More Questions About IT and How We Keep the Conversation Going

Earlier this year I wrote about how I'd have to bite the bullet and answer my older sons questions about sex. Since then we'be had several questions about sex, but his 9 year old questions aren't what you think they'd be.

My first post on this subject was:

Talking About "IT" with My Kids, Addressing Delicate Subjects Naturally with Kids

He asks me at least once a week: "Mom, can you come to my room (after you put the babies to bed) so we can "talk?" After I put the little ones to bed, I go to his room, seemingly more frequently lately. His questions haven't been about sex acts, except kissing. His questions have been about thoughts, feelings, and other 9 year old curiosity: 

How does kissing feel?

How does sex feel?

Why do people have kids?

Why do we say girls look sexy?

As for the "how does it feel?" Questions, I took the simpler is better approach. Well, it doesnt feel bad because then people wouldnt kiss and we wouldnt make babies. Natures life-cycle would end (appealing to his scientific mind). But of course when you love - trust - respect a special person in your life you do things that feel good. When older son pushed "but HOW does it feel?" 

"Any answer I give IS NOT 

THE EXACT right answer... but is something. 

And that starts the conversation."

I left it at like kissing mom or our family but way better, because when you lile someone you also feel butterflies in your stomach, and you get alot of excited energy passing in your body. So the excitement + butterflies + just the idea of smooching make a kiss with someone special feel like you dancing on air!

Surprisingly he was quiet. So was I.

We sat on the bed for a long, long moment. And he asked, so how does sex feel? And I said like smooching - with all those emotions following you - but we will talk about sex when your much older. I know your curious, but we have alot of time before you need to know more. (At least I really really hope so!)

Then the girls question came up, not surprisingly. My son hears the Hot Mama conversation at home: my husband often reacts to the HOT ladies on Latin TV "look at those sexy mamas." The boys giggle, dad smiles and its over. In our house sexyness is okay. We teach the kids about their bodies, loving their bodies, and about grooming how they look because my current parenting operating theory is "you are in charge of your body." How you dress, how you look, how you feel about yourself, you own those details - always! And feeling good about how you look is ok. Lovig your body is important. I want our kids to like their good looking body so they keep it healthy, and inorder to do that you need to eat healthy. Admiring other bodies - that look goood - with respect and genuine admiration is okay too. Yelling at women, whistling at men, and yelling to someone on the street "hey sexy mama" is not okay! 

And how do we draw those "appropriate" boundaries for our kids? Talking and talking and talking about it. Conversation hopeully will lead to an understanding of what we believe for our home.

Backfires does happen!

We've told our boys there is no dating until High School. We have heard unfortunately of middle school dating, and even fourth graders saying they have a boyfriend / girlfriend. What "dating" actually occurs for these grades isn't certain, but the kids are still preoccupied with things during class time with topics other then school.

My older son said he "was dared" to ask a girl out, and he did, and she said yes. "So what does that mean? Where will you go? You know you don't have permission to 'go out or date' anyone!" I don't know, he said.

This scenario lead to more CONVERSATIONS! Obviously we've reiterated our rules about dating, talked about how he ended up in this situation, and how to prevent it in the future. Yes this situation is NOT a "big deal" but if I can't talk about these types of subjects with my kids, then I won't be able to discuss simpler things - or serious ones.

He is old enough to ask questions, then he deserves an answer. Any answer I give IS NOT THE EXACT right answer... but is something. And that starts the conversation. 

My son looks to little to talk ABOUT IT. But he isn't. Now is the time so he can learn
what mommy feels is right for our home. And for him. 

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud 

Behind the Tag Line How I Make Mistakes, Breathe, Reflect and LaughOut Loud

The Story behind the blog tag line ...

My original tag line was "The Days are Long, the Years are short," with a later added: "Enjoy every moment." All true. I witnessed how quickly my son grew, daily changes in him physically, and the pace at which he learned new things and built on those ideas blew me away. But then came my oh so many mommy mistakes. Make Mistakes I realized that I make a lot of mistakes, a lot. 

Make Mistakes

In our projects where I expected my then 2-year old to attach stickers "exactly" in the right place. In my "quick to anger"  behaviors. In how I handled situations "badly"... mistakes were everywhere. And even tho I did many things well (see other blog posts where we are having more fun than not) my personal irritation was my own mistakes. I felt bad. I felt I was a mommy failure. 

"I felt bad. I felt I was a mommy failure." 

It's a bad mix of being type A, and my Catholic upbringing. Thanks sister(s) Xavier, Vienia, and the like. But I knew I wouldn't want to stay at home if I kept feeling guilty. I think I offset my guilt with some of those crazy over the top projects. The kids scrapbooks with all our cool projects, especially "Project time with Magazine clippings" - my favorite. And perhaps that's why I always took young son everywhere, cool fun activities which he loved were perhaps subconsciously to help make up for all that yelling. (I'm rattling thru a reflection here, your living a moment of reflection in my head.) Everything's meant to be tho. You can't grow without failure to learn from. 

