Our Homework Contract

At the beginning of the school year my son was still learning the daily homework routine. He'd get frustrated always feeling that I was "adding to his homework assignments" when in fact it was already part of an unlearned routine. So I told him we will make a deal - "a contract."

Mommy what's that? I loved being able to explain that it's an agreement people make, they usually write it down and then sign their names, as a sort of promise to follow the rules listed on the paper.

So I came up with a few suggestions and so did he..Mine were the work only can be turned in if he wrote the "most beautiful letters" on the page. And we would have to correct wrong answers on tests, "so we can learn the correct answer." He wanted to have a piece of candy after every worksheet was completed.

Then we reviewed our ideas and circled the ones we both agreed on. Here's our final: Homework Contract

1. Review our assignment book and complete worksheets to packets from school. (Sometimes we divide the number of pages from a weekly packet into manageable portions and do a little each day before Fridays due date.)

2. Review our spelling words and play spelling city. (Kids learn quickly and easily by playing games, and this is screen time worth having!)

3. Math - practice daily with a school sheet or moms sheet. (I printed our a stack of math worksheets from various websites as practice. My son can use any strategies to complete the work like counting on his fingers or his number line.)

4. Study for tests (usually we have a study guide from school).

5. Copy work (I learned that the 2nd grade students don't do a lot of writing during the day, so I added a Homeschool idea of writing copy work daily. I printed out poems, quotes, kids song lyrics, etc via this web site so my son can "copy" the letters and learn proper letter formation. It helps with spelling too. I am happy to report after 7 months we've seen great improvement in his penmanship. I just won't accept that boys don't write nicely, beautiful penmanship takes time and practice!)

You need to ask for help whenever you need it. Mom will help you and show you how to do the work, give examples, but Mom will NOT do the work for you.

X________________sons signed his name

X________________ Mom signed

My young son drives me nuts, or is it just me?

I need to simply change my expectations because I expect too much of my kids. Ya, it is my own fault that I can yell at times, and get so frustrated, over what exactly? Noise, a mess, playing rough?

My older son talks clearly, with a great vocabulary, but you know what... he doesn't comprehend concepts yet (money, time, competition and teasing). And he emotionally doesnt understand alot - like that blank stare when I yell. My kids freeze in fear - they were just having fun... why is mom yelling?

I read an interesting article about gifted kids - those who can complete complex math problems in high school, or master playing beethoven by age 8. The brain develops the "skills" but does not develop the emotional brdiges for long term success. Can you imagine the pressure on an 8 year old to perform infront of a large crowd because he is the best? Even if he loves playing, the one thing he isn't doing is being a kid. And as kids play, and face "kids play" challenges, they develop - slowly - the emotions they need to deal with things as an adult. Their "emotional tool box" which will follow them thru life.

So I reflected on this article for my own good...

Stay calm cause really no ones dying - I literally take a deep breath when I feel I am getting angry.

Ironically I did a good job teaching my 3 year old to say "I am getting angry" so we can know to respect his space. I am relearning 30+ years of bad habits - - so I need to take deep breaths!

My own mom used to say: "what's your problem?" I realize that she too didn't know how to put into nicer words: "Honey, I love you,... I know your having a hard time understanding how you feel,... let's talk about it." I realized I don't want to bring up my kids, repeating the cycle, and them bearing the same trauma as me.

Do Not Hit

We have a don't hit policy at home, that incudes grabbing ears, hair, etc. I think the need to get physical arises because my emotions where not allowed, and I was shut down whenever I wanted to speak.... so through the years that built up as anger - 0 to 10 instant anger. My mom would yell and rant through the house and if I spoke up she'd tell me to shut up and listen. I would sit in my room FUMING MAD, mumbling the worst things under my breath.  I never understood where my own anger came from until very recently.And then the final straw - I watched an episode of the super nanny, which usually makes me feel so much better as a mom, where Joan sat a dad down at kid level and yelled at him. The dad could see what a big bully he looked like to his kids. I couldnt swallow the lump in my throat for days.

My husbands mother would pull his ears! How horrible. So when hubby started doing that to our little 3 year old first son, and after I asked constantly for him to stop - guess what? I decided one day when I was within his reach, right after he pulled my son's ear, I pulled my husbands ear - HARD! Needless to say - luckily - it never happened again. Unfortunatly with habits like this, yelling and ear pulling, I think we need to take our own medicine so we know how it feels. Now my husband also takes a deep breath!

I literally take a deep breath when I feel this angry. Then I ask myself, "Is this situation so bad that I will be mad about it in 5 years?" Usually the answer is no.

The good news is... my anger is in check. I stay significantly more calm. My oldest son asks me openly "mom, why do you look frustrated?" And I am honest about what is bothering me... but I am cautious NOT to blame him. I do say things like:

"You didn't put your shoes away, and your brother is screaming, and the baby is hungry... it's alot for mom to deal with right now, but in 10 minutes i'll be okay"


As long as we continue to grow, improve, and be better parents for ourselves and for who our kids are right now this plan can work. Its so simple. And for me, for us, we are okay.

Activities with Kids: Poetry

The Story Behind the Poem:

We often do some very impromtu activities with our kids. and sometimes their creativity, with a sprinkling of ideas from mom, can inspire a great activity.

My 7 year old son came home from school saying that after homework was done he wanted to write a poem. "What kind of poem?" I asked. "I don't know yet" he said.

We went about tending to our responsibilities - he has to change his clothes, unpack his backpack and lunch bag, feed the dog and eat a snack. Then 30 or so minutes of play and straight to start homework. But today was so incredibly, unseasonably warm and beautiful, we stopped at the park for our play time.

For homework he had to study for his science test. At the end of the study packet was a little activity for the family. There was a list of words about natural resources including: natural resources, minerals, recycling, erosion, sand, weathering, boulder and pollution. The activity said we should include these words in our everyday language. We are a nature, outdoorsy, kind of family so we use this vocabulary often. I asked him perhaps to consider that for his poem we should use the words in the list, and mom will write a poem too?

We decided we would see how many words we could use up in one poem. He had a little trouble with rhyming, but then told me his teacher said a poem doesn't have to rhyme. At age 7, he's going through a very competitive phase. So he said yeah "let's see who writes the best poem." I said "it's not about the best poem, it's about seeing how we use the same words in our poetry but each poem will be very different."

Here are our poems: 

with the titles added after we finished writing and reading them aloud to each other.


Natural Resources by Older Son, age 7

When I look up into space I see a boulder at the beach I see sand it tickles my feet.

I see a recycling factory on the way to Indiana.

To not pollution the earth I do not throw stuff on the ground.



Moms Poem: 

Nature Was Talking to Me

As I stood on the mountaintop,
I looked upon a special spot,
where the air, sand and sea,
felt like they were talking to me.

These natural resources are ours,
just like when you see the stars. Weathering is nature's way,
of taking some poisons away.
Erosion doesn't have to be,
the way you take her away from me.

Pollution is a danger,
Recycling is no stranger.
Use a boulder to build your home,
but replace trees when you roam.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

A Poem: Nursing, As We Drift off to Sleep

As I mentioned in a previous post, the lactation consultant who helped me at the hospital when my youngest son was born taught me how to co-sleep with him. The "tummy to tummy" method is wonderful, with towels or thick sheets rolled up behind mom and babies back (but not near the head or neck!) provide added support and prevent anyone rolling away.

This is how I slept for a whole year with my youngest son and now my baby girl. Some days it gets mundane and tiresome. But and let me be clear I feel very fulfilled and I am luckily not Longing for anything in this regard. But now as we approach baby girl turning one year old, I know I'll miss these days.

A poem: Nursing my Baby, As we Drift off to Sleep.

As I lay here and nurse you in the middle of the night,
The only thing that illuminates us is the street light,
I trace your face and see your eyes that start to quiver,
And your little hand wraps my finger and I just shiver,
At the thought of sheer happiness with you here where I lay my head.
And you fall off contented and as we drift off to sleep in my bed.


Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect. And don't forget to Laugh.Out.Loud