Being a Mom, Sometimes I just wanna Scream

Sometimes I feel like this... Being a Mom, I just want to Scream. Let it all out. Just because the day isn't going well. Or I am frustrated, or tired, or I just can't... [INSERT MOMMY ISSUE HERE]. This is the picture that hangs in my spice cabinet. In 2009 I spent some of the day coloring with my older son. It's Lucy from Charlie Brown, just letting go. I colored this picture during our coloring time.


Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

And then, "for no reason" my older son brought home a note for me from Kindergarten. It was not an assignment. It was written during free time.

"Dear Mom,

You have love that is unstoppable from getting to me

Love (older son)"
Written in Kindergarten 2009

This note hangs above my screaming picture...in the spice cabinet. And when I just look at it, intentionally or not, I really do feel better.


Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud

Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream

Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Sometimes I feel like this, and that's okay.

What can parents do to help kids with Standardized Test Anxiety ? And now with the PARCC test too.

Standardized testing is a part of our educational system. And ISATs are the current hot topic. But there is a real issue here for me. My son, who usually isn't high anxiety is feeling EXTREMELY anxious about the ISAT. And anxiety is NOT the norm in our home. What can parents do to help kids deal with ISAT anxiety and testing? 

Some parents choose to opt-out their kids from taking the test, Sun Times Article and Progress Illinois. Most parents remain the all frustrating neutral and "do nothing," but I won't stand by and ruin my sons emotional well-being.

Being a mom Sometimes I just wanna scream, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

My parenting role is summed up in my blog introduction: "...and now I need to teach them some basic survival skills, so my children can be successful adults. These blogs are about my observations in our day to day lives, and how I use them as teachable moments." Are ISATs a teachable moment. NOT really, but they are an opportunity to help with some ANXIETY AND STRESS related coping skills.

I should say my "wife of a Principal perspective" is blended. Obviously I want to support my child and get the best education for them. And I want to support my husband and "tow the line" for the school. Can you say Dilemma? His perspective, while highly trained, and understanding of the "system" and often right, doesn't mean I agree. and so this blog post on my perspective and our home balancing act.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

Here's some facts about ISAT from the CAN TV special presented by Friends of Goethe Elementary called "Is it time to ICE the ISAT."

This is not an endorsement / nor an opposition. Instead I like reading and seeing the issues from all sides. And this is one that is well versed: 

Fact: ISAT data is not used actively in teacher meeting. It's all quantitative. You shouldn't have to count and divide and get percentages to measure projects.

Fact: alternatives AUTHENTIC assessments work: project based, portfolio based, group projects, countless measures exist. These assessments aren't data based but they are real and credible.

Fact: prepping for the test squeezes time out of our school day. Remember the extra hour we fought for to add to our shook day... It's being wasted on ISAT prep.

Fact: teachers are in classrooms 7 hours+ a day with our kids. They know instinctively who "gets it" and who doesn't. We do need to rely on teachers, they are NOT the bad guys.

Fact: ISAT testing doesn't support modern teaching like differentiated instruction. A fill in scanted bubble test DOESN'T support differentiated instruction.  If a student John Doe isn't a good writer, or struggles in reading, ISAT DOES NOT measure his grade level knowledge. Period. 

WHY should parents care? If the above bullet point FACTS and information about the ISAT testing issue IS NOT enough, consider the impact on your child/ren(s) learning and what they LOSE during test prep. 

I think often as parents we "don't know" what we "don't know" (taken from the SWOT analysis) aspects of education system. And that's OKAY, your job isn't to be the expert. But you do need to know the minimum on what's expected: 

1. talk to you Child and 

2. Teachers. You can make a tremendous positive impact to help your child/ren.

This May or May not be you as a Parent: 

My favorite position in all this chatter is most of us, the parent who feels neutral. The no-action parent. The majority of parents aren't "opting out" of the test. The majority are simply going with the flow following the path as dictated by schools. I ask you, the neutral parent to consider your child' classroom. As a parent, I simply like to see what is and isn't happening as they learn. If my child is getting great classroom methods then I will be less stressed about testing.

What is your child/ren LOSING in their education (and sanity) when instead if school work they are working on ISAT test prep?  

• Children aren't working in small groups
• Children aren't working on projects
• Children aren't learning new material
• Children ARE being exposed to anxious teachers
• Children ARE being exposed to teachers pushing them to do well on a bubble test.
• Children should have teachers pushing them to do well on {INSERT ACTIVITY} instead of the mundane and outdated ISST test.
• Children ARE feeling the anxiety if a test that simply ranks them. And this is the man reason I am taking action... With my kids.
• Again remember that extra hour in the school day we all advocated for/against, ya it's being used for ISAT prep.
• The ISAT issue is a beautiful problem, it addresses the problem of bubble test assessments, non-differentiated, non-stimulating, no data benefit assessments.  

Testing issues instead help us opens the conversation about what we SHOULD be doing in the classroom. Read here about Finlands no-assessment high-achieving-students educational system.

and additional scholarly articles on Finland's ed system.

This isn't the individual schools fault, the principals, or the parents on either side. It's an issue in education - how do we measure performance... and so the debate continues.

My (not usually) Anxious Son

So back to how this all started. In NOVEMBER my 3rd grade older son came home telling me "mom, I March we are taking the ISAT test. It's a very important test!" I didn't say much, or ask yet, "what does that mean son" and let it go. Nearly every month his teacher (who in my opinion is not at fault here) would give this same schpeal to the class. Over winter break something triggered him and for 3 days, instead of enjoying time away from school he was already feeling anxious about the test.

My Third Grader started worrying:

"What happens if I don't do well?"

"Will I get a bad grade?"

"Will I stay in the 3rd grade?"

