Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys"
When my kids get a little crazy, and simply cannot follow the rules, sometimes mommy has to implement a punishment. Ad I don't mean the occasional name calling and subtle teasing. These consequences usually happen after being together for a week, like when during Spring Break after the newness of being ALL together again wears off and instead we get on each others nerves in a major way. In these instances the everyday "take a break in your room" or "please use inside voices" doesn't cut it. Because the behaviors of yelling at each other or calling names to intentionally hurt each others feelings repeat everyday. I personally am not a fan of consequences but they are unfortunately necessary to help learn important life lessons. And the more serious and swift consequences has an interesting effect on our familial unit.
I tell my kids they "can't play in the toy room for 2 days." It's not that I am taking their toys AWAY. Because my older son, who saves his various birthday and other money gifts, in his mind he can buy himself a new toy/s. Instead I am taking away their "power of play." They CANNOT PLAY with their toys... And that so much worse!
As we know adult men, I'm stereotyping, love their toys. Especially playing with their toys. So taking away their ability to play with said toy IS TORTURE!! My kids pace in front of their toy room, looking over the gate, pointing out a particular favorite to their sibling, asking "how soon until the toy room reopened?" Their toys are RIGHT THERE, just over the threshold, within their reach every day, but they ARE NOT ALLOWED to play.
The interesting affect this "Cannot Play" consequence has on our kids is they unite. They unite in their sadness of the consequence. They commiserate in their feelings. And eventually they reflect on what caused the consequence and apologize for their needless behavior (okay, mostly mommy prompts this last part). I have come to appreciate consequences NOT as a punishment, but for the end result of a united family.
Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys", a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr. Top: NBA Los Angeles Clippers Owner Donald Sterling and the Clippers logo from TMZ. Bottom: Our Toy Room Immediately after the "You Can't Play with your Toys" punishment is implemented, my kids view of the close yet unobtainable toys.
When my kids get a little crazy, and simply cannot follow the rules, sometimes mommy has to implement a punishment. Ad I don't mean the occasional name calling and subtle teasing. These consequences usually happen after being together for a week, like when during Spring Break after the newness of being ALL together again wears off and instead we get on each others nerves in a major way. In these instances the everyday "take a break in your room" or "please use inside voices" doesn't cut it. Because the behaviors of yelling at each other or calling names to intentionally hurt each others feelings repeat everyday. I personally am not a fan of consequences but they are unfortunately necessary to help learn important life lessons. And the more serious and swift consequences has an interesting effect on our familial unit.
I tell my kids they "can't play in the toy room for 2 days." It's not that I am taking their toys AWAY. Because my older son, who saves his various birthday and other money gifts, in his mind he can buy himself a new toy/s. Instead I am taking away their "power of play." They CANNOT PLAY with their toys... And that so much worse!
As we know adult men, I'm stereotyping, love their toys. Especially playing with their toys. So taking away their ability to play with said toy IS TORTURE!! My kids pace in front of their toy room, looking over the gate, pointing out a particular favorite to their sibling, asking "how soon until the toy room reopened?" Their toys are RIGHT THERE, just over the threshold, within their reach every day, but they ARE NOT ALLOWED to play.
The interesting affect this "Cannot Play" consequence has on our kids is they unite. They unite in their sadness of the consequence. They commiserate in their feelings. And eventually they reflect on what caused the consequence and apologize for their needless behavior (okay, mostly mommy prompts this last part). I have come to appreciate consequences NOT as a punishment, but for the end result of a united family.
Banned for Life, Why the NBA is just Like a Mom who says "You Can't Play with Your Toys", a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr. Top: NBA Los Angeles Clippers Owner Donald Sterling and the Clippers logo from TMZ. Bottom: Our Toy Room Immediately after the "You Can't Play with your Toys" punishment is implemented, my kids view of the close yet unobtainable toys.
Now imagine this "No playing with your toys, EVER! You are Banned FOR LIFE." punishment? My kids normally do not through tantrums and they would be kicking and screaming on the floor!!! And that's what he NBA commissioner did to L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling with their Lifetime Ban, you can't play with our toys. Now the commissioner can't actually take Donald's toys away (even tho he is gonna try). And yes, Donald can buy news toys. But he has publically been embarrassed and shut out from playing with our toys!
All the while this punishment does the most important and truly only function that is important, it creates a united family in the NBA Organization! The punishment to Sterling isn't so much a punishment for him, as it is to unite the NBA players, coaches, employees and officials - saying we are united AGAINST racist behavior in our group. PERIOD.
The remaining racists in the NBA will be temporarily closeted. And frankly, as I also see with my kids, there will be a change in behaviors. There will still be racists, however they will attempt to control themselves a little more due to the swift and firm punishment publically issued today. Societies change, slowly. Policies and our actions related to racism also change slowly. But we DO CHANGE, in every generation making some progress partially because of PUBLIC DECISIONS like the NBA Commissioner shared today. Racism will not be tolerated in our family!
Thank you NBA Commissioner for ousting a member of our family who was not playing nice, and not being professional, and not allowing his racist comments to go unpunished. Donald Sterling can buy different toys, but he can't play with ours!
I recently blogged about "Banned for Life, How to punish the Rich and Powerful." And I realized that the NBA punishment issued today is no different then when I need to make some serious consequence decisions for my kids. I take their power away, to help guide them to some better decisions.
Original post April 29, 2014
Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud
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