School Pencil Pouch Solutions: An Alternative School Supply Solution

I love back to school deals. I do not believe in paying FULL PRICE for anything. NADE, Zero, Zip. When we are out at second hand stores I always keep my eyes open for school supplies, and alternative school supply solutions. I keep them in our school supplies bin in the playroom. See the red box here.

This year we snagged a bunch:

$1 for 10 crayons markers

$1 for 12 color pencils

.50c for 100 color index cards

.50c for 2 glue sticks

.17 for 70-page wide rule notebooks

And thru sales and thrifting we've found:

.1c folders

$5 pocket file folder, accordion style

But Pencil Pouches drive me nuts. The vinyl ones have holes in them within a few weeks of school starting. Forget about the plastic ones! 

So I've resolved to searching for wallets and cosmetic cases! Canvas zippered is preferred, but through the discount stores like Ross, Marshall's and TJ Maxx I've found leather ones for under $5. 

My new treasures!

Make mistakes, breath ad laugh.out.loud!! 

How to Talk to Your Kids about Adults they should stay away from...

We are at our local park nearly everyday. And nearly everyday we see this weird guy in the neighborhood, walking his big black dog (who as an aside is very aggressive, barking at little kids). Why is he weird? Well I personally get a gut alarm and an uncomfortable feeling around him. He stares at the kids, and not in an admiring way. Especially staring at little girls. What can we as parents do? Unfortunately not much, but we can prepare our children for dealing with creepers around our neighborhood.

Stranger danger doesn't really exist. Most people who commit crimes against children have a pre existing relationship with them, either a family member, a friends parent or a neighbor. So it makes predicting who would harm your child even more difficult since their probably in the family circle already. Which brings us back to this guy at the park. He's in our neighborhood. My kids see him regularly, which seeing him often might make them think he's a safe adult just because we are "used to" seeing him around.  But as the Illinois Sexual Assault registry shows us, predators live everywhere, and sometimes in proximity of our neighborhood, arguably they are someone's neighbor!

I've told my boys, when he's in the park, to come and sit y me so I can tell them something. "See that man over there, don't point at him. He's the one with the black dog. Well we aren't ever allowed to go near him." 

"Why not?"

"Well you know how sometimes you get that weird feeling in your stomach when you've done something wrong, or you see someone doing something wrong? Well that's how mommy feels about him. And sometimes adults know a little bit more then kids about weird adults who might be unsafe. So lets stay away from him."

Over the last two years we have seen this man around. And I've told my boys not to make a big deal about him. Just to always observe where he is, and if he's ever getting close to you, you go play on the other side away from him. And they do pay attention. I've alerted their "inner red flag" gut system. And I'm teaching them to pay attention to that feeling.

One day we were at the local Donut Shop with my husband and the kids and he was there, sitting with two other men. They all seemed a little intoxicated. There we some pre-teen girls there, in summer shorts and T's. The 3 men were staring at them, and making comments to each other under there breaths. Husband and I were in ear shot. We we disgusted. The girls were 10-13 years old, not physically developed yet. It was horrifying. The girls left, and we left after them. 

Whenever I have an uncomfortable Feeling about someone, I always question that feeling, "am I jumping to conclusions? Maybe I'm wrong?" But since I pay close attention usually I'm right. Usually it doesn't turn out to be nothing. So moms pay attention to your inner voice, instinct, and that gut feeling we get. It's not nothing! And tell your kids!

Since the donut shop incident, I've warned my kids even firmer. They are "never allowed near him. And if he ever tries to talk to a girl when your here you must let mommy know right away." What I'd do, I don't know. Probably what I do well, I'd yell at the guy vulgarities and tell him to leave the girls alone, while telling her to get away from him.

He's gotten more forward thru the years, coming into the park play area nearer to the kids, and not just the outter perimeter of the park. That's frustrating. But we do what we can which is notice him, and stay away.

The days are long and the years are short, so enjoy every moment now. 

Don't forget to flush the toilet and wash your hands!!

My boys, love them dearly, consistently forget to flush the toilet and wash their hands. So I've implemented a few rules through the years to try and get them to remember. And I think we finally found a way that works.

Originally, I would continually remind them, every time they walked out of the bathroom. "Did you flush the toilet and wash your hands?" Usually I got a "oh I forgot" and then they turn around and do their job.  But this reminder method is so annoying. Why should I be constantly scanning over them reminding them, the idea is to get them to do it by themselves. So we had to think of something new.

So, silly as I am sometimes, I recorded myself on a voice memo on my smart phone saying "don't forget to flush the toilet and wash your hands." And I would just play the message every time the boys came out of the bathroom and they would be silly knowing that the message was going to be played back.

When the boys were being potty trained, every time they sat on the potty, then pee'd on the potty, they'd get a sticker or a single piece of candy (an MnM or a skittle). Where I failed was in that training. I didn't make THEM flush the toilet, I did it. I didn't make them wash their hands, I turned on/off the water and washed them up for them.

The boys are 8 and 4, and old enough to understand consequences. Siting at the table one day I asked what we should do hen they forget to flus and wash up? My oldest son said take candy away (and my younger son said no way), the younger said no cartoons (and the older one said no way, it's still summer!). Then the younger one said "ok, no candy." 

But I added "here's the deal: if you forget to flush the toulet OR wash your hands, and mom has to remind you of either responsibility, them there will be NO candy or ANY sweets, including ice cream, for the ENTIRE DAY." Both boys were smiling and saying "Ooohh, that's a tough one!" But they agreed its a good consequence to help remember there job. 

I am thrilled to report that over the course of ONE-WEEK, each one had forgotten at one time a part of their job. I asked "so, what's your consequence?" "No candy for the whhhooollleeee day!" That's right. They got a big hug, but handled it really well, no tears, saying I or got to flush when treats were doled out after dinner.

Finally - a method that works!!

The days are long, and wet, and sticky, and dirty, but the years are short. And there's bath time! Remember to enjoy their childhoods too.

Make mistakes, breathe, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud.

Bank of America tried to Charge Me an Application Fee when The Application Process MADE my Rate Lock Expire!! Instead, I Got Paid!!

I applied for a mortgage loan refinance with Bank of America. After a grueling 6 months we finally closed our loan, with our promised rate, even tho the "rate lock" had expired.

Our first rate lock expiration was January 19. I was working with a very nice processor to get my loan processed. She's the go between me, the consumer, and "they" the underwriters who actually look at all of the paperwork and process my loan. We were applying in a new "less paper" mortgage refinance option called "Fast Track" since we were long time customers in good standing with good a good credit rating. The loan application took 2 hours! But almost no paperwork was required from us in the process (priceless!).

Long story short, I'd get those annoying emails on how "my loan needs I close before my rate expires"... However all this paperwork jazz is really outta my control once I send them what they have asked for.

So my application was taken in October over the phone by a rep. in Arizona. I've been in touch via email weekly with the bank. There system tracks these communications. When in December, my closing wasn't happening I wrote an "email of concern" to the girl who took my application. She said we "might close my loan even faster. I'm on the fast track to approval." Then I wrote again in January.

"We have only 7 days until the rate lock period ends. Please advise. It doesn't look like I'm going to close my loan in time" She wrote back: "if needed we can extend our rate lock."

I wrote back: "We are long time HAPPY Bank of America customers. Since we locked my rate in October (now January) rates have fallen. Since its the underwriting side taking extensive time processing my loan, I'd like to request a revised more current rate."

Of course I know they won't/can't do this. And they shouldn't charge me any fee (generally 1 point (that's 1% of your financing amount), in my case $1,500) to extend the rate either!! She said they'd extend the rate "as a courtesy." So I write back an extensive email asking for at least a "credit" of any sort to my loan for the undue burden, email highlights include:

"I've consistently received emails saying the processor is "checking on third party stuff." I have submitted all my required documentation for the loan expediently. We are long time HAPPY Bank of America customers, not typical in banking these days. Any service issues in the past have always been resolved and we stay because of this kind of good customer service. The issues and delays are not your fault or mine, they are a failure of the system!

Our loans been in process 75+ days. The rate lock is "not a promise to close," but it is a commitment of delivery of my loan to your investors.

Your loan documentation rate disclosure says on page 7 "we will do everything we can to provide our customers with excellent customer service, and address and concerns regarding your loan."

I am asking for a financial incentive to finish the loan. I realize you can't give me a new rate, but you can certainly offer me a credit towards the loan. Every bank has a policy to cover issues around Rate

Locks. Please see what you, or your supervisors can do."

They offered me my existing rate plus 1.5 point credit to my loan (that's 350$). 

But don't get too excited. The paperwork processor was charging me incorrectly on the revised extended rate lock ($1,000) and no sign of the credit. It was on the revised document called the "Good Faith Estate." My credit should've put me 900$ ahead. Getting this issue fixed went on until the night before closing, when my Good Faith Estimate still showed a new $1,000 charge for my rate and no credit as was promised. So what do you - an average consumer do? Start dialing UP.

Every email and voicemail had at the bottom the name of the immediate supervisor for the representative I was working with and their phone number of email address. Use it!! So I called up, and every supervisor had a supervisor, I called them too. I left voicemails up the chain 6 people until the last guy had no email or phone number to give me. He was apparently a "Big Boss."

Briefly my voice message was this, but if I emailed the below text to the supervisors, it was followed by the email trail as mentioned I this blog of my discount toward my loan because of the "system failure."

"I am desperately calling because I am in the loan pipeline for nearly 4 months, and it's the Friday night before my Saturday closing which I need to reschedule again, because 1. my application is being INCORRECTLY charged a point for a rate extension which you the bank initiated. And 2. my $1,500 credit has still not been applied. Please help me resolve this issue. I am calling supervisors because I don't know what to do anymore, can you help me get my APPROVED loan closed?!?!"

Well, at 7:30 am Saturday I got a call from a very nice supervisor who was All.Over.My.Loan!! He repaired the rate charge, applied my credit (and then some). 

Steps to negotiating with the bank:

1. Persistent and polite. 

2. Playing a little stupid helped too.

3. Don't give up

4. Use information about "customer service" to help your cause too, it's probably written in the loan documents disclosures. Those are worth reading! They saved us $3,000 in closing costs.

5. Don't threaten to leave or walk away, because no one wins then.

6. Finally, go up the chain of command. It takes time, you'll tell your story 100x's, and maybe to 3 supervisors up, but take whatever help your offered! 

Make mistakes, breath, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud. 

Our 8th Birthday Experience and the Blunders and Hurdles to get there.

There's two parts of the story your going to read here:

Part I - My Sons 8th Birthday Experience and His Treasure Map Adventure that went off without a hitch

Part II - You can see all the blunders of the day and where mom made plenty of mistakes. (Go ahead, skip to part II). I have a little "sub-title" to this post called "Moms shouldn't be perfect because were Ruining our sons chances of picking a Normal Girl as a wife!"

I'm preparing for my sons 8th birthday. We're visiting my mom in Indiana. The visit is always fun, and we knew he'd love celebrating his "birthday experience" here. (More on no party birthdays in a separate post.) He chose pancakes for breakfast, so we whipped some up in the pan with the blueberries that grandma picked up at the blueberry farm earlier in the week. The pancakes are my special ones made from my "air batter" which I whip the egg whites first, incorporating air, this helps my pancakes be extra light - and not the hard bricks they used to be (read more on things I do differently here at the Old Mom meet New Mom post).

Meanwhile, inspiration struck, so I've ripped up a paper bag for 'an authentic look' to draw my sons birthday present treasure map. He wanted to "hunt" for his gift like Indiana Jones.

So I thought through a path and then started drawing his map.. Grandmas house is in the middle. 

areyousureaboutthatblog Birthday Treasure Map

Yes this was a "whipped" up map, complete with 6 post-its "Clues" like: "Your gift rhymes with words like tramp, stamp, lamp, and mean, bean, lean." (He's practicing reading and doesn't even know it!) Another clue was "your presents under something Big, Tall, and is spelled with 4 letters: _ _ _ _ ." So after their cartoon time I set up our pancake breakfast, and the boys served themselves. That's our new thing, self serving portions at mealtime. I made clear I need to check on his present, and he can't follow me because he'll ruin his own adventure, and that's no fun. So he 'sent me out' around the house to make sure everything was set, and I put out the clues.

He enjoyed the hunt. And this was the part of the story of that went well.

The Blunders of the Day

So I'm not the perfect mom. There were some my real blunders today. I was cranky on his birthday morning but I still kissed him when he came to my bed, but his cough would've woken baby girl who still sleeps in my bed, so I asked him to go watch tv, as I snoozed a little longer. This birthday morning I forgot he wanted a blueberry smile pancake, so I scraped down the bowl for a teeny tiny bit of batter to make the pancake, last, and put the blueberry eyes and smiley face in to which the blueberry fell out as it was plated.

Then I put a wet spoon on the map I had just made, cringing that it'd bleed thru the markers and clues. I also realized that I had no gift from my young son to his brother. We didn't scrape some time together for even a card. (At dinner I whispered, "give your brother a small plate of your fries and tell him 'Happy Birthday!" Birthday boy was happy with that.) And as for our gift I hadn't even bought anything until "accidentally" seeing that trampoline the day before at our Salvation Army Galux. (Galux is family 'code' for thrift store. In Poland Galux was the Nordstrom's or What was the Woolworths of department stores. So appropo.) It was new and $9.98 btw. On the flip side I'm pretty good at coming up with little clever ideas so I had a backup gift plan.

But then I was thinking, it's a good that I screw up. Not such a terrible screw up, but its not the perfection that the Facebook pictures make it seem to be. Because one day my sons will want to find a partner in life, and if boys look for girls similar to their moms, I can't be "perfect" because then he will never get married!?! What things will she need to perfectly do for him? Never burn his food? Never miss buying a gift? Who's perfect? And do I want a perfect Daughter in Law? No thank you. I do not want Barbie figure, Martha Stewart cookin, Nanny Jo at my house! I want her to be normal. Not high maintenance perfection. To laugh at her mistakes and learn from them. Laugh.Out.Loud. I want her to be honest to herself and him when things go crazy.... And things will go wrong,... they have to, because that's Life, forks in the road are everywhere, she will have some coping skills to deal with it. Hopefully the partner t-he-y marries stays calm at a dilemma seeing an adventure, an opportunity for trying something new, and not a pitch fork!

And I admit that I mess up to my kids for partially this reason. Life doesn't always go the way we want. Then they see how mom handles that dilemma. And hopefully pick a girl who adjust easily too. (And I'm being honest with the boys 1. because that helps build their character, 2. they won't say I lied to them while they were growing up, 3. and I'm praying my honesty will lead to less "mom you screwed me up because..." ). 

So ladies, (and dads striving at perfection, this applies to us all) don't be the perfect mom. Daughter-in-Law's thank me later. 

The days are long the years are short. Make mistakes, breath, reflect, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud.