Showing posts with label Boys Daily Schedule. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boys Daily Schedule. Show all posts

Monday, March 20, 2017

You learn as you go

You learn as you go.

My older son is now 7 and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him. 

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Routine keep me sane!


See our family routine in this post. And the original MIMIT KIDS TV SCHEDULE Routine post here. And more ponderings on the schedule here.  

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows. 

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine.


After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities.  There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete. 

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids. 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

Make mistakes. Breathe. Reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Monday, August 3, 2015

A Day in the Life of Being a Mom, Evolution of Our Daily Schedule

A day on the life of #beingamom. What do you do all day? We Stay at Home Moms (SAHM) LOVE that question. I prefer "family manager" because I do way more then "Stay at Home." There's loads of moms on lockdown. And Loads more who are actively raising their kids and taking this privilege by the horns. I hope I am that mom.

I have posted our NO T.V. Schedule here. And this is one of my most popular posts. This is an updated version. And Yes, you will notice there IS TV time in our routine. I mentioned why absolutely NO television or tube time for my older son was a bad choice!

Here you go! A day in the life of a Stay at Home (Family Manager) mom.

Mom's days are busy, all the time! But WHAT do I do? My facebook friends can see the bug collecting, kids outing, and nature stuff. But those are our "outing days" that we squeeze into our reality. And our reality is also busy eventho it can be mundane at times.

My highlights are the moments with my kids. Reading books, at the park, playing outside, and cuddling - because there's always time for cuddling!

I think of my day in parts. In blocks of time where "I have responsibilities" to fullfill or in blocks of time that "I can fill:"

Daily Time Blocks

7:00 - 8:00 a.m. Morning routine to get to school.

8:30 - 11:30 a.m. get thing done like errands outside the house if needed.
And coffee!!

11:30 - 2:00 p.m. lunch and nap time for baby girl. I either nap with her or get a project list item worked on.

2:00 - 6:00 p.m. after school responsibilities and dinner.

7:00 p.m. Bedtime routine

9:00 p.m. Hopefully the day is over and we are looking forward to tomorrow.


Yesterday
Morning Routine

6:45 am Alarm goes off
Hopefully I've awoken before it rings and turned over. I still snooze until 7:00 (terrible habit, I know).

7:05 get up
Usually 1-2 boys are already dressed or getting dressed
Either get dressed for the day, or if I lack motivation stay in PJs.
Breakfast for the kids.
Make lunches + 1 snack for older son.
Walk to school and back (get in first batch of 2,000 steps).

Back home...
8:20 a.m.
Make coffee.
Get baby girl started on cartoons.
Preview Facebook and Twitter News.

Usually I:
Daily load of laundry, 1 washed 1 folded.
Put said laundry away.
In between play with baby girl, put a puzzle together, we are constantly chatting.

But today we are going grocery shopping. So I got dressed when we came back from drop off, and got coffee! Last night I made a yummy tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner. It's been a cold Spring and we are in the mood for chili. By 9:00 am we are at the store. First at Target looking for a white straw hat for an event I have coming up. No luck.

Completed shopping, then pick up and drop off my Babcia at 11:00 a.m. She's sending a gift package to Poland. I usually drop her off at the mail facility. She likes taking the bus back home.
___________________________________
Usually: by 10:00 a.m. 
Get dressed for the day if I haven't already (Its ubber important for me to dress well, and show my kids the same).
Dress baby girl.
Pack a snack if needed.

10:30 a.m.
Run errands.

11:30 a.m.
Return home for lunch. Then nap time.

Then I can do something I want to do, hobby wise, or a project with baby girl. 
___________________________________

Today tho I am cooking.
Get home. Unpack groceries. Baby girl plays in toy room.
Start cooking that chili. Recipi is here.
Make a sandwich for lunch and eat.
We eat in the kitchen and read a book, or chat, or color to help baby girl eat.

12:45 p.m. it's her nap time so we read a book, or two. Then play music so she can fall asleep. (I have played gentle music for my kids to fall asleep to since their birth!) 

Sometimes I nap with her (since I need it and these snuggle moments are fleeting).

Today I have some tasks that I can do by baby girl. My chili needs to simmer for an hour. By 1:15 she's asleep.

I am on pinterest looking at how to make my own derby hat (for an upcoming event).

Afternoon Routine

2:00 I make a cup of tea and check the chili. (I am trying to cut back on my coffee intake so I am less irritable.)
At 2:15 my alarm will go off for school pick up reminder. 
Wake baby girl, give her something to drink, use the bathroom, get ready (my next 2,000 steps) to pick up the boys from school. Shoes, coats.

We pick up the boys and talk on the way home about their day, school work, and our girls day too. We often talk into homework time.

3:15 or so, if we didn't stop at the park we tend to be back with the boys in tow. They empty backpacks, lunch bags and change into play clothes. Unuforms go on their chairs for the next day, check pants for stains and get a fresh shirt. I prep snack. Baby girl trails them to hear about their day or play.

Snack and start homework Routine

4:00 p.m. Homework. I stay with the boys to help and start dinner.
Baby girl gets a project or plays.