I calmly reassured him, "Nothing will happen." And really nothing would happen. My replies:
"I'm sure you will do well."
"Why are you thinking you'll do badly."
"You get good grades and work hard on your tests and projects. Why would you do worse on the ISAT?"

He said "because it's [the ISAT] more important!" 

What? Now I'm frustrated! The ISAT IS NOT more important then your day-to-day work!! I explained this to him and in an uber calm tone of voice.

Granted this is anecdotal, but my Facebook and Twitter Feed is blowing up with friends and acquaintances from my professional life, consulting career, clients (and yes high school friends) from all races, income levels, and genders, who's kids are having anxiety about this test. This anxiety unites us. This frustration in our kids unites us NEUTRAL parents. 

The pressure Administrators and Teachers feel is bleeding all over our kids. Not in every school but in our last school it did. As adults in the school system they should KEEP QUIET about the "All important" test. Children DO NOT understand the "importance of it." It is Not a measure of children's performance. It is NOT a measure of the children. It is a measure of the Teachers and Administrators success in teaching what has been expected. Thus my frustration. My kid shouldn't be the one to fret or feel pressure. If he IS learning it will be so reflected.

What can Parents DO about the ISATs?

My older sons anxiety about ISAT is completely school driven! So I need to counter balance that anxiety with calm. I am not an overly calm person, so I work INTENTIONALLY to help ease his concerns.

My talking points with my son are below. But in this category - parents can do even more.

STEP ONE: Just one clickSimply sign the petition to end the ISATS - please click here to electronically sign the Scrap the ISAT in Illinois petition at Change.org and the petition is one the RIGH HAND SIDE of the screen. It IS EASY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!

STEP TWO:
I tell my ISAT Anxious son:

• I expect you to do your best on the ISAT.
• I expect you to make mistakes on the ISAT just like we make mistakes in life everyday. (See my philosophy, which educational studies support drive, mistakes ARE how kids learn too).
• Just like with all tests you must get a good night sleep and eat a big breakfast.
• UNLIKE with all tests - this one you can't study for. For this test just do your best.
• The ISAT IS NOT the most important thing in our life. We DO NOT prepare only for the ISAT. You sill have spelling homework, math home links, grammar and reading logs and book reports to complete. Not to mention your responsibilities at home and play time. We will First, work on our homework. Second, study for non-ISAT tests and spelling words. Then, if we have time we will review your ISAT practice sheets. (Since the intention of the ISAT is a measurement of what kids should "know," and my son is overall performing at an A / B grade level, we will focus on our work. That should suffice and I am following the intention of the test. As an aside, we believe in play based learning at home, here is a post on that way of learning in action withy kids and to more information on the subject.)
• If you are struggling with certain concepts, simply "more hard work" isn't enough. We will look at new ways to teach you the concepts you need to learn (work with teacher as needed, but during ISAT). Effort + New Strategies + working Hard.

My job here is to stay level headed about this ISAT test, and help balance my sons life. I don't believe in opting out. Partially because the education system doesn't support it - kids are expected to play quietly in self-directed activities while the rest of the class preps for ISAT.

"Parents should be informed that there will be no alternate instruction 
given during the assessment and that children who are not being assessed 
will be required to engage in a silent, self-guided activity while their 
peers are being tested."

• In addition, in our local neighborhood school we have nearly  ZERO parents opting out. This isn't an issue for my son I have to contend with and be teased by kids because he doesn't participate. Which we will probably not opt out. My son would get the social ramifications, not me.

I take this ISAT anxiety issue - because this is about my son and not the test - and treat is like any other problem we face. I help him cope with it. We talk about it. No he can't simply "blow it off" because in life we can't always run away from the problem. But we can face the problem and talk about options we have to deal with it.

ISATs are taking place next week. Since winter break my sons anxiety level has fallen... Leaps and bounds. He's still anxious, but on a scale of 1 (low) - 10 (high) he said he's about a 2 or 3. That's great with me! Again it's an important test for the school, therefore not HIS priority. He should try to do well, but it's not career ending is he fails. 

Original post February 25, 2014

Make Mistakes. Breath, reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: my kids won't know what this is

Things my children don't know "what is that"

A telephone with a cord,

In the wall we had an ironing board.

A cassette tape with headphones,

Or a record player with round flat albums.

In those toll booths a person sat,

it's where cars paid coins at.

You had to get up to change the channel

An encyclopedia, is that some animal?

Line 10, writing computer code so it would print,

Touching the screen was to remove lint.

Cta was paid with cash,

And only a car had a dash.

If you are reading this post, please post a comment below on what you liked - or didn't  - about this read. Does the topic interest you and you want to know more? Submit a question and I am happy to tackle it.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Dad's Working Late

Dad's working late

Thank you dad for working late, 

So mom and I can have a date.

You will find us fast asleep,

With the books we've read knee deep.

Don't be mad, You must understand,

That you will hav to lend a hand,

And move me back to my own bed,

So you will have a place to lay your head.

The story Behind the Poem

We love reading books at night to our kids. And when my husband first started his Principalship he worked ridiculous long hours. So often, he'd come home and find me cuddled up with he kids, and a stack of books on the bed and floor that we'd read before bed. 

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Laundry

Laundry

Half, quarter, flatten, next.

Half, quarter, flatten, next.

Folding is not somethig I dread,

It's just always on my head.

I can't seem to getaway,

To watch tv or just to play.

Please someone invent a machine,

that will do more then wash 'um clean,

I'd prefer it dry AND fold,

I wouldn't have to do another load!

Half, quarter, flatten, next.

Half, quarter, flatten, next.

I can't wait for that magic machine to do the rest!

The Story Behind the Poem:

We always have piles of laundry to do. We are a family of 5! I wash at least 1-2 loads every day, needless to say: there's always a basket of clothes waiting to be folded. 

