Part I - My Sons 8th Birthday Experience and His Treasure Map Adventure that went off without a hitch
Part II - You can see all the blunders of the day and where mom made plenty of mistakes. (Go ahead, skip to part II). I have a little "sub-title" to this post called "Moms shouldn't be perfect because were Ruining our sons chances of picking a Normal Girl as a wife!"
I'm preparing for my sons 8th birthday. We're visiting my mom in Indiana. The visit is always fun, and we knew he'd love celebrating his "birthday experience" here. (More on no party birthdays in a separate post.) He chose pancakes for breakfast, so we whipped some up in the pan with the blueberries that grandma picked up at the blueberry farm earlier in the week. The pancakes are my special ones made from my "air batter" which I whip the egg whites first, incorporating air, this helps my pancakes be extra light - and not the hard bricks they used to be (read more on things I do differently here at the Old Mom meet New Mom post).
Meanwhile, inspiration struck, so I've ripped up a paper bag for 'an authentic look' to draw my sons birthday present treasure map. He wanted to "hunt" for his gift like Indiana Jones.
So I thought through a path and then started drawing his map.. Grandmas house is in the middle.
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| areyousureaboutthatblog Birthday Treasure Map |
Yes this was a "whipped" up map, complete with 6 post-its "Clues" like: "Your gift rhymes with words like tramp, stamp, lamp, and mean, bean, lean." (He's practicing reading and doesn't even know it!) Another clue was "your presents under something Big, Tall, and is spelled with 4 letters: _ _ _ _ ." So after their cartoon time I set up our pancake breakfast, and the boys served themselves. That's our new thing, self serving portions at mealtime. I made clear I need to check on his present, and he can't follow me because he'll ruin his own adventure, and that's no fun. So he 'sent me out' around the house to make sure everything was set, and I put out the clues.
He enjoyed the hunt. And this was the part of the story of that went well.
The Blunders of the Day
So I'm not the perfect mom. There were some my real blunders today. I was cranky on his birthday morning but I still kissed him when he came to my bed, but his cough would've woken baby girl who still sleeps in my bed, so I asked him to go watch tv, as I snoozed a little longer. This birthday morning I forgot he wanted a blueberry smile pancake, so I scraped down the bowl for a teeny tiny bit of batter to make the pancake, last, and put the blueberry eyes and smiley face in to which the blueberry fell out as it was plated.
Then I put a wet spoon on the map I had just made, cringing that it'd bleed thru the markers and clues. I also realized that I had no gift from my young son to his brother. We didn't scrape some time together for even a card. (At dinner I whispered, "give your brother a small plate of your fries and tell him 'Happy Birthday!" Birthday boy was happy with that.) And as for our gift I hadn't even bought anything until "accidentally" seeing that trampoline the day before at our Salvation Army Galux. (Galux is family 'code' for thrift store. In Poland Galux was the Nordstrom's or What was the Woolworths of department stores. So appropo.) It was new and $9.98 btw. On the flip side I'm pretty good at coming up with little clever ideas so I had a backup gift plan.
But then I was thinking, it's a good that I screw up. Not such a terrible screw up, but its not the perfection that the Facebook pictures make it seem to be. Because one day my sons will want to find a partner in life, and if boys look for girls similar to their moms, I can't be "perfect" because then he will never get married!?! What things will she need to perfectly do for him? Never burn his food? Never miss buying a gift? Who's perfect? And do I want a perfect Daughter in Law? No thank you. I do not want Barbie figure, Martha Stewart cookin, Nanny Jo at my house! I want her to be normal. Not high maintenance perfection. To laugh at her mistakes and learn from them. Laugh.Out.Loud. I want her to be honest to herself and him when things go crazy.... And things will go wrong,... they have to, because that's Life, forks in the road are everywhere, she will have some coping skills to deal with it. Hopefully the partner t-he-y marries stays calm at a dilemma seeing an adventure, an opportunity for trying something new, and not a pitch fork!
And I admit that I mess up to my kids for partially this reason. Life doesn't always go the way we want. Then they see how mom handles that dilemma. And hopefully pick a girl who adjust easily too. (And I'm being honest with the boys 1. because that helps build their character, 2. they won't say I lied to them while they were growing up, 3. and I'm praying my honesty will lead to less "mom you screwed me up because..." ).
So ladies, (and dads striving at perfection, this applies to us all) don't be the perfect mom. Daughter-in-Law's thank me later.
The days are long the years are short. Make mistakes, breath, reflect, and don't forget to laugh.out.loud.
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