5:00 p.m. homework is over, younger son gets to play while older son finishes up - at the kitchen table or the desk in his room. 

Dinner Routine and Some Playtime

We either wait for dad to get home to eat between 5:30-6:00 or start on our own if he is going to be late. Kids will do chores as needed like empty the dishwasher, put clothes away or sweep, feed the dog, wipe up spills, clear tables etc.

Set the dinner table with the kids help.

2013-07-16 004
Helping with Garden chores and picking Red Current Bushes


Bedtime Routine

7:00 p.m. Get ready for bed.
Baths or showers. Change into PJs, brush our teeth.
7:30 Snuggles, secret feet tucks and read a book before bed. Hopefully we are done by 8:00 p.m. And I don't mind the hour commitment here. 


And so there goes the day! 

Previously over the years I would stay up and fold a basket of laundry, work on a project, watch TV and have a cup of tea. But then I find myself exhausted for the next day. Instead I get into bed. I chat with my husband, read, watch something on Netflix on the iPad, Pinterest, or mostly go to sleep.

And so the day starts again... Tomorrow.


Fridays are the start of the weekend!!

I make it a point to do a hobby or project list stuff on Friday. Otherwise I don't make much progress on "me" and "family" projects. I have found myself feeling less motivated too. Irony!!! Because I am energetic, idea filled and enthused all the time. And then my motivation lacks. I'll figure this out and get back on track. Thus Fridays are me days.

I make a project list so I can keep track of everything that needs to get done... And for the joy of crossing off the list! I'll have to post my to do list: and what keeps me busy in between my responsibilities. 

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I Don't Wanna do Chores! And I Didn't Have Time to Play Today

This is our quick reminder of how long the day is and exactly how much time 8 year old Older Son DID play today!!

Read more here: Areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com

I wrote the example entry, and he continued writing how time was spent one Snowy Saturday. Suddenly we realized he had 5 hours of free time!!! After The next chore instruction I heard "yes Mom!"

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Rules for Laundry, Folding Clothing and Responsibilities

My boys needed a little visual reminder on their responsabilities. Clothes was ending up on the floor or (my pet peeve) clean clothes in the laundry. Laundry meaning: Cause mom will just wash it an put it away for me.


So I quickly drafted and taped to their closet door the Clothing Rules and Kid Responsabilitles. My boys are 7 and 4 and YES they can handle this! Its follow the rules or mommy gets frustrated and yells. Which clearly they voted for the rules.

Clothing Rules:

- Put your PJ's on the bed when you change

1. Change after school
2. Uniform goes on your chair back
3. Play clothes
put in the laundry if they are dirty with spots or were worn outside ofthe house.
put them back in the drawers, folded, if we only used them indoors

4. Sox go in the dirty socks bag

**If you don;t know where clothes should go ask for help!*

Kid Responsabilities:

1. Make your bed
2. Say "Good Morning"
3. CLear the table after you eat
4. Put food on the counter
5. Help eachother, and play nice! Ask for alone time if you need it and Have Fun! (the boys can seperate if they need a break from eachother, they know they have to respect that seperate time for at least 30 minutes).
6.  Take care of your responsabilities
7. Respect your self and your parents.
8. ** See clothes chart



Thursday, January 31, 2013

Our Homework Contract

At the beginning of the school year my son was still learning the daily homework routine. He'd get frustrated always feeling that I was "adding to his homework assignments" when in fact it was already part of an unlearned routine. So I told him we will make a deal - "a contract."

Mommy what's that? I loved being able to explain that it's an agreement people make, they usually write it down and then sign their names, as a sort of promise to follow the rules listed on the paper.

So I came up with a few suggestions and so did he..Mine were the work only can be turned in if he wrote the "most beautiful letters" on the page. And we would have to correct wrong answers on tests, "so we can learn the correct answer." He wanted to have a piece of candy after every worksheet was completed.

Then we reviewed our ideas and circled the ones we both agreed on. Here's our final: Homework Contract

1. Review our assignment book and complete worksheets to packets from school. (Sometimes we divide the number of pages from a weekly packet into manageable portions and do a little each day before Fridays due date.)

2. Review our spelling words and play spelling city. (Kids learn quickly and easily by playing games, and this is screen time worth having!)

3. Math - practice daily with a school sheet or moms sheet. (I printed our a stack of math worksheets from various websites as practice. My son can use any strategies to complete the work like counting on his fingers or his number line.)

4. Study for tests (usually we have a study guide from school).

5. Copy work (I learned that the 2nd grade students don't do a lot of writing during the day, so I added a Homeschool idea of writing copy work daily. I printed out poems, quotes, kids song lyrics, etc via this web site so my son can "copy" the letters and learn proper letter formation. It helps with spelling too. I am happy to report after 7 months we've seen great improvement in his penmanship. I just won't accept that boys don't write nicely, beautiful penmanship takes time and practice!)

You need to ask for help whenever you need it. Mom will help you and show you how to do the work, give examples, but Mom will NOT do the work for you.

X________________sons signed his name

X________________ Mom signed

My young son drives me nuts, or is it just me?

I need to simply change my expectations because I expect too much of my kids. Ya, it is my own fault that I can yell at times, and get so frustrated, over what exactly? Noise, a mess, playing rough?

My older son talks clearly, with a great vocabulary, but you know what... he doesn't comprehend concepts yet (money, time, competition and teasing). And he emotionally doesnt understand alot - like that blank stare when I yell. My kids freeze in fear - they were just having fun... why is mom yelling?

I read an interesting article about gifted kids - those who can complete complex math problems in high school, or master playing beethoven by age 8. The brain develops the "skills" but does not develop the emotional brdiges for long term success. Can you imagine the pressure on an 8 year old to perform infront of a large crowd because he is the best? Even if he loves playing, the one thing he isn't doing is being a kid. And as kids play, and face "kids play" challenges, they develop - slowly - the emotions they need to deal with things as an adult. Their "emotional tool box" which will follow them thru life.

So I reflected on this article for my own good...

Stay calm cause really no ones dying - I literally take a deep breath when I feel I am getting angry.

Ironically I did a good job teaching my 3 year old to say "I am getting angry" so we can know to respect his space. I am relearning 30+ years of bad habits - - so I need to take deep breaths!

My own mom used to say: "what's your problem?" I realize that she too didn't know how to put into nicer words: "Honey, I love you,... I know your having a hard time understanding how you feel,... let's talk about it." I realized I don't want to bring up my kids, repeating the cycle, and them bearing the same trauma as me.

Do Not Hit

We have a don't hit policy at home, that incudes grabbing ears, hair, etc. I think the need to get physical arises because my emotions where not allowed, and I was shut down whenever I wanted to speak.... so through the years that built up as anger - 0 to 10 instant anger. My mom would yell and rant through the house and if I spoke up she'd tell me to shut up and listen. I would sit in my room FUMING MAD, mumbling the worst things under my breath.  I never understood where my own anger came from until very recently.And then the final straw - I watched an episode of the super nanny, which usually makes me feel so much better as a mom, where Joan sat a dad down at kid level and yelled at him. The dad could see what a big bully he looked like to his kids. I couldnt swallow the lump in my throat for days.

My husbands mother would pull his ears! How horrible. So when hubby started doing that to our little 3 year old first son, and after I asked constantly for him to stop - guess what? I decided one day when I was within his reach, right after he pulled my son's ear, I pulled my husbands ear - HARD! Needless to say - luckily - it never happened again. Unfortunatly with habits like this, yelling and ear pulling, I think we need to take our own medicine so we know how it feels. Now my husband also takes a deep breath!

I literally take a deep breath when I feel this angry. Then I ask myself, "Is this situation so bad that I will be mad about it in 5 years?" Usually the answer is no.

The good news is... my anger is in check. I stay significantly more calm. My oldest son asks me openly "mom, why do you look frustrated?" And I am honest about what is bothering me... but I am cautious NOT to blame him. I do say things like:

"You didn't put your shoes away, and your brother is screaming, and the baby is hungry... it's alot for mom to deal with right now, but in 10 minutes i'll be okay"


As long as we continue to grow, improve, and be better parents for ourselves and for who our kids are right now this plan can work. Its so simple. And for me, for us, we are okay.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Our Family Routine for the School Year, Age 7, 3, and 6 months

Every mom says: I can't believe my baby is already in (my case) second grade! He's seven, where did the time go? Not long ago it was me and him at home, still napping three times a day. We were a family of three, now we are five...
It's a ROUTINE,...not a schedule that keeps us sane!

I still believe strongly in keeping a "routine" to help keep our sanity at home... Otherwise I find that nothing gets done - nada! You will notice that there are some tasks here that my kids do alone - because over the summer and thru the years I taught them to take care of on their own:

--get dressed, underwear, shirts, pants. The clothes for the day is laid out the night before (together with mom for my youngest son, but the older one can do it on his own now) in their rooms so we know what to wear.

--use the bathroom, brush and rinse their teeth, Comb their hair with a wet comb (to take down those little sticking up-out hairs).

-- put on socks and shoes, get on their sweater if needed.

-- in the car they can open their door and put on their seatbelts/ car straps and mom asks: "seatbelt check?" and they reply "check" -- I of course lock in the baby and check the 3 year old belts before we leave. My 7 year old can clearly tell me if he needs a minute more.

I am trying to keep us on a nice schedule with back to school. We started this one week prior to school starting so we could adjust our "summer" internal body clock.

A little reflection from my "Toddler Schedule Post" - You learn as you go

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didn't watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine. After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.


We get up at 7:00 am. (we may need to move this up 15 minutes)

The baby gets to sleep in. The boys get dressed, mom too. The three year old sometimes stays in his PJs depending on if we are going grocery shopping (Tuesdays) right after drop off. Use the bathroom, brush teeth, check short hair is not sticking out, up, sideways and head downstairs.

Breakfast at 7:15

We eat breakfast. Usually we start with a cup (ceramic! see why here) with 50/50 juice & water or milk. We eat either: toast with jam and sliced fruit. Or cereal and kefir yogurt to drink. Sometimes eggs with some veggie in them and topped with cheese. You get the idea, its quick but freshly made. Meanwhile I make and pack the lunch, sometimes a quesadilla taken in slices in the thermos so the stay warm. The stainless steel interior thermos is warmed by putting boiling water inside or running hot tap water in it, then wiped off.

I have a stack of homemade lunch notes that I pick from for the lunch bag. Im gonna send these until my kid is sick of me! Lunch note goes in.

By 7:30-ish am we get ready to leave for school.

Boys get there shoes on and my second grader grabs his lunch bag & backpack (from the hook) and double checks he has his forms/ homework/ etc for the day.

Mom heads back upstairs to wake The baby. I get her in a new diaper, leave on the PJs and we are ready to leave.

Out the door by 7:40 am.

Drive My older son to school and come back.

8:30 am

Get the rest of breakfast or juice for my little boy and nurse/feed the baby and get my coffee and juice (fresh juiced veggies and fruits). Watch a little cartoons with the 3 year old and baby girl nurses to a nap.

10:00 am

Baby girl nurses to nap. Read a book or do an activity with 3 year old.

Baby wakes up at 11:00 or so.

Go for a Walk, or hit the park with babies bottle and lunch. Baby girl is getting some solids with us.

12: noon

Put both kids down for a nap in mommies bed. I nurse the baby and read books to the other. I have a long thin pillow that goes next to the boy so he doesn't roll over on baby. If I'm exhausted I'll nap with them.

1:30-2:00 pm or so.

Wake up time. Sometimes they'll wake up on their own or I wake them up bu uncovering them. The hangs in temperature is a more natural way to wake up & I feel I have less cranky kids that way. Everyone has a quick snack and we head out to Pik up my older son from school.

2:30 pm Pick up from school.

We are home by 3:15-3:30 so I prepare the Snack for them, change to play clothes, play a little and then homework time.

Meanwhile moms in the kitchen making dinner preparations. My younger son has his preschool activity books to do his "homework" too. Ill feed the baby at the table with the boys. Can you say multitasking. When baby gets a little older i know ill do lunch/dinner preparations during the noon nap time.

5:00 pm

Hit the yard, park or any outside time!! When baby girl was really young id have to Usually sit and Nurse her or have to hold her the rest of the night. Luckily its a good time for the boys to run and play. I still nurse her or give her some solids while the boys play.

Dinner time 6:00-6:30.

We might squeeze in a cartoon before dinner, wash hands and eat at the table.

7:30 pm

if it's bath night/or wash face hands teeth and off to bed. The boys often join us in bed for some books and we let them fall asleep in our bed. Baby also nurses to sleep. Luckily while the playlist runs mommy - who's attached to baby - gets to be on pinterest, facebooks, etc... A little my tube time.

Ill move the boys back to their beds and head back downstairs.

Moms bedtime & the next feeding:
By 10:00 pm

Baby will sometimes take 2 ounces in a bottle other times she'll just nurse.

Baby still wake up and nurse one or two times then she will wake up at 4:am and take another two ounces in the bottle. Almost sleeping thru to the morning.

And then we start the day all over again.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Where the Wild Things Are? They are at My House!

Blog My Young Son is Wild, and I am At My Wits End... Some boys just can't sit still. Some boys have trouble learning in school. Some boys are constantly misbehaving.  My sons are more like Max, from "Where the Wild Things Are." He has alot of energy and loves to play, and sometimes my boys  are wild.


Does that sound like your son? Now in some cases these misbehaviors is reason for legitimate concern. But before extreme circumstances are implemented, I challenge every mom and caregiver to implement one simple strategy to see if you can help curb the childs negative behaviour and encourage the positive behaviors: use outside time!

1. Boys need to release their energy.

Studies have shown that boys actually are able to focus when they have spent their energy first. I know from extensive personal experience that boys also behave better when they have spent their energy too.  I hate to say it, but we are mammals and just like you need to run your dog every day we need to let our kids run too. Dogs who are in training or already trained won't tear up the house if they have been walked/run because they have exhausted their energy. They're simply too tired to cause any damage in the house. The same theory applies to boys. Really this concept applies to girls as well, but especially boys. My boys get plenty of outside time everyday, usually 1-2 hours throughout the day, even in the winter. It is because we give them ample time to "get their energy out" that we rarely have problems of misbehavior or "wild reactions" in the house.

2. Cut tube time!!

Think about your day, is your son Getting a lot of tube time, more then 1 hour of TV, videos or computer? Is he spending an equal amount of time outside or at least an hour outside everyday? If not then consider when IS he getting his energy out? Boys bodies build up their internal energy throughout the day and need to empty their "energy tank." it is only when the tank is empty that a boy can focus on the task at hand. That means school, the doctors office visit or a civilized trip to grandmas house. See our family schedule which includes limited tube time and plenty of outdoor time resulting in a mostly peaceful household. We even do this before school to help have a productive day of learning.

Take for example our trip to the doctors office for joint appointments (or just tagging along) with 2 boys under age 5. A potential nightmare in some cases. Especially when getting shots. So as often as I can we try to either go to the park before the visit, or arrive at least 20 minutes before our appointment. We park and take a brisk walk around the block while playing our neighborhood games like "Who can run the fastest to that tree?"... Or "Ill race you to the red brick house"..."Who can be the frost to pick up 4 sticks?" I make it a point to include running in the games we play. This way the boys are pooped out tired when they get into the doctors office. They'll generally sit in the chair reading one of our take along books or playing with their toy animals while the other boy is being examined. There's still an occasional reminder of "proper behavior" but for the most part it is a pleasant visit.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

My Son Plays Rough, How to Distinguish Violent Versus Rough Play

My husband is a pretty mellow guy. He never play fought or wrestled with our first son. He would play board games and read books to him, or walk him in the neighborhood. So as my baby became a toddler I noticed he was getting a little feisty with dad, and starting to hit or tug at him. My husband discouraged such behaviors, and so did I. I didn't want my son being "violent."

Around three years old I started to notice that my son would "reenact" with his stuffed animals books we had read, or something we had experienced that day. He was role playing with his toys what "mom said" and what "he said" in our conversations. Even expressing feelings and inner thoughts during the play that he had not expressed to me. He would tell his pet lion "no you can't have any candy until after lunch." My son would then say: "oh lion, don't be sad." And I realized this is how children learn, by replaying scenarios in their head, over and over, making connections between this situation and that. Mock play helps them filter their emotions and learn how to cope with those feelings.

And sometimes role play turns rough. And now that my son is older, there is sometimes "death" or "sword fighting" in his imaginary play. After a trip to the museum where Pirates were on display we had an extensive discussion about how pirates would sail on the sea in big ships, and they would attack other ships to steal their goods and treasures. Throughout that week all I heard about was pirates, attacking other ships and finding treasure.


But there is something significant missing in his "mock play" - there is no blood, no spilled brains, no gruesome acts, there isn't an over indulgence in death or dying. That's because the "rough play" is imaginary and is not based in reality. He doesn't watch violent video games, bloody or gory scenes in movies, so his concept of rough play is actually pretty mild.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.


As parents we need to distinguish "Fantasy Violence" and "Real Life Violence."  Fantasy violence is when my son says "I'm gonna kill you alligator" and then pounces on the alligator. He usually DOESN'T describe the blood and the gruesome scenes. However if a boy is watching "Real Life Violence" on TV or in video games, where he sees shooting, spilling blood, murder, then he will internalize that violent behavior and then act it out. So instead of jumping on the alligator to kill it, instead he would enact shooting and describe the spilled blood.

For example: as we read a classic tale of "Ali Baba and the forty thieves," in this version, Ali Babas brother is killed by the 40 thieves, and my son has no concept of what "being killed" is. So I explain it in mommy terms, "the brother went to a dangerous place, the thieves cave. And the brother tried stealing from the thieves which made them very angry. Thieves are bad people because they steal from other people and commit crimes. And when they saw the brother the thieves were mean to him too, and killed him because the brother tried stealing from them." But my son also knew that at the end of the book the thieves were punished for their behavior, and he includes "banishment" as he reenacts this lesson in during mock play.

Clearly in this story there is "violence" - murder of Ali Baba's brother, thieves who steal, and at the end of the book the thieves try to attack Ali Baba. But when my son re-enacted this book, he "talked" about the violence, but he didn't talk about blood, cutting off heads, or other gruesome acts that might be seen on a TV version of this story.

Steps for success:
- Don't let young boys watch violence on tv and video games.

- Limit tube time to less then an hour per day. And if you need non-TV time ideas, read my blog about what should my kids be doing if their not watching TV??- Distinguish between reenactments of "fantasy violence" and "real violence." Fantasy violence is "Ali baba and the forty thieves," "king arthurs knights of the round table," "cops and robbers" or pirates. Real life scenarios include too many descriptions of blood and gore, cutting off of body parts or excess pain and suffering.

You know your child and you can identify what he has learned when he is reenacting. You can observe you childs "play" and use that time to explain what his play signifies, explain acceptable violence, and most importantly how to help him understand it and label his emotions.

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

So if I limit T.V. time, What should my kids be doing?? A big part is you learn as you go. And as you pick up tips and tricks taking a moment to think about HOW to Include these ideas into your own home. 

My older son is now 7, and I have come to realize some mistakes I've made in raising him.

When I wrote the blog below on a schedule for toddlers, I was very proud of the fact that I limited his TV tube time. He actually didnt watch any TV or kids videos until he was almost 3. This was before iPhone an IPad too. And now I realize that was a big mistake.

Our youngest son did get some TV before age 2, mostly watching along side his brothers TV/tube time. So the youngest had early exposure to television.

Nowadays when my kids do get to watch TV for Friday movie night or cartoons on Saturday morning, the older one is completely plugged in (or zoned out). While the 3 year old can tune in and out to come get a drink from the kitchen and even gets bored with the shows.


If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

UPDATE: 2012 - 4 years later 

If I had to do it all again, I'd follow our new routine - where the kids DO WATCH SOME T.V.!  

After we drop off the older one at school, my younger kids get 1 (one) hour of TV in the morning (which is public television cartoons like sesame street) without those commercials that are so awesome for kids who react with "I want that!" This way the kids get to relax and enjoy some TV time before we move on with our daily activities. There is still almost no TV during the school week for the older one, except one 1/2 hour program (our play on the iPad) after homework and responsibilities are complete.

Kids new that time to unwind, or wake up. And just like adults need to zone out sometimes, so do kids.



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THE ORIGINAL POST ::

Limit Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule

I remember the first day I brought my newborn son home. Sheer exhaustion of course, happiness that I couldn’t put into words, only into tears. My husband took family leave from work to spend 3-weeks at home with our new son and helping mom assimilate to this “new world.” And then I remember the first day my husband went back to work, at 6:00 a.m. I looked at my son on the changing table and thought, “What am I going to do with you now?”
It’s been a few years since that day. And today I can say that “routines” make our world go around. Of course my son gets some TV or video game time. But it is limited to less then one-hour per day., if that much. I know, freakish right? Especially when I watched 3-4 hours a day growing up. But I realized early on, there is so much to do, and not watching TV lets us accomplish so much more in our lives.
You can jump ahead to the schedule I included in this blog, but I wanted to share a brief story first. The cornerstone of our family schedule is outside time. So to avoid potential issues in my home – outside time has become critical.


Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can google it for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. As you may know we are facing an epidemic in our country with childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, etc., etc., etc. In our home, there are many days we don’t even watch TV because – as you will  see from the schedule below – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they don’t become bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic byproduct, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!

A Quick Story about outside time
My grandmother who lives around the corner, would stop by often, just on check on us, leave some food, and head home. It was under her advice that I had done the BEST thing I could ever do for my kids. She would tell me everyday “Take that baby outside, everyday for at least 20 minutes.” My Babcia, that’s grandmother, is from Poland – and when she was raising her kids life was much simpler because frankly everything took so much longer to do! But he kids were always healthy, and I am happy to say mine are too. She would say “those cheeks need to be rosy, and breath the fresh air.” Fresh air? I live in an urban area so fresh means not the air that you sit in, at home, all the time.


The No T.V.  Schedule: 6:30 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. 

Below I have listed what I have arrived at for our current schedule. And the key word is arrived. My son is 5-years old now, so over the course of the last 5 years there have been some decisions I made along the way that helped become the foundation of our family schedule. And I thought it may be helpful to share with parents how we accomplish a “No T.V. schedule.” In another post I will note some short stories on how this schedule came to be – and those “decisions” we all make along the way of childhood.  
Note: This is a flexible schedule depending on the day, what we need to accomplish, etc. But this schedule is a guide – and we are usually within 15-20minutes of the times listed here. Unless its summer time, then we are outside all the more.


6:45 a.m. Get up for school.

By the time my day begins, my husband has usually left for work already. If my son is not awake I walk into his room singing our “Good Morning Song.” This is a gentle way to start the day pleasant and not abruptly. Bathroom responsibilities: including brushing our teeth. He gets himself dressed for school (the clothes were laid out the night before on his bed-side chair).
Mom dresses the baby (his 4 years younger brother) and herself and we head down for breakfast.

7:00 a.m. Breakfast table (Notice, we are NOT putting cartoons on).

He grabs his Kindergarten Site Words list and gives it 1-2 reviews. Afterwards he grabs a book (readily available in a basket by the table) and “reads” looking over the book.  
Mom gives baby some cut fruits and a sip of milk and prepares breakfast.

7:15 ish a.m. We eat breakfast at the table (Not in front of the T.V.).

We discuss what the day will bring, What’s is happening at school today and the plan for after-school. My son sometimes asks: “Mom, what’s the plan for today.”  

7:30 ish a.m. Leave Early for School, (Yes, It says leave early…)

As a mother of 2 boys I understand in depth that boys “need to get their energy out” (as my mom always said). So my boys run in the yard or we take a quick walk to the end of the block before getting in the car. Or we will park a block away from school and walk over instead of driving to the front door.
Summer time – In the summer, or on school breaks, this would be the time we get ready to head out for our fieldtrips. I live in an urban area and we are often taking advantage of free activities/low cost activities.
Monday thru Thursday we are out of the house – almost like a day-camp. I ALWAYS pack along drinks for the kids and healthy snacks to get us thru ½ a day.
Why pack so much food? By the time we get in the car and to our destination, stay and play and drive home, nearly ½ a day passes, so to stay healthy, I pack our own snacks to prevent that drive-thru stop.  
2x/week: We are at the beach or pool
1x/week: We are at the museum, the zoo, or going to an area park for several hours.
1x/week: We are at a free/low cost activity in the area, or at a Park District or nearby College kids class that I signed the boys up for.
1x/week: Free day Friday (or Monday): We run 1-2 errands with mom, and spend  few hours at the park.  

8:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. Mom and Baby time

When we return home there is still No T.V. My 2-year old follows a similar schedule that his brother had a few years ago. First thing, I get my coffee (m-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e), and we read a book. Right away so I engage the little one in some “mommy-n-me time.”
In the winter, I sign my little one and I up for some indoor classes at the local college or park district. My older son had the benefit of playing with other kids his age, it got us out of the house, and I had some adult interaction too.
Still No T.V.? Then the baby gets a toy or two and I do one or two quick chores. He often helps with his mini broom, or holding the vacuum cord. He also takes clothes out of the laundry basket. I start lunch and have him in the refrigerator door with my grabbing what’s needed. Then he sits in the high-chair with another book and a snack (usually cut-up fruit) as I prepare lunch. Sometimes I will run a quick errand, or do grocery shopping with baby as big brother is in school.

11:30 a.m. Pick Up Time and Outside Play.

Outside Play is CRITICAL for Boys. Especially for boys because they are not able to focus as well as girls when their bodies are pent up with energy. With my sippy cups and cantelope slices in hand we stop at the neighborhood park or play in the yard for “at least 20 minutes” like grandma said – but usually it’s 40 minutes. Read on to 4:00 to see why… Conveniently there is No T.V. time here.
Winter time: You may be wondering if outside time applies in the winter? It sure does. On days when it is 30 degrees we are bundled up in hats, scarves and gloves. When there is a freeze advisory I am extra cautious so the kids delicate skin doesn’t get frost bite or freeze burn, but we still try to stick our noses outside the door few a few minutes. Whats is nice about winter is it takes an extra 10 minutes to get our coats on and another 10 minutes to get our coats (and boots) off. Add in the 10-20 minutes outside and nearly an hour has still passed….again skip to 4:00 if you think I am crazy!

Of Course if it is just tooooooo cold, then we do some "energy out" activitiy indoors. Inside we play freeze dance, dance our booties off, run from one point to anothoer to see who is fastest, etc. The kids still need to run and exert themselves a little.


12:30 p.m. Head Home for Lunch and “Resting Time.”

Everyone puts their own coats and shoes away where they belong. The older one goes and changes into his play clothes, and lays out his school clothes back on his bedside chair. Lunch is eaten at the table (not in front of the T.V.). Usually as we eat I ask how school was for my older son and discuss his day and/or mom reads a book. My mom says “eating is boring, it is a necessity and not necessarily  fun for kids.” So even with food cut into fun shapes and lots of colors on the plate - I keep them engaged by reading a quick book and talking about the day.


1:00 p.m. Nap time! AH Rest for mom (I’m not super-mom , I get tired!). But we call it resting time (read ahead to the short stories below to see why…).

The Baby goes into his crib and I play a CD. Baby will sleep for at least 2 hours. My 5-year old has to lay down in his bed and “rest.” Resting time is at least 30 minutes. I put on a CD and if he falls asleep – I let him sleep for up to an hour, so I don’t disturb bedtime at night.
{Unless the kids are sick, then they can sleep until they wake up naturally. The body heals itself during sleep and that is more important.} I might catch the afternoon news or a quick show. But with my recent iPad present I am usually busy blogging or catching up on my web to do list, things to look up, etc. Definitely some “me-time.”


1:30 - 2:00 p.m. Resting Time Ends, Homework and Play time begins

My sons gets up (or I wake him) and we head to the kitchen table (again, No T.V.) and he gets a cup of juice and water (50/50 mix). We review what happened in school and go over any school work and homework, unless we reviewed these things at lunch.
Usually we take about 10 minutes to do our homework (he’s in Kindergarten). Then we take 10 minutes to review a second language. We are a tri-lingual household so my son is tutored in Polish and Spanish. One language per day in a rotation.  
Mom gets her c-o-f-f-e-e if needed.


2:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Outside Time and Freeplay

I am an avid gardener so this part is easy for me. If you are not into gardening then play games and see what your son has for ideas. The idea is to be outside. Sit in your yard or in front of your home while your son plays. Take the newspaper, your i-Pod, or a book while he runs, jumps and plays for 20-30 minutes. You can look at this as time for you too!! See my Winter Note: it applies here too.
I DO NOT let my son play outside alone, I still feel he is too young and we live in an urban area. By this time of day we are lucky enough to have some neighborhood kids also outside playing at this time, so my son has some playmates. But I am always near him when outdoors.


3:00 – 5:00 p.m. Outside Time and Dinner Preparations

3:00 p.m. Usually our outside time continues in nice weather, above 30 degrees. If its too cold we will do a project indoors, clay activity, painting, or a board game.
3:00 – 3:30 p.m. If the baby wakes up (I keep his baby monitor handy) then we go and get him, our sippy cups and a light snack, and baby joins us outside for at least…20 minutes. *Notice this become at least 1-hour of outside time for my older son.  If needed, I can take this time to run a quick errand with the kids before our evening begins. But since errands are SO MUCH EASIER with one-child, I try to run errands when the older one is at school.
4:00 p.m. Head Home for Dinner preparations and Snack-Time
By now my boys have run, jumped, and played, so they have gotten all “of their energy out.” Also, we have  finished school work – so the afternoon is free time for the kids. We usually get a quick snack in the kitchen, if needed, and then they get to play inside the house.
This is also what I call potential “crisis time” in some households. Part of this blog is to PREVENT CRISIS Before it strikes. It’s when the nearly end-of-the-day but not-quite-bedtime that some boys get “stir crazy.” Or incredibly bored. However this is NOT an issue in our home. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the boys play too rough or tease each other, and I need to step in. But most of the time the boys play (on the same floor a I am) nice and quite in the play room together. Yes, together! In our home nagging mom and running in the house is not allowed. So to make these rules stick I have to put in my share of the work UP FRONT, by letting the kids run around outside, so they stay nice and calm indoors.
Mom is preparing dinner and listening to the playroom activity. Still No T.V. though. But my i-Pod is playing. Sometimes the boys come into the kitchen and ask for their “Kids” play list – so we can dance together. So even though I am cooking and fairly on task, we still get a little boogie-woogie in.  


5:00 p.m. Tube Time Has Arrived – Yes, a little T.V., Computer, or Video Time is Here….

Are you excited? T.V. time is here. Well sort of. Because My older son didn’t actually watch cartoons or a movie until the age of 2, he actually prefers books or educational games. And this is also a behavior my younger son is learning.
TV/TUBE TIME:
Anywhere between 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m.  the boys know they can watch T.V. or play video games. So the older one also has Apps on my i-Pad and he is thrilled to play. Sometimes the younger one watches a cartoon, but he usually sticks with us in the kitchen, thumbing thru a book, or playing with one if his toys. But he is also peeking over big brothers shoulder when he plays the i-Pad, so looks like I'll download some baby Apps too.
Tube time is limited to one-hour! Why? Well you can search for yourself why too much TV/video games is bad, yes bad, for your kids. There are many days we don’t even watch T.V. because – as you can see from the schedule – the boys have a love of learning in their books and toys. But there is plenty of outside time, so they aren’t bored with their toys, and so they don’t have pent-up energy either. And a fantastic result, is mom has a mostly calm household. Well, Mostly!


6:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Dinner Time

The boys have to clean up their toy room and put things where they belong. Just like they hang up their coats after school, I do not want to clean up after my future teenagers, so now is the time to learn tidy-skills.
We wash our hands and the boys, both help set the table for dinner. Plates, cups utensils (less knives) and cloth napkins. Sometimes dad is home in time for dinner, and other times he is not. But we have an understanding at home that having happy kids is important, so that means we stick to a schedule.
At dinner we talk about our day(s), the best part of the day, and the next days plans. Sometimes we play a board game during dinner. We squeeze education and fun in at anytime that we can. Notice I said squeeze, not force. Learning and talking with your kids becomes a natural part of the day.  


7:00 p.m. Clean Up Time and Bedtime Routine Begins

Ah, it’s finally here, that time of day we all love: BEDTIME! The boys help clear the table, and mom puts the dinner leftovers away (with dad).
Usually we take a bath in the evening. But sometimes the boys play in their room upstairs and I can tiddy up as needed. If we do take baths, mom or dad stay in the bathroom with the kids keeping them company, supervising behavior and playing with the kids toys too. Bathtime can be fun when supervised and kept safe.


7:30 p.m. Bath time / Playtime ends.

We take the kids out of the tub one at a time. Sometimes we divide and concur one – boy per parent. But mom can handle both using this system. Either boys comes out first. There PJ’s are already in the bathroom with us. I dry them off and put PJ’s on. The 1st boys brushes his teeth and comes his hair as I dry and dress the next baby. Then when the older one is done he heads off to pick out his bedtime book and goes into bed. Once Mom is done dressing the baby we prepare for story time.
Again depending on the day, or if baby is extra tired. I will either read to baby in his crib a short book, then put his Soothing Bed Time CD, or I will put him in his brothers bed for a joint book. Other times, big brother does a “sleepover” in his baby brothers room (in the spare bed or in the sleeping bag on the floor, NOT IN THE CRIB WITH BABY) and I read to them both in there.
I read 1-2 books – it is predetermined BEFORE I start reading. We give hugs and kisses for the night (if needed the baby is transferred out of big brothers bed). Both boys get a nighttime CD and a night light to fall asleep.
The kids usually sleep well thru the night, until 6:30 a.m. for the day to begin again.


8:00 p.m. and On – Its all Mommy Time!  

I hope you have found this schedule insightful and I can only rave about the calm and fairly crisis free home we have – all because of a routine based day.

Additional Reading: I always like recommend where you can read more on the topics presented in these blog articles.
Topics: Outside Time, Having a Schedule, Babies Health, Raising a Boy, and sooo much more.  
Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book, 8th edition. I am an avid reader of child development books, and my mom always said I was a “Spock Baby.” Dr. Spock was an innovative Doctor for his time with wonderful and practical ideas about caring for babies. Now in it’s 8th edition, Dr. Spock is still a valuable resource for new and not-so-new moms.  
Topics: Understanding What TYPE of child you have, Schedules and Routines for Kids, Raising a Boy, Bedtimes Routines, and sooo much more.
Topics: Boys Learning Styles, Needs for Play time, Raising a Boy, How Other Countries Educate Boys.
Raising Cain: Boys in Focus, Michael Thompson Ph D. A Documentary. This website provides some q-n-a on raising boys and the experts feedback.


Originally Published on November 28, 2010
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