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Husband

Husband

Sometimes you ask me to clean,

Some times you act like Steve McQueen.

But when I put a negleze on,

You can move over Don Juan.

Romantic, sweet, your my man,

Yes, I'd marry you all over again.

Even Sleeping with your socks on,

Not so much, let's move on.

Don Draper you are not, 

Good thing cause you'd have to be shot!

You work all day, with kids no less,

In a system that puts us all to the test.

In the door, a kiss for me,

Legs on the couch, daddy read to me...

The tv's off without a 2nd look, 

and your deep into the pages of a book.

Dinners simmering, "what's to eat?"

I know your tired, just beat.

But in that simple hour or two, 

it's just who you are and what you do.

Spending some time with us,

And noticing messes but without any fuss.

At the table we take our place

And discuss the day in our homemade space.

We appreciate the work that helped us make,

This house a home, with an oven to bake.

Your sense of humor keeps things fun,

Let's see if Leno or Dave is on?

Living on one salary is a chore,

But creative thinking means it isn't a bore.

My fruggleness makes the ends meet,

Often with a steak as a treat!

When the weekend comes it's Time together,

No matter what the weather,

It's the only thing we need to do,

Family starts with me and you.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Absent or Called in Sick Today

Absent.  

May, 2011

Older Son

You are "feeling well" today, 

and at home you wanted to stay.

So I called you in sick to school,

Dad would've said: "staying home wasn't cool!"

But as a teenager you won't want to spend,

A moment with me or make amends.

So today what would you to like to do?

Go to a museum or maybe the zoo?

I'll pack a snack, it'll be such fun,

And then we'll take a walk in the sun.

Your only 5 for a limited time,

And I want every minute to be sublime.

So when your 14 I'll leave you alone,

And in my heart I'll have known,

That we spent a day at play,

when I called you in sick to school today!

The Story Behind the Poem:

When it was just my older son and I at home - we went out on outings nearly everyday of the week. Once to a museum, one day to the library story time hour, one day to fetch groceries, and everyday to the park! I loved being out with him. Even after my young son was born, by 6 months we were back going on our outings, the 3 of us. 

So when school started... I MISSED my son soooooo much! Preschools 3-hour schedule was manageable, but after mid year when we transitioned from half-day kindergarten to full day, that was tough. Then it happened. My older son missed ME!! He wanted to stay home and do things "like we used to." OKAY!!! I (happily) called my older son in sick, to Kindergarten. I know, we parents, embedded in the education system lied! My son simply wanted to be home with me that day... And how I treasured it too. 

We did end up going to the zoo, seeing his favorite animals. So the day was educational still, but mostly because I was with him, again, out exploring like we used to... It was totally worth it! 

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Your Role or Finding Us

Finding Us, May 2012

I wish you loved me the way that I love you,

I remember when our love was something true.

You would hold my heart softly in the palm of your hand,

From cloud 9 I would drift down in your space to land.
 

After the courting, the wedding, and a home we'd make,

Remembering how we cut the cake.
Children, laundry, chores galore,

Wondering why we work so hard when there is always more.

So when life started, cloud 9 drifted,

When would we no longer be rifted.

You work longer hours, I'm asleep once you get home,

I feel empty, drained, and alone.
 

Driven apart by pain and sorrow,

Wondering if we would be there tomorrow?

And now, years later, here we stand,

But this time your holding my hand.
 

Because you cannot hold my heart,

That is not your part.

Without my heart I would die,

Instead you should simply stand by.

Hold me up if I should fall, 

Be there to answer when I call,

Allow me to scream, tremble, and quake,

Be there for me when I wake.

I cannot give you a part of me and remain whole,

Instead stand by me, that is simply your role.


by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Indian Summer

Indian Summer, March 2012

Sand and pebbles under my feet, 

Walking towards shore the lake sounds sweet.

This Indian summer is hot and such a treat,

But the lake breeze is calm and neat.
 

Yesterday was below 60 degrees,

We ate tomatoe soup and grilled cheese.

My teeth shivered and my quaking knees, 

Can you hand me the sweatshirt please!
 

But today - again - the sun is hot,

Again we need to find our towel a spot.

But this time my stomachs in a knot,

Knowing it's ending, whether I like it or not.
 

Indian summer you are my last sip,

Of summer fun and a weekend trip.

Tommorrow will be raining and a cool breeze,

I'm sure I will catch a sneeze.

In the lake we can go for a dip,

And a final kiss on my skin from the suns lips.
I walk down the shore with such ease,

This beach makes my kids so easy to please.
 

I'll have to close my windows again

Because the seasons come to an end.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

 

Poem: A Mom's Dilemma or Mom's Date

A Mom's Dilemma, 2011

Sometimes I have a decision to make,

And I need to think through what I need to bake.

Spend $10 while I'm here at the store,

Or wait 'til next weeks sale and buy more.
 

Waiting is clearly the better way,

But I'm here, now, and there's no line to pay.

But next week I can add frozen peas and deli ham,

So considering how hungry I am...
 

I'll go home instead and have some coffee and I'll just wait,

For the sale paper and our little date.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author

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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: North Face Moms

North Face Moms, 2011

There they are standing around,

Looking at me, up and down.

I wave hello and walk on by,

I don't get caught up in the high and dry.

"Who said this?" and "she said that!"

Sometimes I feel like and entry mat.

I'm just there so you can wipe your thoughts on me,

Instead I wish you'd leave me be.

I'm just not that kind of women,

I'd prefer to discuss my new recipe using cumin,

Or something funny my son said,

And amaze at the depth of ideas in his head.

It's awkward for me not being like them,

Ironically I don't wanna stand around and cackle with the hens.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Behind the Poem:

The title of this poem was inspired by a neighborhood mom. At the time my older son was attending catholic school. As you know we changed his school early on in the year do to his schools "Red Shirting" issue. At the time I saw the neighborhood moms, who's kids attend our neighborhood school, on the block chatting over the warmer months. One day we were discussing school issues and she mentioned the "North Face Moms." To her some "up & up" moms who give off a certain appearance of being better? Perhaps Wealthier? Well the label stuck in my mind. Does being more educated, and having a little cash to buy nice things make us automatically "up & up" or uppity? The poem summarizes my take and my position in all this.

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Like Betty Draper

Like Betty Draper

Feel like a new woman when I get a haircut

Snip, snip, cut, cut, I could feel it in my gut.

I to get pampered and have this time.

My paws needed a mani, and pedi

I need to look more like Betty.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Bath Time or How Much Did we Eat for Lunch?

Bath Time, 2011

It's the end of the day,

it's time to unwind.

Under our clothes,

What will we find.
 

Some leaves, and a rock,

A new bruise, and your sock.

In the bath we go,

My precious cargo.

Playing with their toys,

Making scuba diving noise.
 

The alphabet letters stick to the wall,

Hoping that they don't fall.

The older is taking a cup,

Hoping to splash his brother with some luck.
 

Okay boys 5 minutes more,

No mom, close the door!

I'm glad they don't want to leave their friend,

But frankly I'm pooped! And I want my my day to end!
 

Little one comes out first,

He laughs with a big burst.

Transfer to dad and the older ones next,

He decides to recite some text.
 

"The dog was barking and running around,

He was biting another dog and fell on the ground."

And then I feel my nights complete,

When You say: "wrap me up Mom" and "say something sweet."

"I love you mom, do you know how much?"

"I'll tell you it's as much as we ate for lunch."

The story behind the poem:

One night after bath time, my older son came out telling me a story about dogs, his favorite topic at the time. And very night after bath time he says "wrap me up mom" so I snuggle with him as I dry him in a towel. I love bath time because even though I'm exhausted, and looking forward to a quiet house. It is a great time to have scheduled "play" with the kids and tub toys. And scheduled "snuggle time as I wrap them up. It gives you that warm and snuggly feeling on the inside.

Original post: 2011

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Phones Aren't Smart, or Obama Box

Phones Aren't "Smart," March 2012

Can't you put that thing away

Your finally home and you need to pay

Special attention to me and the kids

Were not something with a lid.

I turned to say something to you

And there's another bright hue

Shining right in your face,

That used to be my place.
 

I remember when you looked at me like that

Now I might as well be a cat.

I'll just sit here. By myself.

While you talk or write the world

I'll stay on this shelf.
 

Nope it's a text, more important then me,

Maybe it's an email, let me see.

I don't give a shit which it was,

A friend, coworker or the boss,

When you are home it's our time with you

They all had you, now their times thru!
 

I don't open my mouth just to talk,

You can't erase my words like chalk

I have something to say, 

Can you give me the time of day?

That's it, I'm done, I know I'm thru,

Begging to ask to talk to you.

When your in the house, shut it off,

It's time for family now, don't talk tough,

"what if it's an emergency?"

They've all got my number and can call me!

Let me tell you what that smart thing can't do:

Will it greet you with an I LOV u?

Does it make you dinner? Or warm your bed?

Did it bear your children? Does listen to what you said?

And then you asked: "What, what was that you say?"

I'll tell you "Put the fucking thing away!

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author

Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Shortly after Barack Obama took office, I heard a story about the "Obama Box." Before entering the oval office to meet with the President, entrants are REQUIRED to deposit there cell phones in the "Obama Box:" A simple basket that holds your device, so your meeting with the President can go uninterrupted, and it'll be safely waiting for you upon your exit.

Cell phones are left outside the Oval Office during a meeting with President Barack Obama,

It's simple. It's FREAKING BRILLIANT. And guess who has one at home! We DO!
Original Post: March, 2012

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Bathing or My Shower 2012

My Shower May 2012

The one thing I thought of all day

Was my hot shower and that little time away.

I'll hear the water running hit the tub

Then feel the heat and I can rub

All the days stress away

Its my sanctuary where I can stay

It's my only time to myself

To be alone with no one else

Well, that true after I made the rule

The bathroom is private, it's not cool.

To run in for everything YOU need

Honey you don't own the deed,

To my life, or this house

Nor does that little mouse

So I have some news, sorry it's so late

But Whatever you have to say can wait!

by: Me

Not Authorized for Reproduction

Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Poem: Drops of Gold

Drops of Gold

It's in the morning that you get,

My breasts already dripping wet.

What tastes yummy, just divine,

But it just a taste of mommies wine.

It's mommies milk, just for you,

Oh but I have so much to do.

Feeding you takes so much time,

But this year will be over at the drop of a dime.

Cracked nipples, wrong hold,

I don't fit into this mold,

Not gaining weight again,

"Help me feed my baby, Amen."

High palette. Recessed chin, 

Not nursing you feels like a sin.

I do what I can and give you my milk

It's only at night on sheets of silk.

Sleeping together makes me whole

Me, my baby, and these drops of gold.

Baby girl, nursing

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
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Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Homemade No Milk Pancakes Recipe, I promised to make Pancakes and I have no milk!!

I made pancakes last night, with milk recipe, and I added a touch of cinnamon. Well, more then a touch. My younger son sampled them first. His eyes so big starring a the yummy pile on the plate. He took two ties and started coughing. The cinnamon was so strong it gave a sensation of a scratchy cough :-( To make our cravings go away I agreed to make pancakes again tomorrow. Here's how to Homemade No Milk Pancakes Recipe, I promised to make Pancakes and I have no milk!!

Homemade No Milk Pancakes Recipe, I promised to make Pancakes and I have no milk!!, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

So today, which is the day after our cinnamon pancakes, I promised him my regular sweet pancakes....

