Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys"

Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys"

When my kids get a little crazy, and simply cannot follow the rules, sometimes mommy has to implement a punishment. Ad I don't mean the occasional name calling and subtle teasing. These consequences usually happen after being together for a week, like when during Spring Break after the newness of being ALL together again wears off and instead we get on each others nerves in a major way. In these instances the everyday "take a break in your room" or "please use inside voices" doesn't cut it. Because the behaviors of yelling at each other or calling names to intentionally hurt each others feelings repeat everyday. I personally am not a fan of consequences but they are unfortunately necessary to help learn important life lessons. And the more serious and swift consequences has an interesting effect on our familial unit.

I tell my kids they "can't play in the toy room for 2 days." It's not that I am taking their toys AWAY. Because my older son, who saves his various birthday and other money gifts, in his mind he can buy himself a new toy/s. Instead I am taking away their "power of play." They CANNOT PLAY with their toys... And that so much worse!

As we know adult men, I'm stereotyping, love their toys. Especially playing with their toys. So taking away their ability to play with said toy IS TORTURE!! My kids pace in front of their toy room, looking over the gate, pointing out a particular favorite to their sibling, asking "how soon until the toy room reopened?" Their toys are RIGHT THERE, just over the threshold, within their reach every day, but they ARE NOT ALLOWED to play.

The interesting affect this "Cannot Play" consequence has on our kids is they unite.   They unite in their sadness of the consequence. They commiserate in their feelings. And eventually they reflect on what caused the consequence and apologize for their needless behavior (okay, mostly mommy prompts this last part). I have come to appreciate consequences NOT as a punishment, but for the end result of a united family.


Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys", a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr. Top: NBA Los Angeles Clippers Owner Donald Sterling and the Clippers logo from TMZ. Bottom: Our Toy Room Immediately after the "You Can't Play with your Toys" punishment is implemented, my kids view of the close yet unobtainable toys.

Now imagine this "No playing with your toys, EVER! You are Banned FOR LIFE." punishment? My kids normally do not through tantrums and they would be kicking and screaming on the floor!!! And that's what he NBA commissioner did to L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling with their Lifetime Ban, you can't play with our toys. Now the commissioner can't actually take Donald's toys away (even tho he is gonna try). And yes, Donald can buy news toys. But he has publically been embarrassed and shut out from playing with our toys!

All the while this punishment does the most important and truly only function that is important, it creates a united family in the NBA Organization! The punishment to Sterling isn't so much a punishment for him, as it is to unite the NBA players, coaches, employees and officials - saying we are united AGAINST racist behavior in our group. PERIOD.

The remaining racists in the NBA will be temporarily closeted. And frankly, as I also see with my kids, there will be a change in behaviors. There will still be racists, however they will attempt to control themselves a little more due to the swift and firm punishment publically issued today. Societies change, slowly. Policies and our actions related to racism also change slowly. But we DO CHANGE, in every generation making some progress partially because of PUBLIC DECISIONS like the NBA Commissioner shared today. Racism will not be tolerated in our family!

Thank you NBA Commissioner for ousting a member of our family who was not playing nice, and not being professional, and not allowing his racist comments to go unpunished. Donald Sterling can buy different toys, but he can't play with ours!

I recently blogged about "Banned for Life, How to punish the Rich and Powerful." And I realized that the NBA punishment issued today is no different then when I need to make some serious consequence decisions for my kids. I take their power away, to help guide them to some better decisions.

Original post April 29, 2014

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Banned for Life, How to Punish the Rich and Powerful

Banned for Life, How to punish the Rich and Powerful.

Recently the NBA owner of the L.A. Clippers, Donald Sterling was secretly recorded making racist remarks to his (ironically mixed race half Black) girlfriend. When people in high level powerful positions in this country make a public statement (or something that "gets out") they are usually dealt with in a manner expected to temper public feelings and address the perception of wrongness.

What can we do with people like Sterling? Can we make him attend a "learn how not to be a racist" class? Of course not, nor will punishing him likely change his behavior or his opinions. But the Punishment issued today is not just for Sterling, as it has been perceived in the media as trying to hurt him in someway. With many debating is the punishment enough? In these cases the punishment will never "be enough." However the Lifetime Ban did achieve two things in the progress against people like Sterling and for the NBA.

Mostly, the NBA Commissioners handing down of a Lifetime Ban from the NBA today was not so much a punishment for Donald Sterling, as it was meant to show a united front on the part of the NBA family. We the NBA and our players, coaches, employees and owners will NOT ALLOW RACISM in our family! PERIOD!  I also blogged about how punishment and "Not letting my kids play with their toys" helps my kids UNITE, not too different from the NBA.) It's team unity that American sports function on. Equality in sports is not just an idea, but something all national sports organizations survive and thrive on. Equal players playing at the best of their ability so the best team wins. We don't compare race at the end of the game. We compare stats, height, rebounds, assists, fouls and points. 

The NBA owners and employees know they can't truly hurt Sterling, or take away Sterling's loads of money in a financial punishment. The only way to hurt a rich and powerful person is to take away their power, and that's what the NBA Commissioner did today.

The NBA Commissioner, implemented a swift action to keep the members of the  NBA family united and to work in place. The action had to be immediate because this is a Living, Breathing, now public, issue. Swift action was required before players and coaches revolted beyond the reverse jersey protest of the Clippers team.  The removal of power was complete. The NBA removed ALL of Donald Sterlings rights and decision making controls in his ownership of the Clippers. All his "ownership powers" were impacted. Not only does he get a Lifetime Ban from attending games, more importantly, he cannot make any decisions related to his position, players, teams, or NBA related matters. What good is ownership without power? Men like him thrive on power, therefore "cutting him off at the knees" was ideal.

Racism however silent, exists. As many know it is often swept under the rug because it cannot be proven and frankly, all too frequently nothing can be done about racist remarks. In the case of Donald Sterling he has a history of racism, in personal and business matters. Publicly discussed law suits have addressed his racist remarks and business decisions. Basically, going into this NBA Ban related issue, he wasn't an innocent man. I've read thru Facebook and in the media his cases just added fuel to the "Sterling fire." In a court of law these other cases lend credibility to his character and matter, but in the court of public opinion, whom the NBA needs to satisfy, this is irrelevant.


Banned for Life, How to Punish the Rich and Powerful, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Yes the recording was made in secret, but nonetheless the racist remarks were picked up by big media. And just because we have privacy rights, those rights don't erase such comments for a person in a powerful position in the public eye. Public figures know that with their position comes responsibility and a loss of some privacy as is in the current media environment. As for his well financially maintained girlfriend, yes she's a questionable person, but her benefiting financially from their relationship is nothing new. And frankly, again, this is irrelevant. If Sterling ends up suing the NBA for their unjust punishment, and wins (that his privacy was compromised), he really can't gain much back!  The NBA is an organization, as with any organization, who maintains  professional standards which their members need to follow, therefore their ruling stands.

There's a bigger issue here, and that again is racism. We cannot erase racism. Not the views of our grandparents who were raised in a different world as is seen by our generation. However, race issues make progress because of public decisions like what the NBA handed down today. We, the NBA as an organization, have views and values that are Stronger then the individual. Therefore your either with us or against us. That's why the NBA had to address this matter so swiftly and passionately. Showing a united organizational front, showing that while their are racists among us, they better keep their poker face on, or else your out. And don't be fooled into thinking this is One Man, it doesn't matter. We can all sight historic examples where Blacks, Latinos, Women, and subcategories of those who were wronged because of perceived righteousness amongst the organizational leaders. But the tides have changed. Blacks didn't always serve in the military, women weren't always in the workforce, however things changed. And as public views change so does the public. Just not my grandparents generation.

Make Mistakes, Breathe, Reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud