Contemplation on Being Alone in Beauty or Company in Someplace Awful. Suicide

The recent suicide of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade have caught so much attention from us. For many reasons. Most the fear of suicide, for others, and many of us, the lack of being able to understand WHY People commit suicide. That deep utter sadness, that is so low, and devastating, it causes the person to think they need to end their life. 

Recently, I experienced a great sadness. One that brought me to the edge of these thoughts. But for whatever reason I was able to not dive deeper into the sadness, into the depression. Instead some self care and and much needed pampering got me thru the crisis. Not often will self care help pull one out from this depth and sheer loneliness. But I am grateful I found a way out. 

Their feelings are real, deep and often we feel that there were no clues. Or few clues.

Clues to the Sadness

After the death of Anthony Bourdain, I continued watching his show. Most recently while watching the CNN hit parts Unknown with Anthony Bourdain, there is a moment, where he reveals his deep thoughts, and some sadness.

Traveling, I feel, reveals deep parts of the soul. Time to contemplate, appreciate for some, and for others melancholy. I was recently in Istanbul, with my mom. And while fulfilling to see this rare and wondrous melting pot of the world, but I was alone. Without my children and husband. Without the people who I can share a common jargon, a common language that's all our own. My younger sons wonderful humor. Those family "inside jokes" that reference our common shared history. 

Thank god for texts and wifi calling to keep me connected. It got me thru this trip and many others times I just wanted that connection with my family. My core.

Contemplation on Being Alone in Beauty or Company in Someplace Awful. Suicide

But Anthony Bourdain lived a different life. Production constantly on the road. Constantly held to the mercy of travel, airlines issues, and schedules. Often with comrades on the road. but without those who he may have shared a common family made jargon. 

PARTS UNKNOWN: GREECE video clip

Alone: Anthony Bourdain "Is it worse to be someplace awful by yourself? Or someplace really nice, [in the most beautiful parts of the world], that you can’t share with anyone?"

Contemplation on Being Alone in Beauty or Company in Someplace Awful. Suicide

We can find a little hint in „ Parts Unknown ” Greece. So true. 

Alone: Anthony Bourdain "Is it worse to be someplace awful by yourself? Or someplace really nice, [in the most beautiful parts of the world], that you can’t share with anyone?"

Anthony had a tattoo added on his arm "I am certain of nothing." Neither am I.

But I do know that his work was life changing. Meetin people in their homes, eating their food. After all food is what also binds our shared experience. 

R.I.P. Anthony Bourdain. Your work will not be forgotten. I am certain of that! 

A quote that was circulating on facebook from Anthony Bourdain at the experience and necessity (I think) or travel. 

Anthony Bourdain Quote: Get off the couch

Move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. Walk in someone else's shoes or at least eat their food. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.

"Move. As far as you can, as much

as you can. Across the ocean,

or simply across the river. Walk

in someone else's shoes or at

least eat their food. Open your mind, 

get up off the couch, move."

Make Mistakes, breathe, reflect and Laugh. Out. Loud.