Reflect

I needed to yell, like I heard often in my childhood, so I COULD CHANGE. I needed to have Catholic Guilt so I COULD CHANGE and grow to not feel bad any more. And into my life came reflection. I can say it was life changing! I was introduced to "reflecting" by my husband. (It was a "new to me" and "new theory" being used by his Principal Preparation Certification Program. I started to reflect on my mommy mistakes, and I CHOSE to do things differently, from yelling at my kids, breaking the cycle in our family multi-generational get angry and yell at kids, changing how I talk (tone and words) to my kids, our approach to school, etc., etc., etc., Reflecting became a part of my mommy process. And its hard, sometimes I'd cry and my behavior earlier in the day. "How could I ...." 

I didn't always journal about it, but I did often discuss things with my hubby, my mom, some other close friends, and then  I'd often blog about those big moments. But mostly the work was for me, to acknowledge and commit to change. Yelling and criticizing is just not an option. Realizing, and then embracing, that my kids and others will do things differently and work at their own pace. And accept it!

"I discovered a better closing thought for me: I would definitely continue to Make Mistakes. Even tho I learn everyday ..."

Now, I reflect (often and on everything) and learn from those faux pas. And so, I discovered a better closing thought for me: I would definitely continue to Make Mistakes. Even tho I learn everyday, mistakes and accidents still happen, far less often, but they do happen on occasion.

Breathe 

My skill I had mastered to stop the anger was taking a deep breath, and Breathing in helped me let it go (and stop getting mad at everything). I also witnessed my younger son start overreacting to minor situations in a way older son hadn't. I knew more change needed to happen. Daniel Tiger had a great episode and song we'd sing, when you get mad, taking a deep breath & count to 5. It helped younger son and me. This step doesn't stop, and doesn't end. Anger is something deep inside of us. Sometimes warranted, and sometimes simply and overreaction, I still have some triggers, but I'm learning, and re-learning to transcend that anger, and transition it to better emotional responses instead. Frustration is okay, yelling is not. 

Laugh.Out.Loud 

I'm a crazy woman. I'm funny, I love to laugh, I love to play and have fun. I often will push "social" boundaries and live a little on the "safe" edge, to do what's write or get a laugh. Either way, I laugh at myself, often. I have to because my life can get a little,looney with my 3 monkeys. I love them passionately with all my soul! And I have to laugh to keep my sanity. The periods in between the words emphasize that's the end... The Laughter should be the final phase, to living, loving, and being with kids should often be days filled with lots and lots of laughter. I laugh out loud at myself, and with them. 

I do it all for these 3. Always worth it. 

And so... Make mistakes. Breathe, Reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud

Celebrating my 4 Year Blogging Anniversary with The Top 4 Blog Posts

6 Years Later, these posts still roar the loudest! Thank you for your continued readership!!

I'm enjoying spending time with my kids, experiencing these early years in boring day to day activities, finding their joy while we run errands, and the fun projects and kid activities we do over-and-over-and-over at home. Raising kids has some simple joys: like when baby girl wants to hear the "put on Bumble Bee song" again. And then the frustration I know I'll feel when all 3 are in the car fighting who's song gets played first. During my short blogging experience, its 2014 and we're pushing year number 4, I've found that on days I feel like a loser mom who doesn't do enough,... That I do just that. Enough. We don't need to do more. We don't need to try EVERY Pinterest craft (although we do like to try new ones that are easily changed up with a little tweak). We simply need to keep our "routine" which keeps us sane and keeps us doing new things.

 While reviewing my posts and cleaning up labels I was pleased to find increased views (perhaps my Twitter shares is helping, or the fact that we have linked into the Insect Underworld?), and having nearly 7,000 page views is exciting for this simple mom from Chicago. 

 The Top 4 Most Viewed Posts 

My first posts stay the most popular after all these years. When I just had my first older son, I was hyper vigilant about trying to raise him to be confident. I had observed some strange behaviors in the men in my life, and my family is outnumbered by men at least 3:1 men to women. I wanted to understand what is the cause of the underlying behaviors was so as a mom I didn't repeat the issues that boys have. And so the post that you love so much came to life.

No. 1

Parenting Boys to Become Confident Men See the full post here.

My next obsession in trying to be a better mom was our Routine. Was I spending my day efficiently, we're there some mommy ideas that I could use to make even better use of my day? I wanted to incorporate school-like learning into our day. Since then I have learned that kids will learn everyday, we just need to let them observe and explore at their own pace. I used to try to "make a learning moment" and I discovered that moments will happen, as a mom I have to left my son take the time to watch the squirrel, read the book, or color when HE wants to and when he feels inspired. Granted that big lesson evolved over a few years, and big lessons were learned from his Preschool teacher. Talk about A-Ha moments. But back to schedules and routines. I knew I wanted to limit TV time, and since this post was written I would change one big aspect, I WOULD let my son watch a little more cartoons on PBS (no commercials) and watch movies at least once a week (similar to our movie nights now as a family of 5). What? Yes, limiting tube time is beneficial, Why? My older son is the only one of 3 kids who "zones out" in front of the TV. 

He's not concentrating on the show, he's literally engrossed in it. The other two younger ones don't become so engrossed. The TV can be in the background - like background noise almost - with them, unlike with my older son. I think changing this one aspect would help my son see TV as something normal, an almost everyday thing, and not something "special." Older son is 9 years old now and he no longer gets sucked up into the TV in a poltergeist-esque way. He's way more normal about watching TV, unless it's Life of Mammals, that still a regular feature flick here and he demands silence in the room as we watch so he can hear every detail being shared.

