself during sleep and that is more important.} I might catch the afternoon news or a quick show. But with my recent iPad present I am usually busy blogging or catching up on my web to do list, things to look up, etc. Definitely some “me-time.”

1:30 - 2:00 p.m. Resting Time Ends, Homework and Play time begins

My sons gets up (or I wake him) and we head to the kitchen table (again, No T.V.) and he gets a cup of juice and water (50/50 mix). We review what happened in school and go over any school work and homework, unless we reviewed these things at lunch.

Usually we take about 10 minutes to do our homework (he’s in Kindergarten). Then we take 10 minutes to review a second language. We are a tri-lingual household so my son is tutored in Polish and Spanish. One language per day in a rotation.  

Mom gets her c-o-f-f-e-e if needed.

2:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Outside Time and Freeplay

I am an avid gardener so this part is easy for me. If you are not into gardening then play games and see what your son has for ideas. The idea is to be outside. Sit in your yard or in front of your home while your son plays. Take the newspaper, your i-Pod, or a book while he runs, jumps and plays for 20-30 minutes. You can look at this as time for you too!! See my Winter Note: it applies here too.

I DO NOT let my son play outside alone, I still feel he is too young and we live in an urban area. By this time of day we are lucky enough to have some neighborhood kids also outside playing at this time, so my son has some playmates. But I am always near him when outdoors.

3:00 – 5:00 p.m. Outside Time and Dinner Preparations

3:00 p.m. Usually our outside time continues in nice weather, above 30 degrees. If its too cold we will do a project indoors, clay activity, painting, or a board game.

3:00 – 3:30 p.m. If the baby wakes up (I keep his baby monitor handy) then we go and get him, our sippy cups and a light snack, and baby joins us outside for at least…20 minutes. *Notice this become at least 1-hour of outside time for my older son.  If needed, I can take this time to run a quick errand with the kids before our evening begins. But since errands are SO MUCH EASIER with one-child, I try to run errands when the older one is at school.

4:00 p.m. Head Home for Dinner preparations and Snack-Time

By now my boys have run, jumped, and played, so they have gotten all “of their energy out.” Also, we have  finished school work – so the afternoon is free time for the kids. We usually get a quick snack in the kitchen, if needed, and then they get to play inside the house.

This is also what I call potential “crisis time” in some households. Part of this blog is to PREVENT CRISIS Before it strikes. It’s when the nearly end-of-the-day but not-quite-bedtime that some boys get “stir crazy.” Or incredibly bored. However this is NOT an issue in our home. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the boys play too rough or tease each other, and I need to step in. But most of the time the boys play (on the same floor a I am) nice and quite in the play room together. Yes, together! In our home nagging mom and running in the house is not allowed. So to make these rules stick I have to put in my share of the work UP FRONT, by letting the kids run around outside, so they stay nice and calm indoors.

Mom is preparing dinner and listening to the playroom activity. Still No T.V. though. But my i-Pod is playing. Sometimes the boys come into the kitchen and ask for their “Kids” play list – so we can dance together. So even though I am cooking and fairly on task, we still get a little boogie-woogie in.  

5:00 p.m. Tube Time Has Arrived – Yes, a little T.V., Computer, or Video Time is Here….

Are you excited? T.V. time is here. Well sort of. Because My older son didn’t actually watch cartoons or a movie until the age of 2, he actually prefers books or educational games. And this is also a behavior my younger son is learning.

TV/TUBE TIME:

Anywhere between 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m.  the boys know they can watch T.V. or play video games. So the older one also has Apps on my i-Pad and he is thrilled to play. Sometimes the younger one watches a cartoon, but he usually sticks with us in the kitchen, thumbing thru a book, or playing with one if his toys. But he is also peeking over big brothers shoulder when he plays the i-Pad, so looks like I'll download some baby Apps too.

Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can search for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. There are many days we don’t even watch T.V. because – as you can see from the schedule – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they aren’t bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic result, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!

6:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Dinner Time

The boys have to clean up their toy room and put things where they belong. Just like they hang up their coats after school, I do not want to clean up after my future teenagers, so now is the time to learn tidy-skills.

We wash our hands and the boys, both help set the table for dinner. Plates, cups utensils (less knives) and cloth napkins. Sometimes dad is home in time for dinner, and other times he is not. But we have an understanding at home that having happy kids is important, so that means we stick to a schedule.

At dinner we talk about our day(s), the best part of the day, and the next days plans. Sometimes we play a board game during dinner. We squeeze education and fun in at anytime that we can. Notice I said squeeze, not force. Learning and talking with your kids becomes a natural part of the day.  

7:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Bedtime Routine Begins

Ah, it’s finally here, that time of day we all love: BEDTIME! The boys help clear the table, and mom puts the dinner leftovers away (with dad).

Usually we take a bath in the evening. But sometimes the boys play in their room upstairs and I can tiddy up as needed. If we do take baths, mom or dad stay in the bathroom with the kids keeping them company, supervising behavior and playing with the kids toys too. Bathtime can be fun when supervised and kept safe.

7:30 p.m. Bath time / Playtime ends.

We take the kids out of the tub one at a time. Sometimes we divide and concur one – boy per parent. But mom can handle both using this system. Either boys comes out first. There PJ’s are already in the bathroom with us. I dry them off and put PJ’s on. The 1^st boys brushes his teeth and comes his hair as I dry and dress the next baby. Then when the older one is done he heads off to pick out his bedtime book and goes into bed. Once Mom is done dressing the baby we prepare for story time.

Again depending on the day, or if baby is extra tired. I will either read to baby in his crib a short book, then put his Soothing Bed Time CD, or I will put him in his brothers bed for a joint book. Other times, big brother does a “sleepover” in his baby brothers room (in the spare bed or in the sleeping bag on the floor, NOT IN THE CRIB WITH BABY) and I read to them both in there.

I read 1-2 books – it is predetermined BEFORE I start reading. We give hugs and kisses for the night (if needed the baby is transferred out of big brothers bed). Both boys get a nighttime CD and a night light to fall asleep.

The kids usually sleep well thru the night, until 6:30 a.m. for the day to begin again.

8:00 p.m. and On – Its all Mommy Time!  

I hope you have found this schedule insightful and I can only rave about the calm and fairly crisis free home we have – all because of a routine based day.

Additional Reading: I always like recommend where you can read more on the topics presented in these blog articles.

Topics: Outside Time, Having a Schedule, Babies Health, Raising a Boy, and sooo much more.  

Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book, 8th edition. I am an avid reader of child development books, and my mom always said I was a “Spock Baby.” Dr. Spock was an innovative Doctor for his time with wonderful and practical ideas about caring for babies. Now in it’s 8^th edition, Dr. Spock is still a valuable resource for new and not-so-new moms.  

Topics: Understanding What TYPE of child you have, Schedules and Routines for Kids, Raising a Boy, Bedtimes Routines, and sooo much more.

Secrets of The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, by Tracy Hogg.

Topics: Boys Learning Styles, Needs for Play time, Raising a Boy, How Other Countries Educate Boys.

Raising Cain: Boys in Focus, Michael Thompson Ph D. A Documentary. This website provides some q-n-a on raising boys and the experts feedback.


Originally Published on November 28, 2010