As I watched the last episode of Season 3 Downton Abby last night I started to think, after all these years what's become of our status in society? Who would I have been in the Downton Abbey era? As its incinuated in the show that The Era of the Abbeys won't last much longer. Technology and "modern ways" were taking over, and generations of aristocratic rule were falling by the wayside. So what becomes of the people in the "new times?" Are we living as the upstairs family would have or continuing in life as the service staff would?
 |
| Downton Abbey, the Family leads and Service follows |
So I started to reflect on my own life. Interestingly enough I'm a daughter of real European aristocrat, my father and my mom who is from a small village. Granted my parents met here in the United States, and most likely would not have met in their native homeland of Poland. As I was growing up my mother always made it a point that I knew my manners, as did my father. It seemed though that my father pushed away from the family rituals and behavior, and he was not close with his family. But my mother embraced all of the etiquette, formality and properness of it all. Even tho she grew up in a village, her Grandmother was a seamstress, and we think that her Grandmother passed down the importance of dressing well and "for the occasion." Education was important in the home as was "doing well" and "being successful" in whatever you do. She was a woman who understood the quality of fine materials. So ingrained in my mom was dressing well, appropriate for the occasion, and so on,...so she wasnt presented as a "peasent" when she met my dad - and here in the U.S. they were no longer "worlds apart."
 |
| Downton Abbey, the Upstairs Family leisurely enjoying news by the fire. |
As you can tell from reading this blog, I feel that manners and etiquette are very important. I'm constantly calling for my boys as "gentlemen, come here," but sometimes I do call for them in Polish slang term for "boys" similarly to the village people. So I guess I show I am a blend of both worlds.
 |
| Downton Abbey - downstairs, servant dinner time |
Watching Downton Abby has given me so much insight into my father's world. What his parents had to lose after World War II, and what he had to relearn how to live in simplicity when he came to this country. (Instead of following his degree as a physicist, he chose to repair cameras his whole life making less than $25,000 a year. Clearly not the lifestyle he grew up with.) But one thing my father definitely maintained, was the joy and fun in his humor and wit. I would say he's an extremely witty man never answering the question directly, similarly as the Lady Dowager does, always side barring and having just the right answer, just the right way of handling things, when he wasn't being mean to someone of course.
 |
| Downton Abbey - Lady Dowager "Vulgarity is no substitute for Wit!" |
So now that I have a better understanding of where aristocratic father came from, what does that tell about me? Which side did I end up on? As a mom I'm certainly doing the work of the service people. Laundry, dishes, cooking all our meals, dirty diapers, being a "wet mother" since we're still nursing baby girl, ha ha. And I spend more than one hour every day with my children, unlike the Dowager. This would definitely be the life of service. Thank God for technology, at least I have a dishwasher to be my first assistant / Daisy in the kitchen.
On the other hand my Husband and I have a higher education through to university, we've really taken a lot of love to have a beautiful home, with a wonderful landscape. We take daily walks, love books in our library at home, and have elegant fancy dinners with our family and friends often.
So am I a woman of the upper-class, who has learned how to do menial tasks, and take care of young children? Or am I a woman of service was increased her status to own a home, yet still do menial tasks and take care of children?
I guess it's easier to leave this question unanswered? It can sound extremely arrogant to say because I have an education it gives me an upper hand on those that don't? I don't think I fall in the middle either? If there is a middle? Does an education still raise us up in class? Improve handling life's issues?
But that's not to say that the head housemaid Mrs. Hughes or the head Butler Carson would not handled things wonderfully and they were in service and didn't have a higher education.
The only other thing that I have that is clearly reminiscent of the aristocratic society, is my wit. I often don't answer questions directly and instead will have some very cunning and smart remark that will neither offensed the person but it will sort of "put them in their place."
Where does this leave us? I have to say I really don't know. I didn't dabble in the finances aspect because obviously I don't want to talk about my financial situation on the Internet. But that definitely is a factor to consider if you live "check to check" or if you have something to "fall back on," that'll tell you a little bit about where we've gotten to land socially.
It's two days after writing this post: I'm in the kitchen grabbing our snacks for our outing - my eldest comes in, he's thirsty. The four year old needs me to wipe his booty, and baby girl just picked up yet another Lego for her snack / teething aid!! Can't we just leave? No, the chauffer (that's me too) needs to fetch her keys.
My conclusion: while at heart I am definitely an aristocrat and a well rounded, educated, and well dressed social lady, I'm definitely a downstairs maid / nanny who's been promoted to homeowner and mom. Thus I call myself the "Family Manager." A little education, a little free time, and lots and lots of chores!!
Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud
