So as I logged the days successes and failures I realized that being "the Perfect Mom" who doesn't make mistakes is screwing up our kids! Where in life is there continual perfection? Of course there are the perfect blooms in flowers and amazing perfect sunsets. But is everyday that way? Doesn't the flower wilt? Isn't there smog or clouds to hide the setting sun? And so goes parenting.
My closing thoughts from that blog post highlight the need for lack of perfection as a mom and dad. We pick up here after the days review of what went well in planning my sons birthday experience, and didn't go so well with near HUGE errors... When it hit me:
"But then I was thinking, it's a good thing that I screw up.
Not such terrible screw ups, to completely ruin the day, but it's also not the perfection that the "Facebook pictures" or pinterest make it seem to be. Because one day my sons will want to find a partner in life, and if boys look for girls similar to their moms, I CAN'T be "perfect" because then he will never get married!?! What things will she need to perfectly do for him? Never burn his food? Never miss buying a gift? Always ironing clothes and making elegant bento box lunches? Who is perfect?
And do I want a perfect Daughter-in-Law? No thank you. I do not want Barbie figure, Martha Stewart cookin, Nanny Jo rearing at my house! I want her to be normal. Not high maintenance perfection.
(Even Martha Stewart has a "team" helping her along the crafty way.)
It's healthier ti live in reality, to laugh at her Making Mistakes that will be on the road of life, and more importantly to learn from them. I want her to Laugh.Out.Loud. & to be honest to herself and him when things go crazy.... And things will go wrong,... they have to, because that's Life. Forks in the road are everywhere, she will beed to have some coping skills to deal with it if my son will have sanity in his life. Hopefully the partner t-he-y marries stays calm at a dilemma and can see an adventure instead, an opportunity for trying something new, and not a pitch fork!
I admit that I mess with my own kids for this very reason: Life doesn't always go the way we want. And when it doesn't I don't get to just freak out, scream, cry, blame them, rant or rave. They are watching - intentionally or not - to see how mom handles that life challenge/dilemma. And hopefully when the time comes I have set enough good examples that the boys will pick a girl who adjusts easily.
On our growing up journey, I'm continually being honest with the boys
1. because that helps build their character
2. they won't say I lied to them while they were growing up
3. and I'm praying my honesty will lead to less "mom you screwed me up because..."
So ladies (and dads striving at perfection, this applies to us all) Don't Do It! Don't be the perfect mom. Daughter-in-Law's thank me later.
The days are long the years are short. Make mistakes." A lot of mistakes.
YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO
Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . . Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play.
From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )
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Make mistakes, breath, reflect, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud.
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