Dont Be a Perfect Mom (or Dad or Guardian), Your Screwing Up Your KidsFuture!

Back when I was planning my older sons 8th birthday I blogged about the ease (and pain) that comes along with making memorable birthdays. Which "memorable birthdays" could be a post all their own. I do t think our parents generation put that much pressure on themselves "making" a great day beyond friends and cake.

So as I logged the days successes and failures I realized that being "the Perfect Mom" who doesn't make mistakes is screwing up our kids! Where in life is there continual perfection? Of course there are the perfect blooms in flowers and amazing perfect sunsets. But is everyday that way? Doesn't the flower wilt? Isn't there smog or clouds to hide the setting sun? And so goes parenting. 

My closing thoughts from that blog post highlight the need for lack of perfection as a mom and dad. We pick up here after the days review of what went well in planning my sons birthday experience, and didn't go so well with near HUGE errors... When it hit me:

"But then I was thinking, it's a good thing that I screw up. 

Not such terrible screw ups, to completely ruin the day, but it's also not the perfection that the "Facebook pictures" or pinterest make it seem to be. Because one day my sons will want to find a partner in life, and if boys look for girls similar to their moms, I CAN'T be "perfect" because then he will never get married!?! What things will she need to perfectly do for him? Never burn his food? Never miss buying a gift? Always ironing clothes and making elegant bento box lunches? Who is perfect? 

And do I want a perfect Daughter-in-Law? No thank you. I do not want Barbie figure, Martha Stewart cookin, Nanny Jo rearing at my house! I want her to be normal. Not high maintenance perfection.

(Even Martha Stewart has a "team" helping her along the crafty way.) 

It's healthier ti live in reality, to laugh at her Making Mistakes that will be on the road of life, and more importantly to learn from them. I want her to Laugh.Out.Loud. & to be honest to herself and him when things go crazy.... And things will go wrong,... they have to, because that's Life.  Forks in the road are everywhere, she will beed to have some coping skills to deal with it if my son will have sanity in his life. Hopefully the partner t-he-y marries stays calm at a dilemma and can see an adventure instead, an opportunity for trying something new, and not a pitch fork!

I admit that I mess with my own kids for this very reason: Life doesn't always go the way we want. And when it doesn't I don't get to just freak out, scream, cry, blame them, rant or rave. They are watching - intentionally or not - to see how mom handles that life challenge/dilemma. And hopefully when the time comes I have set enough good examples that the boys will pick a girl who adjusts easily. 

On our growing up journey, I'm continually being honest with the boys 

1. because that helps build their character 

2. they won't say I lied to them while they were growing up

3. and I'm praying my honesty will lead to less "mom you screwed me up because..." 

So ladies (and dads striving at perfection, this applies to us all) Don't Do It! Don't be the perfect mom. Daughter-in-Law's thank me later. 

The days are long the years are short. Make mistakes." A lot of mistakes. 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

Make mistakes, breath, reflect, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud. 

Five Great Lessons for Montessori Elementary - An Introduction and Lesson Idea List to Supplement School Work

We love learning. We mostly love fun learning. Sometimes the kids come up with the idea of what we will explore, and other times mommy plans a lesson. I'm a huge advocate of supplementing school work. While I cannot replace the 7 hours of school work and experience that happens during the day, I can add value to what they are learning. 

And so I research approaches and ideas that work for our lifestyle.  School curriculum tends to give information in "bite size pieces." I don't feel the boys are immersed in learning, or getting in depth understanding of subjects, especially if the solar system lasts on e chapter. I also think that since there is so MUCH we can learn - that ongoing hunger for information keeps our discussions going. 

While I am not going to tackle homeschooling, for reasons listed in another post, I do love to supplement their learning at home. And that's where this type of research comes on.

I read a lot of science based texts. I read National Geographic monthly, I watch nova and nature on PBS, and when my husband is watching his marvel comics or new hero shows, I am in the other room not watching them. 

"I gather a stack of books at the library and

the kids pick which ones we take home. We

read thru them, discuss certain photos, and

I google their questions ... a lot."

I am the nerd at the party who cannot share her bug collecting amateur entomology, most find it gross. (But I will say many people who follow our insect collecting do find it interesting.) And so I share with my captive audience, my kids. Next is astrology because we got an AWESOME TELESCOPE.... that's for this summer 2016.

Dad's EASY Cat in the Hat Costume

Husband needs a costume for school...surprise! Every year it is an adventure with him. He takes for-evah to decide what his costume will be. I love helping and making it... I would just like to start sooner then 1-week before it's due.

Shopping for material or digging thru bins, measuring him, once then twice. And finishing touches. I mentioned the constant children interruptions for drinks .snacks, wiping something, etc. etc. etc.

Anyway this one was easy.

Supplies:

• Felt for the hat - white and red strips.
• Left over stuffing for some light filler - so it wouldn't tip over. 
• Extra red felt for the bow tie, with one single tail hanging down.
• White felt circle for the stomach.
• Plain black long sleeve shirt.
• White gloves (left over from being a pal bearer ( I know they are supposed to go in with the coffin, stop yelling at me,... he know he knows. I even offered to bury his grandmas funeral gloves in the back yard and he insists on keeping them NOW because they paid off - - - as a costume accessory!)

Cat in the Hat costume in progress. Felt pieces for hat.

Cat in the Hat costume completed. What an awesome trooper. 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Getting to know your kids, interview questions

Getting to know our kids can be a little easier than usual. Sometimes we adults struggle with what to talk about with kids. They really are similar to us adults. They have interests, desires, want attention and respect.

I came across some first / new date questions to ask when you are getting to know someone. I narrowed them down to a version for "getting to know my kids."

Pick one question, or two, go ahead and interview you kid/s, and know that their answers will be fun and hopefully you'll learn something new.

I keep this list as a note in my iPhone. When we are at a restaurant or bored in the car and we need a distraction... I will reference the list. Really, this has been such a fun occasional activity. Go ahead - try it!!

These questions have also encouraged conversations to guide the kids naturally on situations that happened at school. Like fighting, arguing, or hurt feelings. And how to cope and talk it through. 

1. What do you like to dream about?
2. What is your best memory this school year?
3. Who is your hero? Why?
4. How would you describe your family?
5. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
6. What are you most proud of yourself for?
7. Who is the kindest person you know? Why?
8. What do you like most about your best friend?
9. What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?
10. If you were an animal what one would you be and why?
11. When is the last time someone hurt your feelings? How did you react?
12. Do you know someone who is going though a hard time? How can you help them?
13. What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
14. If you could keep only one thing, out of everything you have, what would it be?
15. Who do you think is really successful? Why?
16. What’s the best thing about your teacher this year?
17. When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
18. What three words best describe you?
19. What’s something that makes you angry?
20. What’s the best compliment you ever received?

Young Son and Baby Girl on our daily walk. They took off talking on one question without mom.

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

When you talk to your kids, what can you talk about? A list of Questions to Keep and Use

Talk to your kids, that's all we hear. My classic go to line instead of how was school is "did an alien visit your class today?" I always get a giggle and it leads to "no, but what did happen was...." I still ask this questions 10 years into parenting - -

I found these questions not long ago. It was actually from a dating article on how to get to know your partner better. I love these questions on getting to know someone better. Even when it comes to my kids. Talk about getting their perspective. And getting to know them on a deeper level. Or event my own partner. My husband and I discussed a few of these one night. And it was nice, pure fun.

"Did an alien visit your class today?" 

Get ready to open a new new perspective on your kids. The answer I heard were pretty awesome. The first time I sat with older son he asked me one Question and I asked him one. However when I took younger son out for "mommy and me" breakfast he loved these questions - and we went thru the whole list!! 

• What do you like to dream about?
• What is your best memory this school year?
• Who is your hero? Why?
• How would you describe your family?
• If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
• What are you most proud of yourself for?
• Who is the kindest person you know? Why?
• What do you like most about your best friend?
• What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?
• If you were an animal what one would you be and why?
• When is the last time someone hurt your feelings? How did you react?
• Do you know someone who is going though a hard time? How can you help them?
• What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
• If you could keep only one thing, out of everything you have, what would it be?
• Who do you think is really successful? Why?
• What's the best thing about your teacher this year?
• When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
• What three words best describe you?
• What's something that makes you angry?
• What's the best compliment you ever received?

Charlie Brown on Exhibit at the Peggy Notebart
Nature Museum, Nature Based Excerpts. Sometimes my conversation
with the kids goes the same route...

Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud. and Ask Lotsa Questions!