No. 2

The 2nd Place Most Popular Post 

Limiting Kids TV Time with a No TV Schedule 

See the Full Original Post Here. 

And if you limit kids TV, What should the kid be doing? There's plenty to do, as you'll see in the post.

No. 3 Two posts are tied for 3rd place. 

I started a Pinterest account for myself when I saw some friends posting the coolest kids activities on Facebook. As we started pinning Insects, I wanted to document our progress and started a Pinterest Page for this blog, find us here at Areyousureaboutthat/Pinterest.com 

The 3rd Place *tied* Most Popular Post 

Post for "Salt Glue and Paint Toddler Project" and "Sensory Bins and Bags: I spy, Ocean Blue and an African Habitat." 

These two inspirations came from Pinterest. We remade sensory bottles oh so many times... Sensory bins became my go to saving grace at friends homes to keep kids busy (when the toys we brought lost their fun). The kids would get immersed in the making of the sensory bags and would play with them for long periods of time. We evolved to using Sensory Bottles since they were cleaner (less leakage) and easier to manage to the kids. They could actually practice pouring into the small openings or use (extra fun) funnels. In our the Ocean Blue, I know the rich color of the bags.

Our 1st sensory bags - Red I-Spy complete with poem and the Blue Baby Oil Ocean Areyousureaboutthatblog
That rich color was made by mixing the food coloring with baby oil in one of the first steps. We still have that sensory bag, poured into a sensory bottle.

African Habitat Sensory Bin Areyousureaboutthatblog

The small animals in the habitat pictures helped me get a lot of click thrus from Pinterest. And yes, we have sensory bins in their holding corners that baby girl uses often even today. She prefers measuring tools to animals, and spends loads of time with them. She's even better at NOT pouring all the rice all over the floor (bonus). Younger son still occasionally enjoy the sensory bin even after he's started Kindergarten.

No 4.

The Most Researched and 4th place most Popular Post 

"Breastfeeding, A Collection of Tips from a Mom who Nursed for Several Years (okay, A Decade)." 

See the Original (yet lovingly refreshed) Full Post Here. 

When I joined the Pinterest community, I experience all the shared advice available about breastfeeding your baby. Wow, what I would've given to have had a Pinterest type of site and later app to use as a breastfeeding resource. To be able to dig thru already sourced and pinned ideas and tips... But at the same time this post was inspired. 

I am obsessive when I research an idea. And when I started nursing I had a collection of (my) issues. There was so much I didn't know. In communities around the world kids grow up seeing women nurse. Mothers, cousins, sisters, aunts... It's everywhere! I didn't have this experience. And when I did have an aunt who was nursing my two cousins, I vividly remember she closed the door when she nursed her son. It wasn't for privacy, it was her version of some of those "weird men behaviors" I mentioned I noticed in my family. My reading and research brought my a whole collection of tips and advice that I felt were untapped. NOW many of these sites are booming, but some of my tips remain unsaid. I knew I needed to keep updating The Collection of Breastfeeding Tips when my cousin, who successfully nursed 3 daughters had a problem with her 4th baby, a son. I shared my advice for a SNS supplemental nursing system tube, which saved my nursing experience with my younger son and baby girl.

So I updated the post, added some pics, and links where I could still find them. But it seems the advice and tips was better then the links (which a quick google search would help in). 

Thanks for reading my blog, about our fun and adventures.... And of course the Insects. 

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud. 

Happy Halloween Book of Doom, Written by Older 9YO Son

On the day of Halloween, a snowy Friday in Chicago this year, my older son came home from 4th grade with a "Happy Halloween Dictionary / Book of Doom." he wrote it before the end of the day at his school Halloween party. I love that his vocabulary is large, but he's still working on his spelling. Werewolves was spelled "wearewholf," Frankenstein was only missing the 1st "e," and Pumkins without another "p." regardless, it's a great creative little story. It highlights his awareness of the roles of each creature, and the totality of their supposed powers coming true all in one night. I love this kid and his creativity! Happy Halloween. Book of Doom written by Older 9-year old son "Werewolves Jump at night At the moon of fright. Franknstine knocks on your classroom door. In your window bats fly. Pumpkins talk when your back is turned. Ghosts fly in front of your face. Zombies eat you one at a time. Hope you survive this Halloween. From, Older Son" Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

Going to the Beach on a Cold Autumn Day

Yes, we go to the Beach even when it's cold outside. We went to visit Grandma and of course Baby Girl said "Lets go to the beach." The kids were stir crazy, it's an hour long ride, we were indoors at home before breakfast and at Grandmas indoors on arrival. It was time to "get our energy out." So we did.

Safety First! Everyone gets dressed in layers, to prevent getting sick and just for the sale of comfort. We don't want to go outside and have to come straight home because of complaining "Mommy, I'm cold!" 

Mommy wears layers too, because its crazy to leave an activity if I am cold! I need to be just as prepared as the kids.

Boys and Baby Girl wear either their fitted Pajama Pants, or their long johns under their pants (baby girl has thick cotton tights). Pants are something wind resistant like Jeans or Sport Pants (not joggers). Shirts are a long sleeve shirt, short sleeved T-Shirt and a sweatshirt or sweater. Hats, gloves, scarf and a jacket. 

Is getting all this clothes on worth it?

ABSOLUTELY!!! We hit the beachfront for about 15 minutes. To escape the wind, we drove a short 1 minute in the same state park to the playground with swings and climbing area. Grandma took older son for a walk, and I stayed playing hide and seek with the 'lil ones. We were outdoors for nearly 2 hours! And time flew by!

These photos were taken the day after Halloween 2014, when we had SNOWFALL in Chicago on October 31!!! I don't ever remember a snowy Halloween. 

These photos are nearly untouched. I love that you can see the Chicago skyline on the right side of this photo. The yellow tones in the picture were the actual colors that day, great contrast against the greys of Lake Michigan (eventho that grey is sediment / dirt in the water). The Lake Michigan waves were 20 feet the day before. We guesstimated about 5' tall in these pics.  Grandma ironically said she'd be warm having on a thick sweater and thin wool red coat. She was the first one in the car, and the kids still wanted to climb the dunes... Good thing Mommy had warm layers on! Baby girl and Baba walked up to the shoreline. The water is grey because of the tumultuous winds causing the high waves, and the waves make the water bring up sediment from the floor bottom of the Lake.

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Learning about Insects is Everywhere, even at the Dentists Office

My boys are at their semi-annual dental checkup and cleaning. Mom is settling in, grabbing a magazine to read while I wait. (I'm so lucky they don't just carry the style and feel horrible about yourself lady magazines and actually carry intelligent content like Smithsonian and Kiwi.) Meanwhile my older son came across this bug book. Buzzing Insects was written by a Local Chicagoian Tom Greve. Its all about insects that sting (and don't).

We were reading the page about a Bee and a Horse "Mimic" Fly. This little boy who just finished his appointment, as is often the case with me and kids, he wandered across the room to see what we were chatting about. He loved hearing that the look-a-like bee was actually a mimic.

My older son proceeded to explain that his huge black eyes are different from a regular bee. Also the fly has 2-wings and a real bee has 4-wings (2-pairs). His mom stood nearby - as is also the frequent case - when the kids come to talk / listen to us. We love reading these books anywhere we find them because we always find a new tidbit inside for our storage bank of bug knowledge.


Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Follow me on Twitter to see more of our (Mis)Adventures

Suddenly I See that I am a part of this amazing world, and my job is to raise my two Gentleman and a Lady to the best of my ability. I share our adventures, bug collecting, and general mom at home joys.

The @Minstr0Interior part? I am the "Minister of the Interior" (of my home), of our lives. Until my kids grow up, I am in charge of doing my best, and teaching them everything I know and I'm learning, so they have an (as) excellent as possible example on how they can do it all in their own lives.

We had a nice conversation with friends about life as a stay at home mom, money, life with kids, running a business and all that comes with these life roles rolled into one. Just like a department, in the Ministry, with many sub-jobs helping the Minister run the Interior.


Follow Us on Twitter

I'm still fun, mostly funny, and ALWAYS enjoying time with my kids. We bug collect in Chicago and during all of our explorations of this Amazing World.

   


And see lots of Pinterest Options for some of my Inspirations and Creations at 
My Pinner Name: Are You Sure About That
Pinterest/com/areyousureaboutthat

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

The Halloween "Black and White Witch" Strikes Again, Swapping Candy for Toys

Have you heard of a new tradition of the Black and White Witch? After the trick-or-treats are collected, if your house is anything like ours, she is an amazing fun way to solve the excess candy problem. Yes, I know, just EAT the candy... And we do, but as you'll note from these pictures our 3 kids easily collected 10 pounds of candy! 

Our Halloween candy tends to last all year! Seriously ALL YEAR!  And the way that it lasts all year? Well the black-and-white witch takes care of it. She is a relative of the tooth-fairy,  third cousins, once removed. 

Last year she left us this poem on our front stoop explaining how her operation works:

"I am the witch who is Black and White, 

I fill your Halloween with fright. 

After tonight I must fly away, 

and return to scare the children another day. 

But before I leave I will cast a spell, 

which will not make you feel well. 

You will ache, quake and feel yucky inside… 

But there's a way to put all this aside. 

To break my spell you must give me some sweets, 

but only the ones you don't want to eat! 

I need the sugar to keep me alive, 

until next Halloween I'll survive.

And in exchange for the treats you leave, 

I'll give you something you won't believe! 

For every girl and boy,

you will awake to a brand-new toy! 

Break my spell unless you want to feel yucky inside, 

and get me on my broomstick ride. 

And tomorrow morning you will delight, 

with the toy I've left in your sight. 

Love the Black-&-White Witch"

Last years appearance was a tremendous hit. 

An All Hallows Eve Tradition

During a filling spaghetti dinner (leaving less room for post trick or treat candy), we talk about the All Hallows Eve tradition, and why we dress like ghouls and goblins going house to house to collect candy (do you know why?) 

We dressed warm this year under our costumes to a snowy Chicago Halloween. And even tho we only hit 2-blocks for Trick or Treating, we really scored the mother load of candy. 

The boys sorted their candy, and put their absolute favorites in our candy jar (B&W Witch won't take it since she avoids glass jars). Then they leave out their Halloween Candy Buckets with leftovers for the Witch to take. She returns the favor with a toy. 

In 2013 Bey Blades were all the rage! This year, my dad dropped off more toys that he's filtered from my brothers room... these Awesome Dragon Creatures. Each child gets 2, mom added the candy in the dragons mouths for effect :-) (And I have a sneaky suspicion the rest of the dragons will make an appearance at Christmas! The kids will have a whole set.)

As for the candy, that plastic bag is filled with this years take, it's weighing easily 7 pounds ... I took M&M's out for tomorrow mornings pancakes (the kids will be suffering sugar withdrawal and M&M pancakes are a good fix). Mommy took her butterfingers and Hersey's stash, Dad gets Twix and Kit Kats. The candy bag destiny awaits on the top shelf of the pantry and I will use the goods to refill the candy jar throughout the year.

Happy trick or treats this Halloween. I hope the Black and White Witch makes an appearance at your house soon... Even up to a few days after the Hallow's Eve.

Happy Halloween!

Make Mistakes. Breathe, Reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud

Going for a Walk, Again, and Again, and Again...

When my older son was born we went for walks every single day, sometimes even twice a day. Regardless if it was the warmest, sunniest day or the chilliest winter in Chicago, every single day we walked again and again and again.

Update: January 2015

Snowstorm "Lucas" dropped over 19 inches of snow on the Chicagoland area. We were flying back home from Las Vegas that day and we were one of the last flights into O'Hare airport. It's now two weeks later in a beautiful 28° day in Chicago, nearly 10 inches of that snow has melted. So baby girl and I are going for our daily walk. As you can see we still have about a foot of snow.

Back to the Original Post: 2014

My grandmother, his great-grandmother's age old advice, baby should get fresh air every day, and get a little bit of red in their cheeks, that makes for a healthy happy child. And I continue that philosophy even till now, a whole nine years later with my younger son and baby girl.

I'll have to admit, it is nine years later, and we own a home and I have three children and I feel like there's lots more to do. We're also continuing some renovations in our basement and kitchen, so walking every day I'll admit is no longer my priority. However that doesn't mean it's not just as important as it was nearly a decade ago.

Taking a walk is such a simple thing, and I know moms can often feel overwhelmed when they see these great ideas from their friends on Facebook and Twitter doing crafts and activities with their kids. But honestly the best activity that I could've ever done with my children is the simple act of taking a walk.

It doesn't matter when, in the morning, in the afternoon, going to a nearby park, or even an after dinner stroll which is another frequent activity of ours. Walking is just one of those excellent activities because you can be completely engaged with your child. Talking about the changing colors of the trees and the leaves, I'm inspired because it's fall now. Or even in the winter time looking at the snow, throwing snowballs, enjoying the chill in the air, and then of course there's the nature fact even though we live in an urban area of Chicago, there is nature all around us. We listen to the squirrel squeak at each other or the birds chirping trying to identify the call of Blue Jays or Robins.

I had the benefit of starting early with my kids, and I've heard some of my neighbors say they think it's not that we walk around so often, that "their kids" would never want to do something as boring as taking a walk. So if you can start them early, otherwise try and engage your kids in simple acts on the walk, like see how many different colors we can find, how many shades of green there are, how many animals we can find, ooh - what's that sound you hear. As for the older ones try to position it as you-and-me time. I want to head about your day! it's just a way of connecting with them and you listening (i phone left at home for a whole 20 minutes) and not talking.

The other thing I love about walks, is it has built in education and concepts that all her kids need to learn. Clothing that's appropriate for the weather, reminders for moms and dads when we should wear hats gloves and scarves, when do we wear our snowboots versus our boots for fall. Gym shoes or crocs today? Did you remember to go potty before you left the house? Do you have socks on? All things we need to consider and teach our kids, at any age.

So I've been lazy, it's Halloween and there's lots of decorating and pumpkin carving, and we haven't been doing our double walks every day. After lunch I would usually take a stroll with baby girl before her nap, because all the fresh air makes for a well deserved nap that is nice and long. However we of course walk every day to go pick up the boys from school. Older son and younger son are now in a full day program at school which just leaves me time with her. And maybe that's where the laziness sets in? Being Taipei isn't easy. When I'm not overloaded with work, I also feel ironically unmotivated. I know isn't that silly? When I'm not tempting to all three of the children, I feel like I'm being lazy which then turned out to be true laziness because I don't do much.  (I know, its like an illness, my version of don't do much, is not the version of most people's time too much, I admit it.)

Today is a vest day in Chicago. It's a nippy 48°, with a high of 55. Tomorrow is Halloween October 31, 2014. And I'm taking a walk with my baby girl.




Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Cicada Emerging from Nymph Shell. In Our Playlot, Upclose View

We came home from an outing, accomplishing one of our many visits to somewhere on the Summer Bucket List, and the kids immediately hit our playlot. But today we had a surprise visitor, this dog day cicada got a little stuck on his was out emerging from his nymph shell. The emerging process was slow. . . . We stood there observing him for nearly 30 minutes. The initial moment he broke out his head he stood motionless. We went inside to eat, and when we're turned he was gone, success! Yes, we did collect the nymph shell. It's in our now designated cicada box, July 2013. Make mistakes, breathe, reflect, Laugh.Out.Loud, and go Bug Collecting!

Our Rock Collection, Accessible on the Kitchen Table

Yes, we also collect rocks. We keep our rock collection handy, on the kitchen ledge accessible to the kids. Often, especially while waiting for some sort of food service, they will grab a plastic jar and explore it's contents. We do have a fun simple activity where the kids get a plastic bowl with a little water in it, the kids add the rocks one at a time and guess and explore what will happen to the rock hen it gets wet. After a few dunks, they end up simply guessing the color change they'll see.

My older son loved the wet activity the most. Baby girl is starting to be interested, especially when we did the activity in the yard together.

And when we are out bug collecting, we come across cool rocks on the beach, or fossils along Lake Michigan, these finds come home with us. We aren't pack rats I promise. We don't walk amongst tall rows of stuff. Once a jar gets full it will probably go into our garden... Or a project.... Or something. But for now we have room to grow !

Top view, the sea shells were given to us by our then neighbors who were debating if they should move out of town, to the Sunshine State, they did. And on one of their visits back brought us some beautiful big, free, seashells.


Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect, and Laugh.Out.Loud

Frozen Bugs - An Alternative way to Kill Jars and prepare Specimens for Pinning

Our Summer 2014 bug collection is getting enourmous! We have exceeded all expectations and crossed the 1,000 specimens mark. Our two biggest finds with nearly 200 insects each added a whopping 400 insects in a brief 2 month (or so) period. We don't always use my unique kill jar method (Acetone nail polish remover on a cotton ball). We often use the freezer method when accessible.

Frozen Bugs - An Alternative way to Kill Jars and prepare Specimens for Pinning 

Which luckily freezers seem to always be accessible. Once we capture an insect, either dead or injured, we put them in our jars, or mom's makeshift bug envelope and freeze them. Freezing is a nice humane method. The insect nearly instantly gets drowsy / gets stunned from the cold. Their so small, the chill affects them instantly. The freezer method is also sterile because the jars (which we clean with soap and water after each capture) don't use chemicals like with traditional kill jars. Any bacteria the insects carry is within the safety of the jar.

In this picture I removed the lid and one fly for a size example. As always, I prefer plastic jars when working with my kids. We simply keep and clean plastic containers from what we love to eat - Nutella containers (with the paper lining from the inner lid removed), a Polish mustard jar (I make my awesome salad dressing with it & of course use a schmear on grilled Polish Sausage), and the blue point is a quickly made envelope (from paper we looked for when we found the Western Conifer Hemiptera).

Insect Pinning Disaster - Fixing a Dragonfly Tail and Leg

At the beginning of the summer I knew this years goal was to:

1. teach the kids hands on pinning and

2. catch a dragonfly.

Insects have their seasonal cycles, so dragonfly's wouldn't be found until August through September.

Insect Pinning Disaster - Fixing a Dragonfly Tail and Leg

Our first goal was achieved and fast. Baby girl started pinning quickly. We organized and outing with our cousins to go bug collecting and pin some specimens (that I gathered previously) to pin when we get back home. That was a fun day helping get others addicted to our hobby.

Back to dragonflies. We had a wonderful friend send us a "Lion Ant" dragonfly she found near her home in McHenry County. We talked about packaging him securely in a plastic bag, adding him to a box a firm envelope so he doesn't break further. Yes we get everyone involved in our collecting! ! ! And all are welcome!

You can see that the specimen had its limb and tail broken off. However, no worries, we can easily fix these kind of problems.


First pin the dragonfly. Luckily I didn't have to rehydrate (soften) the specimen.

Then using as little clear nail polish as possible, I attached the limb. I tend to blow on the glue spot (where the Nail polish is added) to quicken the drying process.

Ladybugs shadow box has a home - found lots of insects

When we found our PAYLOAD of ladybugs at Loyola beach this summer, I already had a plan in the back of my mind to display them in some interesting (to me) way. We did label almost 50 of them when I remembered that I had a shadow box at home that I could use to make a display for them. Nice enough that husband would like seeing it on the wall.

The box needed some TLC, the walls holding the glass needed to be wiped down and glued in place. It's a thrifty find, so I also pulled out (okay, just ripped) the ceramic tiny vases it displayed. I also washed and dried the glass. Then I pulled out the velvet backing and added a styrofoam layer to hold the pins more securely. Then, to be sure I didnt out in all this effort and have to make changes to the design and layoutlater, I added a few pins on each corner as a test if I could anchor the box where the backing "slips in" and have the lady's go into the box undisturbed also. Once I determined how much room I needed on each side, I only had to sketch out my design for the pin layout. That was a fast drawing since I saw the layout in my minds eye already.

Ladybugs shadow box has a home - found lots of insects

At first, I added both the pinned and card point ones, however the white of the card points stood out too much against the black velvet background. I first took one lady off her card point, then easily removed another, and another. One may have lost a leg, but for the most part they "came off" easily. It's clear nail polish that we use as their glue. I could've applied effort and use nail polish remover and a q-tip, however I was so excited and in the moment I couldn't pull myself away (and I had to get the kids to bed in 30 minutes and a meeting in the morning, so... No polish remover!).

New Book on American Bumble Bee and Chart on Insect Specimen Identification

At the library tonight we came across a great new book on American Bumble Bee has wonderful species identification references inside. (Maybe this method of species identification is just "new" to me?) So easy to review which species you may have based on the color coded variations. Brilliant!!! I cant believe I haven't seen this before?! And I am amazed at the subtle variations from species to species.

This is a page reference on species of bee. Look at the minor variation between sketches, where yellow is filled in and isn't.
Here she included specimen names next to the sketch, for newbie entomologists like me. . . This is young love!

This is my old way of keeping an identification method for bees. Pure pictures we find by chance, like this billboard at the LaPorte County Fair which we visit in Indiana every year.

My Regular Good Deed

I frequent our area Aldi store. Its one of those grocery stores where its a help yourself customer service model. The aisles are full of grocery's still in boxes, the top few are opened and customers help themselves to the goods. Then you can use the emptied boxes to pack your groceries instead of boxes.

Their shopping carts work similarly where you insert a quarter to release the locking mechanism and use the cart. When you return and lock your cart the quarter is released.

I however leave my quarter, every time. I like to think it puts a smile on someones face when they find it. Yes, its only a quarter, but its still a nice and good deed, right. I think Karma likes it because once I was without a quarter and low and behold it was in a cart, waiting for me. (It wasn't MY quarter either!)

My kids always want to keep the quarter, but I encourage them to leave it for someone (and then we end up discussing how happy THEY get when they find money on the ground. I know it's not $$ millions $$, but it makes me feel good. Who Doesn't like to Find a Penny? Well here's a quarter.


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> Random acts of kindness, pass it along.
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> Make mistakes, breathe, reflect and laugh out loud!

Inspirational letter for my Brother on his Special Occasion

Inspirational letter to my Brother Matthew

When my brother was completing his Confirmation, the woman who was running the program was very thorough and serious about her role and what the children were learning. She did an excellent job to run the program and the class. The family received a letter and, parents and sponsors (thats me) were asked to give him an inspirational letter that he would read on his retreat. This is what I wrote....

For the purpose of this letter you should know he is my brother, 20 years and 5 days my junior. I was in the room when he was delivered (as lamaze coach), I was the first person in our family to hold him, I filled out his birth certificate, and he is so much more to me than my brother!

My father is remarried, and my stepmom and I are very close as well.  She knows me since I was a little girl and luckily we've stayed close. I grew up as an only child, a happy but lonely childhood. So, when I found out she was expecting I was so incredibly joyful. I was attending Junior College and deciding where to go "away" to school for my Bachelors Degree and beyond... But LITERALLY that night it all changed. I decided to continue school and live at home. (For the sake of story telling the night I found out my step-mom was expecting I had to tell someone. I couldn't call my mom, just be because she wouldn't share that same level if enthusiasm. And I discovered I really had no one who would've shared that level if enthusiasm. (I'm so glad I had 3 kids JUST so they have someone to share these moments with, on their level, from a shared background and history.) 

I drove to my uncle's house (where I'd actually start living and renting an apartment a short two years later) to share the news. He was happy for me, but not nearly at my level of joy. (In all fairness I cry when I'm happy when my kids get something cool, like a movie pass, or off to pumpkin picking.)

That's some background. I did some research on "Inspirational Letters" and googled terms along those lines, but I wanted to share my enthusiasm for him as a person, someone I loved (more like a mothers love then a sisters), and I treasure him. How could I convey that importance? 

I also held values and beliefs about what family is and how ti find your purpose that varied a little from his parents... My brother and I have talked about this. But this was a moment to solidify our shared thoughts and feelings on the values we had discussed so many times.

Their were lots of poems, generalities on what to include, but each reference gave ME inspiration for my final letter.

The letter was handwritten on white paper and glued to a "fancy paper" for a nice handmade, time invested, touch."

"All About Matthew."

You are important to me and here's why...

I was planning college, going of to school, life - at that time - was all about me, and when I found out your mom was pregnant I was  thrilled because I always wanted a brother or sister. You were so important before you were even born. That moment changed my life because I knew I wanted to have a relationship with you. 

Age 2 running in the yard, giving hugs and kisses. I saw you at least once a week for years - to be sure - we would know eachother well.

Spending time with you growing up filled a big gap in my life - sharing things with someone you love, secrets from parents (even if it was just eating ice cream before dinner) was amazing. And you were always so happy to share with me - dinosaurs and books - letting me read to you and snuggle at bedtime.

Do you remember our family trip to Canada and talking about the stars?

It was always a special part of my day to see you. I hope you have felt that I always wanted you to be a big part of my life.

So when it was time for me to have my own kids, you are apart of the inspiration for my decision to stay home and raise them. You grew up so fast - I didn't want to miss a moment of the magic we shared  with my kids too. I see how important a relationship is with the people we love. With teaching kids everything we know to give them the best chance in life.

...  And now, since you know how important you are to me, I want to share with you some important things I've learned to help me in life... And to help you be the Man you are meant to Become!!

...I want you to continue to be who you are, and don't be afraid to push yourself to be the best you can. I want you to push boundries and dream big because so far you have shown you really can do anything.

... Completely immerse yourself in new ideas and things that interest you, it's great how you keep learning new things and really LOVE learning. I envy that your so young with a whole life - to dream and create - in front of you.

... I know when we hear "thank you's" it can make us shy or feel weird, that's normal. But still it is really important to tell the people we care about how we feel.

... You have great enthusiasm, and sense of humor, you are quick to learn new things, you are so lovable, caring to your family and friends, and very generous. Don't ever stop these things!

There's a few things I learned growing up from those around us:

-- When you know something people around you know that you do - feel secure in that.

-- Always give people a chance, especially those you love or care about. That means sometimes giving a 2nd chance too.

-- Remember people are usually more good then bad, but try to learn something from everyone you meet, even if it's what not to do. Be sure to stop and listen most of the time.

-- Remember lying is always wrong, especially to those we love. The few times I've lied in my life it has been to try and protect someone's feelings, which I felt was more important then the lie. Being upfront about the issue is sometimes a better choice!

-- When u get a compliment just say thank you, all of us get uncomfortable so just having something to say makes taking praise easier. Smile and say Thanks!

-- Keep pushing boundries and limits, keep building with legos, keep writing and aspiring to be an author, if you follow your passion you will be successful. And most importantly happy with yourself.

-- In life, with growing technology and daily tasks keeping us busy, it's hard to remember to tell the people we care about why their important. Sometimes saying what we feel is hard. But more important to say something then keeping it to yourself. So I wanted to be sure to take the time to tell you how important you are to me.

Sometimes we will argue, and as you get older and form your own opinions we might not see eye to eye. But that's ok! We may differ, that's normal, but know I'm always listening to you and care about how you feel. And I'll want to hear what your opinion is.

Family is important because those are the people you are tied to in your life. We are rubber bands, and even when we stretch and go far away from each other, we always spring back to each other. I'm am happy you are a part if my life and I look forward to you "Uncle Matt" and hopefully my sons having a similar relationship. I hope they can learn from you and the things you love.

I am proud to walk as a companion in your journey thru faith.

Know that I will always love and care about you no... matter... what...

I love you always! 

Make mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud.

DIY Elastic Laces for Gym Shoes

My older son wore these nice Adidas shoes twice, then his foot grew! So I kept them for when younger son would be ready to wear them. Younger son is anxious to wear them now, however, since we wear crocs all the time he doesn't tie his shoes yet.

I've seen these great elastic no-lace ties for gym shoes. There colorful and pricey  $5-10 for the pair, but they solve our problem of not tying shoes yet. Meanwhile I was working on my fur collar project, adding lining and elastic to run a scarf or necklace under the collar. That's when I realized I could use regular elastic for his shoes, and save a bundle. 

I guesstimated the length, laced up his shoes and loosened along the way. I didn't want the laces to be tight so the elastic has room to move and be flexible. If the elastic remained tightly laced it would probably break quickly.

I double knotted the ends. We bought a good quality elastic, so we didn't have to worry about the ends fraying. I could've probably heated the ends if they did fray to seal them.

So far it's been two months and younger son is enjoying his gym shoes daily. And if the elastic breaks, I'll replace them again.

My Young Sons New Elastic Laces

Baby girl has tap shoes that are missing their pretty laces. We did something similar on hers, using hair ties. 

Make Mistakes. Breathe, reflect and Laugh.Out.Loud

Poem: Me

Poem: ME

When yacking with the girls over a drink,

Sometimes I tend to think.

Am I a dying breed?

I think so with all my little deeds.

Just because I like to sew, 

cook lunch thru dinner, clean and mow.

Jack of all trades like a handy man,

An "Expert in nothing" proudly I am. 

To Fix a drip and a squeaky floor,

I'll use pliers and sprinkle talc near the door.

Sewing our costumes is not a trick,

Near the dogs collar I remove a tick

Makin' lobster bisque or (oooh) corn chowder,

To slide into my jeans I'll sprinkle baby powder.

Spring time digging, planting, is my joy,

Helping the kids bring out summer toys.

Making fresh penne in Pesto Paste,

Making mulch with vegetable waste.

In the falls collecting seeds, 

Grateful that there are no weeds.

Shopping lists which I don't dread,

Yes, I use my own bags instead!

We enjoy meals with a cloth napkin,

And cloth diapers our babies sat in.

I'm proud of the things that I can do,

And frankly I enjoy my life too.

So instead of sharing my latest tip,

I'll just sit here and take a sip.

The Story Behind the Poem:

When I first gave birth to my Older Son, at the 4 month mark I remember a cousin asked me "What do you do all day?" I laugh now at the thought. Truly running a household, is a full time job and a half (when my employed husband is home he helps out too). Yes I could eat ice cream all day, but the fruit is so much more rewarding when you grew it yourself.

So, at our bi-monthly girls nights I often sit, and listen. I dont share everything I do at home (I haven't even shared this blog). Because they do so much in their daily lives, SAHM stuff is boring... Time consuming... And it's a little sick that I enjoy it.

by: Areyousureaboutthatblog Author
Not Authorized for Reproduction Without Permission

Make Mistakes. Breath, Reflect. and Laugh.Out.Loud