However I opened the fridge and we are out of milk - thank you internet access!!

Here's a modified version of a Recipie I found. It makes the batter a bit runny, and the pancakes are nice and light. I'd use just under a touch of the 3/4 cup of water.

No milk pancakes

1 cup flour

2 tsp sugar

pinch of salt

2 flat tsp baking powder

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp olive oil

3/4 cup of water

Optional: pats of butter

1/2 cup frozen blueberries (if you have fresh the pancakes will be less moist)

2 tsp sugar

1/2 cup milk chocolate chips

Instructions:

Pre heat the pan on low. Combine the first 4 ingredients. I make a small hill and make a whole in the middle for the eggs. I scramble them and incorporate flour slowly. Then I alternate water and oil as I whisk - add vanilla - keep whisking and alternating. Guaranteed no lumps!

Let the batter rest. Combine in a bowl the blueberries and sugar. I don't add mine to the batter because they tend to sink to the bottom, so I prefer to add my blueberries Into the pancake ought after I've poured them into the pan.

After I run out of blueberries I start making pancakes with the chocolate chips.

Increase the pan heat slightly (between medium and low). Using a 1 cup ladle I make 4 small pancakes in my 11" pan. Add the blueberries, I add 5-6 per pancake, there nice and moist with this amount. Add pat of butter in the center of the pan. Do not press down at any point. 

After 1-2 minutes the pancake will start to brown. Flip the pancake. You'll need slightly longer on this side, the blueberries make the pancake extra moist on this side.

I put a plate on the stovetop (not heated) and stack the pancakes here. They stay warm this way. 

Yummy pancakes saved by water!

Make mistakes Breathe. Google a solution. And Laugh.Out.Loud

Insect Souvenirs that Baby Girl Explores

As you may know we are avid insect collectors. In a period of 2 years we have grown our insect collection to 205 insects, including these beauties - Jamaican wasp, bees, beetle and a hermit crab.

Baby girl loves to observe as we pin the insects. She stands breathless watching the pin go into the body. Then, she often asks to see them in the curing box. She has not been allowed to handle the pins yet, shes only two years old. However I feed her fascination with insects every step of the way. She often finds them before I do, on the sidewalk, in the house, or outdoors on a walk. Kids are extremely observant if we give them the time they deserve to explore.


Insect Souvenirs that Baby Girl Explores, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Converted 12 x 9 foot Playroom into Centers

We have finally remodeled the playroom. I have been inspired to use centers (separate spaces) with in ONE Room for the kids. They often need their own "private" space to play, uninterrupted and not bothered by prying eyes and hands from their brothers and sister.

We've managed to play here a few times and it seems to be working nicely for those moments the kids want some quiet playtime (they love each other, but everyone needs a break from their siblings). 

Converted 12 x 9 foot Playroom into Centers, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Poems: Driveway Moments

Driveway moments.

Driveways are so under utilized,

There's so much potential for there size.

Running up and down in the morn

Riding bikes back n forth til dawn

You can park your car at the top,

But then that blocks our favorite play spot

If you park it at the bottom,

It's a chance to race our matchbox

We can sit in our chairs,

Relax and chat.

For now We have no cares,

It's us and our neighbors cat.

It's grill time,

The garage doors open

The meat is fine,

For a cold beer I'm hope'n in.

Monday seems ages away,

Spending time with the family is for today,

Gather some folks for a game to play,

This weekly ritual is here to stay.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud

Creativity in Kids: Inspiration is Everywhere, If Parents Let Them Lead

My young son was inspired today... on his own. My mom job was to help him get the necessary parts. The cup he's holding in a musical instrument. His "guitar drum." He's been telling me all week his classmate Sean is having a "musicians theme birthday party" and "I just have to pick what instrument I want to have mom."

Creativity in Kids: Inspiration is Everywhere, If Parents Let Them Lead, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I didn't receive any invitation to said party. However it's a frequent topic at home lately. So today we were watching Curious George on PBS and it's was an episode where a colleague of the man in the yellow hat made an instrument. Then the commercial break showed kids making their own instruments from bowls, pots, cups, and the almighty multi purpose rubberband!

Here's my sons guitar drum. Wearing his ninja headband, because at nap time we read Magic Treehouse Night with the Ninjas.

To learn more visit my blog at areyousureaboutthatblog.blogspot.com

Gardening Necessity: A Winter Spent Collecting Egg shells and BIG HUGE Tomatoes as my Reward

Gardening Necessity: A Winter Spent Collecting Egg shells and BIG HUGE Tomatoes, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I am an avid city gardener. We are on a slightly oversized Chicago lot. With plenty of room for a veggie garden, flower beds, compost pile, dog poop compost, and a kids play area on wood chips.

Over the winter months I still compost, throwing our scraps outdoors. However my egg shells are broken into smaller pieces and kept in a container until their ready to be used in my tomato garden. This year I'll also be adding fish heads (or shrimp peelings), yes really. Supposedly the nutrition provided to the plant from compost, eggs shells as fish scraps is tremendous.

More to come!

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder

We are enjoying spending time with our cousin for a few days who is a new big sister to twins! While playing in the toy room (soon to be retitled play room) she noticed our soda bottle bird feeder outside hanging in the lilac tree. We planted this tree when we moved in, as a transplant from our first home. Its here so the kids can enjoy watching their bird friends come to visit, and eat.

Its a very snowy day in the big city - we had a new 4 inches of snow fall over 48 hours when this storm passed. In the top right you can see the finished bird feeder circles - made from Pipe cleaners and circle cereal (we used a generic whole oats brand). It was COVERED in snow the next morning. However its been several days since, and the city has warmed up - and our bird friends gobbled these treats up!

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

We used pipe cleaners and cereal circles to make bird feeders. Our cousin inspire everyone by making patterns. She chose brown, color, brown, color.

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I had to hold baby girls pipe cleaner, but she practiced her fine motor skills as she looped the cereal on.

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

The girls put the feeders on as bracelets instead of "just" carrying them to the play room. We hung our feeders on the lilac tree near our window so we can easily see the birds enjoy their treats when we sit and play.

Easy Kid Project: Bird Feeder, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

We will be sure to shake the snow off for the birds easier access as the storm passes.

Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. And Laugh.Out.Loud!

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids mentally ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to Kids" About your Upcoming Vacation.

In preparing for our family vacation to attend a dear friends wedding in Jamaica, I wanted to prep our kids for what to expect.  Pinterest has oodles of pins on what to pack in your kids carry-on. But what about the emotional and mental preparation?  As an avid traveler for my WHOLE LIFE, both by road and airplane, I knew there was as much mental preparation as physical packing that's required. I wanted some discussion ideas for setting our kids travel expectations. I wanted some games and activities to help our kids prepare for the Long Distance travel. This was a new experience for my kids, and we know that talking about it helps tremendously set their expectations and too keep my sanity.

I couldn't find many resources, so here's our Beyond Backpacks, packing our emotional toolbox for vacation.

2 Adults 3 Kids = 1 checked medium luggage, 1 checked carry on luggage, 3 backpacks, 1 roller carry on, 1 purse

I was reviewing Pinterest for some quick links to mom bloggers and magazine articles on what to prepare  when traveling with kids. Our actual luggage and carry on items lists are below, eventhough this isn't what I was looking for.

We are taking our three kids with us on a fabulous Caribbean island getaway for a lifelong friends wedding. We have taken the kids dozens of times to nearby states, within a 3-4 hour drive to Wisconsin and Indiana. And once I traveled alone with my best friend on a 12-hour train ride to Minnesota with our then four kids: 4 year and 18 month old boys and girls!! However, we had yet to take them anywhere by airplane. I'm a traveler since childhood with extensive experience and stories. I've been to 45 of the 50 United States and 8 countries. My husband and I visited 4 countries and 8 states prior to having kids -- (for prosperity ...details). 

I know how to live out of a carry-on for 15 days as we did in Japan. And countless weekend getaways taught me less is much much more. Packing our clothes was not my concern (however I do include our Island Caribbean packing list below).   I was more interested in the anticipation and "mental" preparation for the kids. Of course I did come across the fab tips and tricks savvy Mom's had that I loved:

- pack gum for the flight for popping ears

- pack an entire bag of lollipops - for there and back trips for toddlers popping ears (and when you just need silence, like the wedding ceremony!)

However I didn't find anything beyond packing the kids backpack carry-on. So here's my version of preparing kids for long travel.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

I still packed too much!!


Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Upon entering the airplane, my two year old baby girl was invited into the cockpit. She did NOT have to be encouraged. To my amazement she went straight to the steering wheel and wanted to push All Of The Buttons. Then the captain came and we had to scoot. And smile at the long line waiting for us to get into the cabin (oops).


Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Timing:

By Christmas the kids knew our trip to Jamaica was in January. Yes, we told them a whole 2 months early! We ended up "reviewed the timeline" very often. Remember we are building our kids emotional tool box, setting expectations, so don't be annoyed when your kids ask ten times about an upcoming event. Put a framework around their questions to help keep their excitement calm and your parenting sanity.

My youngest would ask "Mom when is my birthday?" And I'd reply (with large concepts he could understand) "first is our Winter break starts, then Christmas, then New Years, and then  we go back to school for 14 days. After that we are in Jamaica where we will celebrate your birthday." He'd say: "Yes!!"  I know it's a lengthy reply, but it was an extensive amount of time to let pass. He would get antcy if we didn't put a framework around his expectations. By New Years Eve he was checking off the list for me, "Mommy, New Years is over, next is School and then we will go to Jamaica for my birthday celebration!" Isn't that better then a kid crying about when is he having his birthday?

Next - Dealing with the Intangible: Time

1. A Countdown paper chain. Similarly to when we traveled to Japan, upon returning to school we made an easy - and not fancy - countdown chain or Jamaica. As the time draws near kids need help managing there anticipation.  Counting days, everyday helps a lot.

2. Tell Me Why / When?  Just like kids love hearing their favorite story over and over, or their favorite song EVERYTIME your in the car, they also want to hear about the trip your taking. It will be the same questions like: where are we going? When are we going? Why is it hot there? After you answer the questions enough times you can flip the script on them. When the kids ask you a question you can simply ask the question back and say "Tell me why?" Or "Tell me when we are leaving?" Once you have answered the question, you helping kids apply what they heard you say, helping memory skills, and eventually layering ideas which helps with complex thoughts and future problem solving skills. 

3. Preparing Kids & Anticipating the Trip - as the vacation became weeks away we would start to ask the kids questions:

- what will Jamaica look like?

- what will we do there?

- what will we eat?

- do you think the people are nice? What do they look like? 

- what will our room look like (sleeping arrangements: my older son doesn't like bunking with his brother, so we had to break the news that they were sharif a sleeper. As an aside, to help with this bunking together, we recently agreed to let older son have his own room, so if younger son is regularly sleeping in a room with his sister - bunking on trips will be less of an issue.)

Obviously our few questions lead to more questions from the kids, and great family discussions. An obviously that's the point, conversation. It's healthy to discuss what's coming up next: (and not just for those future problem solving skills) children's coping skills for all the big changes, kids can anticipate patience, and being bored on a 3-hour flight. 

These conversations were great times to talk about: appropriate behaviors, and when not to talk, like through customs. Kids don't yet grasp finite details like the difference between foods you need to declare and say gum, or hard candy. I didn't want my son correcting me when I say no food (I could already see him politely chiming in - because normally I allow it - "don't forget the candy and bread mom." I'd reply, "no honey we already are it on the plane," and said customs official directs us to the table for a search.... More time wasted). So to completely avoid this we told our older and younger sons "there will be times that only mom or dad talks to the adults at the airport!!" This simplifies matters quickly.

5. Packing Matters

Some surprises are nice too - so don't tell them everything you are packing. Or maybe pack an extra new toy (ours was a Lego chima pack for $4).

-- The kids each had a snack bag, but didn't know about other snacks I packed.

-- Some things we left out. Like talking about a possible in flight movie (in case it was something the kids wouldn't like). 

-- I did pack a surprise small Lego chima pack to assemble for the flight cause when they got super bored I had a surprise planned.

This PACKING LISTS fits IN:

- 2 medium size luggage (I actually took one medium and one carry on checked, however it's good to leave "room to grow" so your not carrying souvenirs in a plastic bag that you have to carry).

Total carry-ons 4: Dad, Mom & Baby shared, Older son and Younger son.

Plus moms purse.

Our kids carry on packing list:

I've always packed my luggage as if "I'll never see it again or it'll be delayed getting to me." So we always pack a bathing suit and a change of clothes in our carry-on. In this case my husband took he kids changes of clothes because he personally had NO carry on needs.

Each kid picks their carry on back pack. I overrode younger son and AFTER his back pack was packed, and heavy, I insisted he take the roller pack (backpack on wheels). I had my own stuff to schlep and I wasn't gonna take his cause mom it's too heavy. When younger so protested I made him wear it around the house all morning... At the end of the first hour he agreed - "it's too heavy mom!!"

6. Each child was asked to pack one (their choice):

- snack bag (we picked up non-sticky food packs at target. Yes, I bought mini snack-size packs instead of making my own... Sanity!)

- small soft stuffed animal / toy

- small pillow (they can lean on this in the plane / back support / snuggles, etc.

- small favorite book

- a small journal (we encouraged drawings pictures or writing about the trip everyday. Especially when the kids were antsy waiting for lunch on "island time" we'd take a toy Or journal with us for stuff to do)

- small (not tiny, always leave room for more stuff or consolidating later) sandwich zip lock baggie for crayons, a pencil, and sharpener if needed

- gallon Baggie 1/4 full if small hard toys (my Lil' ones like playing with army guys, animal figurines and matchbox cars)

Then child specific:

- younger son get a sandwich bag 1/4 full of his beloved Legos. Which HE picked the pieces.

- younger son favorite dot to dot coloring book

- younger son Pokemon cards

- brain quest age: 4-5 

- older son took a second book (Diary of a Whimpy Kid for him to re-read, again)

- older son dinner game questions and his animal cards - we play "bigger stronger" all the time since age 3, and evolved to better predator by age 5

- baby girl gets those over 600 sticker books. We put a sticker on her hand and she sticks it - mostly crooked - to the page... Hours of fun! Her and Younger son

- change if clothes

- diaper needs in baggies - so I don't carry things loosely in my hand on the plane - I'll need to grab her or a seat in turbulence and I don't want my diaper, wipes, and butt paste to I flying

- extra lollipops

- scooby doo memory game, we just look trough the cards in the bag and match them

I also took for me a book, my jewelry, make up bag and my one outfit and bathing suit. I also fit a change of sandals. My carry on is slightly larger then a backpack so I took 3 more pieces of my nice clothes. 

7. For 3 Kids: our Island Caribbean luggage packing list:

Kids helped pick their outfits- try need to learn how to mix and match clothes and patterns. These packing times are ideal to learn these valuable skills!!

We planned to live on the beach. And we decided to get "dressed fancy" for dinner each day (the kids LOVED this idea). We packed accordingly.

- 3 bathing suits each (1-packed in carry on)

- we lived in our bathing suits so only 4 pair if underwear. We can always wash them in the sink if needed.

- 3 pairs if shorts (nice, no holes or rips) (1-packed in carry on)

- 3 best tshirts + 2 extra (we use them as pj's, beach cover ups I'm strong sun, and a quick change before lunch from one Tshirt to the next). (1-packed in carry on and one used for layering on our airplane outfits).

- 1 pair of crocs (worn to airport with socks)

- beach non slip shoes (we are a barefoot no socks family in the heat!)

- Accessories - 1 belt each and suspenders (boys can share for variety)

- 1 "fancy" wedding shirt (we choose a linen button down for younger son and a yellow collared polo for older son. 

Baby girl had 1 pair of shorts and 2 dresses replace the other 2 pairs instead. 

For kids I also packed liquid Motrin and pepto Bismal for a just in case emergency (I don't like relying / waiting on hotels and others when I neeWe had a d stuff / first aid for my kids - so I did over prepare here). We also had a few band aids, my personal tweezers, a small neosporin tube for cuts, small hydrocortisone tube for itches or big bites and An ear thermometer.

Each child wore long pants for departure, then layered in a Tshirt, lightweight long sleeve (great for possible sunburn cover up too) and a polo shirt for boys on the very top. Baby girl had a floral shirt instead of a polo. Then each child had a hoodie sweatshirt. Before landing I changed each child into shorts and simply removed there layers (during flight for comfort) and ultimately down to their tshirts for landing. There was room in each of their carry-ons for their clothes or in dad's carry-on.

I am blogging this for many reasons. I of course will return to this post for my electronic checklist. WE HAD A SUCCESSFUL TRIP... so I am going to use this advice for myself again.

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect. And don't forget to Laugh.Out.Loud.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. My Young Son and the Camera, It's Not Just Taking Pictures, It's Complex Preparation for Life.

My younger son did get crazy bored when we were nearing approach for landing ... so I let him enjoy time with my smart phone camera. He took pictures, set them in the frame, and really took his time to snap EXACTLY what HE wanted in the picture.

Kids are constantly learning. I know he won't become an expert photograpaher just because he is using my camera here but he will learn something. Or it's the start of him learning something. I can remember the moments my dad took a moment to let me look thru the lens and snap a pic. Those moments were few and far between. I hope to give my kids waaaayyyyyy more of those moments.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Again, the kids are learning about photography. They have NO IDEA what happens when you push the pic button.... Here he is learning about what's in the frame, lighting, etc. experimenting is how kids learn. I knew in this moment, it wasn't about a quality photo, it WAS about my son learning for himself - what will happen and how his pic will look.

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Then we went thru and deleted the ones he wasn't pleased with. I can only say this was a sanity saver for mom, but also he learned about cameras, the importance of staging and setting up your photographs, the frame (what gets "cut out"), lighting, and then, reviewing pictures to see how the photographs turned out (because as we all know they don't always turn out...). We talked a little bit about why certain pictures were too dark, or had parts "cut out."

Traveling with Kids, Beyond Packing Backpacks. Getting Kids "mentally" ready for long trips is just as important. "How to Talk to kids" about your upcoming vacation., a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

Taking GOOD pictures IS NOT a simple thing. Yes you can point and shoot. Which I often do. But I want my kids to understand what "process" means. SO when they do pursue hobbies, crafts, and projects throughout their lives, THESE MOMENTS - a simple photograph on an airplane awaiting landing - helps build the skills they need to be successful. Look at all the factors described involved in taking a photograph... those are all steps in a process. That's A LOT for a kid to understand and grasp. Yet, broken down in to small "teaching moment" chunks, its very doable. For mom and son.

Make Mistakes. Breathe. Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud!

Crib Converts to a Junior Loft Bunk Bed for Younger Son

Younger Son wanted a bunk bed for his birthday. And then Older son wanted one too. We started talking more and more about his birthday and we decided we would celebrate on our trip to Jamaica (which you can read about our Packing Guide for Travel with Kids on that trip here).  We tabled the bed discussion so I could start my mommy homework. A low cost bunk bed option. I never want to spend a lot of money. And, soon, I'll start posting all the furniture - PERFECTLY GOOD FURNITURE - that people put in there alleys around Chicagoland. I have a few pieces in my home, sshhh, don't tell husband.

I first looked online at retail ideas. So I could see what's trendy, price ranges, and get inspired. After reviewing simple loft beds, I felt guilty spending even one penny let alone $200 when we have great perfectly good beds at home. My older son has a beautiful hand me down wood frame, younger son has his fire engine bed, found in said alley, and baby girl has her crib (a family hand me down from when my Older son was born).


This is the original crib assembled as a crib. The photo is from when my young son was a baby and the mattress support was attached high on the support beams. 

I didn't include traditional wood option bunk beds because those were waaayyyyy out of my budget. I did save birthday money for some time and had about $500. . . however, we have perfectly good beds at home. Also the wood options are bulky chunky and take up way too much room. I also wanted to take advantage of the high 9 foot ceilings we have in the bedrooms.

Then I hit Pinterest for more ideas. And then Amazon, and then Ikea. I did find some nice simple steel framed Bunk and Junior Bunk Beds for $100 each. Again, the rather specific mom that I am, some would say very Type A, I would want new mattresses (latex of course) and now we are paying $500 PER mattress on sale at my wholesale find price.

UGH! I realized this is not the right decision to buy BRAND NEW BEDS when we had perfectly good furniture at home. What a HYPOCRITE I am trying to be cost conscious, environmentally aware, recycling, blah, blah, blah and here I am shopping.

I did find a few ideas on Pinterest, dresser conversion to changing tables, parents who built frames for bunk beds they wanted. Even craigslist had some great gently used versions. But - still NO - spending too much.

Then it was bedtime one night, mundane usually. I was changing baby girls diaper and my older son was hiding in the "dungeon" under her crib. I was already starting the consider the time I'll need to convert her crib into a toddler bed. This was a selling option of the crib a few years ago. And it hit me - as I thought through the toddler bed conversion instructions - to "reverse engineer / assemble the crib."


Crib Converts to a Junior Loft Bunk Bed for Younger Son, a photo by areyousureaboutthatblog on Flickr.

How I Set Up My Junior Bunk Loft Bed from a Crib:
(basically I assembled the crib upside down)

- I could simply flip the crib upside down,  
- reverse the bed base upside down
- install the crib rail upside down

This would basically reverse assemble the crib upside down, elevated off the ground to a "Junior Bunk Bed Size."

Looks like a young boy sleeping in his crib. It's actually our Younger 5 year old son sleeping in his new (to him) converted crib to bunk bed. Super sturdy and safe!

So Now all we need is a ladder. See this post on how I made our Junior Bunk Loft Bed ladder for under $8.

NEW UPDATE :: YOUTUBE CHANNEL INFO ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT BLOG

Our family has had many adventures through the years. Mom, the @Minstr0Interior had an a-ha moment . . .  Suddenly I See what we will have filled our life with, ADVENTURES! We travel, craft, sing, dance, collect insects and spend loads of time together. Sometimes too much time together. Our kids have recently begun to document their own adventures, and so this channel was born. Enjoy our adventures. Or not. WANT MORE? If there is a blog post accompanying this video we will share it here. Sometimes we will include the ingredients list of the craft or recipe, or the itinerary of our trip. In the meantime click play. 

From our family: 👍 + 🙃 + ❤️ ( Thumbs up, emoji face, hearts! )

See It Live >>> 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2mGpujQIVgxdfTImFnQuLA

Originally Published on February 1, 2014

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud